Author's note: Vast improvement in this fic credited entirely to my beta, namayani. May we bless you with great fanfiction with our powers combined.
Sidenote: 75000 words motherfucker and I'm still goin' strong.
The first time Renji woke up with Shuuhei in his arms, both muddy, freezing and clinging to each other for warmth, his first instinct was to get out of dodge and quick. Because not only was it (at the time) awkward and inappropriate, but also because he really didn't know how Shuuhei would act after waking up. He would have guessed Shuuhei would be cranky and fussy in the morning, but Renji was pleasantly surprised to find that the only thing Shuuhei woke up caring about was food.
With that in mind, Renji is much less fearful about prodding Shuuhei into consciousness. He shifts from underneath Shuuhei's arm across his chest and ankle hooked around his leg to sit up so he can look down on Shuuhei's sleeping form next to him. Renji watches the gentle rise and fall of the other man's chest. At the loss of Renji's warmth, Shuuhei's fingers twitch a little, childishly reaching for the comfort of his bedpartner.
"Shuuhei. Yo, Shuuhei." Renji says quietly, gently shaking the other man's shoulder. There's no use in being self-conscious about them both being naked at this point, so when the blanket slips a little off of Shuuhei's torso he doesn't bother with trying to right it. "Shuu. Lieutenant sixty-nine. The Amazing Shuuhei. Man Without Sleeves." He emphasizes each word with another nudge. "Dude, come on."
"Oh my gods, what is it?" Shuuhei groans, swatting in the direction of Renji's face. "Don't tell me you want more. I am only a man, Renji. A man in need of a recovery period."
Renji snorts, but smiles at the scarred man. "Good to know. I was actually going to warn you we have to go to work in like an hour."
"Goddammit. I have patrols today."
"Ha. Sucks to be you, doesn't it?" Renji retorts a little cheekily, poking at Shuuhei's face with one finger.
Shuuhei rolls his eyes, but doesn't move from his curled up position on the bed. "You laugh now, flame-head. Just wait and see how much fun you're having when you have to ask your captain for time off to go to a human highschool dance."
Groaning, Renji slips out from under the covers completely, doing a double-check on the sheets to see if they were damaged at all during their activities the previous night. "Really, are you mad about that? You're so hard to read sometimes."
"Naw." Shuuhei yawns, "I don't think I ever really was, if that makes any sense. I was more just irritated because stuff like this wouldn't even happen if we just told people we were together. But if we do that, everyone's gonna be all weird about it, I just know it. I could live for a little while longer without getting dirty looks every time I go to a pool or bathing house or anything."
Renji runs his fingers through Shuuhei's hair, ruffling the chaotic assortment of spikes. "Sorry about that, I guess. But get it. The idea of it kind of freaks me out too."
"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for." Shuuhei assures him, finally sitting up with what looks like painstaking effort and rubbing his eyes. "You're a hell of a cocksucker, by the way."
"Thanks, let me just put that on my resume; 'Abarai Renji- experienced Shinigami, proficient lieutenant, not bad in the blowjob department.'" Renji rolls off the bed, yanking the covers with him, ignoring the warbled protests of a drowsy Shuuhei. "Come on, up and at 'em. I'm going to use your shower and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop me!" He demands, leisurely taking in the naked form of Shuuhei struggling to claw back the blankets from Renji's arms. "If you finish crying for your blankie and behave, I might even let you join me."
"I'm going to fucking smother you with a pillow. This is the worst post-coital talk ever." Shuuhei whines, but stands up to obediently follow Renji to the bathroom anyways.
Standard Shinigami's quarters have pretty crappy digs. One small kitchenette for dining, a miniscule living area that no one bothered to separate from/is completely merged with/at some undefinable point magically morphs into the bedroom area and a tiny bathroom complete with a shower built for one andone only. As it happens, many Seireitei training arenas are also equipped with bathhouses that come in handy after long, sweaty days of training and many soul reapers find them preferable to the showers in their own homes. The trade-off however, is a lack of privacy and the distance from from their quarters
As if happened, Shuuhei had long out-grown the units of standard shinigami. One of the perks of lieutenancy is an upgrade in habitat. It's nothing even remotely close to the private housing offered to captains, but it involves a nice bathroom and a shower that can fit both Renji and Shuuhei comfortably, which is an impressive feat by itself seeing neither of them are exactly small men.
As soon as they're both comfortably situated in the shower, Renji grabs the tap and turns it up as high as it will go before Shuuhei has the chance to adjust it. The only kind of shower worth taking is a boiling hot one, as far as Renji is concerned. Heaven comes in the form of the spray of hot water melting the tension out of his muscles, and he likes the slightly blurred outline of Shuuhei against the steam. Renji watches that same blurred outline stretch and let the water run off his skin, loosening long, lean muscles.
Renji reaches for Shuuhei's shampoo on the shower shelf. He snorts at the label.
"'Bird of Paradise Hair Wash- an explosion of sensual lavender and citrus scents complete with a luxurious, silky finish'."
"It was on discount," Shuuhei explains dully. "Plus it makes my hair look hot. You think this patented beauty just happens on its own?"
"I think I was deceived by your not telling me that your rebellious bad-boy look is the result of half-off shampoo clearly meant for women."
Shuuhei scowls, squirting a bottle of body wash at Renji in defiance and only pledging to drop the bottle when Renji threatens to poor soap into Shuuhei's eyes.
The plan was for both men to clean themselves and in that respect they succeeded. However, in the process of making efforts to clean themselves, it became more and more difficult to ignore each other's naked bodies. What starts with a few off-handed kiss turns into the discovery that the shower could very well be a suitable environment for more intimate activites altogether.
Renji moans into a kiss at the friction of his body against Shuuhei's under the hot spray of the shower. He's not hard, the smooth tempo of Shuuhei's movements and the heat of the water overhead are too relaxing to be arousing, but with a bit of time he could be well on the road.
Shuuhei grunts in frustration, pulling away suddenly and turning off the water. "We don't have time for this. We have to go to work. People will notice if we both arrive late at the same time. Stop distracting me by being so sexy."
"You know I can't help it." Renji quips, only a little bothered by Shuuhei's rapid change in gears, letting the last dribbles of soothingly hot water drip onto his head as he watches the scarred man frantically dries himself with a towel. By the time Renji has just wrapped a towel around his waist, Shuuhei is already back in the bedroom edging suspiciously around his closet, deeply engaged in the search for his clean clothing.
Watching Shuuhei potter around his bedroom naked is a surreal experience. Renji can't help but shake his head at the thought of how much his life has changed to the point where this event seems completely natural now, roughly running a towel over his hair. It's not a bad kind of surreal though, he notes as he peeks back up from under the towel to Shuuhei stooping over at just the right angle moving, pick up his shihakusho off the bottom of his closet. In fact it's pretty damn good, to say the very least.
Shuuhei glances back to Renji, straightening himself and putting a hand on his bare hip tenaciously. "You're staring, you pervert."
"Says the naked man in the room." Renji retorts smoothly, dropping the towel from his head to hang on his shoulders as he drifts towards his pile of discarded clothing from last night. There's a rustling of fabric as Renji shrugs his clothes on at a more leisurely pace in comparison to Shuuhei. Watching Shuuhei rush through his morning preparations, hastily adjusting his choker around his neck and methodically shoving objects off his nightstand and into his pockets, makes Renji miss those earlier moments when Shuuhei was still waking up, curled under the covers like a sleepy kitten.
"Those are my tabi." Renji points out only a little bitterly when Shuuhei finds/grabs a rolled up pair of his socks and starts slipping them over his own feet. Shuuhei shoots him a half-bemused look.
"Yeah, I noticed. Funny thing is I could've sworn I had a pair just like these, 'cept then they got puked on. Who was that again?" Shuuhei muses as he yanks the tabi over his ankles. "Gods, you've got some huge feet."
Renji slips the top of his uniform over his shoulders, fumbling with the knot of his obi. He turns to Shuuhei with a lecherous grin and waggles his eyebrows for effect. "You know what they say about guys with big feet? Although I guess now you've seen first-hand."
"Saw you panting like a bitch while I jerked you off?" Shuuhei snorts, ducking his head into the bathroom to pick at his hair. "Yeah, that was pretty great."
A smoldering glare is fired in Shuuhei's direction. "You caught me off guard. Plus, I couldn't hear myself over the sound of your ear-shattering moans when you got hot and bothered."
If Shuuhei can hear him from inside the bathroom, he does an excellent job of ignoring the comment.
Despite taking his good sweet time in getting dressed and tending to his sex-induced bedhead Renji manages to finish getting ready for work at about the same time as Shuuhei, thanks to the scarred man's insistence that a breakfast needed to be had before setting foot outside his room.
"Okay, so we both look like nothing out of the ordinary, right?" Shuuhei asks. The words try to come out smoothly, nonchalantly, but there's a nervous timbre to his voice. "Inconspicuous?"
Renji rolls his eyes as he readjusts his bandana. "Sorry, Shuu. I know I shoulda' told you this earlier, but all the people I sleep with develop hideous, ugly red hives arranged to say 'Renji was here' pointing towards their genitals. There is no cure."
"Oh no, I've been infected." Shuuhei says with a dramatic sigh. Quickly, he curls a fist into the front of Renji's uniform and pulls him forward until they're touching nose-to-nose with that smug smile that never fails to get Renji smiling in return. "Fulfill a dying man's wish and kiss me."
"I thought you said we had to go to work."
"One for the road." Shuuhei retorts, leaning in to press a wet kiss to Renji's lips. He pulls away just as fast, shooting Renji a salute as he drifts soundlessly towards the door.
He makes it about as far as sliding it open, looking out into the Ninth's living quarters' hallway and tenderly sliding the door back into place. "Renji, we've made a terrible mistake."
Renji lifts an eyebrow, trying not to show how perplexed and amused he is by Shuuhei's whirlwind of emotions. "Oh yeah?"
Shuuhei whips his head around, looking concerned. "Renji, there are people out there!"
"Well, yes, Shuuhei. They live here."
"Renji, you know they're going to see us, right?" Shuuhei presses, pointing an index finger back between Renji and himself with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, we can't just let them see you leaving my quarters. With me. Together. Can we?"
"Oh. Oh!" Renji realizes with sudden clarity. Not willing to let go of the good morning-after vibe he has going on though, he chooses to brush his rising insecurities off. "Well, we crash at each other's places all the time. You're probably being paranoid. Get moving, I have to grab my work stuff from my place at the Sixth's."
Renji bulldozes a reluctant Shuuhei into a walk out of the door and down the hall. They get a few odd looks from the other ranked officers of the Ninth on their way, although that's most likely attributed to the fact that Shuuhei is being shoved around as opposed to walking on his own. Renji pushes Shuuhei out of the quarters' building.
"There, was that so hard?"
"You're a prick." Shuuhei admonishes, but he shuffled forward anyway with a smile.
Renji finds himself a little reluctant to leave now, just when Shuuhei's finally relaxed again. Begrudgingly, he motions in the direction of the Sixth Division. "I guess I gotta get going, then. Good ole' Sixth needs the firm hand of its wonderful second-in-command."
"I'll walk there with you." Shuuhei volunteers, casually sticking his hands into his pockets.
Renji shakes his head. "You don't have to do that, you'll just end up farther away from your office than when you started!"
"Which is why I'll take the opportunity of my presence there to collect your report for next month's Seireitei Communications. Which, if I'm not yet mistaken, is overdue." Shuuhei criticizes with a sharp look.
"Overdue?" Renji says, trying to look as innocent and unaware as possible. "Why has it been a whole month already?"
Renji drops the act at the cutting look Shuuhei sends him. "Fine, fine! It's done, I just forgot to drop it off, I swear. We'll go get it right now."
On the territory of the Sixth Division, Renji leaves Shuuhei to mull outside while he quickly tears his desk apart to find the report he wrote for the paper. Shuuhei doesn't seem to mind all that much, fortunately. He's much more at ease in the gardens, visible released from his earlier tension.
The grounds of the Sixth have a tendency to do that to people—the whole division has this neatly kept but gracious atmosphere well worth its title as the unit of noble reason. Renji has never really bothered to appreciate the aesthetic appeal, as it continuously serves to only remind him of how misplaced he can feel in such a surrounding, but it seems to have a positive effect on Shuuhei.
Renji wonders if it would improve Shuuhei's mood if they stayed over at his place in the Sixth more often. Then again, Renji has a habit of finding this kind of environment pretty stressful himself. Maybe somewhere else?
A vision pops into Renji's mind of a sizable apartment, the scattered remnants of Renji and Shuuhei's individual property placed together with a sense of belonging. A home away from work for just the two of them.
Slightly startled for unknown reasons by the mental image, Renji shakes the picture free from his mind. He's jarred back into reality by Shuuhei ducking his head conspiratorially around the garden, checking for any oncoming shinigami. Renji gives his spiritual pressure a slight flex to confirm that there's currently no one around. Not unexpected, considering that as Captain Kuchiki's lieutenant, Renji is expected to arrive for work earlier than his subordinates. Jobs are hard.
Shuuhei leans up, aiming for Renji's mouth again but Renji interrupts him with a palm slapped over Shuuhei's mouth. "Hey, now! You already got your one for the road." He teases with a mischievous grin. "We also happen to be in public, in case you've forgotten."
A quick nip to Renji's hand and the limb gets pulled away. "I'm a selfish, selfish man."
"A monster." Renji agrees, giving in and craning his neck down to meet Shuuhei half-way for another kiss. A flash of familiar reiatsu bubbles up in corner of his senses, coming closer by the second. Renji straightens up in surprise and Shuuhei's face meets the fabric of the front of his uniform. "Shit, someone's coming! Hide your spiritual pressure!"
Following that announcement, Renji's immediate plan of action is a straight-arm to Shuuhei, who gets violently flung into a nearby cluster of bushes with only a parting "Again!? Really?"
Renji has come to know many instances in which he was grateful for his captain's presence. His last minute, change-of-heart assistance in Rukia's rescue, for example, or his split-second arrival in Huenco Mundo to take out the arrancar. Even after all they have been through they aren't close enough to be considered best friends, but in the end of the day Captain Kuchiki and Lieutenant Abarai are a good team and nothing can get in the way of that. They have developed a mutual respect for each other, worthy of a healthy rivalry.
Other times Renji doesn't feel even a little guilty for loathing Captain Kuchiki's habit of appearing randomly. This feeling of resentment was usually reserved for when Renji knew he was behind on paperwork or was in the middle of some poorly-thought-out act of public mischief or debauchery.
While Renji wouldn't consider kissing an act of neither mischief nor debauchery, he still tensed up when his noble captain strode through the Spartan yet sophisticated small garden in front of the Sixth's office. "Abarai, here for work on time? What a surprise. Regardless, its fortunate that I've caught you here."
"Caught?" Renji echoes before his brain can catch up with his mouth, an insincere grin plastered across his features. "Nothing to catch here, sir! Completely un-catchable. I mean, in the way that there's not anything to be caught anyways, obviously."
Renji could kick himself. Kick himself right in the ass. He's pretty sure Shuuhei is trying to do so from his hiding place in the bushes.
But Byakuya just regards him with a sort of placid patience and what might be a stifled sigh, like he wouldn't expect any other kind of behavior from his vice-captain. Honestly, that's a little more troubling. Renji isn't that weird on a regular basis, is he? "Yes, well. That fact aside, I wanted a word with you before work."
Renji isn't sure how to respond. He can't really imagine his captain going out of his way to conduct business outside of the workstation just for Renji's convenience. He responds with a curious "Oh yeah?"
"Evidently, Rukia has been searching for you. I'm being told that your presence is being requested in the human world yet again for a mission. Has another one of Kurosaki's friends been kidnapped?"
"Not this week, to my knowledge." Renji says, pausing to scratch his chin thoughtfully. Captain Kuchiki nods in evident understanding.
"She is looking for you right now. She assures me that she can provide some evidence of your usefulness in the field after you return. You have the rest of the day on leave, unless something should arise that requires your presence here." With his message duly delivered, he turns and takes his leave. If Renji didn't know better or thought his captain a more uncouth man, he would have thought he heard Byakuya mutter something that sounded suspiciously like a slight against Renji's luck.
Captain Kuchiki is kind of a weird guy, Renji thinks to himself for not the first time.
Renji lets Shuuhei trail back to the Ninth Division, grumbling that he didn't get his second goodbye-kiss. "Talk about a Captain-sized cockblock. Or a lipblock? Is lipblocking a thing?"
"You can hold out without my sexy mouth around for a few hours." Renji assures him, adding a slap to Shuuhei's butt for good measure as he shuffles past Renji.
"It's not that bad!" Rukia chastises, slapping Renji's hands way from the thing around his neck.
"Yes, it is!" Renji whines. His hands fumble around the tie, two fingers pulling at the complex not. "I can't breathe. Who decided it was fashionable to wear a noose in the material world, anyway?"
Rukia rolls her eyes, but stands on her tip-toes to help Renji out of the accursed article of clothing. "Ties are very popular among humans! Good for formal occasions. If you weren't such a fashion disaster you might be able to tell that."
Renji grunts, making a sour face at the smaller lieutenant. "Liking sunglasses does not make me a 'fashion disaster'! I'm just ahead of my time."
"I'm not sure you're ahead of anything." Rukia sighs, shaking her head. She turns back to the rack of men's shirts on display. Renji wasn't born blessed with the kind of stature that made borrowing other people's clothes easy. The only person who's clothes he could realistically fit into would be Sado's and that was a whole fashion statement not even Renji was willing to dip into. As such, a hastily planned shopping trip had been arranged. "You've got to find something to wear that fits the occasion. The dress code for teenagers at a dance is serious business. Like an actual grown-up shirt and pants and everything."
The malls in the real world are weird, and they kind of make Renji miss the smaller clothing stores in Soul Society. It feels like here everything is designed to be louder and bigger and make Renji's head hurt. He's kind of envious of the fact that Rukia has adapted to the scenery so well. Under Ichigo's tutelage, she flourished in the material world's environment. Even after spending the majority of her time back in Soul Society as lieutenant after the Winter War, she's much more at ease than Renji, flitting around the racks of dress-shirts in the edgy menswear store and disapprovingly announcing that nothing in this section of the display really matches Renji's colors. Renji doesn't even know what his colors are but apparently he has them and they are not matching.
Rukia eventually decides on what he'll be wearing. A black pair of dress pants get dumped into Renji's arms even though he's already tried them on and denounced them as being too tight.
"They're supposed to be like that." Rukia assures him gently. "Material world fashion is all about being slimming, you know? It's not like you're going to be wearing heavy hakama."
A white button-up shirt gets added to the ensemble. Fortunately it's nothing like Sado's assortment of button-up shirts, just plain and kind of formal-looking, if Renji had to guess on what they were meant to be. A shiny black belt and pair of leather shoes gets thrown at Renji and he finds himself pushed towards the cashier and out the door before he can really consider this nightmare of shopping that he has stumbled into.
Renji had already resigned himself to his fate of shopping for Rukia's outfit even before they entered the mall. After all, what's a teenaged girl going to do before a dance other than fuss over her dress? It doesn't stop him from feeling awkward as he's planted in a chair off to the side as Rukia scans the rows of dresses, a chair that he's ninety-nine percent sure is meant for children while their mothers shop.
"So what exactly is my purpose here?" He asks, although he's pretty sure he already knows how Rukia is going to answer.
Rukia turns her back on him as she picks at the fabric of one of the dresses on display. "To be a masculine perspective on whatever outfit suits my beautiful self the best." She doesn't even have to turn around to know Renji is making a childish face at the ceiling in impending agony. "Don't be like that, jackass. It won't take long."
It's a lie. Rukia has to try on like fifty fucking dresses before she can even add a few to the "maybe" pile. Renji tries to be helpful, although he's affected by his own bias. Anything too provocative or that shows off too much skin is an instant thumbs down. It's not that Renji would judge a woman based on what she wears (he's friends with Rangiku, after all) but he's known Rukia since before visible cleavage and legs were even things that registered in his mind.
Women regard them approvingly as Rukia models her latest pick and Renji cautiously voices his opinion.
"It's very sweet of you to come here with your girlfriend." One lady with a shock of blond hair comments when Rukia ducks back into the changing room.
Renji responds without thinking, "She's not my girlfriend."
"Your sister then?" Her voice perks up, and with it her body language shifts suggestively as well. "That is so cute!" She leans in on the armrest of Renji's chair, displaying her sizable cleavage. She looks him up and down with sultry "come hither" eyes, and Renji is suddenly struck by how much those eyes look like Shuuhei's, and how that sexy, pouty look would look better on Shuuhei as he teases Renji about dead fish.
"No, just a friend."
"Oooooh." the lady says in one absurdly exaggerated breath, nodding her head in understanding. She immediately drifts off with her gaggle of friends, although not so far away that Renji can't hear her mutter "Gay." To her prowling shopping buddies.
There's a time and a place for revelations, and for Renji that time is evidently in a women's clothing shop being analyzed by a group of horny ladies while listening to Rukia's swears from inside the changing room. It sounds like Rukia is literally verbally swearing at the dress for not accommodating her lack of a bust, but that's aside the point.
Renji has had sex with Shuuhei. Renji has known Shuuhei intimately and romantically. There
was sex, sex happened and it was between Renji and Shuuhei. Sexually.
As much as Renji tries to tell himself it's not that big of a deal, that he's had sex plenty of times before and it wasn't even penetrative or anything, he knows it is. It wasn't even a "hey we're both sexy and horny let's do this" kind of sex. It was "I realize that we're both deeply invested in each other and we can express that physically and by doing this we realize we're taking our relationship to another level" sex.
Also Renji had a penis in his mouth. In his literal hundreds of years of existing that has only ever happened twice. It's kind of a big deal.
Renji certainly didn't mind giving Shuuhei a blowjob. If he's to be frankly honest with himself, Renji actually... kind of enjoyed it, even. That was interesting. Giving another guy oral for the first time sober, Renji would have found it typical of himself to be more squeamish about the whole thing. And while there was that moment of alarm where his brain went "Hey wait just a minute, this isn't a vagina!", he had no problem overcoming that and throwing himself into it.
Renji looked down at his shoes, trying to tune out the same women from earlier, who were now sharing hushed whispers. He looked up at them in time to see one of the ladies gesture vaguely in his direction before fixing his eyes back down on the carpet. The blond one had only assumed he was gay because he was shopping for women's clothes with his not-girlfriend/not-sister, right?
It wasn't like being with Shuuhei automatically made him homosexual, right? It wasn't every guy, after all! It was only Shuuhei.
Renji exasperatedly sighed to himself. If Shuuhei was maybe a bit more feminine, Renji wouldn't be having this issue. Stupid handsome, manly, conventionally attractive Shuuhei, with his stupid, sexy, masculine body.
Rukia finally decides on a dress. It's pretty and blue with lots of fancy lace and Renji feels something akin to fatherly pride at the fine young woman Rukia has become well up in his chest as he pretends to wipe a tear from his eye. He tells her so and Rukia punches him before retreating back into the changing room to put on her normal clothes.