Chapter Two Joeys P.O.V.
Someone great once said If you love someone set them free, if they return they are yours forever, if they don't it wasn't meant to be. I never thought I would feel this way, this summer I've gone through so many emotions it's hard to keep track. First it was anger, angry for the way he treated me, angry that he left without facing the unfinished business between us, but mostly I was angry with myself for not noticing the problems sooner. Once I moved past the anger I was in denial. I denied that I was part of the problem; and that he was running away from me. Then slowly I began to accept everything. I knew that things were and still are far from over, that eventually we will have to face our past together. I accepted that whatever happened last spring was not my fault or even his. I felt extreme loss, deeper than any I had ever know before. I cried for what was lost, mine as well as his.
And now for the first time in my life I feel truly alone. Even when my mom died, and I realized she was going to miss so much of my life, it was okay because he was there for me. We might not have always been sparring partners, best friends, or lovers, but I always knew that no matter what he was there for me no questions asked. I know that he can't be here for me now, or even ever again unless we work through this.
Tomorrow I leave for what was supposed to be our new life together. We had so much too look forward to, and now it's all just a memory of what could have been. I gaze at the picture Dawson took of us at his parents holiday party last Christmas, and I wonder when it started to go wrong, and how come I didn't notice things were changing. My melancholy mood deepens as I am flooded with memories some good, some bad, and some from simpler times.
I look out the window into the night and wonder where he is, what he's doing, and if he ever thinks about me. I was so sure the love we had was the forever kind, and I just can't bring myself to believe that it's over between us. I need to hang on to the hope I have for brighter days and a lifetime of tomorrows.