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T is for Trouble. Growing up anyone would tell you that Dick Casablancas was trouble. Trouble with a capital T. Dick got in fights, was suspended from school, was pulled over for multiple moving violations. He had barely graduated from high school, barely made it to college- and that was with the help of his wealth and well connected mother. He drank too much, slept too little. And his friends were all trouble too. There was no denying it. Dick was trouble.

Mac however was thoughtful. Even when she felt out of place in her family, she didn't rebel in a way that would hurt them or herself. She simply did what was right for her, while balancing her wants and needs with her family. She didn't try to make trouble. Didn't try to avoid trouble. She just did what she did.

"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself." Anthony Rapp.

T is for Time. Time changed people. Time heals all wounds. Time has a million and one pity quotes and proverbs to define it and what it can do.

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back." Harvey MacKay.

Mac passed the time until she could graduate from high school, start her real life, the life she chose for herself, the one defined by her, not her parents, not an accident in the hospital, not her wealth or lack of it.

Dick ignored time. Time was for filling with fun, for moving from one pleasurable activity to another. He never considered that as time passed things changed, that you were expected to change with it. He just wanted to have fun. Time had nothing to do with it.

"Time discovers truth." Seneca.

The time came when everything seemed to stop. Mac froze, unable to understand what had happened. Dick froze, unable to deal with what was lost. But time moved on. Life moved on. Mac was able to try relationships again. Bronson. Max. Then Dick. And Dick was able to think about his brother and not fall down a well of despair.

"Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in." Napoleon Bonaparte.

They both took some time to heal. But eventually they emerged from their grief. They didn't expect to fall in love. Didn't expect their relationship to work. Didn't expect that years would pass, years spent together.

"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you."

"Mac?"

"Yeah."

"I love you." He is smiling, relaxed, his tone easy.

"OK," her response is puzzlement. "I love you."

"I know, and that makes me happy, but right this second, is not the best time to discuss it."

He is indignant. "Why not?"

"Because we're not alone." Her gaze cuts to the two people sitting across from them, their son's second grade teacher and the school principal.

"I thought anytime was a good time to say I love you."

The principal, an attractive woman in her early 40s grins. "I tell my husband that all the time."

Dick rewards her with a grin. "See?"

"Well maybe you could have told me in the car on the way here, or on the way home, but in the middle of a parent-teacher conference about why our seven year old son kissed Veronica and Logan's eight year old daughter and ended up tied to a slide with a jump rope is not the best time."

"Why not?"

"I'm beginning to see where Jack gets it from." Dick hears the implied rebuke in the teacher's voice.

"Well I know where Lizzie gets it from. Her mom probably taught her to horse whip any boy who got near her, but you don't see Lizzie or Veronica or Logan here do you?"

"As a matter of fact, Lizzie was suspended from school for two days, and we did meet with her parents," the principal defends her fairness. Dick rolls his eyes. "What's under discussion right now, is that your son needs to understand that he cannot go around kissing whatever girl he wants."

"Why not? If that was true Jack wouldn't be here. "

Mac groans.

"Yes, well, since you brought it up, your son did mention that his favorite story is how his father got his mother by grabbing her and kissing her. On the beach I believe."

Mac blushes and her eyes drift shut on another groan. "You did not tell him that story."

Dick shrugs.

"Jack told that story to the whole class during sharing this week."

Dick grins. Mac looks mortified.

"If it makes you feel better, Lizzie was in my class last year, and nothing Jack has done compares to what she was capable of on a weekly basis," the teacher consoles Mac. "Some of her stories..."

"I can imagine."

"So what's it gonna be? Suspension? Detention?" Dick is ready to argue for their son, though he doesn't see that being suspended could be all that bad.

"For our younger students we usually try to correct behavior patterns, not punishments."

"But you suspended Lizzie."

"Well, yes..."

The principal and teacher try not to laugh as the memory of day's drama played back. Tiny Lizzie Echolls got caught sneaking out of her third grade class. Her teacher had demanded an explanation, which led to the story of the kiss, how Jack walked up to her at lunch and kissed her, and how to teach Jack and the other boys a lesson she and a few of her friends (which she refused to name) had tied Jack to a slide and left him there. The teachers were shocked to discover that Jack had not returned to class after lunch recess, that he was in fact still tied to the slide and Lizzie had seen him out the window and decided to go rescue him, thus getting caught.

Her tiny doll face, surrounded by pale blonde hair had looked up at them with righteous indignation. "It's not my fault he doesn't know how to undo the knots."

U

U is for Unexpected. Finding out that the child you had brought home from the hospital was not yours was unexpected. Weighing the options of giving up the child you had raised and loved for three years was untenable. Deciding that biology didn't matter as much as love was unanticipated. Keeping the child that was the child of your heart if not your genes was unquestionable. Figuring out that you got the better end of the deal was undeniable. It was also unspeakable.

U is for Under (the surface). Mac had always felt wrong in her family. Like there was just something not right. They loved her. Treated her well. Supported her. Enjoyed her. The problem wasn't emotion. It was a matter of fit. Mac just didn't fit with them, and it was apparent to her from a very young age. There was always something under the surface that was glossed over. When Veronica told Mac the truth – that she had been sent home with the wrong family from the hospital, it all made sense. Mac had thought maybe she was adopted, but switched at birth was so much more dramatic. The truth was under the surface, but what was more surprising than the truth was that her parents had known for years. Nearly from the beginning, and had kept her.

Mac had the undeniable knowledge that she was loved. Loved for herself and not her biology. Her parents had chosen her. And as much as she didn't fit with them, as much as she wondered about the other family that might have been hers, she always knew she was loved.

U is for Unavailable. Dick's parents, on the other hand, were unavailable. Unavailable to change diapers, snuggle, read books. Unavailable for midnight feedings and comforting when a child was sick. Unavailable to develop any bond with their children. They were otherwise occupied. With making their fortune, then doubling it. With maintaining their status in the community.

They were Unseeing. They did not think anything about the changes in behavior of their youngest child, because they did not see it. They did not think to correct the behavior of their older child because they did not see it. Emotionally unavailable. They made sure their children had every material possession they could desire, but no emotional bond whatsoever.

V

V is for Vegan. Mac was Vegan. Dick didn't get it. He liked meat. Steaks. Carne asada burritos. Bacon. Lobster. Sushi. Meat was good.

Dick thought being vegan just made things more difficult. But Mac shrugged off his criticism. "Maybe not everything is supposed to be easy."

"Why would you want to make things harder?"

Mac considers a few analogies, trying to find one that will make sense to Dick. They were just becoming comfortable with being friends. It was September of their second year of college.

"Look at Logan and Veronica. Nothing is easy for them. But it's worth it."

Dick looks like he disagrees. "It's worth it? It's worth Logan being bummed out for weeks at a time whenever Ronnie decides he's not good enough for her?"

Mac frowns. "That's not how it is."

"Oh yeah? I live with the guy. I get an up close and personal view on the drama. And that is exactly how it is. Ronnie PMSs and Logan turns into a sad sac bastard."

"No, I mean Veronica doesn't think Logan isn't good enough for her."

Snorting his dismissal of her rebuttal. "Right."

"Look, Logan is my friend too, but you can't deny he does some stupid stuff. Dangerous stuff. And their history is..." Words fail her and she makes a face like it's a horror show. "How you guys treated her in high school? Everything that happened to her? I don't know how she's with him at all."

"No way, girls always pull that, bringing up past shit. You can't keep throwing that stuff in our faces."

"It's not that easy. You can't just forget." Mac stares at him, both knowing that some things could not be forgotten. They had to be lived with.

"If that's the case then they should just break up for good."

"They love each other. That's my whole point. It's hard, but it's worth it. Veronica was with Piz." Dick snorts. "It was easy.
Simple. Clean. But it could never match up to what she had with Logan."

Dick shakes his head, clearly not willing to concede the point. "Fine. Ronnie and Logan like torturing each other. Whatever. But you can only choose from two or three items on a menu because you choose not
to eat meat."

Mac sighs. "OK, how about this. You choose not to drink Budweiser."

"Huh?"

"You only drink expensive beer, you're limiting your menu to just a few items. Why do it?

"'Cause Bud tastes like water."

"See my point?"

"No 'cause if Budweiser or PBR was the only beer available, I would drink them. No problem."

"And if I was starving I would eat a fish burrito. But I'm not."

Dick thinks about it as they clean up their lunch trays and get ready to head to their next classes. "So what you're saying is that if you were hungry enough..."

"Starving, I said starving."

"...you would have a steak."

"No, not a steak. Beef is very hard to digest, I wouldn't be able to just suddenly eat beef."

"But if you were starving?"

"Fine yes. If it was me or Bessie the cow, I chose me."

"Alright then. See you later?"

She rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe I just lost an argument to Dick Casablancas."

"I think I was just insulted."

-VM—

V is for Visit. Mac visited Dick in rehab. They needed someone to come that could talk about his brother with him. Since Big Dick was in jail and his mom was unavailable, that left Mac. It wasn't the first time she had talked to Dick about Beaver, but it was the first time she saw Dick unload. She'd seen Dick angry before, but he always moved on quickly. In this therapy session the rehab counselors were encouraging Dick to face his emotions. Express them.

Dick was angry. Angry at his brother, his father, his mother. Woody. Society. Himself. He was mad at Logan for being there when Beaver jumped. At Veronica for pursuing her investigation that pushed Beaver into a corner. He was mad at everyone. And he raged. The only one he didn't seem to be mad at was Mac. Mac who had seen the goodness of his brother and loved him. Mac had been a bright spot in his brother's otherwise bleak life.

No, he wasn't mad at Mac. But his anger at the rest of them, at himself was virulent. And that was what the counselors at rehab needed him to get too. That was his breakthrough.

-VM—

V is for Vacation. After they had been dating just a few months, Dick suggested that they take a trip together. Mac had agreed to consider it, and was surprised when Dick suggested India as their destination.

"They have great Vegan food, right?"

She nodded her confirmation.

On their trip they ate lots of food, much of it without meat, though asking for Vegan food just brought confusion. Mac learned to just order the dishes that were normally vegan and go from there. Discussions about her decision to not eat meat or other animal products baffled many of the Indian people.

They also visited a lot of temples and learned about the meshwork of Hindu and Buddhism that imbued the country with its vibrant spiritualism. There were many gods in the Hindu religion. Dick snorted upon learning about Shiva. "What's the point of being a god if you're going to be celibate?"

Dick was most interested in Kali, who he knew about from an Indiana Jones movie. His understanding was that she was a kick-ass goddess who killed lots of people and caused her worshipers to go crazy.

"That's a misconception, I think. That she is the goddess of creation and destruction." Mac corrects him. "It says here she is a Tantric goddesses."

"Tantric? Nice." Dick leers at her and Mac smacks his hand away from her butt. "But where's all the destruction? Where are all the bodies of the people she killed?"

"Sure destruction, giant death matches between the gods, but symbolically, Kali characterizes letting go of the past to make room for a more purposeful present and future."

Dick frowns, not seeing the connection.

V is for Vishnu.

Standing before a depiction of Vishnu, Dick stops to read the description. Preserver and protector of creation. Embodiment of mercy and goodness. Vishnu had been sorely missed in his life. There was no one to protect, no mercy, no goodness.

Dick looks over at Mac. But maybe things were changing.