Breaking Every Rule

Chapter Five: Communication Breakdown

Even though they loved the excitement that came along with sneaking around, there was nothing better than the times that they didn't have to hide their relationship. Times like right now when Chuck found himself on Blair's bed, caressing one of her thighs over those way too sexy red tights.

Being a boyfriend definitely wasn't as bad as he thought. Sure, they weren't a couple in the traditional sense where they would go out on dates and walk around holding hands, but moments like this more than made up for that in Blair's eyes. She absolutely loved that, just like he took her actual virginity, she was taking his dating virginity. She broke the Bass.

"You looked pretty hot on Prince Theodore's arm today," he drawled as he raised his hand slightly on her thigh to make sure she knew how much he truly appreciated every single inch of her body.

Blair couldn't help but blush, "Is that what I am to you? An accessory?"

He let out a soft chuckle…he loved their witty banter, and then pulled away from her a tiny bit, "On anyone else, yes." With that said, he flipped them over so Blair was now on top of him, straddling his waist. "But on me you'd be so much more."

A slow smirk formed on her face and she leaned down to kiss him. "Yes, but I can't be on you, remember? You don't want Nate to find out. I don't want anyone to." She then grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back up so they were both sitting. Chuck decided to take control again and he ran his hands through her hair, pulling her lips closer to his, and began to pull her shirt out from her shorts with his free hand, slowly inching his way up to her breast. "You have to learn to behave yourself first."

"Really?" Chuck quirked an eyebrow, and, to his surprise, Blair pulled his hand out from under her top and roughly pushed him back down onto the bed so he was lying down. He looked up at her confused, but she just smirked at him before pulling her shirt over her head. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, looking up at her in awe.

Without responding, she leaned down and began to unbutton his shirt, growing inpatient and ultimately ripping the buttons down the middle, making them fly all over the place. "Good thing you keep extra clothes here." Blair smirked, and Chuck laughed. "You have a condom?" she quickly asked as she pulled off her shorts and tights – leaving her in only her lace boyshorts and matching bra.

Chuck grinned. "Since when do I not come prepared, Waldorf?" he asked, smirking and then he flipped them back over so he was on top once again. "But I want to try something new first."

"New?" Blair asked as Chuck began to kiss his way down her body. He just groaned in acknowledgment of her question, letting her know that, yes, they were, in fact, going to try something new. But Blair wasn't one who liked to be surprised…at least not when it came to stuff like this. She had always been the type of person who needed to be in control; ironically enough, with Chuck, she was never in complete control. He knew that what Blair really needed was to surrender herself to another person for a while and let someone else run the show. "What do you mean by new?"

Chuck just let out a little laugh as he began to pull down her underwear with his teeth, quickly discarding it on the floor. He kissed each of her inner thighs and she trembled against him. "Trust me, Blair…you'll like it." He paused. "You do trust me, don't you?"

Blair just nodded, but she still couldn't figure out what he was going to do to her. Sure, it might have been pretty obvious to anyone else, but, like Blair had reminded Chuck so many times, all she knew was that things she had done with him. And he had never given her head before.

Somehow, Chuck ended up under the covers, with his head in between her legs as Blair clutched onto her Egyptian cotton sheets, letting out little moans of pleasure. "I told you you'd like it." Chuck smirked and then continued to 'service' her. Instead of responding, Blair just viciously nodded. The only problem was that she didn't want to seem to eager, and she had to fight back every instinct to buckle her hips in the air. Apparently, she wasn't doing a very good job, because Chuck placed his hands on her waist in order to keep her still.

Finally, she arched her back up in the air and she was so close to finally reaching her peak, but the sound of Dorota's thick accent snapped her out of her bliss. "Miss Blair, Mr. Nate for you."

Blair let out a loud groan as Chuck sat up, sporting an obvious erection and looking beyond pissed. She then stood up and began to get dressed, keeping her eyes locked on his. "I'm just going to go get rid of him. Then we can continue where we left of?"

Despite how obvious it was that Blair wanted him and not Nate, Chuck couldn't help but feel insecure as she left him alone in her bedroom and skipped down the stairs to her ex.

"What are you doing here, Nate?" Blair asked him, making absolutely no effort to hide how much she didn't want to be seeing him. "Actually," she spoke again before he could respond, "I don't even care. Just go."

"Blair…" Nate started in the voice that used to send chills up her spine – but today, he was having absolutely no affect on her. Nate understood that she was pissed, but all he wanted was to have her back and he knew that he needed to get her to hear him out. "Ever since rehearsal this morning, I just…couldn't stop thinking about you." Instead of responding, she just quirked an eyebrow at him, prompting Nate to continue his speech, "I mean, the ball's something we've talked about doing together our whole lives…and I've given you ever reason to hate me—"

"True," Blair cut him off, unmoved by his attempted apology, but she was interested, nonetheless. "But keep going,"

Nate paused before speaking again – he was blatantly nervous. "And the Prince…he's uh… a great dancer and all…but, is there any chance you would go with me instead? For old times sake?"

"Is that a joke?" she scoffed at him. "After everything, you just want to be with me again? Why?"

Nate looked at her in shock; he'd expected Blair to go running back into his arms like she always did. He screwed up all the time and it always ended the same way. So Nate decided to be a little more persistent. "I miss you so much." Blair's face suddenly softened as he continued to give his speech. "And I know I screwed up…you know, with your birthday and everything, but I love you. I was just confused."

"Confused?" Blair asked, incredulously. "That's your excuse? You were confused?"

"I know it's not a good explanation, but I'm finally thinking clearly now…I love you. I think if we just give it another shot, we can make this work. Maybe we can start with the ball?"

Blair shook her head, and found herself fighting back tears. "You don't get it, do you, Nate? This isn't just about what you pulled at my birthday."

"Okay…" Nate said, drawing out his words, "What else is there?"

She scoffed, unable to believe that he would even ask that question. "You know, all this time I tried so hard to be the perfect girlfriend. I forgave you for everything with Serena because I thought it was my fault. That I did something wrong to make you cheat. But it's like, whenever I'm with you, I feel this constant need to make myself better for you. I know you don't mean it, but you have this way of making me feel like I'm never good enough. And I hate that feeling, and I feel like I need to prove myself to you."

Nate furrowed his brow, "Of course you're good enough. I never meant to—"

"I know," she whispered. "I just…I should be with someone that makes me feel happier, not unworthy. I don't think that's too much to ask for."

After sitting in silence for a moment, Nate let out a deep breath and said, "You're not unworthy. If anything, I'm unworthy, and I want to make it up to you."

Blair briefly closed her eyes and said, "If you want to make it up to me, Nate, then just be my friend."

"Okay." Nate whispered. "I want you to be happy, Blair." He paused, "Maybe we could still go to cotillion together. As friends?"

Blair nodded and let out a little smile. "But just as friends."

"Of course," he grinned.

~*~*~*~

Chuck was pissed as hell when Blair entered her room again. She looked at him, confused as to why he was so angry, but he clarified before she even had the chance to ask. "Are you that desperate to get back with Nate, Blair?"

"What are you—?"

"Oh, come on, Blair." Chuck scoffed going on the defensive –there was no way he was going to pour his heart out just for her to stomp all over it and go back to Nate. "Who are we kidding? We both know what this thing between us means."

"Wait…" Blair started, finally understanding, and she began to laugh. "Are you jealous? There's nothing going on with Nate and me. I know you were listening, so you should know that I don't want him, or anyone else for that matter. I jut want you…my boyfriend."

He couldn't help but make a disgusted face, because he was convinced that every word out of her mouth right now was a lie. She was crying while she was talking with Nate…that meant she still loved him. So there was nothing else for Chuck to do but shut down. "Well you don't have me, Blair."

"You don't mean that." Blair stated, a little weakly, as she stared straight into is eyes.

"I'll try to be more succinct," Chuck started. "You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. But now…I've used you for all your worth and you can go back to Nate broken in." She didn't say anything – there wasn't really anything she could say to him. The hurt in Blair's eyes told him that he had hit a nerve, so he just kept going. "I wonder how you're going to explain why you're not a virgin anymore. I mean—"

He was cut off by the feeling of Blair's hand colliding with his face. "Fuck you." Blair spat at him, with tears streaming down her face, and Chuck just looked at her in shock, bringing his hand to the bright red handprint on his face, which was when he finally realized exactly what he had just said. "I want you out of my house and out of my life!" Blair screamed, and Chuck instantly replayed the conversation that Blair and Nate had downstairs.

Chuck had thought that she was crying because she still loved him, and Chuck had clearly overreacted. And to make matters worse, he knew that he was making Blair feel the same exact way she had told Nate that he made her feel, and he hated himself for it. But it was too late to take it back, so Chuck just did the only think he knew how…he walked away.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Blair went home at a surprisingly early hour. Cotillion had been a huge disappointment to say the least. The only positive part was that Chuck hadn't shown up. Nate had been the perfect friend; he made absolutely no effort to woo her back and seemed to be making a genuine effort to build a platonic relationship with her. But despite all of that, she spent the whole night silently obsessing over everything Chuck had said to her.

Was that really all he thought of her? All she meant to him? And had he really used her for all she was worth?

Of course, Blair made sure that no one was aware of how completely and utterly devastated she was. But now that she was alone, she could finally let her feelings show. So Blair sat down at the edge of het bed without bothering to turn the lights on before breaking down in tears. She hated herself right now; because Blair knew it was all her fault for believing Chuck when he said that he cared about her. She should have known that Chuck would never change…but still, she allowed herself to fall in love with him.

That was when she felt a hand touch her shoulder, "Blair…" the person whispered and Blair immediately knew who it was.

She shot up from her bed and quickly turned the lamp on, quickly wiping away her tears, praying that he didn't know she was crying…then again, didn't he always. "Leave," was all Blair could manage to say – just looking at him made her want to cry even harder. But Chuck refused to move, and, after a few moments, Blair went to lock herself in the bathroom, but was quickly stopped when Chuck rushed in front of her, keeping her from running away.

"About what I said today—"

"What about it, Chuck?" Blair spat at him, "Because I'm really not in the mood to be told how disgusting I am again."

He let out a loud sigh and took her hand, but Blair quickly pulled it away. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I was just…jealous." Chuck paused, giving Blair a chance to respond, but when she just stared back at him, completely unmoved, he started talking again. "I don't know why I said all of that stuff—"

"But you did say it, Chuck." Blair cut him off, wiping away a stray tear. "It had to of come from somewhere…on some level you meant it."

Blair turned around once again to try and get as far away from him as possible, but Chuck grabbed her wrist, keeping her close as he looked into her eyes. "I just wanted to get you upset and I knew it would get to you, okay? You have to know that none of it is true." She didn't respond. "Please, Blair…I made a mistake okay?"

"Nate hurt me enough; I don't want to be put in that situation again…I'm not one of your whores and you can't just push me around like that." She cried. "This isn't a game for me, Chuck, so if it is for you, then please, just end it because I can't and you've clearly already won."

"It's not a game." Chuck whispered as cupped her cheek with his hand. "I promise." Instead of responding, Blair briefly closed her eyes and nodded, letting her forehead lean against his; she then moved her lips slightly forward, just enough so they lightly touched his – it was barely a kiss, but it meant so much more than either of them could ever explain. Chuck then reached out his arm to her, gesturing for her to join him in her bed, "Come on". She hesitated for a moment, but ultimately took his hand and climbed into bed with him and he spooned his body against hers.

After a while of just peacefully lying there, Blair let out a long sigh and said, "This was the worse night ever."

Chuck smirked, "Because I wasn't there?"

Rolling here eyes, Blair said, "Shut up." Chuck laughed, and, just like that all was forgiven. She cuddled up closer to him and let out a huge sigh before saying, "Chuck?"

"Mmh?" he replied as he breathed in the sent of her hair.

"Don't screw me over, okay?"

"I won't." He lightly kissed her lips before pulling her in so she was resting her head on his chest once again, and Blair stayed there, forcing herself to stay awake until she felt his breath steady and was sure he was asleep before finally letting herself surrender to the exhaustion.