A/N: Hey, guys! Sorry it's been so long! But I've recently started six new fics, and I'm trying to keep up with all of them. This chapter doesn't really advance the plot with the case, but it does move the other plots forward. For anyone who's been looking for some serious love triangles, your time has come. Things are going to start getting pretty complicated for Andy from here on out. As usual, read, review, and enjoy!
Chris was late for work. He wasn't always on time, but he wasn't ever this late. Forty five fucking minutes. Frank was gonna kill him when he got there. He had already missed Parade, and his bet was he'd be on desk duty for the day. But it wasn't entirely his fault. He'd had things to take care of at home.
Denise had forced him to sign the papers. She was getting custody of their son. They had worked it out, he would be allowed to visit once a month while Christian was young, and then twice a month when he got older. He'd had a rough morning. Maybe Frank would understand.
"Dias!" He turned to see Traci striding towards him. "You're on desk duty today. Or, if you can find someone to cover for you, you can come help me sort through some evidence."
"Uh, yeah, sure." He rubbed a hand over his face and headed into the locker room, grabbing his bag and dumping it into his locker. He paused, staring blankly into the metal and cloth inside his locker. Suddenly, he slammed it shut. She had no Goddamn right to take his son away from him. He was there. He was present. She could leave if she wanted, but she was not going to take his son with her.
Too bad he already signed the papers. He had been blindsided. She had set them down at breakfast and told him she was leaving. He knew that Christian wasn't going to have a stable caregiver if he spent all his time with him. He knew he couldn't provide the traditional household for his son, he knew that he'd have to work odd hours and hire babysitters, but he could love Christian. With all his heart.
Breathing out roughly, Chris left the locker room and began walking slowly through the hall towards Traci's office. He felt… numb. Like he had nothing left inside of him. He came to rest by Traci's desk.
"You ready to work, Chris?" She asked, glancing up at him as he continued to stare blankly at the wall in front of him. He nodded mutely, but didn't move or turn to face her. "Chris, is something going on?"
"What? Oh, um, no, everything is fine." He hoped she wouldn't notice his absent gaze. But he supposed it was a little too late for that when she arched a brow at him.
"Chris, we've been friends for four years now. I think I know when you're lying. You wanna tell me what's going on?" Chris stared at her for a long moment, slightly unsure of what to say, before he let out a deep breath and collapsed into a spinning chair beneath him.
"She took him," he said, spinning himself around and staring aimlessly up at the ceiling.
Traci watched him with wary eyes, confusion marring her forehead. "Who took who?"
"Denise took Christian. She made me sign the papers at breakfast. She's taking him to the suburbs on Friday. I get to see him once a month for a day. That's it. That's all I get to see of my son. One day every month. When he turns thirteen, it's two days every month."
She watched him with her eyebrows raised. That was one hell of a load to dump on someone at breakfast. Giving up your kid wasn't something that was easy to do. Especially not for someone with a heart as big as his. He had the biggest capacity for love of anyone she'd ever known. He didn't deserve this. "Why did you let her take him?" Okay, maybe she didn't word it as well as she could have, but she knew he wasn't going to take it that harshly.
"She made a good argument. She said it was going to be hard for me to give him a good foundation growing up, that I wouldn't be able to be there enough for him because of the odd hours that I would be working. It seemed like she had a good point at the time. But now I'm regretting it and I can't take it back." He buried his head in his hands, planting his elbows on the desk in front of him.
"You're right," she said after a moment of silence. "You can't take it back. But you can control how you feel about it, how you react to it. You can be late to work, you can sulk in the locker room, or you can do you job and prove to Denise that you would have done a damn good job taking care of Christian." She looked into his eyes, waiting for him to meet her gaze. After a loaded moment, he glanced up into her eyes. "You can be better than this, Chris. You can move past this. Think about it. You still get to be his father. You still get to see him. She's not suing for sole custody and she's not getting a restraining order. You can send cards, you can talk on the phone. This is not the end of the world."
Chris nodded, hearing her words. None of those words, however, made sense in his brain. But having the only single mother in 15 Division soothing him about Denise taking Christian was making him feel better, even if his brain couldn't comprehend the words yet.
"You think you're ready to work?" Traci looked him over carefully before asking, and he turned to her to nod. She eyed him one more time before nodding again and pulling up a stack of papers for them to review.
"Frank, what's going on with the loose ends from the undercover op?" Oliver poked his head in the door of Frank's office.
Frank glanced up, looking at one of his top T.O.s. It had been a while since he'd seen Oliver personally, and he almost missed the guy. Oliver was probably one of the closest friends he had and one of the men he admired most in the world. "What loose ends are you talking about?"
"You know, the gang Nick was involved with, Sam and Andy's jobs? What are we gonna do about them? Their disappearances must seem a bit weird to everyone left there, right?"
"Already taken care of." Frank waved his hand. "We made calls to the school to announce Andy's resignation, Sam up and leaving the store wasn't that unusual for them as far as quitting goes. And the gang is still our problem. We can't do a damn thing about that unless we can close this case for real."
Oliver nodded and backed out of the room. "Hey, Oliver!" He stepped back into the room, watching Frank expectantly. "How're things going at home?"
Oliver hesitated, a look of panic crossing his face momentarily, giving him away. He shook his head. "Things are going fine. Why?"
"Oliver, I know you're lying." Frank's eyebrows drew down in concern. "We've been friends for years. You can tell me what's going on."
Oliver waited for a few moments before closing his eyes and breathing out heavily. "I don't know what to do, Frank. I can't get back to them. I can't find a way to get back in there."
Frank eyed him as he buried his head in his hands. His friend looked utterly lost. "You can't get back to your family or your wife?"
"I don't know, what's the difference?"
"Well, is it that you can't get through to your wife, or that she won't let you see your daughters? Because Oliver, I know you don't love her anymore. But you love your kids. You love your girls, and if you're looking for a way back to your family, it's probably through your girls." Frank paused, eyeing Oliver. "You do want a relationship with them, right?"
Oliver shook his head. "At this point, I don't know. I don't know if it's worth it to continue to put my heart on the line like this and keep having it crushed."
"Oh, I know you didn't just say that. You have been given a gift, Oliver. You have beautiful daughters, and not everyone can say that. Anyone can be a father; it takes someone special to be a dad. You're a dad, Oliver. You're special. You can't give up on them. You can give up on your marriage, but you can't give up on your daughters."
The two men stared at each other across the desk in the office. Anyone looking into the glass room would assume they were discussing the recent fire. It had taken somewhat of a serious toll. The whole of 15 Division was on edge, constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop. There had to be another shoe.
"I don't know how to have a relationship with them without dealing with…" Oliver sighed. "I'm not good with the whole sharing my feelings thing. It took me until Andy was shot at to give her the speech I was supposed to give her on the first day. And she started to cry and I couldn't say anything else. I don't open up to people, even when there's something important on the line. I'm not sure how I can have a relationship with them and be there for them if I can't tell them how I feel."
"You could start by being there physically. If you show them that you can be around, that you aren't completely dedicated to your work, that you can be around, they might feel like they can come to you more often. And that's what you want, right? You want to be there in their lives?"
"Yeah, that's what I want." He took another moment with his head buried in his hands before standing back up and backing away from the table. "Thanks for the advice. I'll see what I can do. Oh, and Frank?" Frank glanced up at his old friend. "You can tell me anything, too. I'm not just going to be there for my girls, I want to be there for all of you, too. I almost consider Andy one of my girls, she and I talk about things so much. I still don't completely open up, but I'm a hell of a good listener."
Oliver smiled slightly and left the office.
Andy walked into 15 Division, humming to herself. She and Nick were in a really good place in their relationship. They were on the same pay emotionally, and now, after the night before, they were now on the same page sexually. She was just… satisfied was a really good word for it. She couldn't really call it happy; she wasn't sure what it meant to be truly happy. Well, she had felt something like it the night she and Sam had gotten together for the first time, but she had never had sustainable happiness. Satisfaction was about as close to happiness as she could get, so she'd take it.
She sighed into her coffee cup as she made her way towards Traci's office for the few minutes before Parade started. "Hey, Trace. What's going on?"
"Nothing much, going through some files. We haven't had many new developments in this gang case, so there hasn't been a whole hell of a lot for me to do. What about you? You're in a particularly happy mood."
No, not happy. But close. "Yeah, I guess. Nick and I had a… really great night last night."
Traci watched her friend critically for a moment before a look of recognition crossing her face and she jumped up to shut the door. "Oh my God!" She cried when the door was closed. "You and Nick had sex last night, didn't you?"
Andy could feel a bit of a blush creeping to her cheeks. She wasn't normally bashful about her sexual exploits, but something in Traci's tone made her feel like some part of the situation wasn't quite right. Nevertheless, she nodded.
"Well? How was it?" Andy looked at Traci in surprise, finding her friend eagerly awaiting a response.
Shrugging, she gave her the only one she could think of. "It was sweet."
"Sweet?"
"Yeah, I mean, it was slow and nice and… sweet." She shrugged again. Sure, the sex hadn't been mind-blowing, but it had been pretty damn good. And who seriously had mind-blowing sex on a regular basis? Damn good sex was better than crappy sex, or no sex, as she'd been having lately. "I liked it."
"Well, I'm glad." Her friend smiled and got up to open the door. "It's about damn time you had some decent satisfaction in your life. Now get out before Frank yells at us for being late to Parade."
The two women walked out of the office and began making their way toward the Parade room, when Sam stepped in their path. He eyed them for a moment, leaving Andy to raise her eyebrows and stare at him expectantly. "Yes, Sam?"
"Nash, can I borrow McNally for a moment?" Andy raised her eyebrows in shock at Sam, who met her gaze steadily.
Traci glanced between the two of them, gauging the moment and Andy's potential reaction to a moment alone with Sam. Hopefully her good mood from her night of sexcapades with Nick had her satisfied enough to deal with him. Andy sent Traci a tiny nod, who in turn, turned to Sam and said, "Yeah, of course. But you might want to hurry. Parade starts in four minutes."
Traci walked away, leaving Andy and Sam alone in the small hallway. She looked up into his face, awaiting his words. "What do you need, Sam?"
"I was actually hoping you and I could grab a bite to eat later. Maybe catch up a little."
She raised her eyebrows, curious. "You want to get dinner?"
"Dinner, lunch, a snack at the Penny before shift, whatever." He smiled a little. "I just want you back in my life. We were friends before everything happened between us. I was kind of hoping we could be friends again." Oh, he wanted to be friends. She knew it should make her happy. It was logical. They had been partners, friends, enjoyed spending time together. Even after everything, she probably trusted him more than she trusted anyone else in the world. But for some reason she couldn't fathom, those words left her feeling hollow inside.
"Uh, yeah, I guess. Sounds good." She smiled. "I guess I'll see you at the Penny later? We should really get to Parade before Frank has an aneurysm."
He grinned back at her. "Yeah, that might be a good idea. I don't want to deal with an angry Noelle this early in the morning."
She snorted. "You don't like dealing with angry women ever."
He smirked. "No one can blame me for that." Shaking her head, she led them into the Parade room. And almost ran right into Luke.
"Oh, hey, Luke. Sorry, I didn't see you there." She smiled politely and attempted to move past him, but he gently grabbed her upper arms to keep her in place.
"It's fine. I was actually hoping I could talk to you. Do you mind?"
She glanced back at Sam hesitantly, who appeared to the casual observer to be unaffected by the question. But she knew him better than that. There was a slight tension in his jaw, and his nostrils were flared the slightest bit. Something had set him off. Confused, she turned back to Luke. "Yeah. But after Parade. We're already about a minute late."
Luke nodded and the trio turned back into the Parade room. Twenty minutes later, Andy and Luke met in the break room. She poured herself a cup of coffee and turned to face him. "What's going on, Detective?"
"I was hoping I could ask you something." Ah, he wanted a favor. Of course. He was all cold and business most of the time, but when he wanted something, he was all soft and smiling. She really shouldn't be surprised, but somehow she always was.
"Yeah, go ahead." She took a sip of her coffee, trying to pretend she wasn't affected by his tone. But she was. For some reason she couldn't fathom, she always expected more out of him than he gave her. She expected him to be a friend, but in reality, he was just an ex who she happened to work with.
"I was hoping you'd like to get dinner with me sometime." What? What was going on with the men in her life today? First straight-laced Nick wanted to have hot shower sex before shift, and now two of her exes, her two most prolific exes, naturally, wanted to rekindle their previous friendship. What in the hell was going on?
"Uh, dinner? Where's the string?"
"No strings. Just dinner. Friends. That's what you've always wanted, right?" He looked sincere. She wanted to believe him, but she'd been asked for favors by Sam since they broke up, and she always gave in because she couldn't bring herself to say no to him and shut that door forever.
"Friends?" She rolled the word around in her mouth. Unlike with Sam, she and Luke hadn't really been friends before they went out. And they definitely hadn't been friends after he cheated on her during their engagement. And he had given her a ring that was meant for another woman. That wound still stung, knowing she was second to Jo in his mind. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to be friends anymore. But if he was offering an olive branch, she'd be an idiot not to accept it. Her life was complicated enough without Luke holding a grudge against her.
"Yeah, friends." He looked into her eyes for a moment, simply holding her gaze. "Believe me or not, I am sorry for everything that happened between us. I know that doesn't change anything, I know it doesn't make the feelings go away. But I am sorry, and you deserve to hear that."
He smiled softly and looked at the ground for a moment before glancing back up to her face. Her lovely face. "Let me know about dinner."
Andy watched him stride back down through the hallway to his office, thoroughly confused about where she stood with Luke and Sam for the first time in a very long while. At least before she had known there wasn't a chance anything was going to happen. But now there was the promise of friendship. And like it or not, she had never been good at being friends with the two of them.
"You two are sleeping together, aren't you?" Andy glanced up from her spinning chair in booking. Gail Peck stood in front of her, her face emotionless to the passive eye. But Andy knew Gail, and no matter how much she tried not to, she cared about the other woman. She knew the little signs in her face that indicated how much Nick moving on affected her. Her nostrils flared slightly, her lip trembled so minutely it merely appeared she was taking in a deep breath. Her eyebrows drew down close to her nose, a barely-there crease appearing above her nose.
"Yeah, we are." Andy wasn't sure what Gail wanted, but she couldn't see lying getting her anywhere. She had never wanted to hurt Gail, the other woman didn't deserve that, ice queen though she was. "Does that bother you?"
"No," Gail shook her head, speaking quietly. "But I don't want him hurt. I still love him, Andy. I know he feels with his whole heart. Every emotion he feels he puts everything in him behind. He doesn't reserve anything, he does' t put up walls. That means he hurts with his whole heart, too. If you hurt him, you'll ruin him." She glanced into Andy's eyes. "He's a good guy, McNally. He doesn't deserve that."
"I know he doesn't. I wasn't planning on hurting him."
"Good." Gail stepped back, putting physical and emotional distance between the women. "Just so you're aware, I've moved on. I have, um, I have someone else I'm interested in. I just… I still care about him, and I wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into. Now no one can say I didn't try."
Dov stepped into the room and Andy watched in amazement as Gail instantly tightened. Huh. So Dov was the one Gail had her eye on. Interesting. She'd known Dov had carried a torch for her for a while when they were rookies, but she though both of them had gotten past it all. Apparently not. "Gail, we need you for patrol. You, Chris, Nash, and I are headed back to all the crime scenes. There's gotta be something we've missed somewhere along the line. It's all connected somehow, but it just doesn't add up. we're missing pieces of the puzzle."
Gail glanced back at Andy before following Dov out of the room. Andy watched them go, wondering what the hell was in the water at 15 Division that day.