It's weird. Very weird. To Renji it's all very weird.
It's not kissing Shuuhei that's weird. Renji is almost surprised how naturally that comes. Knowing Shuuhei's enigmatic personality and Renji's more dynamic attitude, he had predicted that there would be more clashing between them. Maybe it's because they're still in that "honeymoon phase", although it feels like they've both known each other too long before this to have constructed false ideals of how the other is going to behave.
It's everything else that seems weird now. Going to work and talking to his coworkers and friends with the knowledge that they don't know that he's seeing another man that they're all familiar with behind closed doors. It's bizarre to see Shuuhei at work running errands through the Courts for Squad Nine and trying to keep the conscious effort not to treat him like they're together. On the other hand, Renji's not so sure he'd act all that different if he wasn't keeping that effort, but just the reminder that he's not supposed to weighs on his mind.
They've fallen into this pattern. Beforehand, Renji's days were filled with work and his nights with training and pestering his friends into taking his mind off training. Now Renji's days are full of work and his nights with Shuuhei. With a bit of training thrown in, regularly. The scarred man would show up in his quarters most nights after Renji got home and both would rapidly become busy. Busy in the making out sense.
Renji wasn't sure which one of them first made the unspoken decision to take it slow, but he was grateful for it. As embarrassing as it was to admit to himself, Renji's not sure how he'd be able to handle having sex with Shuuhei without it changing their dynamic. All of Renji's previous partners had gone to bed with him rather quickly, but his relationships rarely lasted long. It was nice to have something a little more consistent, even without getting laid. It was safe.
Sometimes, though, it's a little less than safe. That's not strictly a bad thing- not a bad thing at all. It's not bad when Renji takes his lunch break and wanders down the hall, wondering who to bother into joining him when a hand ducks out from the broom closet like a striking cobra, closing in a fist around his haori and yanking him back in.
Knocked off balance, Renji tripped and sent a few bottles of cleaning fluid off the shelves with a less-than-graceful sweep of his arm. His foot becomes caught in a bucket. Shuuhei, obscured in the dark all except for steel-slate eyes, laughs at his fumbling even as his arms make a beeline for the back of Renji's neck to pull him closer.
"You know, most people just send flowers when they miss someone." Renji grumbled, although he doesn't really mind when Shuuhei's lips attach themselves to his neck. Besides, he really should have known better with Shuuhei. Nowhere is safe from the man.
Truth is Renji will probably never stop being just a little bitter about how mislead he felt about Shuuhei's attitude the first two times they kissed. From Shuuhei's shyness and the way he reacted made Renji believe that Shuuhei would consistently be the demure one in the relationship, and Renji the dominant. And yet, apparently all it took was some gentle provocation to bring out the more demanding side of Shuuhei.
Shuuhei ran his tongue over Renji's neck, prodding with it at a sore spot where Shuuhei had left his calling card the previous evening, the clever little shit. It's very lucky for Renji that everyone thinks he still only likes girls, otherwise he'd be getting a lot more questions about the teeth marks appearing on his skin. People don't push too much when he shrugs it off, and that's the part that kind of stings. Does Renji seem like the kind of guy to hook up with random girls and not be seen in public with them? It must be worse for Shuuhei, who already had quite the track record going with the female population of Seireitei and Renji has been kindly reminded for the majority of his life that he is not exactly subtle nor is he a gentle creature.
Shuuhei's still necking him. The dark-haired man has a fascination with Renji's neck bordering on an obsession. Renji's no nun himself, though. Renji's never thought of himself as the possessive type, but he'd been much more alert when it comes to watching Shuuhei's back.
By which he means Shuuhei's ass.
It's a very nice ass, Renji can admit. His hands traveled down from grasping at Shuuhei's back to his butt, covering his groping by using the position to press their bodies closer together. The move was rather transparent though, if Shuuhei's deep chuckle between laps at Renji's throat were anything to go by.
Something tugs at the folds of Renji's haori and he gasps, but only because Shuuhei's hand is freezing and it wasn't exactly a sauna in the broom closet in the first place. He can feel Shuuhei's smirk on his neck, but before Renji can protest that Shuuhei isn't as alluring as he seems to think he is another hand is drifting down the expanse of Renji's belly and suddenly his clothes feel very uncomfortable.
Fingers stroke Renji's inner thighs through his hakama as Shuuhei gives Renji an ironically innocent smooch on the mouth to muffle the moan that would have slipped out if left unattended. Unconsciously, Renji's hands on the seat of Shuuhei's hakama tighten in a squeeze.
Shuuhei pulled away from Renji's lips to growl in a throaty voice, "If your fingers leave bruises on my ass, I will not apologize for kicking the shit out of yours."
"Can't help it." Renji whined, his thigh twitching a little at Shuuhei's touch. "You're not exactly helpin- oh!"
They've done a pretty good job keeping business above the belt, getting used to each other in the physical sense. It's not like Renji can't help that it's maybe more than a little odd to make out with someone you had associated with purely platonic feelings for so long. Renji has taken the time familiarized himself with Shuuhei's lips, his mouth and face and the spots on his chest where he's the most ticklish and he's been comfortable with that. It's as if they've been re-introducing themselves to each other and that's kind of exciting just by itself.
Now Shuuhei's palm was introducing itself to Renji's crotch, and yes it seems things are getting very familiar down there. A bold move, Renji grudgingly admitted. Not wanting to be completely outdone, Renji tried to take possession of Shuuhei in another kiss. He falters in focus, instead choking out a barely-restrained groan into Shuuhei's ear. That's certainly some grip Shuuhei has.
Renji jerks his hips, pressing himself into Shuuhei's hand. He goes in for lip contact again, and is rewarded by frantic kisses to prove that Renji's not the only one getting excited. Heat grows under the fabric of his fundoshi as the pressure becomes more rhythmic, more intense as the movements are drifting closer into relatively uncharted waters. Another moan, although neither can be sure which one made it, echoes through the broom closet.
"I'm sure I felt Shuuhei's spiritual pressure around here, somewhere!"
Both men freeze, locked in a kiss but all of the arousal in the situation gone. Two sets of eyes look in terror at the closed door to the broom closet as they simultaneously try to reign in their spiritual pressure and make their presence scarce.
"Perhaps it's not such a good idea to bother Hisagi-san during office hours, Rangiku." Momo's voice chimes in, "If he's not hanging around he's probably busy in the Ninth or at the publishing office."
The sound of Rangiku's honey-sweet laughter rings from outside the hallway. "Don't worry a bit about it! Shuuhei always helps me with my paperwork this time of day."
"It's not really 'helping' if he's the only one doing it…"
"Ah, what does it matter? He never complains anyways. I'm sure he's skulking around here somewhere!"
At the sound of footsteps drawing closer to their hiding spot, Shuuhei's hand involuntarily squeezed around Renji's member. Renji hissed, barely audibly, and gives Shuuhei a poisonous glare. Shuuhei frowned guiltily at him, but looks back anxiously at the door.
"Oh, Shuuuuuhei!" Rangiku called again in a sing-song voice, "Where aaaaare you? God, he's been so flighty, recently! What's gotten into him?"
Momo giggled at the older woman, "Maybe he just got tired of your teasing him all the time."
"Oh, please. He loves my teasing!"
Mentally, Renji snorted and tells Rangiku to keep believing that. Renji liked Rangiku, he really does, but her presence around Shuuhei had being getting progressively more difficult to process while avoiding a twinge of irritation.
The footsteps are much louder now, and a shadow appears to halve the sliver of light poking in from under the door. The only exit was blocked with Shuuhei and Renji trapped in the closet. Somewhere, the gods of irony are laughing at them.
A pause. For a minute, there's no sound except for the beating of Renji's heart in his ears. Shuuhei next to him doesn't make a sound, but in the darkness Renji can see the barely visible rise and fall of Shuuhei's chest with each silent breath, the nervous bob of his Adam's apple up and down his throat when he swallows.
The shadow doesn't move, but shifts as if Rangiku is looking around and considering where her friend could have vanished too. Hinamori adds "Maybe he's gone to lunch early?"
Rangiku sounds unconvinced, "Yeah, maybe. I wouldn't be surprised if Abarai's swooped in and stolen him out from under his own nose. Thank God those two get each other out of the office."
"He'd spend less time in it if he wasn't doing your work." Hinamori's voice points out, "You can catch up with him later."
Finally, Rangiku's feet moved from in front of the broom closet, shuffling further down the hall. Another shadow passes more briefly that must be Momo. Only when their combined footfalls become more distant does Renji risk a sigh of relief. Sharing in Renji's reprieve, Shuuhei slumped his head against Renji's chest, his hand going to his face to cover an embarrassed smile.
That was as good a sign as any that this party should be moved to a more disclosed location. With no small amount of reluctance, Renji's hand fumbled for the doorknob behind him, attempting to open it discreetly.
It would have gone off without a hitch, save for the bucket still caught on Renji's foot. It clattered angrily as he stumbled around it, tripping Renji up that he goes down hard like a smooth motherfucker licking the floor. Discreetly.
Shuuhei pokes his head out of the door after him, though whether to help Renji back up or to point and laugh at him is undisclosed because at that moment a surprisingly close voice says "Did you hear that?"
In a panic, Renji's hand roughly finds Shuuhei's face and shoved him backward back into the closet, which gets slammed closed after him, only slightly muffling the sound of Shuuhei falling backward onto a rack of mops. Renji will undoubtedly be paying for that later.
Still attached to his foot, the bucket clanged in protest. At once Renji set about the task of kicking it off, but was cut off from his work by a questioning voice.
"Abarai-kun?"
The bucket makes a lopsided-sounding sound as Renji totters around to see a suspicious Momo and an amused Rangiku regarding him.
"Uh, hey!" Renji says, confidently putting his hands on his hips as he continued to try to shake his foot free.
Rangiku covers the smirk on her lips with her fingers as her eyes go to the offending footwear. "So is there a reason you have a bucket on your foot, or is this another bold new fashion statement you're sporting?"
"Oh, what? This thing?" Renji comments casually with a dismissive wave of his hand, finally succeeding in dislodging the bucket from his foot. "Uh, well it's… cleaning day at the Sixth Division and Captain wanted someone to mop the floors, except we didn't have a bucket! I came to borrow one except I tripped. Stupid me!"
Water-tight alibi right there. Has there ever been a smoother man than Abarai Renji? Perhaps, but he doubts it.
"Right, well." Rangiku comments, shaking off Renji's tale easily enough, "You are actually just the guy I wanted to talk to!"
"I am?" Renji asked. Oh God, she's not gonna ask him to do her paperwork, is she?
Momo rolls her eyes, politely coughing into her fist to get Rangiku's attention, "Really, perhaps you should just let it drop?"
"I can't! The curiosity is killing me!" Rangiku all but squeals. She knots a fist in Renji's sleeve and drags him down the hall, away from the broom closet and the probably very irate Shuuhei inside.
It's not like Renji has much of a choice in the matter, though, as he gets pulled down the hall and around the corner to find himself stuck between the curious gazes of the two women. Now that it's just the three of them, they adopt a much more scheming look, their eyes shifting like the most elusive of conspirators.
"So, Renji." Rangiku drawls, using his given name for emphasis. She leans against the wall next to him, looking very much the picture of cool and in control. She toys with her hair like the events around her are the least important thing in the world, giving Renji her brightest smile.
It's no wonder why so many men make idiots of themselves for Rangiku's attention. The woman was a born manipulator, sweet in all the right ways that makes people forget how clever she is, makes people want to smile and nod at everything she says. It's a good thing that the majority of Rangiku's little plots and pranks are relatively harmless, because she could press a knife into someone's hands and eight out of ten people would be powerless under her words.
But Renji can't afford to play games with her anymore, as a man with an incredibly personal secret. It's not so much that he doesn't trust Rangiku to be understanding, just that it's not in her nature to keep gossip under her hat. The woman probably has dirt on everybody in Soul Society, including Renji himself. He hasn't forgotten the infamous photo-shoot incident. That was a good look for Shuuhei, though. Renji wonders if he can find uniform again. Has Rangiku kept it? Where does she keep any of the stuff she seems to pull out of thin air? Where does she get them in the first place? These are the many things Renji doesn't know about Matsumoto Rangiku.
That's why her boobs are so big, he realizes. They're full of secrets.
She gives Renji a sultry look, although a blank expression is all Renji can return. "You know Shuuhei pretty well, don't you?"
She's on to them. She knows. Her breasts are reading his mind. Quick, think heterosexual thoughts!
"Uh, yeah. I guess." Renji responds. He notes that he is feeling especially eloquent and graceful today. Things after having a bucket stuck on your foot can only go uphill.
Momo shifts excitedly next to Rangiku. For all the talk she has of letting the mystery conversation drop, she's obviously excited as well. Her eyes are bright with curiosity, her eyebrows drawn up under her bangs in anticipation. "We noticed that Hisagi-san has been really elusive lately. He doesn't go out as much as he used to, and when we see him at work he actually seems like he's looking forward to leaving the office!"
Jeeze, that is kinda big. Workaholic Shuuhei being eager to clock out and go home is an anomaly of science. It's a little stupid, but Renji is actually kind of touched that Shuuhei looks forward to being with him so much.
But that can't be shared. The two women are looking at Renji for a response, but all he can offer is a "Really? I hadn't noticed."
"Yeah, I'm sure." Rangiku chuckles, folding her arms under her ample cleavage, "So what we wanted to ask you is-"
Here it comes. Kiss secrecy goodbye, say hello to awkward explanation.
"-Did Shuuhei get a girlfriend?"
Oh. Or that.
"Huh?" Renji stammers. His shoulders lock in surprise and he answers maybe a little too quickly, "No! Of course not!"
"'Of course not'? What do you mean 'of course not'?" Rangiku demanded, setting her hands about her hips.
Renji rubs the back of his neck anxiously, trying to keep a straight face and not make eye contact with her at the same time. "Well, I mean- I didn't mean to say that he couldn't get one if he wanted to, just…"
Rangiku looks at him critically. She's going to put it together, with her devious little mind and secret-carrying boobs, he knows it.
"Rangiku, I think he means because Hisagi-san's too interested in you to chase after other women." Momo helpfully chimes in. Sweet, oblivious Momo.
Rangiku huffs at the statement, pouting a little. "Well, duh! Everybody knows that!"
That shouldn't get Renji's heart to race a little. Everybody knew Shuuhei had it for Rangiku, even Renji knew! He just kind of, well, figured that after he and Shuuhei got together his feelings for the blond lieutenant would kind of just go away.
A delicate finger prods pursed lips considerately. Rangiku hums, "I'm still not so sure that he's not interested in somebody else, though. Maybe I should finally throw him a bone and ask him out to see how bad he's really fallen for this mystery-hussy."
The impulse to pull is go full over-protective mode as request that she does not do that, fuck no that is the thing that is the least okay and maybe throw a bit of a temper tantrum. He doesn't though, because he is a grown man. He'd never seriously consider doing that. That would be silly and dumb.
When they first got together, Shuuhei had said that they would have "no promises, no commitments". Renji interpreted this that the other man wanted to move slowly, but what if he meant something else entirely? Did that mean he wanted to see other people as well?
Renji couldn't be okay with that. He just did not think he could actually deal with having to share the person Shuuhei was becoming to him. Especially if he had to compete with Rangiku for Shuuhei's attention, a fight that Renji would doubtlessly lose. But what if Shuuhei stayed with him, but had been wanting Rangiku all along? Renji hated the thought of being second best, but to consider he might be a consolation prize for Rangiku's affections put a gaping void in Renji's chest like a hollow hole.
Not to mention that Shuuhei would probably drop Renji like dirty laundry the second Rangiku blinked in his direction. Renji wouldn't blame him. He'd do the same thing if he had to date himself.
"Am I done here?" Renji asked, surprised at the bitterness in his own voice.
Rangiku noticed as well, mouth drawn into a thin line in surprise. Momo blushed, apparently not having noticed Renji's scathing tone. "Sorry, Abarai-kun. We didn't mean to hold you up or anything."
"S'okay. I've got nothing to look forward to but, y'know, that division cleaning-thing. You guys know where to find me."
Rangiku cast him a suspicious look as he left, pausing only to continue chatting with Momo as Renji shuffled back down the hallway. He still had a Shuuhei in the closet to attend to, assuming the other vice-captain had not yet already gotten impatient and fled.