Zant's REAL FIRST BRAWL
Author's note: Okay, guys! As none of the characters won from the last tally, the tally is back. Also, I have split this chapter. At last, for awhile at least, this will have a plot.
Also, do you guys prefer hearing about brawls or just goings-on at Smash Mansion? Or both?
"Hi, Zant! Prepare to get your butt kicked!" Midna cried as she punched him. "I may have been just a helper last time, but this time, I'll exact revenge in the way that I see fit! Starting by creaming YOUR FACE! Anyway, did you see the latest Twilit sitcom? It was epic! I absolutely loved it!"
"Oh no," Zelda gasped. "Her issue is the fact that she is overtalkative, I think!" Even as she said that, Midna began jabbering about Chu jelly.
Zant gave a shriek of surprise as Midna used her down special move to transform.
"Ripoff!" shouted Zelda as imp Midna appeared. She immediately used her side special move to cause her hair to wrap around Zant and squeeze like a python, as she cheerfully began to talk about how Ilia was planning on coming and stalking Link. Eventually, she let go as Zant shot an energy ball at her, knocking her down. Using her special move, Midna rushed forwards and smacked him with a wave of Twilit energy. Zant used teleport to avoid her braids, then used his spin attack to know her off the cliff. However, she used her up special move (or recovery move) to teleport upwards and back onto the cliff, wrapping Zant in her braids again.
"She is ripping me off," whined Zelda over the intercom.
"I PWNZ YOU!" Midna screamed in purposeful bad grammar as she inflicted major amounts of damage on him.
"HELP ME!" Zant shrieked in reply. Master Hand decided to pity him and dropped in a Smash Ball aimed directly for him. Midna lunged for it, while Zant leapt upwards and tried to predict where it would go next. He failed miserably. Midna ended up unlocking the Smash ball. Pulling out the pieces of the fused shadow, Midna allowed them to fit onto her, then allowed herself to become the monstrous beast that the fused shadow transformed her into.
Zant was even more of a goner now. She scored a KO and won the match.
Roy's rampage: the beginning
Author's note: The only warning that I shall attach to this is that I am currently on a sugar high. And I just watched some kaiju flicks. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but it does now.
Right after the photo shoot, it was Twili Midna that floated out to greet her friends.
"Link! Zelda! How are you guys? It's been so long! I have so much to tell you!" Midna squealed and began to talk at 50 mph. Zant decided that now was ample opportunity to go and acquaint himself with some of the other Smashers. Entering the cafeteria, he found that it had been set up into a lounge of sorts. Many Smashers were now on their computers (except for Pit, who was rocking in his seat and crying, and Kirby, who kept eating the napkins). Eventually, being the nut that he was, he went to go hang out at one of the only tables with more than two places filled. There were four other occupants of the table: Marth (who was singing about how manly he was while admiring himself in the mirror), Ike (who was typing on his computer), Roy (who instantly stared at Zant in an extremely creepy way),and Mario (who had set his pasta on fire and was now laughing evilly).
"UH, HI GUYS!" Zant shouted.
"The voices told me that you're insane," Roy informed him in a serious manner before screaming like a three-year-old and complaining to thin air, "I don't care if you told me not to tell him, I wanted to! Don't hit me!"
"OKAY, THAT WAS A MISERABLE FAILURE!" Zant commented.
"Well, duh," came Zelda's voice behind them. Grinning, she slid into a chair next to Ike. "Who are you emailing, Ike?"
"My pen pal from the Godzilla fanbase," Ike replied. "Agrees that I am AWESOME! Says so about himself, come to think of it."
"Let's hope that Ike #2's not joining the brawl any time soon," Zelda said quietly to Zant, who giggled loudly.
"BURNING FIREEEEEEE!" Mario shrieked, laughing insanely.
"You need to have another therapy session with Dr. Mario, and soon," Zelda commented. "C'mon, Zant. Before-"
Suddenly, thunder echoed through the lounge. Lightning flashed. The lights dimmed. And no, Zelda12343 didn't appear like she did in to smash the ring. Instead, a huge, white glove appeared. Zant could instantly tell that it wasn't Master Hand. This one had a different feeling, and his fingers were twitching like mad.
"A-hay! I-ay ave-hay ome-cay o-tay et-gay ou-yay!" the hand shouted.
"-Crazy Hand comes. I'm so stupid," Zelda finished lamely.
"WHAT'S HE SAYING?" Zant asked.
"Ant-zay! Ou-yay o-day ot-nay peak-say ig-pay atin-lay?"
"Pig Latin," Zelda muttered. "Why did it have to be Pig Latin? Miyamoto must be pulling a joke on all of us."
"Miyamoto doesn't run the show here!" boomed a voice from the sky. "I do. But no one wants me to join the story. I'd screw it up, wouldn't I?"
All of the Smashers looked up in confusion except for Roy, who was screaming and attacking a nearby lamp, Ike, who was still on his laptop, emailing his pen pal, and Snake, who was sitting in a corner.
"Autocon," he muttered into his head piece. "I just figured out that Pit isn't the least paid-attention to character in Brawl."
"Who is it, Snake?" Autocon replied.
"ROY, IKE, AND SNAKE!" boomed the voice. All three stopped (well, Roy did with the shade on his head and the stalk of the lamp in his mouth, but only because he finished tearing into it).
"Okay, anyways, I wanted to introduce myself. I am the authoress' voice. I live in the Author Realm in the place known as fanfiction dot net." Gasps could be heard. "I may come and visit some day. If my friends the other authors want me to join you down there, I might. However, until then, just imagine me as a disembodied voice. I have a form, but no one is seeing it unless I join the brawl. Anyways, there are a few announcements that I want to make. Roy, I am not another illusion. I am the actual author."
Roy, by now, was lying on the ground, whimpering.
"You're an Xilian here to mind-control us! HELP!" Roy shrieked and clutched his ears. Ike looked a little embarrassed.
"Roy, if you please, no matter what you do, the cast list for Godzilla: Final Brawls is set in stone," the voice continued, not realizing that it would never get to tell everyone the announcements.
"That's the last time that I show him Godzilla: Final Wars," mumbled Ike. Suddenly, Roy stood up, leapt into the embarrassed Ike's lap, and started strangling him.
"HAHAHAHA! I'm under the control of the SPIRITS NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"
Ike turned blue and passed out. Roy shrieked evilly and dove for Marth, who was screaming like a girl.
"SAVE ME!" he howled and threw himself into the nearest girl's lap. The girl turned out to be none other than Peach.
"Sorry," he muttered, realizing that his head was now on her shoulder.
"KILL!" she screamed and knocked him off-
Straight into the open arms of Roy.
"GAHAHA! I WILL KILL YOUZZ!" Roy shouted.
"Elp-hay!" Crazy Hand bellowed and punched Roy.
"Okay, who gave Roy sugar?" Master Hand asked as Roy stood up, randomly decided to flash the entire population of Smash Mansion, then ran over to Midna and plastered his lips on her face.
"OH MY GOD!" shouted an angry Pokemon Trainer (who I named Kotu. He needs a name). "Stop hitting on her!" She's mine!"
"You're no better!" Marth grunted and tackled Kotu.
"We should get out of here. Now," Zelda muttered as Roy took his lips off Midna (who looked rather shocked) and grabbed a plate of fruit, flung it at Master Hand, then flipped him off and threw his sword at Link.
"PAIN!" Link shouted as the sword embedded itself in his chest.
"Link!" Samus cried.
"LINK!" Zant suddenly started crying hysterically.
"Don't throw that!" warned Dr. Mario as Roy scooped up a now swearing R.O.B (I don't feel like visiting Google translator right now, so you won't hear what he's saying). "It has to be sterilized first."
"SPIRITZ FTW!" Roy bellowed and randomly banged his head against a wall.
"Zant. We should go. Now. I'll get Samus and Link," Zelda muttered.
"WOULD YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I-"
"I love you too, Zant. Now get out."
Zant watched desperately as Roy barreled towards Zelda, who knocked him off with a scream and advanced to Link and Samus. Grabbing each one by the arm, Zelda dragged the two behind her as she teleported to the door. Zant met her there, Pikachu tagging along by means of sinking his teeth into Zant's shoulder and hanging off.
"I want to hurt him!" Samus shouted.
"Shut up. You'll get hurt," Zelda replied. "And Link already is. Now come on, Zant."
With that, the five Smashers ran into the control room and barricaded themselves inside when they heard a shrieking Roy come racing past them. They also heard the other Smashers making frantic attempts to barricade themselves in their rooms and in closets. Finally, they heard the dramatic shots of who could only be Peach and Ike, off to combat Roy.
"Great. Stuck in here with someone who's self-harming, a sadist, said sadist's pet and bodyguard, a psycho, and my own split personality. And no food. And nothing to do. And Link is injured," Zelda mumbled, her eyes glowing red. "And guess what? Who knows how long we'll be here? Whoop-de doo."
Link just sighed and examined his cut. He shoved his hand into his hat and, after a few seconds of rummaging, came up with a blue potion, which he gulped down with relish. About five seconds later, his cut healed.
"So that's why you didn't get scars the time that you threw yourself into the fire," Zelda commented.
"LINK!" Zant shouted and glomped him fan-girl style.
"Roy, get subdued… now…" Link moaned.
"Let's hope that the authoress doesn't send in the Skull Kid with Majora's mask on or something," Samus announced, pulled Pikachu off of Zant, and tossed him at Link.
"Whew. Zant, get off me," Link gently untangled Zant, who ran over to Zelda.
"Alright, guys. Now all we have to do is wait it out," she announced as another dramatic scream came from outside. Roy then shouted something unintelligible.
Author's note: Hey, sorry. What happened to a chapter or more a day? The answer: surprise holiday visits. I am so sorry, but I hope the introduction of a short plot makes it up. It's random, but enjoy it.
Personal chapter notes: So. It seems that Roy flipped out with the introduction of a mere two Smashers O_O. What's going to happen when more are introduced? Maybe more characters will flip. Also, Midna had only a really small part in this, but trust me, in this next plot, she'll be a key figure. And we find out that she's awfully talkative…
Okay, on Crazy Hand's Pig Latin… I didn't feel like using the shift key wrong for him like everyone else always does for him. So I just used Pig Latin.
Be on the lookout for the next chapter! It introduces more of the current crackish plot and how YOU can join in.
Current tally:
(As none of the characters won, I'll have this tally up again).
Vaati: 1 Zim:_ Krystal: 2 Daisy: 2