Jeremy; I'm not finished loving you.
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"I really don't want to do this."
Ignoring her friends anxious voice the brunette continued along the sidewalk, her heels clacking obnoxiously off the cement. "And I didn't want to go to that Mars Bar concert and yet you didn't hear me complaining."
Haley kept her eyes on Brooke's face, trying to see if she was joking. "Okay, first of all. It's 30 Seconds to Mars. And you know that. And second, you complained the whole time. 'My feet hurt, Oh my god this song is so depressing, is that a guy or a girl?' She mocked in a whiney impression.
Brooke shrugged in her 'I really don't care' way as she reached their destination. "Look, the point is, is that I did that for you, now you can do this for me."
"How is me getting a job helping you?" Haley asked, really not understanding her friends rationalising.
"Because, Miss-I-am-far-too-heart-broken-to-do-anything-other-than-mope-and-check-my-phone -every-five-seconds-" Her hazel eyes hardened as said girl went to interrupt her. "So by you working here, it will keep your mind off that-who by the way was never good enough for you in the first place. And by keeping your mind off it you will stop depressing me with your sad face." She pouted, squeezing the unimpressed looking brunette's cheeks in her palms. "I miss my Haley smiles."
Pulling her face from Brooke's manicured hands Haley looked around the music store, only finding a few people lingering down the isles. "This place is death."
"I know you feel the same." A voice quoted from behind the counter, making the two girls turn around.
"Excuse me?" Brooke asked, her 'I am Head Cheerleader Bitch' eyebrow raised.
"Deftones." Haley said, meeting the boys challenging grey eyes, having recited the lyrics herself.
"Album?"
"Diamond Eyes." She told him matter-of-factly and she watched as an impressed smirk curved his thin lips. "I'm here for the job." She pointed to the 'help wanted' sign taped to the cash register.
He squinted one eye and she thought he might be having a brain aneurysm. "I don't know why I care so much. When I shouldn't care at all."
It didn't take a second and she was smirking, a little meaner than she would have six months ago. "The Ataris, Your Boyfriend Sucks."
Brooke watched the two with no idea whatsoever what they were talking about.
"For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins-"
"We were merely freshmen." Haley cut him off, bored. "The Verve Pipe."
He grinned suddenly, his teeth taking up most of his face. "Chris Keller likes you. You've got the job."
.
.
"Okay, Chris Keller has seeing a lot of things in his twenty seven years, but I'm sure I've seen this before." He announced as he walked into the recording studio, surprised to find a very well dressed Haley James hunched over her guitar, writing furiously on a pad of paper. "Nope, I'm positive this is déjà vu."
Her eyes flashed upwards, her black eye-shadow had worn off, her mascara barely there. "Either tell me what you're talking about or go away."
He couldn't help but grin at the bite in her tone, he'd missed his old Haley James these past few days. "I'm talking about the last time I found you writing songs when you shouldn't have been." He explained, remembering just days after he gave her a job in his music store he had found her sitting at the counter, eyes completely focused on the words she was creating than the line of customers. "And it seems to me your muse is back in town."
Her nostrils flared angrily, an image of her best friend grinning devilishly in her mind. "What did Brooke say?"
Chris shrugged, settling himself onto the small stool across from her. "Not much. She just phoned me to ask if I had seeing you, and I said I hadn't then I asked why then she told me to mind my own business and then-"
"Chris."
He stopped, grinning sheepishly. "Nathan Scott, huh?"
She wanted to close her eyes but she was scared if she did she would remember his hot breath on her face, her skin on fire with his touch.
I've lived the past seven years without you and as selfish as it is I wont do it anymore
"Yeah." She breathed outwards, ignoring the thoughts swirling in her head, her hand itching to put them to paper. "And, hey, I am not inspired because of him." She told her opening act at his assumption.
Chris laughed. "Haley, you wrote a whole album of songs about a boy who broke your heart."
Haley twisted her tongue in her mouth, her fingers curling tighter around the neck of her guitar. "And?"
His chuckle was low this time. "And now you're writing songs about a boy who came back."
She wanted to tell Chris he was wrong. She was not sitting, surrounded by sheets of written words filled with more meaning than anyone could understand because of him.
I've lived the past seven years without you and as selfish as it is I wont do it anymore
But she couldn't.
"I have to go see Dean." Haley announced suddenly, standing up as she set her guitar down, her dark blue dress swishing against her legs.
"Haley." Chris caught her wrist lightly. "Your music's what's inside of you. It's who you are. And if somebody has the power to touch that, to inspire you to write a song, to create a melody, it means something." He uncurled her arm from his grasp when he was sure she wasn't going to carry on walking. "When have you ever written a song about Dean?"
She met his cloudy grey eyes and had to look away, it was as if he was tearing down all the walls she had created to see the truth.
"I have to go." Haley replied, pulling the tuxedo jacket around her shoulders as she walked out of the studio.
.
.
.
"Dean? Dean are you in-oh, hi." Haley smiled as she saw his back, his muscles moving beneath his white dress shirt but her lips pulled downwards as she saw what he was doing. "You're leaving?"
His shoulders tensed, faltering in his movements for a second. "My agent wants me in LA for an interview. I can't not be there." And he was shoving clothes into his holdall again.
She swallowed at the sudden dryness in her throat. "You're running away." She concluded, arms folded indignantly across her chest, letting the jacket Clayton had leant her slide from her shoulders.
Dean turned then, his emerald eyes alight with suppressed anger. "I have to go."
"No, you don't." Haley challenged, her legs moving her closer to him. "You're doing what you always do when something gets hard, you ignore it. You turn your back and pretend it's not happening."
"You mean when that jackass had his hands all over you?" He snapped, turning to face her fully as he remembered the image of Nathan Scott's hands sliding over his fiancés bare back..
Haley laughed without humour. "That's exactly what I mean, Dean. You just left, you didn't even try to tell him to back off."
Dean scoffed. "Like that would have made a difference."
"It would have." She came back with. "To me."
He closed his eyes and Haley could already see the fight draining from him. He stopped himself before it got too heated, like he always did. "I couldn't stay and watch you dance with him, Haley. I couldn't stand to see your eyes become alive as he touched you."
Haley's eyes widened in shock. "Dean-"
"I'm going to LA for a few days." He told her, the conversation ending. "I'll be back for your farewell concert and we can talk then."
Her jaw tightened, anger pulling at the cords in her neck. "Or we could just not talk."
Instead of fighting back with her he simply nodded, putting the strap of his bag over his shoulder as he walked towards her, brushing a soft kiss to her cheek.
And then he was closing her hotel door behind him.
She waited for the tears to come, for the ripping in her chest but it never did. She felt fine. That's how Dean made her feel, she realised. Fine.
Even after walking away and pretty much accepting she had just told him they were over she felt fine. She didn't feel like running after him, telling him she didn't mean it and she took it all back. She was fine.
Fighting with Dean was never the way it was with Nathan, she found herself thinking. The heated words shot like bullets back and forth, then they would reach a point and he would smirk and then she would laugh and it would be over. But sometimes, and she felt her temperature spike at the mere thought, he would be yelling in her face, or she his, their panting breath and hurtful words touching the others skin. And then all of a sudden he would cut her off with his lips, pushing her roughly against a wall or the nearest surface and they were clawing madly at the others clothes, fuelled by anger and passion.
But Dean wouldn't fight back and she hated it.
She hated how she missed those arguments. Missed the feel of Nathan's mouth firmly against her own, his hands everywhere, tongue roughly pushing past her lips to toy with hers.
And as she stood in the middle of her empty hotel room and felt herself shiver as she felt his touch, she realised that was her choice.
Comfort or passion. Warmth or burning. Green or blue. Reliable or exciting. Butterfly giving grins or knee weakening, heart-breaking smiles. White Prince or Black Knight.
She crawled into her large bed and sank under the covers, closing her eyes as her dress twisted around her hips uncomfortably but she didn't fix the material, too submerged in her thoughts. When she had first met Dean he was different to anything she had known. Well, he was utterly gorgeous to start with, deep green eyes, strong jaw - mostly always covered in rough stubble, broad shoulders, toned chest, cute bum. But more so it was the way he made her feel at ease, managed to calm her with a simple look. He could quietly work away on something and just be still. But as she pressed her face into her mattress she realised the only reason he always made her feel like that because he never riled her up, never made her pulse thump so fast she was scared it wold jump from her skin.
Nothing like Nathan, she realised, her thumb digging into the deep blue band around her torso.
He could never just be still, he always wanted to be doing something - apart from when they were in bed, he would just lie with her for hours, creating trails of heat across her skin with his fingertips. During tutoring his knee would constantly be jiggling, or if they were at a party he would start fidgeting, fingers toying with the belt loops on her jeans or her necklace.
I'm bored, he would whine, turning his big blue eyes onto her as she sat reading a book or typing at her computer. Do something, she would reply, never taking her eyes off the words. He would sigh. Like what? She would wave a disinterested hand, go play with Duke or basketball or something. He would smirk then, that sinfully sexy smirk that made the space between her thighs tingle. And then he would be kissing her and she would be letting him. Well I would, but I'd much rather be doing you
God he was corny, she thought but found the corners of her mouth turning upwards.
Jarred from her thoughts she was brought back to the present by the ringing of her cell-phone. She wanted to ignore it but she couldn't, so with a groan she fell to the floor, crawling over to her purse and retrieving her Blackberry. As she saw 'Brooke' flashing on the screen, accompanied by a picture of the both of them she felt a warmth seeping into her heart at the image of a grinning Brooke, her arms wrapped tightly around the taller brunettes shoulders as they were both laughing uncontrollably, having just fallen to the ground after having been messing around.
And that's when it hit her. She got that same feeling when she saw a photo of herself and Dean.
She loved him. She really did but if she got the same loving feeling in her stomach as she did when she looked at her best friend - she closed her eyes, that was her choice.
Love or in love.
.
.
.
"I screwed up." The lofty man sighed heavily, leaning his elbows on his knees as he put his head in his hands, pressing his palms against his face.
"Again." Clayton supplied, falling onto the large chair beside the couch. "What?" He asked when Nathan sent him a look that would have made a lesser man fall to his knees. "You did."
Nathan sighed again, pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead. Clay didn't bullshit, it was why he was friends with him. "I know, man. But I never knew how bad it was-"
"You left, Nate." Clayton cut him off, a beer hanging from his lifeless fingers.
"I know." He snapped. "But I never thought it would hurt her so bad."
"Why? Don't you remember what it did to you?"
Nathan glared, not wanting to remember the months without Haley. "Of course. But I just never - I never thought she felt the same way I did. And I know she told me she loved me." He announced as he saw Clay's large lips about to move. "But I just - God, I have never wanted or needed anything like her." He breathed heavily through his nose. "I was just scared that one day she would realise how much better she could do, that she deserved better and she would leave me. And I don't think I could have survived that."
Clayton kept quiet - Nathan wasn't a heart to heart kind of guy. He learned that the first time he had tried to get him to open up in college, the black eye he earned himself was enough to keep his mouth shut.
"When I was away I never felt at peace, never felt like I belonged." Nathan continued, more to himself than his blonde friend. "She's home." He realised, voice deep with meaning.
"That's where the heart is, man." Clayton quoted, tapping the opening of his beer bottle against his temple. "But don't you think you should be telling Haley all of this?"
Nathan's head lifted from his clasped hands then, his blue eyes suddenly alight.
"That's never good." Clayton mumbled at the grin forming on his face.
"Home is where the heart is, right?" Nathan stood up, his mind whirling far ahead from the large hotel suite he was currently occupying. "Well, my home is currently in New York."
.
.
"Do you know that I had to flirt my way up here?" Brooke announced, a hurt tone evident in her voice. "I mean, you would think they would know who I am." Turning to find the room empty, her eyes scanning over the large hump the covers made on the bed. "But seen as my best friend has been ignoring my calls I thought I better come over and make sure she's still breathing." She explained, pulling at the corner of the duvet to reveal her friend, curled on her side. "Oh and look, you've even got all your limbs."
Haley kept her eyes firmly closed, reaching blindly for her blanket. "Go away."
Brooke sighed as she yet again disappeared under the quilt. "Did you make up with Dean?"
If her eyes had been open she would have rolled them at Brooke's subtleness. "Does it look like I made up with Dean?" Came her muffled response, face smooshed against her soft mattress and as she felt herself sinking into it she thought about just lying there forever.
"No." Brooke ripped the duvet back, this time pulling it down past her bare feet. "It looks like you got into a fight."
Haley pressed her red stained lips together before finally admitting. "He left."
Brooke bit the inside of her cheek, willing her big mouth to stay shut for once in her life. "What did you fight about?" She never did had much self control.
"You." Haley's large eyes rolled upwards. "What do you think we fought about?"
"His low sex drive?" Brooke's husky laughed vibrated around the room as a large soft pillow swiftly slammed into her face. "Well it doesn't matter, because I am not letting you sit here and feel sorry for yourself."
"I am not feeling sorry for myself." Haley protested, moving her hips into the mattress to try and un-twist her dress.
Brooke raised a shapely eyebrow, hugging the pillow to her chest. "And I didn't lose my V card until I was twenty two."
Haley snorted.
"Let's do something." The fashion designer insisted, wrapping her slim fingers around the singers ankles. "I'm only here for a little over a week and I've spent most of it cooped up in my hotel with Julian. And I love the boy but God, there's only so much Grease 2 I can watch." Her hazel eyes caught the amusement flashing back in her friends. "Not a word."
Haley raised a hand, the side of her mouth lifting of it's own accord. "What do you want to do?"
.
.
.
"Are you sure this is what you wanna do?" Clayton asked, pushing himself from the wall he was leaning against to look out of the large window, the dry, grey streets bustling below them, people unaware they were being watched.
"Positive." Nathan replied.
Clay raised a large eyebrow. "It's a lot of money, man." He said, wishing he could take it back immediately at the glare he received in return. "I'm just saying, what if it doesn't go to plan? You've just thrown away thousands." He knew Nathan wasn't bothered about money, and to be honest, neither was he but he decided one of them had to be rational. And considering he was best friends with Nathan Scott, it was usually him.
"It's nothing compared to what I'll lose if I don't try."
Clayton grinned, slapping the younger mans broad back. "Nice to see you've finally got your head out of your ass."
Nathan smirked, rubbing his stubbled jaw as he turned around, making the thin nervous man look up from his blackberry and told him. "I'll take it."
.
.
.
"I don't think this can be called fun when its clearly a sneaky way to get you to exercise."
Haley rolled her eyes but found a grin pulling at her mouth. "Well, you did say you wanted the full New York experience." She shakily slid towards her friend who was clutching at the side of the rink for dear life. "And skating in Rockefeller Centre is something you have to do before you leave."
Brooke let out a shaky sigh, her breath curling in front of her face. "Apparently." She replied, her hazel eyes moving around the hardly busy ice rink.
Haley let out a small laugh and wrapped her arms around the unsteady girl. "I'm so glad you're here, Brooke." She swore, feeling one of the brunettes trembling arms squeeze around her waist. "I really have missed you." And she had, Brooke was like a walking ball of cheer, she could make her smile with just a facial expression, even when she didn't want to.
Brooke grinned, bravely uncurling her manicured hand from the railing and wrapping it around the shorter girls jacket covered waist. "Well, you could always come back with me to LA next week."
Haley pulled her head back from Brooke's shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "Or you could always stay here." She clutched onto her tighter, feeling her skates slipping beneath her.
"I'm going to miss you." Brooke announced, both girls giggling.
"Come on, Bambi." Haley said, grabbing Brooke's hand and pulling her along behind her.
Brooke scoffed, but just as the sound left her mouth and got lost in the cold air, the toe of her skate got stuck in the ice and she held onto Haley's wrist with both of her hands, managing to just stay on her feet. She could practically feel her smirk. "This is dangerous, and it's also why palates is my only form of exercise."
Haley tried to stay upright, Brooke arms having found there way around her waist. She caught a group of people watching from outside of the ring and she rolled her eyes at the image they must have made.
"At least no ones recognised us." Brooke said.
"I don't think anyone can see us." Haley replied, pulling at the large grey balls of fluff hanging from Brooke's hat.
"What? They're all the rage in Paris." She defended, straightening the huge white mass on top of Haley's head.
Haley moved swiftly forward before turning around to face Brooke, watching as the fashion designer managed to steady herself. "Haley!"
"What?" She returned, grinning wickedly. "Come on! It's all right, look. The water's stiff." She tapped the metal blade against the ice as she quoted from one of her favourite movies.
Brooke glared to show she did not find that funny. "Ha-ha."
Haley felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and slid her hand into the back of her jeans.
"Thumper!" Brooke called, managing to find her footing and fall against the side of the rink. "So much for spending time together." She grumbled, not really mad, just annoyed at her lack of grace on the slippery surface.
"Excuse me?" Brooke turned her head to find two young girls staring at her hopefully. "Are you Brooke Davis?"
Brooke grinned her dimpled grin, mood suddenly lifted. "I am."
"Oh my God!" They both squealed in delight. "We love you, you're designs are just amazing. And Clothes over Bro's is such a cool name. How did you think of it?"
"My friend came up with it, actually." Brooke admitted, her eyes sliding to said friend as she put her phone back in her pocket. "Is that one of mine?" She asked, scanning over the blonde girls red jacket.
"Yes." She replied. "I think I own every one of your designs."
"She does." Her brunette friend replied, smiling cheekily. "She's obsessed."
Brooke smiled as she watched the blonde elbow her friend in the side.
"Sorry about that." A voice announced, standing beside Brooke and the two teenagers jaws became slack.
"You're Haley James." The brunette choked out, her blue scarf feeling too tight around her neck.
Haley smiled while sending Brooke apologetic eyes. "Hi. And you are?"
"I'm Becky." The blonde said. "And this is Olivia." She pointed to her friend who was still having trouble processing words.
"You're awesome." Olivia said. "Your music seriously changed my life."
"Wow." Haley smiled humbly, not sure what to say. But thankfully Becky filled in the silence.
"Could we get some photos with you?" She asked the two older women in front of her.
"Of course." Brooke replied, taking the girls phone from her hand as the all manoeuvred into a line.
"So are you both friends?" Olivia asked as she slid in-between Haley James and Brooke Davis.
Brooke looked over at Haley and she saw her forehead was furrowed, and obvious sign something was weighing heavily on her mind. "The best."
.
.
"It was Nathan, wasn't it?" Brooke asked, as she and Haley walked arm in arm down the darkening NY streets. "Who text you."
Haley sighed into the take-away polystyrene cup she had pressed to her chin, the steam warming her face. "How'd you know?"
"You had that face." At her friends raised eyebrow Brooke pursed her lips and furrowed her brow in an impression of said face. "Your, Nathan Scott face."
"I do not have a Nathan Scott face." Haley replied, pushing the fluff of her hat from her eyes with her green gloved hand.
"It's the only face you've got." Brooke told her teasingly and giggled as Haley pushed her away, never letting go of her arm as she was pulled back into her side. "What did he want?"
Hearing the grown-up tone of Brooke's voice the singer looked into the swirling chocolate liquid in her cup. "He wants me to meet him."
"Where?"
"I don't know. There was just an address added afterwards."
Brooke took a sip from her own mug, trying to contain the feelings she had towards the man who caused the only person who she had ever cared for more than herself so much pain. "Do you want to go?"
She was received with a what do you think look.
"Do you still love him?"
Haley let out a loud laugh. "Jesus, Brooke. I'm with Dean."
"That doesn't answer my question." The brunette replied as their arms slid from the others.
"I'm engaged." Haley tried to convey, not even sure if she was still engaged. "I've moved on."
"Have you really?" Brooke asked, her hazel eyes searching her endless russet ones. "Because I think if you really had it wouldn't have bothered you that he was in New York. God, Haley, even Dean noticed. And I love the boy, but he's not the most perceptive."
"He misunderstood." Haley pressed.
"I don't think he did." Brooke replied.
Haley swallowed, looking away.
"Don't you remember what he did?" Brooke asked, feeling her temper flare as she remembered the nights where she would hold Haley as she cried, promising this was the last night, that she was sorry. "All the tears you cried because of him? Because I do, Haley. And I do not want you to go through that again. I wont let you." She spoke fiercely.
"And I'm not going to." Haley returned. "I don't want him, Brooke."
Brooke met her gaze. "You can lie to me all you want, but sooner or later you're going to have to stop lying to yourself."
Haley felt her fingers tighten around her friends and she closed her eyes. "I don't want to feel like this." She whispered, her throat tightening. "How can he make me feel like we're still in high school?" She asked rhetorically. "Like he never left?"
"Are you falling for him again?" Brooke asked after a moments silence, unconsciously squeezing her gloved hands in her purple ones. Praying she didn't already know the answer.
Haley wanted to laugh at that question, instead she closed her eyes and let out a swirling breath before meeting Brooke's worried gaze. "I don't think I ever stopped."
.
.
"She's coming." Nathan announced to the large empty room as he paced back and forth in front of the large glass window. "She's definitely coming." He nodded, halting in his path for a second before turning back around in the opposite direction. "She's not coming."
Clayton watched, amused, from the floor. Seeing his usually so calm you'd think he had no feelings best friend freaking out like this was, well, it was entertaining. It still amazed him how a girl so small could turn Nathan Scott into a blubbering ball of nerves. It was just one of the things Haley James changed about Nathan, she made him human. Showed him it wasn't a weakness if you felt emotion, if you felt vulnerable or scared or love. And she definitely made him feel all of those things.
"Dude, calm the frik down." The blonde man tried not to laugh. "She'll be here."
Nathan clenched his fists, hadn't Clay heard him the last five minutes? He knew she was coming.
But what if she wasn't?
He puffed out an annoyed breath, how did she manage to make him so … not him without even being there? His usual calm, cold demeanour went completely inside out when it came to Haley James. But that was exactly why he needed her in his life.
Over the past seven years he had met a lot of people. But not one of them had brought out any of the emotion in him that she did. She made him feel needed, wanted. Not that an arena full of thousands of screaming fans made you feel unwanted. It was just different. Ironically he had left because she had told him she loved him, that she was in love with him. And for a boy who had always been told that showing emotion made you weak, it let people tare you down - it was terrifying. Because he had felt the exactly same way.
Knock. Knock.
Clayton smirked as Nathan didn't even budge as he stared out into the lamp lit night. Getting up from the floor he punched in-between the mans shoulder blades before moving towards the door - ignoring the curses that followed after him.
Opening the large wooden door Clay grinned at the girl in front of him - bundled up in a large green scarf and some sort of dead animal on top of her head. He raised a large eyebrow. "Is that a badger?" He teased.
Haley protectively pulled her hat closer to her head. "They're all the rage in Paris."
"Yeah, to eat." He chuckled as she punched his chest.
"What are you doing here?" Haley asked as she felt her nerves diminish slightly as he stood in front of her.
"Leaving." Clay replied, feeling Nathan's thoughts shouting at him to get the fuck out.
"Oh. Why?" She questioned, feeling her stomach clenching.
Clayton smirked at her visible uneasiness as he stepped out into the long hallway. "Well, unless you want a threeso-" He laughed loudly as she gasped and smacked his arm. "Do me one favour?"
She looked into his bright blue eyes, remembering back when she had asked him the exact same thing. "What?"
"Hear him out?"
She wanted to remind him about what he had done to her, about the gaping whole he had left in her chest but she didn't. Instead she nodded, letting his smiling mouth press a kiss into her hair before he walked away, his shiny shoes noisily moving down the hallway.
Taking a deep breath she pushed open the door, her eyes widening as she took in the large apartment.
Nathan smiled at her awed expression, her russet eyes moving around the empty space. "What do you think?"
"Wow." She replied, walking over and looking out of the window at the gorgeous view. "Wow." She repeated, her spine tingling at his deep chuckle. "This is amazing, Nathan." She swore, finding her eyes moving to his, feeling her heart back-flip in her chest. "Who's is it's?" She asked.
"Yours." He could see the confusion and shock clear in the lines that were suddenly embedded into her forehead and he wanted to pull her against his chest and kiss them away.
Haley laughed. "You're joking." Then she saw his expression and licked her lips, her mouth feeling too dry all of a sudden. "You're not joking." She realised, seeing the not-joking straightness of his face.
"I've never been so serious in my life." Nathan promised, stepping towards her.
She let out a disbelieving laugh. "Nathan-you-I. You can't do this." She watched his gorgeous mouth go to form more words so she quickly interrupted him. "You're a pro basketball player-"
"Not anymore."
"Oh, yes you are because I am not letting you give that up." She told him, ignoring his smirk. "You can't be tied down to one place. And you can't buy this, Nathan."
"Why not?" He asked, stepping closer to her, smelling the vanilla of her shampoo.
"Because there's no reason for you to." Haley explained, unable to ignore the slash in her heart at the dip in his smile. He looked like a wounded puppy whenever he was upset and she hated being the one to put that expression on his face.
"Have dinner with me tonight."
Haley looked at him with disbelieving eyes - unable to stop her lip from curling in amusement as she found his large blue ones set on her, flecks of green clear in the endless sea. "Nathan-"
"It's just dinner, Haley." He announced and she felt the smirk that pulled at his mouth pulling at her insides.
She sent him a look, knowing with them that it was never 'just.'
Nathan chuckled low in his throat, his spine tingling at the raise of her eyebrow. "How about a coffee, then?"
Haley closed her eyes with a faint smile. He was persistent, she'd give him that. "I can't."
"Because of Dean?" He asked, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth.
"No." She replied. "Because of me."
"Haley-"
"Goodbye, Nathan." She said, ignoring the voice screaming at her that she broke her promise to Clay.
He watched her turn to walk away. "I'm still buying this place."
She didn't want to - she didn't, she tried to tell herself but she found her boot coming to a halt on the hardwood flooring. "Nathan, why-" She took in a deep breath, the words she had kept bottled up since he appeared at her show falling out of her mouth. "Why are you doing this?"
"I want you back." Nathan returned, his voice strong, as if he'd been waiting to say the words for years.
Haley held his gaze, still not understanding. "Why?" She ran her gloved hands over her face, feeling her hat pulling at her hair as she pulled it further onto her head. "Why me? All these years I'm sure you've met more than a few women. Tall, model-like girls throwing themselves at you, why do you need to have me?"
Nathan chuckled, a million different reason running around his mouth, fighting to be first in line. "You're Haley."
She opened her mouth but nothing came out. Yeah, she was Haley. Short Haley, with dumpy legs and 'womanly' hips she had inherited from her grandmother.
"You really don't see yourself clearly." His voice broke into her thoughts, making her think he knew her, inside and out. "Yeah, sure, I've met a lot of girls over the years but not one of them-" He groaned, wishing she could see herself through his eyes, "They're not you. Haley, you came tumbling into my life and you saved me. I was on the path of becoming a miserable human being, and then I met you." He closed his eyes, wishing he could find the words to make her believe him.
"It was high school." Haley announced, not wanting to hear him talk anymore. Hear the words that were slowly chipping at the ice she had gripping around her heart.
"It was everything." He replied, closing the few feet between them. "You know the night I decided to come find you? I was at a party the team were having because we'd just won against Miami Heat. We were drinking and laughing and it was great." He grinned as she gave him an unimpressed look. "But in that room surrounded by fans and team-mates I realised I had nothing. Nothing had ever filled that void in my heart since the day I walked away from you. And that was the moment I realised that no amount of praise or money or fame could. None of it meant anything without someone to celebrate it with. None of it meant anything without you."
"It took you seven years to realise that." Haley said back, his smell circling around her, making her dizzy, making her forget her reasons for fighting against the pull she felt towards him.
"It took me seven years to admit that to myself." Nathan replied. "Before you I had never needed anyone. And then you were there with your quirky-ness and gorgeous smile and I couldn't stop myself falling for you even if I'd wanted to. I was scared." He admitted, swallowing past the pride he could feel trying to stop him talking. "I was scared that one day you would realise how much better you could do and leave me-"
"I didn't want better, Nathan." She told him angrily. Angry that he could think so little of himself. "I wanted you." She told him, wanting to pull his face to hers and make him believe her with her lips. "But you left before I could tell you that."
Nathan stared into her endless brown orbs, shining with truth. "And if you'll let me I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. I just need one chance, Haley."
She kept her mouth firmly shut, fighting against her body which was about to launch itself at him and let him make it up to her right there on the hardwood floor.
"I love you, Haley. And if it takes another seven years for you to realise you love me too." He shrugged. "That's fine, I'll wait."
Haley felt herself been dragged back into him, losing herself in his cologne so she took a step back. "I have to go." She told him quietly, meeting his heated gaze as she turned towards the door.
Nathan nodded, letting her walk away from him - despite the screaming in his head not to let her go. "Haley, I'm not going anywhere."
She looked back at him as her hands twisted on the doorknob and she nodded before letting herself out and as she stepped into the hallway she felt as if she could breathe again.
.
.
"Duke, seriously, I love you, but I don't want people to think my new perfume is essence of dog drool." Haley told the tail-wagging Labrador as she stepped into the bedroom. "Or I could just change my clothes before I go to the café." She sighed as he continued to pant all over her as she closed the door. "Hey." She grinned happily, bouncing onto the large bed and kissing his cheek loudly.
"Hey." Nathan returned, not looking away from the magazine he was reading, jaw set like stone.
Haley twisted her lips, she knew that face. It was the I've-just-fought-with-Dan-but-I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it-face. She looked at Duke with a 'what're we going to do with him' expression to which he returned with by jumping onto the bed.
"Duke-no-" Haley laughed, trying to push the large beast as he licked at her face, removing the make-up it had taken her an hour to apply. "Duke-" She tried to sound mad but his large ears were flappping about and tickling her nose.
"Duke!" Nathan shouted suddenly, making both Haley and the dog jump in fright. "Down. Now." He said forcefully, Duke immediately obeying as he cowered on the floor.
"You didn't have to shout at him." Haley announced a moment later, knowing he hated doing it.
"Well he was annoying you." Nathan replied. "Sorry for trying to help."
She sighed at his pissy attitude. Pressing her lips together she leaned her chin on his shoulder, breathing in the smell of his t-shirt. "Are you okay?"
Nathan swallowed. He'd been asked that more in the past two months than he had in his entire life - and every time she asked he knew she actually cared for his answer. "Yeah." He sighed, tiredly. "It's just my dad, nothing new."
She nodded, eyes moving over the article about some basketball game. God, everything was about basketball. "You know I'm always here right, if you need anything." She grinned, pressing a kiss to his collar bone through the material of his shirt. "Anything at all." She wanted to sigh in relief as he chuckled, a smirk pulling at the side of his mouth.
"Well in that case-" The magazine went flying to the floor - Duke crying out in protest as it collided with his head - and Nathan had her pinned underneath him, sucking at the skin of her neck.
Haley giggled loudly as his stubbled jaw tickled her throat. "Nathan." She warned as she felt his fingers dancing over her sides. "I will never sleep with you again." She threatened.
Nathan chuckled low in his throat as he slowly tickled at her sides - she hated been tickled. But with the way she was wriggling and rubbing her body against his he couldn't stop himself. "You wouldn't last."
She rolled her eyes at his cocky tone but pulled his mouth down to hers. It was true and they both knew it. Feeling his body relax as she tangled her tongue with his she quickly rolled him onto his back, her thighs on either side of his waist as she grinned smugly down at him.
Nathan chuckled at the smile on her face and he leaned on his elbows as her hair made a curtain around their faces. "Thank you." He murmured quietly, his head light as the scent of her shampoo swirled around them.
Haley smiled, knowing those two words meant more than anyone could understand coming from him. "I'm not going anywhere." She promised, cupping his jaw and pressing her mouth back to his.
Nathan breathed a sigh of relief into her mouth, his hands holding her as close to him as she could get. Knowing he would stay forever this way if she would let him.
.
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Right, so I'm really not sure about this chapter. It's the first of this fic that I had trouble writing - I'm not used to writing angsty NH(not even sure if you could call it angsty) anyway, I hope it flows okay. I'm a little rusty.
Thank you for reviewing and reading - i HONESTLY LOOVE YOU ALL!
Oh, and the awesome quote is from Grey's Anatomy(:
- also, the songs I used in the last chapter were Broken Arrow by Pixie Lott (these were the lyrics Chris read thhat Haley had written). Lifehouse - Breathing. And Fade Into You by Mazzy Star.