Breaking Every Rule

Chapter Ten: A Christmas Breakdown Part Three

The few people that knew about the relationship between Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf had absolutely no idea what, exactly, attracted these two to each other. Dan just shrugged it off and accredited it to the old saying 'opposites attract', Nate didn't understand it at all – it made absolutely no sense to him, how she could chose Chuck over him, but he was in no position to object after his little stunt last night. And Serena, well, Serena was somewhat of the exception. As Blair's best friend and Chuck's almost stepsister, she knew their relationship better than anyone else. She knew that Chuck was the only one who had unconditionally been there for Blair, and, she also witnessed enough between Chuck and Bart to know that he was just as broken as her, and Blair was the only one who was always there for him too. The truth was, they were more alike than almost anyone realized.

They both played a role in their society. Blair was the Queen B: innocent (supposedly), a genius (future Yalie), and popular. Chuck, on the other hand, liked to pretend to play the part of the playboy of the Upper East Side, but in reality, he cast himself as future CEO of Bass Industries, and, recently, he added the part of Blair Waldorf's boyfriend. They both lived their version of the perfect life and had no idea how to deal with it when their lives didn't follow the script that they had written themselves.

Whenever that would happen, the two tended to find comfort in each other, because, even though Serena was great at keeping your mind off of the problem, and Nate was a good listener, Chuck and Blair understood each other. Serena knew that – Nate didn't.

But right now, the problem wasn't getting Nate to understand their relationship, and as much as she wanted to scream at him, she couldn't. She needed to be there for Blair. So she did what any best friend would do and made her way into the suite she was sharing with Blair (she knew that she was there with Chuck, but, considering the circumstances, there was no way she would be interrupting anything), but the moment she opened the door, she saw the last thing she ever wanted to see. And, no, she didn't walk in on them having sex, but this might have been worse, because, if there were having sex, at least certain…body parts would have been covered up. However, that wasn't the case – not only were they not having sex, but Blair was sound asleep under the covers. Chuck, however, wasn't.

Serena stood by the door, staring at Chuck Bass naked. It wasn't that she wanted to look, but she couldn't look away. She wasn't attracted to him in any way whatsoever, but she had to acknowledge that he was, well, the most endowed guy she'd ever seen. And she'd seen a lot on her day.

Serena was also somewhat surprised by the fact that he was muscular. Sure, the 'Abercombie & Fitch' model-type body like Nate..more like Matt Damon in between movies.

"Can I help you?" Chuck asked quietly so he didn't wake up Blair and continued to look around the room, presumably for his boxers. If there was one thing about Chuck Bass, it was that he knew he was hot, and, even though he didn't flaunt it by walking around shirtless like a certain ex-best friend of his, he didn't make any attempt to hide it either.

Serena stared for another moment or so before shaking her head and coming back to her senses and facing away from him before speaking. "Yeah, sorry. I just…um, wanted to check on Blair." She paused for a second before saying, "Wait…you're not leaving, are you? Because she can't wake up without you here – not now."

Chuck just rolled his eyes. "You can turn around now," he told her, and she did, finding him now covered by his boxers. "And no, I'm not leaving."

"Then why are you—"

"We dock in St. Martin in two days," he told her, "and she needs to get home…so I'm arranging to have the Bass jet pick us up from there." Serena nodded and Chuck thought for a second before adding, "You and Brooklyn are welcome to come, but Nathaniel has to find his own way home."

"But Nate's your best friend." She argued. "He made a mistake and he feels really bad about it."

Chuck glared at her and put the rest of his clothes on before grabbing her arm and leading her outside. "Yeah, it seems that when it comes to Blair all everyone does is make mistakes. And Nate, he doesn't care about her. He claims that he still loves her, but if he loved her, he would have never done this. He would have never given me the opportunity to sleep with Blair in the first place, or do it again at her birthday. I wouldn't have been able to buy her that necklace because he would have already. He wouldn't have needed the Captain to tell him to be with Blair, he would want to." Serena opened her mouth to interject, but he was too far gone. "He thinks he loves her but her doesn't. He doesn't even know her – all he knows is that part she plays."

"Chuck—"

"No." he cut her off once, again, way too carried away. "He twists everything so it's everyone's fault but his own, but this is on him, not me. He broke her before I even had the chance. He's the reason she relapsed."

And then he finally let out a breath, forcing himself to calm down and, after a moment, Serena started to speak, "I know that. But it wasn't just him. This time it was, but it's not all on him, okay? It was her mom, and her dad leaving, and me…Dan and I were just with him and he feels horrible…Plus, Blair's sick again and we all want to help her get better, even Nate. Let him help."

"He should feel horrible." A familiar, yet, unexpected voice stated and the two almost siblings turned to see Blair, standing by her doorway, wearing a fluffy white robe and, judging by her wet hair, straight out of the shower. "And I am not broken."

Chuck looked at her completely confused – just hours ago, she broke up with him because she was so broken and couldn't handle being with him. "And I'm not sick anymore…I just had a moment of weakness and took it too far. Don't worry…it was the first time since Thanksgiving."

"But you said—" Chuck started, about to remind her that she had told him she's been doing this for a while now, but Blair didn't give him the chance.

She shook her head. "I didn't say anything, Chuck." Blair then let out a smile – one that Chuck could see right through. "It's late. Why don't you get some sleep and we'll have breakfast tomorrow, okay?" Blair gave him a light kiss on the lips before telling him she loved him and turning to walk back into her room.

Once the door closed behind her, Chuck and Serena looked at each other, both hoping that the other had an idea, but nothing came to mind. Finally, Serena said, "Blair's right, it's late. Nothing is going to get accomplished tonight anyway. So go to sleep and we'll figure out what to do in the morning." But Chuck just looked at her like she was an idiot – even though it killed him to hear her say all the things she did earlier, it was progress. Admitting she had a problem is the first step to recovery, but now she was back to where she was a week ago. There was no way he was giving her the opportunity to make herself sick again now that he knew about it. Serena read his thoughts and let out a sigh, "I'm a light sleeper – if she gets up in the middle of the night, I'll hear it. I won't let her hurt herself, okay?"

"I'm not sleeping in that room, Serena." He told her sternly before making his way back into the room where Blair was typing furiously on her computer. "Hey," he greeted her as soon as they were alone once again. "I figured I'd stay over."

Blair looked up at him and smiled, and, for a brief moment, Chuck felt sick, because he recognized the smile – it was the smile that she used to give Nate. The one she wore when she was trying to play her part, and Chuck was under the impression that they didn't play their parts when they were together.

And Blair knew this – she knew that he could see right through her, but that didn't stop her from trying. So she closed her computer – her research could wait until tomorrow – and placed it on the nightstand before reaching her arm out and gesturing for him to get into bed. "Come here."

Chuck immediately complied – sure, he knew that Blair needed to confront her issues, but he also knew it wasn't the time: 2:00 in the morning on a cruise ship wasn't the time to make her admit she had a problem. So he got into bed and, immediately, Blair cuddled up to him, resting her head on his chest and cuddling up next to him, and he began to rub soothing circles on her beck and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"You're a good boyfriend." Blair stated as she drifted off to sleep – Chuck chose not to mention that, technically, she broke up with him. Instead, he listened to her steady breathing, making sure she was fast asleep before even considering closing his eyes and finally allowing himself to surrender to his exhaustion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, B!" Serena chirped to her best friend when she took a seat at the lounge chair next to her. "Where's Chuck? I thought you guys were having breakfast."

Blair let out a smile and shrugged, "Yeah, but I didn't want to wake him up, so I just figured I'd come up here…I mean, I knew you and Cabbage Patch would be here anyway. I told him to meet us for lunch." She then nodded at Dan in acknowledgement for the first time, but, as always, she quickly ignored him and began speaking with her best friend. "I know you thought Chuck wasn't good for me and everything, but I'm really happy with him." She told her, hoping to convince her not to do anything about her condition, "In fact, I don't think I've been this happy in a long time."

Serena forced out a smile. "I know. Chuck's good for you, B." She then paused before placing her hand on top of Blair's and tentatively bringing up the topic of last night. "Chuck's not the problem, sweetie. You have a problem and you need to stop denying it."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Serena." Blair rolled her eyes.

"Blair!" Serena snapped, fed up, but still careful to keep her voice quiet. "You're bulimic and you need to address the problem. You need to get better."

Blair scoffed, normally, she would be pissed about Serena bring this up in front of Dan, but after last night, he had to have known everything. "I'm not bulimic anymore, S."

And Serena couldn't help it – she knew she shouldn't be mad, but she was pissed that Blair wouldn't even acknowledge her problem. So she just let out a deep breath – she needed to take a walk before she said something that would push Blair even further over the edge. "I have to pee."

With that said, Serena stood up and walked away, and, a moment later, Dan spoke to Blair for the first time since this whole thing started. "You know…my uncle is an alcoholic." Blair looked at him like he was making no sense – whatever this story was, it was completely out of place, and she was just about to tell him that when he continued speaking. "He's been sober for 12 years, but he's an alcoholic."

"What's your point, Humphrey?" Blair asked.

"My point is that he may not drink anymore, but that doesn't mean he's not tempted. The desire is what makes him an alcoholic; the action of drinking is just whether or not he falls back into his old ways. He still goes to AA meetings and sees a therapist because he is still an alcoholic and they help keep him on track." Dan paused for a moment and realized that he had finally caught her attention. "It may not be my place, but my point is that you can't not be bulimic anymore. As much as you may hate it, it's part of who you are. So, I suggest you follow my uncles example and get help in some way. Regardless of last night – it doesn't matter if it was a relapse or if it's a regular occurrence. Seeing someone will do one of two things: either get you to stop making yourself sick, or keep you from reaching the point where you feel like you have no choice."

Blair didn't say anything for a moment, just stared blankly ahead, refusing to let him in.

~*~*~*~*~

Chuck woke up and reached for Blair, trying to hold her in his arms, but popped out of bed when he noticed he was the only one there, and, to his surprise, a note.

Chuck,

Didn't want to wake you. Went up to the pool with Serena and Humphrey. Lunch is at 1:00, but try to come up before that. Love you.

XOXO,

Blair

Chuck let out a deep sigh – he was hoping that she would have come to her senses after sleeping on everything, but, obviously not. He needed to get through to her one way or another, and he was going to do it – no matter what. So Chuck fought off his fatigue and got out of bed and jumping into a quick shower before getting ready to meet Blair by the pool.

~*~*~*~*~

After sitting in silence for a few minutes, Blair was finally ready to respond and tell Dan that he didn't know anything about her. That, despite what Serena had told him, he had no idea, because Serena didn't either. Because she ran away and she wasn't there. Therefore, Dan had no idea, and he didn't care. But she stopped herself when she saw the love of her life approaching and forced a grin on her face before standing up.

"Hi," Blair greeted Chuck with a kiss. "You slept late."

Chuck shrugged, trying to push all of the issues out of his mind for right now – the conversation needed to occur in private. "I guess I was tired."

"Well," Blair smirked, and wrapped her hands around his waist, pushing her pelvis against his, "Maybe there is something I could do to wake you up." With that said, she slowly trailed one of her hands over his chest, feeling his slight abs and then placed her other hand on his butt. "And, think about it…we don't even have to hide anymore. If you wanted to…you could kiss me right now."

And, even though Chuck knew it might not have been a good idea – for a number of reasons, he was still a guy, and she was still irresistible, so he pressed his lips against hers, and ran his hands down her sides – she was so perfect, but than he couldn't help but remember how she didn't get how truly perfect she was. And how he was the reason she had relapsed in the first place. (even though he knew that wasn't what she said, he couldn't help but blame himself)

"What?" Blair asked him, wrapping her arms around herself when she noticed how he was looking at her.

Chuck just let out a slight smile and took a step closer to her, lightly kissing her lips. "Nothing," he assured her and let out a slight smile, "You're perfect…I just remembered that we're in public…we wouldn't want me to get carried away, now, would we?"

Blair smiled and then grabbed his hand, leading him over to her lounge chair, that he got into first, before Blair came in so they were cuddling against each other. "About last night…" Chuck started after a few minutes – after all, Dan had joined Serena on her walk, and they were all alone. It seemed like a good time. "You don't have to hide it from me."

"I didn't." Blair told him. "I told you everything, I just didn't want Serena to know." And Chuck couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief and kiss the top of her head – she wasn't in denial after all. Sure, keeping it from her best friend was a problem, and she still wasn't herself, but it was better than he expected. "I emailed my doctor last night and we talked this morning. Everything is going to be fine, okay?"

"Yeah," Chuck responded with a smile. "I'm glad."

For a moment, Blair didn't say anything, because she hated lying to him. She did email her doctor last night, and they did speak this morning, but everything was definitely not fine, and it hadn't been for a while. But, then again, having Chuck there to support her gave her a little hope that she would be able to get better. "Yeah," she finally responded. "Me too."

"But you could tell me if it's not." Chuck reminded her, placing a light kiss on the top of her head.

"I know." Blair smiled at him, "But I'm perfectly fine."

Chuck nodded, and neither of them spoke for a moment, but then he asked, "Why don't you want Serena knowing?"

Blair paused for a moment and then let out a deep sigh before answering his question. "It's just…Serena's my best friend, and I love her. And I know she means well, but…" Blair stopped talking for a moment, trying to find the right words, and finally spoke again, "She's just so fucking perfect, you know? She's tall and curvy and beautiful and—"

"Serena's a whore." Chuck scoffed. As much as he wanted to be there for Blair, he couldn't help but be pissed when she expressed all of this out loud. "Sure, she's hot. I mean, she definitely has that Victoria Secret model thing going for her—" he started, and Blair glared at him, but Chuck shook his head before finishing his sentence. " But you're so much better, Blair." He told her, not completely serious. "You're beautiful and smart and sexy as hell."

"Chuck…" Blair cut him off, with a small smile on her face. "You don't have too—"

But he didn't even let her finish, "You're only problem is that you don't see it."

And finally, Chuck stopped taking. Neither of them spoke for a moment; truthfully, Blair was absolutely speechless. She knew Chuck had changed since they got together, but this was a whole new level for him. So she just quirked an eyebrow at him and said, "Who are you and what did you do with Chuck Bass?" He scoffed and she just let out a smile and took his hand. "I love you."

"I know." Chuck responded smugly. "I love you too."

"I know," Blair smirked back at him and then let out a satisfied sigh before saying, "Let's not talk about this anymore; tell me something totally unrelated."

Chuck grinned as he sent Serena a quick text, telling her that he had taken care of everything and not to pressure her about getting help before speaking. "Unrelated?" he asked her and she nodded, "Well, I spoke to Bart this morning and apparently the hotels I got him to invest in are doing incredibly well. I'm making him a lot of money," he paused, "actually, I'm making a lot of money…all of his profits are going into my trust fund." Chuck scoffed, "somehow, Bart thinks I need the money. I'm getting over a billion in his will…More than enough for our future. But I'm not complaining."

Blair couldn't help but smile at his mention of their future, even though she knew it was probably just a slip of the tongue. She knew Chuck would never admit to thinking about their future together on purpose, so she chose not to mention it. "Well, I'm happy for you." Blair paused for a moment before saying, "I'm sure Bart is very proud."

"Of course he is," Chuck told her jokingly, but they both knew that there was pride behind his voice. It wasn't just a joke to him...having his fathers approval was one of the most important things to him. "I'm Chuck Bass."

And those three words were exactly what Blair needed – for some reason, she couldn't help but erupt in a fit of laughter. "And that just says it all, doesn't it, Bass?" she asked, sarcastically – neither of them realized that there was a certain someone about ten feet away who was overhearing their whole conversation.

"Well," Chuck started, "being Chuck Bass is what got you, right?"

"No," Blair rolled her eyes, "What got me was one too many glasses of champagne, a certain burlesque club, and the back of you're limo."

"That too," Chuck laughed, and then thought back on that night. "You were amazing that night."

"So I've heard," Blair smirked at her boyfriend and then cuddled closer to him. Even with everything that had happened, it was so comforting to know that just talking to Chuck could make all of her issues seem to disappear.