My Lucky Life (not)

Star's POV

I quickly ran out the front door towards my car. Was he really staring at me, I thought to myself? No he couldn't be I said finally, I'm not that much of a sight to look at. Even with my eyes, which people said was the only unique thing about me; I'm not really that attractive. Plus this was Paul Meraz we are talking about A.K.A. the hottest dude ever meaning that I had a better chance of getting a full scholarship to Harvard before Paul looked twice at me. Besides Paul only dates model thin girls who looked like they just won America's Next Top Model, there is no way that he would give me the time of day. I quickly drove home where my mom was waiting for me as soon as I opened the door.

"Why didn't you eat the food I left for you last night," she demanded suddenly.

"Yes I'm fine, thanks for asking," I replied sarcastically, avoiding the question that I knew she would eventually wedge out of me.

"I'm serious," she said using her I-mean-business-voice, "Why didn't you eat this food?"

"Because I wasn't hungry," I yelled and practically flung myself up to room in an attempt to make it to my room before she told me to come back down.

I hated lying to mom but it was sometimes necessary. The truth was I haven't eaten for the past three days and I really didn't plan on starting. How else was I suppose to lose weight? This bully for the past five weeks has been calling me fat. At first I didn't let it get to me but soon I was starting to see that he was right. I mean why else would I get rejected by almost every guy in the school. It hurt to know that just because I'm fat people hate me, I was already ala alone as it was I didn't need this added to my non-existent reputation. I got my diary from inside my pillow case and began to write.

Dear Diary,

Nothing really interesting happened today except for the fact that Pierce Bryans called me fat again. I'm used to it by now but it still hurts every time he says it. To make it worse his friend Chase tripped me so that I landed on the floor. My shoe fell unloose so I quickly bent down to tie it before I fell again and humiliate myself some more. God must really be trying to embarrass me because in that moment Paul Meraz came walking down flirting with this pretty new girl. She turned to leave, and sensing that Paul was watching her she started switching her hips from side to side. That just made it even worse. Paul must have been so mesmerized by the sight that he was given that he didn't no see me crouching down timing my shoe. In his defense it was probably my fault, he is a guy after all and she was clearly putting on a show for him: why not enjoy the view. Plus it was stupid of me to be tying my show in the middle. Well, as you can tell God must have been trying to humiliation me because in that moment Paul fell right on top of me. I know I should have been pissed at him but I was instead frozen with fear. Paul was known to having a really short temper and though I was never one of his victims I didn't want to stay and find out. I tried to run as fast as I could but it felt as if my feet were stuck to the ground, like it was my destiny to die of embarrassment. I froze and waited for the punishment that I knew was soon to come. After about ten second of quietness I finally got the courage to look up at him and when I did I was quite shocked.

He was staring like really staring at me, or at least I thought he was. He probably saw that cute girl he was talking to again or something because there was no way that he would even look twice at me let alone stare. Realization washed over me as I figured that the only reason he would look at me like that would be to bully me some more. He probably head one of his friends talking about some fat ugly girl and he wanted to meet me for himself. This hurt me to know that I was so horribly looking that people just have to stare at me. I know I'm not Miss Beauty Pageant or World's Skinniest Model but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm the most hideous thing out there. I Know that it would be wrong of me to get obsessed with a boy that I know nothing about but I hoped, wished prayed, that it was me who he glazing act because that would mean at least someone in this messed up world called my life actually cares about me.

I stared at the pages rereading the pages six times before I finally closed my diary and put it back inside my pillow case. I was starving and the smell of the spaghetti my mom was cooking was making my mouth water. One part of my brain told me that if I ate the food I would just burst and die eating too much, while the other more logical side was saying that I can eat the spaghetti and just run off the weight. In the end I decided that a couple hundred calories won't kill me and that I should just get a smaller serving size.