A/N- Okay, I was just rereading Fishing For People, and I started missing Arowana, so I gave her a small role in this chapter. I hope it turned out okay. As always, thanx for reading, and I hope you enjoy the story. Thanx.

I'm pretty sure that it was talking about Arowana with Annie, even just those couple sentences, but that night, I can't sleep at all. It isn't even the usual self-loathing that kept me awake. It was a kind of sadness that had nothing to do with myself, but that creeped through my entire body, hurting me worse than any weapons could have.

I know, I'm positive, that if Arowana would have come back from the Games, that Annie wouldn't have been subjected to go. Not only that, but she wouldn't have messed everything up. I remember her, leaning against the cave wall, confessing that she didn't think she could kill anyone else, that she didn't want to turn into something she wasn't. She deserved to come back. I should've gave my life to get her back, because right now, I have this horrible feeling that I really, really need to see her again.

I hadn't thought about her, not really, for at least three years, so at first I think it'll just go away. But it doesn't. Three years can change everything. You can be forced to become a prostitute, you could have to watch your girlfriend fight to the death, and then you could have to fight through the fallout when she comes back. In three years.

That's probably why I stopped thinking about her. I was going through too much to contemplate anything else. But now, my brain rakes through every memory of her, desperately trying to bring back the images I'd pushed to the back of my mind.

It's scary when I realize all of the things that I can't remember. It's worse because the things that escape me are mostly good things. I can't remember what her smile looked like. I can't even remember if she ever did smile. I only knew her during what would've been the worst time of her life. I can't remember any details about what she looked like either, other than her eyes.

I do remember the bad things, though. The things that are seared in my memory, branded into my brain never to be removed. The worst, obviously, being every detail of her death. I remember catching a glimpse of the boy before he saw us. I remember opening my mouth to warn her, remember raising my spear to hit him. And I remember being a split second too late. The words dying in my throat as the knife left his hand, the spear reaching him just moments later. I remember her collapsing onto the ground, then rushing to her side. Her skin was ghostly pale, and I was panicking, wishing someone would send a damn parachute. They didn't, and she died in my arms, her last words a plea to help out her family, her little sister.

My heart starts throbbing in my chest, and I know that I need to get my mind off of that. Instead, I think of the only time we kissed. It wasn't real, not really. She'd pissed me off, maybe said something about my sister, but I jumped at her with a knife. That's when I realized I couldn't kill her, not then. I probably wouldn't have been able to anyway, if I would've had the chance to see. But that time, I lowered the knife, and kissed her instead. She didn't kiss me back. She jumped away and bitched me out for being a loser.

I sigh, getting this really dull ache in my chest. I love Annie, I do, but Arowana was different. Maybe it's because we were thrown together into the worst circumstances possible, that we went through all that together, that we trusted each other with our lives. Or maybe it's because Annie fell for me like every other girl. I know that it means more to her, that it's real, but I had to work so hard for Arowana.

If she was still alive, who would I have chosen?

Just knowing that I have to ask that kills me. What happened to this unconditional, unyielding love stuff that you always hear about. It isn't like that, not for me anyway. All it is right now is hurt and confusion and doubt. I love Annie. I think I loved Arowana. Now, with Annie here, my mind is trained on Arowana. Why? Like I said before, it's been years since I thought of her. She died five years ago, after I'd known her for less than a month.

But maybe that's why I want to see her so badly. I never got a chance to know her. There's so much that could've been and nothing that was. Sure, we fought a ton, but there was nothing horrible, not like Annie and me. So maybe since there's all this possibility that it could've been perfect, that I'm just wishing for it now, when so much is going on with me and Annie.

I guess it isn't a big deal why I'm trying to make myself even more depressed, the fact is that I am, and I need to stop. So I do the one thing that I can to take my mind off of Arowana. I go find Annie. The girl who's alive. Well, mostly.

I go for sneaking into her bedroom, since I don't want to wake up her mom. Again, not the smartest approach to take with a girl who's paranoid that people are coming to get her, but I go for it.

My first instinct is to throw pebbles or something, but then she might freak out and yell for her parents, so I decide just to climb in. The room is on the first story, which is a plus. A negative is the fact that it's locked, but that's only a temporary obstacle. I have experience with things like that, so I get it open easily.

Even though I'm silent, she starts stirring as I'm crawling through the window. I hurry through, getting over to her bed just as her eyes open in horror. She starts to scream, but I cover her mouth.

"It's me," I hiss. She doesn't calm down. "Finnick Odair? The guy who's spent the last few days with you?" Her body relaxes.

"Are you here to protect me?" she whispers.

"Nah, I want you to protect me."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you."

"I can't pro-"

"Annie," I interrupt. "Just be here, and you'll do fine."

"What am I protecting you from?" I smile.

"The past."

"How can that hurt you?"

"You're asking me?" I wonder if that's mean, or offensive or something. I wonder if she knows there's something wrong with her.

"Block it out," she says softly, "and it won't touch you." I sigh.

"What if there are some things back there you want to remember?"

"Like what?"

"I don't want to forget you." Everything else, however is a different story…. Or maybe not. I don't want to forget Arowana. Even though it hurts to think of her, I owe her too much to forget about her. Without her, I wouldn't have Annie, even though I've now gotten to the point where I'm debating who I should choose, like Arowana is an actual choice. That's actually creepy. If I lived in the Capitol and could get one of those doctors that check out your brain, I wonder what exactly he'd say about that. Hell, about anything I think. I'd probably drive him crazy just trying to figure it out.

"You shouldn't want that. They're coming for me, and if you're near, they'll get you too."

"Nah, if I'm near, I'll protect you."

"Sometimes, things can't be stopped." Then she does that thing again, where she gets panicky and sort of has an episode, talking to herself, her eyes looking everywhere.

"Calm down Annie, I'm here," I say.

"They're coming," is her only response. I calm her down, but by then she's done talking, so we just sit there in silence. Eventually, she falls asleep, but I stay. I lay down beside her and put my arm around her, then rest my head on the pillow, meaning to sit up and watch her. Instead, I end up falling asleep like that. My last thought as I drift off is that I'd take this, falling asleep with Annie in my arms, over sleeping with any other girl, no matter how beautiful they are.

Annie wakes me up early the next morning, luckily gently. I have expected her to freak out, but she doesn't.

"You stayed," she says. She doesn't sound thrilled, or mad. It sounds more like an observation than anything.

"Yeah, I did. I need you to protect me, remember?"

"And did I?" For the first time, I realize that I didn't have a single nightmare.

"Yeah, you actually did." I run a hand through my messy hair, then prop myself up on my elbow. "Thanks." The corners of her lips turn up, just slightly. Not a real smile, not by a long shot, but it makes me feel better.

"I don't know how I could have helped. I didn't do anything." I take her hand, glad when she doesn't jerk back. Usually, she has to be the one to touch me, or else she'll freak out. She's been better, but this feels different, more like when I used to hold her hand.

"All you had to do was be here."

"You shouldn't think like that. If you're by me, they'll hurt you."

"I have to stay by you, then, to protect you." She just smiles sadly and shakes her head, and I want to scream in frustration. She starts acting normal, then she'll talk about "them".

"You can't protect me from them. They'll just take you too."

"Who are they?" She cringes.

"The people." Then she gets up and starts pacing around her room, her eyes darting everywhere.

"Are you going to be okay?" I ask.

"They're going to get me, to get us."

"I'm here, don't worry." I can see tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Why won't they go away?" she shrieks. I back up, then climb into the windowsill. She whirls around. "You said you'd protect me."

"If your parents hear you, they'll kill me," I hiss. She's getting too loud. Sure, I feel guilty interrupting her tirade, telling her she's noisy, but I don't know what else to say. I'm not trained in dealing with people like this. I don't think my answer makes much of a difference anyway, because she goes right back into her episode, stomping her feet, pulling her hair, and screeching. I try to calm her from the windowsill, but it doesn't work very well, especially since I can't talk over her.

Then I hear a knock on the door, and an "Annie, are you okay?" I wave good-bye, even though I'm sure she doesn't see it, then I hop out of the windowsill and jog back to my house. I'll go back in a couple hours to see if she's better. For now, I'm just worried about keeping my mind busy. I want to keep Arowana out of my head, especially since Annie's making progress like she is. I can't let myself fall in love with her dead sister now, or anyone else for that matter. I love Annie, and even though it's hard to see now, when she comes back, I'll be glad I toughed this out.

I remember someone, maybe Mags, telling me that anything that's worth achieving, anything really special, is going to be hard. That's what makes it special, the work. If something is easy, then anyone could do it. So maybe all this stuff I'm working through with Annie, all these difficulties, are really going to make things better in the end, are going to eventually even out into something truly special. I close my eyes and try to picture that, letting the thin ray of hope I had earlier broaden, until I can taste everything I've been dreaming of.

I liked Arowana a lot, and she was special, but she's gone now. Eliza is beautiful, she's smart, and she's one of the few people who can understand me, but we don't love each other, and all those girls in the Capitol are obviously meaningless. Right now, Annie is the one girl that I can see myself with down the road, after everything evens out, after this huge war takes place and President Snow is taken out. Then we'll have this amazing life, then everything we've been through will finally pay off, and I can have a long, happy life with her and only her. Right now, the thought of that is enough to keep me going.

I decide to go to Mags' house, then. And without a word, I stroll in and hug her. She smiles at me, and I have to smile back, just a little. In that moment, with all this new hope shining down on me, and this person who's guided me through so much by my side, I get this tiny little whisper in my brain that says that it truly is a good thing to be alive. The feeling leaves after just a minute, once everything I'm going to face sets in, but then I remember the thought of the future after Snow, and peace washes over me. Maybe I can't be happy now, but I will be. After the War, when Annie and I can finally be together.