Author's note: wow, I got a lot of reviews and requests! Well, anyway, I'll try to do all of the requests! From now on, at the end of each chapter, I will have four characters for my dear readers to vote on via review. As soon as I get ten votes, I'll introduce the next character. Until then, you'll just hear about the other characters.

"Well, ehm, welcome to Brawl!" Master Hand tried his best to be friendly despite the fact that he and Zant had just had an extremely awkward interview, with Zant randomly spilling his deepest, darkest secrets (the nature of which Master Hand really didn't want to know), a lot of begging to be grouped in with Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf (even though he normally would be, Zant had brought the issue up so much that Master Hand was thinking about not grouping him with them), and some whining that everyone got a stage except for him. Master Hand had been ready to throw something, and that was before Zant began to do impressions of a dying cat (at least, that's what Master Hand thought of it).

"THANKS A LOT, BUT CAN I HAVE MY OWN STAGE? EVERYONE GETS A STAGE EXCEPT ME!" Zant whined.

"Can you name anyone in particular who does have a stage?" Master Hand asked, trying hard to resist his urge to fire some of his finger lasers at Zant.

"WELL… UMM… I ACTUALLY CAN'T!" Zant replied. "But there are enough for all of them to have one!"

"What a great segue into introductions," came a voice from the door.

"What?" asked Master Hand. The door suddenly banged open, and every single Brawler (or Smasher, depends on who was talking or who was being talked about) poured in to the thankfully large office that belonged to Master Hand.

"Well, as I was saying," came the voice, which proved to belong to the ever-helpful (and self-proclaimed leader of the Brawlers/Smashers) Mario, a short man wearing a red shirt and hat with bright blue overalls. "I might as well introduce you to all of the Smashers!"

"Brawlers!" came a voice from the crowd.

"Okay, fine, Brawlers. Or Smashers, whichever you guys would prefer," Mario corrected himself.

(Note here: this is a very long section, but do not skip over it. It provides vital information about the Brawlers/Smashers and their humorous elements in this story).

(Additionally, to Master Hand: I'd leave right now. As in, before Mario starts talking. He blatantly ignores the fact that you are the real leader of the Smashers or Brawlers).

Master Hand quickly got out of his chair and floated out before Mario could start talking.

"Well, anyway," Mario continued. "I'm Mario, leader of the Brawlers-OR SMASHERS!-but the Hands are legal guardians of sorts!"

"WAIT, IF YOU'RE MARIO, DON'T YOU SPEAK IN AN ITALIAN ACCENT?" asked Zant dubiously.

"NO! I'm absolutely sick of having to speak in an Italian accent every time I appear. I'm from BROOKLYN, not ITALY!" Mario announced to the world. Zant just nodded.

"Hi. I'm Luigi. I'm Mario's twin brother but for some reason, we don't look very similar- MARIO, THE CURTAIN JUST MOVED!" Luigi, who was taller and thinner than Mario and had a straighter mustache, ended his statement in a gasp and hid behind Mario.

"He's a bit… excitable," Mario mumbled to Zant as Luigi turned and jumped when he saw his own shadow. Zant then turned to face an extremely short man, about as wide as he was tall, with a ripped jean jacket, black clothes, and an aviator's cap and goggles. He had an extremely crooked mustache.

"WAH WAH WAH!" he shouted and ran as quickly as he could (trust me, not very fast) towards Zant. He leapt up and shook the Twili's hand. Zant, in the meantime, was extremely repulsed by the small man's extremely foul smell. He wondered why no one else was disgusted. Then, however, he saw the gas masks. Every Smasher/Brawler was wearing one, with the notable exception of Link.

"I'm Wario, and I can fly!" announced Wario. All of a sudden, everyone heard an extremely rude noise, and Wario shot up. He shot up so far, he hit the ceiling and passed out. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Link nervously stepped forward and handed Zant a gas mask.

"THANKS, LINK! I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW!" Zant shrieked and hugged Link extremely hard for the second time that day. Link gagged, then as soon as he was released, he bolted out, carrying Wario (and the bad smell) out.

"WHY DOESN'T LINK HAVE A GAS MASK?" Zant bellowed.

"He takes pleasure in his own pain," Zelda replied, removing her own gas mask wearily.

"POOR LINKY! MAYBE HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO CHEER HIM UP!" Zant burst into very loud tears.

"Come see me if you ever have a problem!" came a bright voice behind Mario. "I'm Dr. Mario, Mario's doctor personality. I'm the only doctor in the Mansion-oh, sorry, gotta go. Apparently Link and Wario met the Pink Nightmare on the way out." With that, Dr. Mario disappeared. Everyone else looked rather somber. Zant supposed that whatever the Pink Nightmare was, it wasn't good to meet it.

"MAMA LUIGI! Zanty doesn't know who the pink nightmare is!" came another voice. Zant realized that it was the large, green dinosaur that had been speaking. The dinosaur then proceeded to go over to the very embarrassed-looking Luigi and whine some more.

"That's Yoshi," Zelda explained. "He thinks Luigi is his Mama. Otherwise, he's rather normal. He sometimes even looks after the other kids. Well, then again, last time he looked after Kirby, Kirby went to the Med-Bay from eating a Smart Bomb that detonated in his stomach. Well, of course, Yoshi went to the Med-Bay himself, because of-oh, Nayru, Zant, RUN!"

Instead of running, Zant turned slowly around, as his mother had told him to do whenever he was face to face with a wild animal-and got the front of his robe abruptly sucked up in a vacuum. Wielding it was a princess. Not just any princess, but a blond princess with huge blue eyes, a pink dress, and a very dangerous expression.

"How in the name of BOWSER'S FORTRESS could you THINK of coming in here with so much DIRT on those clothes of yours?" she shouted, continuing to suck in the robe. Zant shrieked a her in response.

"RUN!" screamed everyone else and made themselves scarce, leaving Zant alone to face the terror of an angry princess with a vacuum. After about five minutes, she flounced out, leaving Zant's robe looking like it had been through a dryer. The rest of the Smashers or Brawlers quietly and nervously crept back into the office and stood around Zant, murmuring apologies.

"WHO WAS THAT?" Zant asked.

"Peach, also known as the Pink Nightmare," Zelda explained.

"ARE ALL OF YOU SCARED OF HER?" Zant asked.

"Hey, everyone!" Zelda shouted. "Would you rather meet Giga Bowser at level nine difficulty or Princess Peach in a dark alleyway at night?"

"Giga Bowser!" thundered everyone.

"What about you, Bowser?" Zelda asked to the one Brawler/Smasher who had remained silent, a large dinosaur-like turtle.

"Peach," the dinosaur-like turtle murmured dreamily. "I'm going to go out and mess up my room so she'll visit." With that, he stamped out with a sappy expression on his face.

"Yep, Bowser's crazy," Mario nodded. "The Pink Nightmare's already my girlfriend, first of all. Second, she'll kill him some time. He's been after her forever, though. He'd do better dating Ganondorf!"

"Yeah, he's been after Bowser for years," came a voice at Zelda's elbow. Zant turned to see a miniature Link with huge eyes.

"I should know," the boy added.

"Don't pay attention," Zelda mumbled to Zant. Then, she turned to the boy and shouted, "Shame on you, Toony. Link told me that Ganondorf's after King Dedede."
"Why does everyone think Link is so much better than me?" Toon Link asked angrily and ran off.

"That's Toon Link. He spreads rumors," Zelda explained. "Don't listen to him."
"WAIT," Zant stopped for a second. "IS GANONDORF REALLY-"
"Oh, my sweet puffball! Please be mine!" came a voice that Zant recognized as Ganondorf's.

"Are you screwing with me? Or us, rather?" came an angry voice. Zant looked off to the far reaches of the crowd, where two pink puffballs, one with huge green eyes, were face to face with Ganondorf.

"We honestly don't know. He could be after Kirby or Jigglypuff," Zelda replied.

All of a sudden, Zant felt a tap on his shoulder and wheeled around to face a girl dressed in what looked like medieval-style combat clothes. She had a sword in her belt, and appeared to have long, blue hair, in which a tiara sat.

"Hey," 'she' said in a voice that Zant realized was too deep for a girl.

"ARE YOU A BOY?" Zant asked.

"Yep," the 'girl' replied.

"OH. SORRY. I'M USED TO LINK," Zant turned pink beneath his helmet and wondered if all other swordsmen looked like girls, and if Link was just an anomaly.

"Well, anyway, I'm Marth," Marth smiled. "Also known as Manly Marth." He struck a pose and appeared to be trying to flex his arm muscles (though Zant didn't see any muscles) before walking off singing some song about being manly.
"HE'S NOT CALLED MANLY MARTH, IS HE?" Zant turned around and asked Zelda.

"Nope," she replied. "We actually call him 'Martha.'"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT HE'S ACTUALLY A HE? LOOKED LIKE A DEEP-VOICED GIRL TO ME!" announced Zant.

"Well, until Master Hand announced that he was, in fact, a boy, we just thought he was a flat-chested girl," Zelda replied.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT MASTER HAND ISN'T LYING?" Zant asked.

"We don't, actually," Zelda replied. Zant shrieked.

Suddenly, a sword that strangely reminded Zant of a NERF sword came sailing through the air and an overdramatic shout echoed through the hall. Suddenly, a pair of hands grasped the black hilt, and Zant found himself face-to-face with another medieval-looking swordsman with blue hair. However, he could plainly tell that this one was, in fact, a man.

"'Sup? I'm Ike. Awesome Ike. I'm the only one who can destroy Subspace Bombs in Subspace Emissary. I'm the most awesome resident of Smash Mansion as a result," the man didn't even bother being polite before introducing himself. After this rather abrupt and arrogant (not to mention rude) introduction, Ike began to tell stories about his greatness. At least, until Zelda hit him with Din's Fire and earned a KO, even though they weren't in Brawl.

"Remember," Zelda cautioned. "When asked who the most annoying character of SSBB is, it is not Pit (he is not even remotely annoying), Pikachu (he can only speak Pokémon but he's nice), or even the Ice Climbers (okay, fine, they're obnoxious), the most annoying character of Brawl is Ike. Well, at least he has one of the worst recovery moves in the game."

"SUCKS FOR HIM," Zant declared. "ARE THERE ANY MORE SWORDSMEN IN THE MANSION?"
His question was answered when a boy walked forward and stood face-to-face with Zant. He had bright red hair and was also a swordsman, though he looked to be only about fourteen. He stared at Zant in a rather searching, disquieting way for a moment before Zant felt awkward.
"UH, HI!" Zant shouted.

"Roy?" Zelda asked nervously. "Roy!"

"The voices are with you," Roy suddenly hissed to Zant, before abruptly walking away.

"HE'S AS CRAZY AS I AM! YAY!" shouted Zant. "ALL THOSE GUYS WERE!"

"Yes," Zelda looked rather weary. "The swordsmen from Fire Emblem all have problems."

"And no one's mentioned meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" came a wail. Zelda looked a little nervous as she led Zant over to where the wail was coming from. The crowd parted to show a small angel with brown hair, blue eyes, and white wings practically sailed through the crowd and ran up to meet them.

"No one loves me!" the angel shrieked. "They ignored me for SEVENTEEN YEARS! !"

"Pit, calm down. You're a fan favorite-" Zelda was interrupted by more plaintive wailing.

"How do you know that?" he cried and looked up at her shakily. "You've been in NEAR CONSTANT USE since you were created, Zelda! I was shoved off into the far corners of Nintendo Universe for SEVENTEEN YEARS!"

"Pit, it's alright-"

"NO ONE LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I think I'll just go and disappear for the rest of this fic," Pit finished with a sob and ran off crying noisily.

"Pit, come back- well, we'll see him at dinner," finished Zelda. "Now, c'mon, Zant. Let's go. Dinner is waiting."

"WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER BRAWLERS-OR SMASHERS?" Zant asked.

"Well, these characters will be the ones starring in the next few chapters alongside newcomers, so they're the most relevant," Zelda replied.

"EVERYONE'S GOT SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM EXCEPT YOU, IT SEEMS!" Zant finished.

"Well, I do have MPD-no I don't!" Zelda cried. "Of course I don't have MPD! Wait, I do, don't I?"

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN CRAZY THUS FAR?" Zant asked.

"Well, I've had years to practice being both Sheik, my male personality, and Zelda, my female personality. As a result, most of the insanity is beneath the surface," Zelda grinned, before frowning again. "Oh well, come on."

After Zant had eaten a satisfying dinner (and had met the other Smashers/Brawlers offscreen and learned that Mario was a pyromaniac, but was getting therapy) and was now snuggled in bed in Link's room (Link was in his own bed opposite of Zant, and was fuming), he began to hear the worst singing he'd ever heard.

"Oh, the is out for you and me, sweet Samus!" warbled a truly terrible-sounding voice outside. Zant looked out to see a massive dragon seemingly howling at the moon.

"Oh, my Samus, forget the and come join me out here!" the dragon continued to sing in its horrid voice.

"WHO IS THAT?" Zant asked Link, horrified.

"Ridley," Link replied. "Or rather, Meta Ridley. For some extremely insane reason, he got the hots for Samus after Subspace Emissary. Now, he is in love with her, his worst enemy."

Meta Ridley suddenly shrieked and doubled over.

"Oh, sweet Samus! I'll get more crotch armor before I attempt that!" he shouted and flew off, still doubled over. Link clapped and whistled at the very good-looking woman outside, who grinned and walked back in.

"I TAKE IT SHE DOESN'T RETURN THE FEELINGS."

"Yeah, she's sadistic anyway. She loves to hurt me with her whip! And I love getting hurt by the whip!"
"YOU SHOULD GO TO THERAPY! MAYBE WE COULD BE IN IT TOGETHER!"

"Go climb into a cabinet and die, Zant."

Author's note: Before you all say how much you hated this chapter, know that it is necessary. I have put a chart here of all the introduced characters and their issues. Every ten chapters, I'll do the same.

Master Hand: Control freak

Zant: must you ask?

Link: Self-harming

Zelda/Sheik (who made a cameo): MPD

Mario: Leader complex/issues with stereotypes/pyromaniac

Luigi: scared of everything

Wario: foul manners

Dr. Mario: unknown

Yoshi: Mama Luigi issues

Peach: Psycho

Bowser: In love with said psycho

Toon Link: Gossiper/Ignored

Ganondorf: Madly in love with one (or possibly both) of the puffballs/boundary issues
Kirby: Unknown

Jigglypuff: Unknown

Marth: Thinks he's manly

Ike: "I'm awesome" issues

Roy: Unclear, but there's definitely something wrong with him

Pit: Ignored/overly sensitive

Meta Ridley: Diva disorder/major boundary issues/is believed to misunderstand the word 'No'

Samus: Sadistic

And now, vote for your favorite character: Seth (Fire Emblem), Invader Zim (Invader Zim), Midna (Twilight Princess), Vaati (Minish Cap/Four Swords)