Shuuhei was still waiting for Renji, curious as to where the girls had whisked him off to. After being (rudely) tossed back into the broom closet, Shuuhei had attempted to press his ear to the door until he could no longer hear their conversation or their footsteps.

Huffing a little at his predicament, Shuuhei kicked open the closet door. He looked down the hallway where the three had drifted off to, feeling more than a bit disappointed. It had seemed for a moment that Shuuhei was finally getting somewhere intimate with Renji, if only they had not been so unceremoniously interrupted.

Sighing, Shuuhei leaned back onto the wall as he waited, and he plotted. Renji's hesitancy about getting sexual caught him off guard, and Shuuhei could only reason that it was because he was waiting for Shuuhei to take the next step. It made sense, sort of. Renji had initiated both the first kiss and the relationship itself and now, like a game of chess, it had to be Shuuhei's move for the match to progress.

It wasn't like Renji could be avoiding sex. He couldn't be because according to popular tales among the lady shinigami doing so didn't fit Renji's profile, and Renji himself had bragged about his conquests when drinking before he started dating Shuuhei as the conversation always managed to turn just such. The only other excuse Shuuhei could consider was that Renji didn't find the him attractive enough to take to bed.

Which. was. ridiculous, of course, Shuuhei assured himself as he folded his arms defiantly against his thoughts. Shuuhei had always considered himself quite attractive, facial scars and tattoos aside. Sure, maybe not to someone who had only dated women before, but…

He didn't have to wait long, because Renji came back only a few minutes later looking anxious. They must have grilled him on Shuuhei's whereabouts.

Shuuhei gave Renji a sympathetic grin, "Sorry, about that. I'm just so popular I have to beat the ladies off me with a stick.

Renji snorted, giving Shuuhei a sarcastic roll of his eyes, "Yeah, or hide in the broom closet."

"Same difference." Shuuhei shrugged, "So I guess this kinda killed our mood didn't it?"

"Yeah, it was pretty much a terrible idea in the first place. On a scale of how likely we were to get interrupted from one to ten we rated a solid 'Throw Yourself on the Ground and Worship the Nearest Deity That No One Walked In."

Shuuhei playfully cuffed Renji on the arm, pouting in mock-offense. "It wasn't that bad! You certainly didn't seem to have a problem with it back there. From my perspective you were enjoying yourself, maybe getting a little excited, even?"

A tongue stuck out in Shuuhei's direction, blowing him a halfheartedly raspberry. Shuuhei had made the mistake of dating a nine-year-old in the body of a man.

"Don't you point that tongue at me," Shuuhei smirked in response, "unless you intend to use it, that is."

Shuuhei wasn't expecting the arm coming for his shoulders and could only answer in an alarmed, undignified squawk as he was pinned to a chuckling Renji's chest as a fist was rubbed into to his scalp. This was not a rare occurrence- noogies were things strictly reserved for children and immature grown men.

"Hey, uncalled for!" Shuuhei barked around Renji's arm, struggling against the redhead. "Quit messing up my hair."

"Your hair is stupid, just like your face." Renji answered, finally releasing Shuuhei, who shoved Renji away with one arm. Unrelenting, Renji ignored Shuuhei's pushing and reached over to run a hand through black spikey locks. "This is getting pretty long, you know?"

Shuuhei stopped struggling at the much gentler touch. Sure he had noticed his bangs falling into his eyes more frequently, but he didn't think it was that noticeable. "Oh yeah? I've been thinking about getting it cut, but you know the beautiful flowing tresses always worked so well for you I figured I'd give it a try."

At the snarking, Renji scowled. He reached over with both hands to muss up a protesting Shuuhei's hair. "You look like a shaggy dog!" He stated, "But I like it. Don't get it cut just yet."

Shuuhei batted his hands away, "You just want to make fun of me for having my hair longer like it was when we were in school!"

"Well it does make you look less old."

"Watch your mouth! I'm making you dinner tonight, and you should know never to backtalk a man who's going to be handling your food."

Renji looked taken aback by the sudden declaration, "Make me dinner? When did we decide that?"

"I decided that." Shuuhei announced, setting his hands on his hips, "Just now. You haven't eaten my cooking yet, which is already a grievous crime. Unless you have a better place to be, because I certainly don't. I've made dinner for all the people I've dated."

Something in Renji's expression changed at that last comment. Like a snap, a sudden shrinking of the pupil in those brown eyes before it cracked back to normal. "Oh yeah?"

"Very yeah." Shuuhei assures him with a slap to the shoulder before trotting away, "Now as fun as this little cascade of events has been, I gotta get back to work. Crunch time next week, you know, so I'm pretty much going to be holed up in that office for days on end to get the next issue of the paper out. Sometimes they bring me food and tea so they know I'm not dead. I'll see you tonight at your place, then?"

"Sounds good." Renji answers from behind him, but his voice sounds a little more distant.

But Shuuhei saw that, the flicker of doubt in Renji's eyes as if he were watching the gears churn in Renji's very mind. And the fact of which Shuuhei is certain of as he works through the rest of his day is that yep, Renji is either having second thoughts or he's going to turn into a clinger.

Shuuhei discovers that cooking for Renji is very rewarding. Shuuhei had always rated himself a pretty decent cook, nothing amazing or anything but certainly more adept than the rest of his very bachelor-istic friends. Eating Renji's takeout every night was good for the first week, but a diet of cheap restaurant food does not Shuuhei's diet properly make.

Renji had impatiently hovered over Shuuhei the entire time, hesitantly asking what he was doing every five minutes. Oh yes, Renji was definitely going to be a clinger. Going against popular opinion, Shuuhei didn't mind clingers so much. They can be very fulfilling to serve.

Renji emits a moan bordering on obscene when he stuffs another mouthful of the stew Shuuhei prepared to his mouth. It feels like Shuuhei has cheated somehow because it's not even an especially fancy or elaborate recipe, but Renji is lapping it up like it's ambrosia from the gods.

"Do you even know-" Renji says between mouthfuls, "-how long it has been since I've had a decent home-cooked meal that wasn't ladled with a heavy side-serving of guilt-tripping?"

"A while?" Shuuhei offers. He's long since given up trying to focus on his own food. He keeps noticing the way the meat hasn't truly been cooked just right, or his over use of celery in comparison to the other vegetables. He is his own worst critic. Besides, watching Renji is much more entertaining. Shuuhei leans in on his fist so he can watch the more heavily tattooed man scarf down his dinner.

"Try more like forever and a day! You're amazing. Let me kiss you, let me kiss you right on your stupid face!"

Renji temporarily abandons his food to reach for Shuuhei next to him, trapping him in a hug and pressing his lips to the scarred side of Shuuhei's cheek. He doesn't usually let people touch those, and normally people don't really try to so it works out. Renji doesn't seem to take any issue with them, however, so Shuuhei decides to make an exception for him.

Shuuhei rolls his eyes and half-heartedly bats Renji away with a demand for him to finish his dinner before it gets cold. Renji makes no complaint, turning back to his food with as much enthusiasm as if he'd never turned away from it. The whole scene, dinner and all, is oddly domestic for the two of them.

Shuuhei goes back to watching Renji, letting a lazy smile creep up his face. "Y'know, you're cute when you get irrationally excited by something."

Renji stops midway through raising the spoon to his mouth again to give Shuuhei a sharp glare. "I'm not cute. I'm the goddamn lieutenant of the Sixth Division."

"Nope." Shuuhei teased, "You're adorable."

"No one has ever called me adorable!" Renji protested, setting down his empty bowl, and there's already a blush heating up his face, "Not even when I was a little kid. No one ever says I'm cute and I'm too old for anyone to start."

"Shoosh, don't try to fight it." Shuuhei assures him, patting Renji's head, "Trust me, I know. I only date cute people."

That had meant to come out a lot more reassuring than Renji seems to have taken it. He gives the dark-haired lieutenant a hard look, not reacting when the pat to his head turns into a prodding poke to his cheek.

"What?"

"How come you always bring up your exes so much?" he asks candidly. Shuuhei wouldn't have expected any other tone from him, but he certainly wasn't expecting it in those words.

Shuuhei blinks at the sudden turnaround in conversation, "Huh? What do you mean? I don't 'always' do that!"

"You seem to do it an awful lot! It's not exactly encouraging conversation to hear you talk about all of the girls you've fucked." Renji counters, leaning back on his palms and stubbornly fixing his gaze in a corner of the room, not making eye contact with Shuuhei. His jaw is set firmly, his mouth twisted into a frown.

Shuuhei rolls his eyes as he rests his chin on his palm, "I knew it. Totally a clinger."

Renji stops glaring at the wall long enough to stare bullets at Shuuhei, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't turn his around on me- you know what? Fine, you want to talk serious? I can talk serious."

Renji's not expecting Shuuhei to push him over, but despite not being the tallest guy of his group of friends (or the second or the third), he's very strong. And a Renji off guard is easily bowled over onto his back, the perfect position for Shuuhei to climb over his and position himself sitting on Renji's stomach so he's straddling Renji's sides.

Renji looks up at him in shock but hasn't lost the glimmer of defiance in his face. "Get off."

"No." Shuuhei answers simply, "Now listen, you stupid bastard, because I'm going to say something extremely important and for once you are going to shut up and listen."

"Do you always sit on people when you say something important, because I think that would have been noticed by now."

Shuuhei is not so easily deterred, "Shush. Now you and I know we've dated other people. We've both slept with others, and dated almost exclusively people of the opposite gender. This isn't news. I can't go back and un-sex all of the people I've been with before, but that doesn't mean I think you're not important to me. The same should go vice-versa."

Renji has sat up enough that he can rest on his elbows, his expression is unreadable with his brow furrowed like that and his throat contracts as he swallows dryly. Shuuhei huffs a heavy exhale before leaning down to press a mild kiss to Renji's lips. They both taste like the dinner they just ate, but fortunately Shuuhei is a good cook.

"You matter to me, okay, you idiot?"

When he pulls away, Renji bites his lip like he's physically trying to hold himself back from blurting something out. Shuuhei hopes it's not puke. Getting thrown up on by your boyfriend once is more than enough.

It comes out, though, and it's not sick. "Rangiku's going to ask you out!"

Shuuhei's struck a little, speechless although he isn't sure why. "What?"

"She told me. It's not exactly a huge secret that you've got the hots for her so she's going to ask you out on a date. And, you know, with the whole 'no commitments' spiel you said when we started this whole racket between the two of us, you were kinda giving off signals that you would, well- yeah." Renji looks up at Shuuhei, chin set boldly and eyes fiery despite the fear wavering in his voice.

Shuuhei leans back a little, if only to spread his arms around himself as if he's gesturing to something obvious although he's not sure what he's trying to draw attention to. "Well of course I'm gonna tell her no!"

"But you've always liked her." Renji states matter-of-factly.

"Well yeah." Shuuhei admits, beginning to feel flustered, "But I like you now!"

"Sure, after you couldn't get her."

Shuuhei looks at the man underneath him critically, his mouth turning down to a lopsided frown. "Okay, I see your point. But I did choose you and I don't regret that decision."

"Now how can you possibly know that?"

"Well, that's just it. I can't." Shuuhei concedes. He swallows, feeling some heat creep into his cheeks. Oh God he's getting emotional, "Renji, I can't lie to you and say I know what our lives are going to be like years and decades and centuries in the future from now. I'm not like you, I can't decipher my own feelings and let people into them that easily but you have to believe that I am trying to! I am doing my best here and I'm not going to throw that away by running after someone else. "

Renji bites the inside of his cheek, falling back with a groan. Shuuhei's a little worried that this isn't the positive reaction he was hoping for, but Renji's hands come to rest on Shuuhei's knees familiarly. "This isn't going to get resolved tonight, is it? This is so lame of us. How did we get to be so lame so quickly?"

"Probably not. And I don't know." Shuuhei acknowledges. His hands come down to rest on top of Renji's, squeezing comfortingly. "I don't know how to convince you how I feel. So I'm just gonna have to stick by you until you believe me when I say I'm not going to go chase anyone else. I've got enough of a handful right here in front of me as it is."

"Do we have any other embarrassing personal issues to bring up, or is it only me being whiny here? Because it feels like I'm being the whiny one."

Well, live for the moment. "Why is it that you don't want to fuck me?"

Renji's eyes shoot open and he sits back up, knocking Shuuhei backwards slightly that he has to reaffirm his balance by spreading his palms against Renji's chest. "Where did that come from?"

Now it's Shuuhei's turn to be critical. He doesn't want to lash out at Renji after just hearing the younger man's insecurities, but now's as good a chance as any and he doesn't want to bite his tongue any longer. "You always said that you've had sex with all your other partners fairly early on, but it feels like I've had to drag you kicking and screaming just to the point where I can grope you through your pants."

Renji gives Shuuhei a hard are-you-kidding-me look and says obviously, "Oh come on, it's not the same."

"Well, why not?" Shuuhei prompts, accompanying his question with a squeeze to Renji's ribs with his knees. "Is it because you want to be dominant the first time around? Because that's not a problem for me. You don't have to worry about hurting my masculine pride or anything."

Renji smirks at the statement like he's considering the thought, but his voice is still serious. "It's not that I don't want to, I just… all the other people I've slept with- my relationships have always been pretty short. It feels like we should maybe, I dunno, stretch this one out? Make the most of it, even the less sexy parts. And I know," Renji hastily adds, seeing the narrowing of Shuuhei's eyes, "I know you're not going to go run off and jump out the window or whatever when we do fuck, it just, well, it feels like this is actually a real relationship. I kinda wanna do it the right way this time. You and I both deserve that much."

"You're not ready." Shuuhei summarizes plainly. Shuuhei suddenly feels like an asshole for being so impatient when it comes to getting into Renji's pants. Of course Renji wanted to take it slowly, it's not like they've got old age to worry about!

Renji scowls at the statement, baring his teeth a little and adopting an offended expression. "You say it like I'm some innocent little virgin."

"It's okay that you're not ready. You could have just said so."

"I am ready!" Renji protests, leaning his head forward so it knocks into Shuuhei's chest, "I am so totally ready! I'm an a-fucking-dult, I am always ready for sex."

"You're not ready."

Renji sighs into Shuuhei's shihakushō , "I'm not ready."

Despite himself, Shuuhei smiles at Renji's obstinacy. He brings up a hand to stroke Renji's face while the other one runs through the hair in his ponytail. Serenely, using the gentlest voice he can manage, he asks "I'm not getting laid tonight, am I?"

"No, you are not." Renji agrees, voice still muffled. "I am so far from aroused right now, my dick is limper than a dead fish."

"Charming."

"Sorry." Renji concedes, although whether it's for the lack of sex or the obscene dead fish metaphor Shuuhei isn't sure.

"It's okay. You don't have to apologize."

"You can still sleep in the bed, though."

"I appreciate that."

Sex still being a taboo subject does not, evidently, extend to kissing, or any of the other things that they were doing before all the awkward questions came up. The sleeping yukata that Shuuhei borrows from Renji is way too over-sized enough that it flops childishly over Shuuhei's fingertips, but he's already grown attached to it. It smells like Renji, musky and rich. The sheets do also, and the being surrounded by the scent feels so good when Renji kisses him goodnight before laying down beside him under the heavy covers.

Shuuhei feels arm wrap around him from behind, and let's himself snuggle back into Renji's chest.

"I have decided," Shuuhei announced, nuzzling his face into the pillow that also smells like Renji a bit, "I don't mind that you're not ready to have sex with me yet."

A little sleepily, Renji chuckles into Shuuhei's hair. "Am I supposed to be impressed by this? Geeze, make out with a guy in the broom closet once and you're on his roster forever."

"Basically, yeah." Shuuhei answered. "First I'm going to prove that I care about you enough that I don't want anyone else. Just you watch me."

"I believe you. And then I'll pay you back. You know I'm going to hold you to it when you said you wouldn't mind me topping, right?"

Shuuhei snorted derisively, "If you're so certain that you can, Mr. Dead Fish."

"How tired are you right now?"

"I am so tired." Shuuhei said around a yawn, flopping his head back against the pillow. Renji laughs again, deep and throaty. He leans over once more to press a wet kiss to the corner of Shuuhei's jaw before lying back down to envelope the scarred man in his arms and clinging as if for dear life.

"Goodnight, Shuuhei."