Chapter Fourteen - Joey's P.O.V.
Sitting in my little rowboat with the man I love rowing over to our mutual childhood sanctuary feels a little surreal right now. Nervous about how the news that we are back together again might affect the people I have always considered part of my family.
"So, Pace when was the last time you heard from Dawson?" I ask curious as to how the fence mending between the two previous best friends is going. This is the first time that I have openly asked him such a question. By mutual decision we have not discussed the topic of Dawson or the Leary's for fear that it would once again cause problems between us.
"Actually I haven't talked to him since I called him from Florida at the beginning of the summer. You?"
"Not since he left for California. I guess he's been busy, or something." I say, the hurt apparent in my voice, while Pacey knows about the kiss we shared before he left, he also knows there is nothing between us more than friendship. I can't help but feel like he has abandoned his friends.
"Jo, you know how Dawson gets when he's really into something new, or when he's been hurt. Give him some time." He says, his voice tender with understanding.
"I guess." I sigh heavily before smiling. "I can't wait to see Lilly though, she must be getting so big now. Bessie says that she is really cute."
"Yeah, I imagine she must have her parents wrapped around her little finger."
Reaching our destination I say "Well then let's go and say Hi, and get this over with." Climbing on to the Leary's dock staring at the house. He reaches for my hand as we head up the path. He smiles at me, pulling me close and kissing my forehead. He knows I'm nervous about telling the Leary's about us. I had asked Bessie not to say anything about us being back together, at the time it seemed like the best way to leave the past in the past.
"Jo, everything's going to be fine, you'll see." He says reassuring me.
"I know, I'm just a little nervous. But they need to know that there is no hope of Dawson and I ever getting back together, that my future lies with you."
He has tears in his eyes as he strokes my cheek, at hearing my declaration of love. Knocking on the door we can hear Lilly crying softly somewhere in the house. The door suddenly opens to reveal a very frazzled looking Gail.
"Joey, Pacey!" she says surprise in her voice. "Wow, this is a pleasant surprise. Joey, Bessie told me that you and the others would be back home for the holiday, but Pacey I wasn't expecting to see you. How are you?" she asks him smiling warmly.
"I'm good. Thanks."
Lilly chose that moment to let out a squeal. Gail realizing that we are still standing in the doorway moves aside to invite us in. "Come in, have a seat in the living room. Can I get either of you anything to drink? I was just making some tea."
"That would be nice." I reply, as Pacey nods his head in agreement "Let me take this angel for you, give you a couple of minutes rest."
"Thanks sweetie." She says handing Lilly over to me.
"Pace, look at how cute she is!" I say grinning at him. He comes over to where I stand rocking her gently. He strokes her chubby cheek with one finger and makes funny faces at her, of course she giggles at him. I smile and can't help thinking that he is going to be a wonderful father someday and I can't wait to see him with our own children.
"You want to hold her?" He just grins and takes her in his strong arms. Cradling her close to his heart.
"Here we are Gail says carrying a tray with three steaming mugs on it. So, what brings you by the house?"
"Well I wanted to come by and say Hi, see this gorgeous baby, and see how things are with you. I've missed you."
"Well things are good, the restaurant is insanely busy as Bodie and Bessie have probably told you. And this one is talking. As if on queue she looks up from Pacey's lap, points at Gail and says "Mama." Gail just smiles.
"Joey, tell me how is school?"
"Good, I love it. My classes are amazing. I'm on the deans list, but it's a lot of hard work."
"And Pacey what about you? What are you doing these days?"
"Well I'm living in Boston, working, I'm even taking some classes." He says being vague; he looks at me, his eyes asking me not to say anything more. I still think he should tell everyone about his scholarship.
"And are you two?" she asks indicating between us.
I smile widely, letting all my love for Pacey shine through. "Yes, we are back together. It's been almost three months now, and we are happier than ever."
"That's wonderful news. I'm so happy for both of you."
"Really? I wasn't to sure how you'd react?"
"Aww... Honey your happiness means as much to me as Dawson's and Lilly's. I know that your being together in the past hurt Dawson a lot, but the love you two share is so special. I, like your mother, have always believed that you and Pacey belong together. You are both so different, but at the same time so similar, you challenge each other; you are better versions of yourselves because of that love. Dawson's too much of a dreamer to ever end up with you Joey. He's my son and I love him; but he could never make you as happy as Pacey does. You have to let go of the past, and the guilt you feel regarding my son. Somewhere along the line Dawson decided that you two were soul mates; I don't know why he felt that way, but he was wrong. Be together; be happy. Follow your hearts and dreams. Sweetheart Dawson will survive."
With tears in my eyes, I hug her tightly. "Thank you Gail" I sob, before whispering, "I love you."
"I love you too." She says hugging me back.
We pull apart and I move to sit next to Pacey, he puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses me softly. I look up to see Gail smiling happily at us. We sit and talk for a while longer before saying our goodbyes, explaining that Bessie is expecting us for dinner.
"Promise you'll come visit again at Christmas, both of you. I'm sure Dawson would like to see you, he's been so busy this semester."
"We will Gail, we will." I assure her. With that we leave hand in hand heading back home to the B&B. Pacey rows back and we sit in silence, neither one of us is sure what to say. Pacey again moves to help me out of the boat and he ties it securely to its mooring. I just stand there watching him in silence. When he finishes he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. We stand and watch the creek flow by us for a while, simply enjoying each other and the moment. My heart feels heavy in my chest even though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders; a single tear escapes and runs down my cheek. Of course he notices this and comments on it.
"What is it Baby?"
"Nothing really, it just seems like all of the angst we created for ourselves back then was a monumental waste of time and energy. Gail's right you know."
"About what?"
"About us belonging together, and about Dawson never being able to make me happy. You once asked me when you get to be the person who knows me best, well Pace you are that person. Honestly I think you have been since that day when Dawson sent you to me, before all of this started. I was just too scared to admit it, too scared to admit what my heart was telling me. I turn in his arms and hold his face between my hands looking deeply into his eyes, he says nothing; just listening as I continue. Earlier today when you playing were with Lilly, holding her close to your heart; I looked at you and saw our children Pace. Sweetheart I was made to love you and if I never accomplish anything else in my life, it won't matter because you are my greatest accomplishment, and my true love. Everything else is insignificant in comparison."
"Josephine, I'll never know what great thing I did in the past to deserve you, but I thank god for you everyday. I love you, and I intend to prove it to you everyday for the rest of my life." He declares with unshed tears glistening in his eyes.
"Oh Pacey." I whisper before he crushes his lips against mine. I feel his warm tears fall against my cheeks and mixing with my own.
"So you two seem to be in awfully good moods tonight." Jen observes as we sit in front of a fire after a wonderful dinner.
"We had a good day Jen, let's just say that past demons have been laid to rest, finally." I say sleepily before yawning.
"Hey Pace, I think it's time you put sleeping beauty to bed." Jack teases from across the room.
"Jack, I'm not tired; just relaxed."
"Then how come you can barely keep your eyes open?"
"I'm relaxing!" I insist stifling another yawn.
"Baby, your exhausted! Go to bed, rest. You don't want to be sick next week do you?" Pacey asks, his concern for my well being resounding clearly in his strong voice. I know he's right, if I'm tired I should listen to my body and getting sick right before finals is not good. I look up at him over my shoulder and smile softly.
"Trying to get rid of me Pace?" I tease.
"Damn straight woman. I've got a hot date that I don't want you around for." He says winking at me.
Playing along I pout, and move to get up off the couch, "Well in that case, I think I will go to bed. I'm obviously not wanted here."
"Potter!" he growls at me sexily, I love it when he growls. "I always want you."
Leaning over to kiss him softly before saying good night to everyone else. Hugging him close to me I whisper "Come tuck me in, in a few." Pulling away I look into his eyes. "Goodnight sweetheart. Night guys." Standing I leave the room in search of my toothbrush and pajamas. I go to the small guest bathroom opposite my room to get ready for bed, realizing how tired I really am. A few minutes later Pacey knocks on my bedroom door softly before entering and climbing onto the bed next to me. He smiles at me in the lamplight and cups my face in his strong hands, memorizing my face.
"Pace, will you read to me?"
"Yeah, you want me to?" He asks indicating for me to pass him my book. I hand it to him and snuggle up to him, resting my head on his chest, I close my eyes and breath in his scent.
"It's marked." Is all I can mumble through my exhaustion; he finds the page and I soon drift off listening to the sound of his voice. I'm not sure how long I slept for but I wake up to discover that the house is dark and quiet except for the light shining softly beside my bed. I roll over to turn off the light and see Pacey sound asleep, book open on his chest. Gently I remove the book from his grasp, reach over and turn out the light, not having the heart to wake him and send him upstairs. Curling up against him, he stirs in his sleep, wraps his arms around me, and sighs. I quickly fall back to sleep, this time listening to his heart beat steadily in his chest.
"And what do we have here?" I hear an annoyed Bessie ask when she comes in the next morning to wake me up for breakfast. Groaning I look over to where she is standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. "Jo, I thought we agreed no sneaking into each others rooms at night?"
"Bessie I can explain." I stammer, instantly awake realizing that Pacey is still sleeping beside me.
"I'm sure you can, and will" she doesn't sound impressed. "I suggest you wake Price Charming and come get some breakfast." She says before turning and closing he door on her way back to the kitchen.
I groan again and bang my head against my pillow a couple of times.
"Jo, what are you doing in my bed?" a very sleepy voice asks from beside me.
"Actually Pace, you're in my bad; and Bessie's out there about to blow a fuse."
"Oh, okay." He grins, kissing my cheek before going back to sleep. Sighing I get up to go face my sister.
"Thanks a lot Pace." I grumble before following Bessie out to the kitchen. I look over at him one more time as I'm leaving and smile in spite of myself. He looks almost angelic, so peaceful and happy; a small smile on his lips, his hair rumpled from sleep.
"I love you!" I whisper closing the door quietly so as not to disturb him again.
"Okay Bessie, let me explain." I say walking into the kitchen.