A/N- Sorry this took so long, I've been freakishly busy lately, but I managed to get this done somewhere between Trig homework and volleyball practice. Please R&R, and as always I appreciate the reviews. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
Finnick 15 Annie 13
The one thing that I've always taken pride in is my ability to keep promises. If I tell you I'm going to do something, I will do it, no matter what. I remember telling my parents that I was coming back from the arena. I did. I told Arowana that I was going to take care of her family. I am. So many promises, and all of them kept. Except one. I look down at the sapphire trident that's hanging around my neck. I've gotten so used to wearing it that I'd actually almost forgotten about it.
Until the Victory Tour that is. The last stop before you return to your district is the Capitol. They throw this huge party, with hundreds of people. I can't remember much because I was glued to Mags the entire time, but I did notice all of the tridents. None exactly like mine, but everyone there must have had some kind of trident necklace, or bracelet, or something like that. That made me remember my necklace, and in turn, my promise.
Now, I can't get the scene out of my head. My final goodbye to my best friend. He'd given me the necklace to wear as a district token, and I'd promised him that I'd bring it back. I guess I did, in a way. It's back to the district, which is what I intended. But in truth, I also know that I meant I'd give it back to him. I haven't done that yet.
Now that the necklace is back in my mind, it reminds me about more than just broken promises and the Hunger Games. It reminds me of the best friend that I've lost. I won't be able to really forget about him until I get rid of the necklace.
That's the reason why I'm walking down the stone-paved street towards Rafe's house right now. Or at least the big reason. Or maybe it isn't even a reason at all. Maybe I'm just telling myself that to justify coming here. It doesn't really matter why. It just matters that I'm doing it.
At least I want to do it, but when I see his weather beaten house looking down at me, I can't help but stop in my tracks. It's even worse than when I was trying to convince myself to knock on the Cresta's door that night, because now I know exactly what my reception is going to be. I have no hope that everyone will be grateful that I've come, that I'll be readily welcomed. No, I know that this is going to be horrible, that they may not even let me in.
I pace back and forth, eyeing the house like I'm afraid it's going to eat me. That's how nervous I am. My nerves are strung up so tight that when I hear footsteps behind me, my hand flies to my knife, and I'm impossibly close from taking it out and ruining everything. But at the last second, I realize that it's Rafe. My hand falls limply to my side.
He's standing ten feet away from me, his eyes huge.
"Finnick. What are you doing here?" he asks. His voice is thick with fear.
"I'm looking for a place to enter when I come to murder you tonight," I say dryly. His eyes get hard.
"I never implied anything," he says. I take a giant step towards him. He staggers backwards so quickly that he falls over.
"You just implied a hell of a lot right there." I'm trying not to scream, but the anger is evident in my voice. I don't want to be mad, I didn't come here to yell at him, but the only other option is acting hurt, and I definitely don't want to do that.
"I thought- I thought-." When he realizes he can't defend himself, he switches tactics. "What do you care anyway? It's not like you've made any attempts to work this out the last seven months." I stalk over to him and look down at him.
"Work this out? You expect me to come over to your house and try to work this damn thing out? God Rafe, are you stupid? We were best friends and you turned your back on me. There's no going back."
"Best friends? Were we ever really even friends? You treated me more like a body guard than anything. You barely hung out with me at school. It was always the other rich guys, the beautiful girls. I embarrassed you Finnick. You just talked with me when it was convenient. Now I'm doing the same thing." I swear that I'm mad enough that I start seeing red.
"You're making it sound like I'm cheating on you or something. I said I was your best friend, not your damn girlfriend. Are you mad at me because other people actually like me? Are you jealous because I have everything, and you're living in a falling down house with a whore for a mother and no father?" I know I've gone to far. I've crossed the line that no one with any conscience should cross. It's a million times worse because he's still on the ground, trying not to cry, and I'm looking down at him like I'm going to step on him.
"I can't believe that I actually thought that you give a shit about me," Rafe says quietly, his voice breaking at the end. It's pathetic, but now I'm the one that's crying. I try to wipe the tears away because I feel like such a girl, but they won't stop.
"Damn it. I have to go," I mutter under my breath, tilting my face away from him, hoping that he can't see the tears.
"Thanks for coming," Rafe says bitterly. I turn around and start stomping away, but then I remember what I walked over there for anyway. I walk back to where Rafe is getting up, dusting off his knees. He looks up warily when he sees me.
"What?" he snaps. He isn't in any danger of crying anymore. Now, he's just mad. I pull the necklace over my head.
"I promised I'd bring this back," I mumble, then drop it into his hand. I start to leave again, but he puts a hand on my arm.
"Keep it. It probably means more to you than it does to me." I laugh darkly.
"Yeah. Memories of a friendship that meant nothing to you and time in an arena that still gives me nightmares. It means so much to me." Again, I try to pull away. He tightens his grip on my arm.
"Wait. Meant nothing to me? What are you talking about." I grit my teeth in frustration.
"You didn't even think that we were friends. What did you say exactly? Nothing but a body guard?"
"Wasn't I?" I let out a shaky breath.
"Yeah, you were. But you were other things too. You were like a brother to me." He shakes his head.
"You just started thinking like that after you got back. You had never said anything close to that before."
"There are some things you shouldn't need to say. You should've known that. You acted like it."
"That's because I thought so too. Then you went into the arena, I saw you playing that girl from here, I saw you killing like it was nothing, and I realized that you can't care about anyone." I punch him in the face hard enough that he staggers back. Blood starts trickling from his nose. I want to sock him again, but I have things I want him to know before I knock him out.
"I went crazy you dumbass. I had a girl die in my arms. I watched another get eaten. I was trapped in a small cave the middle of a snowstorm for three days, and I got so delusional that I started talking to you and my mother. I wasn't in my right mind when I killed most of those people."
I stop to take a breath. He opens his mouth to say something, but I'm not finished.
"And don't say a single thing about me playing Arowana. You know nothing about that. You have no idea how much I really liked her."
"Did you even keep the promise you made her?" he asks me, and I can tell by his voice that he doesn't think I did.
"Yes, I did. Her parents got a new house last month, they have enough to eat now, and her step-sister comes over to my house every day."
"How much money is Snow giving you for that?"
"You really think I'm a monster, don't you?" He doesn't answer me. "I'm not. I've done horrible things, but I am not a monster. I would give my life for that girl Rafe. I would die for her." And as I say it, I realize for the first time that it's true. I wouldn't have died for Arowana, I couldn't have made myself then, but now I'm realizing how important the people you care about truly are. If I was put in the arena now, and Annie was my partner, I would do everything in my power to keep her alive.
"Finnick, I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"No, you don't know anything about me." He tries to get me to make eye contact, but I won't let him.
"I know that you never let yourself appear weak, even if you're completely terrified. I know that you can make anyone laugh when they're about to cry, that you don't like anything more than jumping off the dock out by your old house, and that even though millions of girls have followed you since you were ten, that you haven't even had a real girlfriend yet because you know that none of them are real."
My knees start shaking in what might be relief, and even though I want to be mad at him, I can't quite manage it. I hate him so much for everything that he's assumed, for everything that he thought, but I can't be too mad because I know what he saw. I've seen it. I know exactly how horrible I looked.
"So are we good?" I ask him. He nods.
"Yeah, we are."
Rafe has to work after that, and I know that Annie is probably going to be at my house soon anyway, so I hustle home, but I already have plans to meet Rafe at the dock tomorrow to try and work things out. Even as I walk, my brain tries to sort out everything that just happened, to figure out if I even want to be his friend after all that, but I know that I'll at least have to give it a chance. We'd been friends for eight years. It'd be stupid to let it go because of a couple fights.
Annie is waiting in my library when I walk into the house. A huge volume sits on her lap, and she's so engrossed in it that she doesn't even look at me. I look at her for a second and can't help but wonder when she started getting so beautiful. I have to mentally slap myself for thinking that, but the thoughts won't go away. Maybe it's just that the ugliness with Rafe would make anything seem more beautiful, but I know that it's more than that. I remember the realization that I would die for this girl. Maybe it's that.
"Sorry, I was taking care of some stuff," I tell Annie, and swing myself over the back of the couch into the spot beside her. She doesn't jump at all. Maybe she was paying more attention than I thought.
"That's fine. I don't mind reading."
"I figured that out by now," I joke, leaning over to see what book she's reading. It's about mermaids. It's somewhat ironic that she's reading about them, since sometimes I'd swear she probably belongs to the species.
"Hey, you're blocking my light," she says.
"Come on, you should put that thing away anyway. I want to go do something." Her eyes get huge and she gets an expression of over exaggerated shock on her face.
"Finnick Odair wants to do something? Wow. I don't think you've let me out of this house since the Victory Tour." I playfully punch her arm.
"You shouldn't joke about that. For all you know, I'm planning on keeping you locked in the basement so you can't get away from me." She laughs. My lips pull up into a smile when I hear the beautiful sound. That's one good thing about these past few months. I've gotten Annie to laugh.
"You don't have to do that. I'm not planning on leaving you anytime soon." My joking mood vanishes with those words.
"You can't know that. Not with the Games, not with laws that'll have you killed if you step out of line. There are so many things that can take you away from me. Please don't make promises you can't keep." She puts a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"Finnick, if I die, I will come back and haunt you. I swear to God that I'm not leaving you." I look into her fierce green eyes then, and relief washes over me when I realize that she's serious. I mean as much to her as she does to me, and she's never going to leave me, no matter what.
"Thank you," I whisper. Because after watching so many people die, after having my parents refuse to move in with me, and after Rafe turning his back on me for seven months, knowing that someone refuses to leave is the best kind of hope that you can get.