A/N- Thanks for all the feedback, and thank you to anyone who favorited my story. I truly appreciate it that everyone has stuck with my stories this long. As always, any tips are appreciated.

Okay, you know all that hope that I was feeling? Well, it went away pretty damn quickly. A week after I snuck over to Annie's, I walk into my house and find an envelope. The paper is crisp and white, and it is sealed with blood red wax. My heart basically stops beating, and I sink to my knees, unable to even open the envelope. After everything, after surviving all of that, this happens. I'm only called to the Capitol two or three times a year, yet it has to be now that he sends for me.

What will Annie do when I'm gone? Will something happen, will she block out all of her memories again, forget me? And what about me? I know that no one in their right mind would consider me stable, and this is just going to make it worse. I have to stifle a sob, then I slowly get up and walk over to the table. The letter just sits there, glaring up at me. It seems like it'd be dangerous to touch it, like it's poison. From all the things I've heard about Snow, I wouldn't even doubt it.

I say a quick prayer, then grab it, only touching it with my fingertips. It's never been this hard before, because I've always known I'd make it through, come back home. Now, I have no way to ensure that. All I can do is hope that I can keep my head together long enough to get home.

I slide my finger under the seal, my heartbeat getting faster and faster with each second. A part of me clings to the hope that this isn't what I think it is, even though I know that it can't be true.

The seal breaks. I take the letter out, slowly unfold it. It smells like perfume, like all of his letters do. I know from experience that it's the scent of his roses, though. His office is clogged with the smell, and it clings to everything it touches. I've gotten in the habit of burning my clothes once I get back from the Capitol, because of the way that scent creeps into your head and messes with your mind. It's better to just get rid of it.

I focus on the letter, letting the words appear clearly before my eyes. I groan. I slam my fist on the table. I scream loud enough that it hurts, then I keep on screaming. I scream death threats, things that would get me killed if I wasn't Snow's "special" victor. I curse. I seethe. Then, when I can't scream anymore, I pace. Back and forth, back and forth. Trying to tell myself that I've done this before, that I can make it again. But I don't know if I can.

Once I'm done, I start packing my things. There isn't much to pack, since the Capitol provides everything. Just personal things, things that I don't want to leave behind. A picture of Rafe to remind me not to do anything stupid. One of Annie, to remind me why I go through everything. And the necklace that Rafe eventually made me keep, because it reminds me that there are things worse than this, that I could've been one of the twenty three tributes that didn't make it back.

Then, I go to see Rafe. I walk all the way over to his house, going as slowly as possible. He's going to kill me. He always lights into me, but this time is going to be worse, so much worse. I stop in front of his old house, then take a deep breath and knock. His youngest brother answers the door. He takes one look at me, then turns around and fills his lungs with air.

"Rafe!" he yells, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "Finnick's here!" Then he whirls around to face me again. "He's coming."

I find myself trying to smile at that as he grabs a wooden bat and starts chasing around another sibling, which I can only guess was what he was doing before I interrupted. Then Rafe walks to the door, and any thoughts I have of smiling fly out the window.

"What's up?" he asks. I shrug.

"Wanna go to the beach?" I ask. That basically means, "let's talk".

"Yeah, sure," he says, and his eyes immediately grow weary, his mouth twisting a little bit. He doesn't ask anything, though, knowing that I'll tell him eventually. He just leaves the house and follows me through the streets. Again, I don't exactly go at the speed of light, and he pushes me forward.

"I'm going," I finally tell him.

"Yeah, as fast as a snail. You know that I'm going to be pissed at you whether you tell me now or in ten minutes."

"What makes you think that I did something wrong?" He snorts.

"Finnick, you're looking at me like you're worried I'll beat the shit out of you any second." We step onto the sand of the beach, a hundred or so meters before the ocean starts.

"I kinda am," I admit.

"I'll only do it if you deserve it."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." He sighs.

"Shit, what in the hell did you fuck up now?" I train my eyes on the white sand.

"I've been invited to the Capitol again. I'm supposed to leave tomorrow." He curses.

"And just what are you going to do on this trip?" I swallow hard.

"Probably visit some friends," I choke out. He cusses louder. Several people look at us, then look away. People around here tend to treat my like I don't exist, since most of them are kind of ashamed of how I ruined my reputation. The rest just see Rafe, who's got to be at least 6'6 right now, and they get scared senseless.

"Why?" he asks. I shrug.

"I'm not good at saying no."

"Annie?" he asks. His voice is cracking He's getting pissed.

"She knows, she's cool with it. Or she was, before her Games. Now I'm not sure what's going to happen. I hope they don't broadcast my trip too much, or at least that they don't spread too many rumors.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not. It's all true." He raises his fist, like he's going to sock me, but he lowers it right away. He's a nice enough guy, I mean, he doesn't treat me like his punching bag or anything. Unless he knows that I need it. Now, he can tell that I know exactly what I'm doing, and that a fist to the face isn't going to change anything.

"I'm surprised those girls even want to touch you anymore. You're ugly as shit." Again, I shrug like I don't care. There's a difference between looking like shit and looking ugly. I still have my features, and my muscles haven't gone anywhere, seeing as I've been staying pretty active until the last three weeks or so. All that Sylvia is going to have to do when I make it to the Capitol is slap some makeup on and redo my hair, and I'll be as pretty as I was five years ago.

"God, I wish," I tell him. That earns me a look, but I don't, can't, elaborate. It's too risky.

"Yeah, that wasn't weird at all. You don't make any sense," he says.

"To myself, I do."

"But no one outside of Finnick-land does, and it's extremely annoying."

"Finnick-land? I like the sound of that. A special place for just me. With lots of cotton candy and lollipops, you know."

"Has anyone told you that you're crazy lately?" I roll my eyes.

"You, but I don't think anyone else has the guts."

"I wouldn't be surprised. But you're seriously going to the Capitol?"

"Yeah," I tell him.

"And you're going to going out, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"You asked me that already."

"And you gave me a shit answer."

"I can't give you anything other than that," I reply. He grits his teeth.

"Why are you doing this to Annie?"

"Sometimes, there are things you just have to do."

"Are you addicted?" Now it's my turn to grit my teeth. I've been handling this well, tossing everything he says back at him, but that hurts. Seriously, my best friend just called me a sex addict. That hurts. Bad.

"No, I'm not," I snap. He raises his hands in the air.

"Don't get mad. What else am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to trust me, to know me better than that." I shake my head. "God Rafe, I try to be a good person. I know it's unbelievable, but I don't like being the bad guy all the time." He looks away from me.

"I don't know what to think."

"Can we just quit talking about this? I'm going to the Capitol, and there's nothing you can do to stop me." He sighs.

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to." He isn't thrilled with that answer, but he gives up.

"Okay. Now you should go tell Annie good-bye, if you want to."

"Yeah, I guess I probably should."

"Bye Finnick."

"See ya." Then I leave him. I know I said I was going to Annie's, but I walk around a little bit longer, just to calm myself down. I hate talking about this, I hate it when even he judges me, and I hate that I feel like such a bad guy when this isn't my fault. It's the only thing that isn't, but it drives me nuts when the one thing I can be excused from is the one thing that everyone uses to judge me.

There's nothing I can do about it, though, so after I cool down a little, I go over to Annie's. Her father answers the door.

"Hello, Finnick," he says.

"Hey," I mumble, then brush past him, keeping my eyes on the floor the entire time. He retreats to his office as I head down the hallway. Annie's sitting on the couch, curled in a little ball, humming to herself.

"Did ya miss me, Annie?" I ask. She looks up, her lips curving into a small smile.

"A little," she admits. "But you're here now." I plop down on the couch beside her.

"Well, I hate to say it, but I won't be here long." Her face twists, like she just bit into a lemon.

"Why not?"

"I have to go on a trip."

"You have to?"

"Believe me, I have to." She sighs, then bites her lip.

"For how long?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe two weeks." I have to suppress a smile when she grabs my arm and holds on tight.

"That's too long. They'll come."

"Your parents are here, and so is Rafe. Do you want me to tell Rafe to come over?"

"He can't see them."

"But he'll be here." She shrugs.

"Maybe. I don't know."

"Well, you should figure it out. I leave tomorrow." Her grip on my arm tightens.

"Don't go." I bury my face in her hair, relieved when she doesn't move.

"I wish I wouldn't have to."

"But you'll come back."

"I wouldn't leave you, Annie," I say. She moves closer. It feels so good. I've missed being so close to her.

"What if they get you?" she asks. Oh, I'm sure that they'll get me. It just may not be the same "they" that Annie is referring to.

"If they even try, I'll make them regret it."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." She turns her head up and tries to meet my eyes, but I have to look away. Usually, I can at least meet Annie's games, but I know that I can't, not when I know what I'm going to do. It was different before, different when she understood, or even when I knew she could take it. Now, if she finds out, it's going to kill her.

"Well, then that's fine. Just be careful."

"I will be. And you too?" She nods. I don't want to leave, but it's getting dark outside, and Alva always come early. I sigh.

"I should go."

"Good-bye." I stare at her, wanting to kiss her so badly, but also knowing that I shouldn't. I settle for hugging her, then kissing her forehead.

"Good-bye Annie." Then I leave, ready to head off to the Capitol. I'm scared to death of going, but I know that there isn't anything I can do about it. I'm just going to get it done and over with, then come back home to Annie, to the girl the I do, that I really do love, and that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.