Chapter Twelve:

Catching the Watcher With the Lamb

She pretended he had not just proclaimed his love for her but opened her door wide.

Months perhaps even weeks ago it would have meant something to her but she shielded her heart from Gil Grissom, not wishing to have it scarred any further.

Gracen was everything she ever wanted.

"Shift has been over for the past hour," she stated, her voice cool.

He tried to recover quickly not wishing to hide his pain that his declaration meant nothing to her.

"Think about what I said. I'll get with Brass and see what he can find out about this Randle guy. If you or Gracen spot him, call it in….immediately, Sara."

She nodded.

He started to leave when she stopped him.

"Hey Griss….get some sleep. You're exhausted. You say things you don't mean."

She closed the door before he could respond.

He thought about banging on the door and having it out with her but it was futile with Gracen in the next room, probably in her bed waiting for her to join him.

He balled his hands into fists.

Gracen stepped out of the bedroom. "Ready to sleep?"

She shook her head.

"Ready to shower?"

"Gracen, have you told us…me… everything?" she asked.

"Yes, I have Sara. I kept that from you because you had enough to worry about and I wanted to handle it…myself."

"You can't bypass the police…interfere with a police investigation."

"Sara, if those men had killed you I would have fallen lower than Satan. I would have obliterated them from the face of this earth."

"I don't want you taking revenge…getting into trouble. Let Brass….and Grissom handle it."

"I'm sorry. The human part took over. I'll try to be more angelic."

Her mouth curved. "Can we…practice like we did…yesterday?"

He grinned. "Come…let me feel you beneath me."

She swallowed.

Grissom listened outside the apartment door.

Their voices were muffled but he heard the sound of a door shutting.

They're in the bedroom…

Doing what?

No intercourse before mating…

What the hell were the other things she mentioned?

He was in a foul mood when he met Brass in his office.

"Anything on Randle?" he asked.

"His prints are not in the system but we managed to pull up a copy of his driver's license. You can show the photo to Sara…and what's his name….oh yes Grace and mercy," chuckled Brass.

Grissom did not react but grabbed the photo and looked at it.

"Does he look familiar?" asked Brass.

"No."

"Say…tell me about this new fellow of Sara's. He's got quite a name, Gracen Merci," said Brass, no longer kidding.

Grissom did not respond but continued to look at the photo.

"It must be serious for you to look so shitty," remarked Brass.

"He's dangerous," whispered Grissom.

Brass stepped closer to the desk. "I ran a check…nothing on the guy except he lives in a huge mansion…nice driver license photo. What do you know about him?"

"He's Heaven sent," griped Grissom as he walked out of his office leaving Brass to wonder what the hell he meant.

He tried to sleep but could do nothing but toss and turn.

He had hoped that by declaring his love for her, she would have said something.

Did it mean anything to her?

Does she have any feelings for me?

Am I making a fool out of myself?

Even if I am, I can't let her go through…with mating with him…

The next evening he came by the apartment to pick her up.

He meant to call first but had lost track of time.

He knocked on the door but no one came to the door.

He knocked once more, hearing a muffled sound from within.

He quickly pulled his revolver as he unlocked her door rushing inside.

The stereo was on and the apartment was in disarray as he made his way to the bedroom.

He nudged the door open, feeling his heart sink at the sight.

Sara moaned as Gracen's body lay on top of hers. It was unclear whether they were wearing any clothing. Gracen was shirtless, his body along with a blanket covered Sara's body.

Gracen continued to assault her with kisses.

"Soon, Sara we won't have to stop. I'll take what's mine and bind us together forever," he whispered.

"Gracen…you need to stop," she gasped.

Fearing she was in trouble, Grissom started to step into the bedroom but halted when she gasped, "I don't want to have my first orgasm with you not inside me."

The click of Grissom's gun caused Sara to scramble upwards but Gracen held her in place.

"It's okay. It's just Grissom. He arrived a few minutes ago. You're safe."

Grissom stepped out of the bedroom shutting the door.

Sara looked mortified.

"How…how long has he been standing there?" she asked.

"Long enough to hear that you were about…"

Sara threw the blanket off as she hurried to get dress.

"I knew it was Grissom as soon as he opened the door," he explained. "We were not in any danger."

It did not ease the tension or the anger he felt from her.

She glared at him as she threw off her gown and then began to dress quickly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tempted you right before work," he said.

He waited until she was fully dressed, swallowing at the sight of her long slender legs as they slipped into a pair of black jeans.

"You should have told me…Grissom was there," she spat.

He was surprised she was angry that Grissom had seen them in an intimate encounter.

"Why? Sara, he knows we're sleeping together. People do things when they are in bed together. I'm only trying to prepare you."

She closed her eyes fighting off the effects of her near orgasm.

He had managed to find the right spot to nuzzle, and then slowly grinded into her.

Her eyes rolled back inside her head at the sheer force it took to keep from yanking her panties to the side and force him inside her.

She'd never experienced this kind of foreplay before.

She knew they had crossed the line several minutes before being interrupted by Grissom.

He had to physically grip her hands in his to keep her from touching his manhood, whispering it would be their undoing.

"Not yet," he urged.

"I want you," she begged.

"Sara…not yet. We're not prepared. We have to stop."

"Don't move…I think I'm coming…Gris…"

She had not finished, gritting out later that she was too sensitive.

He had eased up, letting her cool off a little before settling between her legs once more just before Grissom arrived unannounced.

"Sara…you didn't answer me," he said forcefully.

"It wasn't right," she grieved.

"How so? Would it hurt you to see him with another woman? Would you care if you saw him in bed…in the throes of passion with someone besides yourself?"

"It…just wasn't right."

He took a deep breath as if her responses pained him.

"Did you feel guilty for getting caught?"

She brushed her fingers through her hair, unable to find her brush.

"My sex life is private," she fumed.

He leaned over and picked up the brush off the floor. "I'm sorry if this was embarrassing for you. I'm not ashamed of my feelings for you. I want you…soon. It's frustrating getting so close and then having to stop. We need to complete the ritual soon or we need to be apart for awhile…you just have to make up your heart. Are you going to mate with me…or try to have a relationship with Grissom?"

She started to leave the bedroom but he stopped her.

"It was love…not sex," he urged. "Did I stop in time?" he teased.

"Barely," she admitted.

He grinned slightly.

"And...it was love...not sex," she added.

"Sara… Grissom needs to come to terms with this also. He still loves you. You need to urge him to move on…let go. I think he will do that if you tell him that we are going to be married…a term he will understand."

He really loves me?

I'm not sure he's capable of love…

"He understands about mating," she blurted.

"How?"

"I uhm told him. I wanted his opinion…about this."

He hates me…

He considers me a fallen angel…

I'm not like them…

Or am I?

He swallowed, unsure why he was so upset.

Her reaction was normal but it nagged at him that she almost called out Grissom's name.

He acted as though he had not heard it, not sure why he didn't just confess to her that he had heard the slip, letting her understand how painful it was for him.

"He thinks I'm condemned…a fallen angel. I'm not an angel or a human…I'm not accepted….period. Sara that is what you are going to face if you decide to mate with me. Honey, I would never jeopardize your soul…I want you to live forever…if not with me then…in Heaven."

She felt the necklace on her neck.

"Promise me you'll consider everything."

"I promise."

He glanced around the room.

"Are you going to search for Randle?" she asked.

"Yes….but I'm also going to go…home."

"Promise me you'll be careful. I'll see you after shift."

He pushed her against the wall as he pressed his body into hers, kissing her until she tugged at his shirt but he stilled her hands.

"I love you, Sara. I love being with you…already part of you runs through me. I'll cherish it always….no matter what decision you make, you'll always be a part of me. Be safe…stay close to Grissom tonight."

"We'll continue this later."

He didn't answer but she didn't have time to discuss it at the moment, needing to get to Grissom.

She stepped into the living room but Grissom was not there.

She knew he had gone back to the Denali and was relieved that he had parked right in front of the exit so she could easily get in without being spotted or worse nabbed by someone.

She had felt protected within the walls of her apartment but out in the open, made her suspicious of the least movement.

As soon as she slipped into the seat, he started the vehicle.

She buckled her seat belt and folded her hands into her lap.

He glanced at them, remembering how her hands were clasped in Gracen's while she was on the verge of an orgasm.

Gracen…

Not me…

She offered herself before and I should have acted…

While he was only in the room briefly it felt like eternity, seeing and listening to the sounds of their foreplay.

It had been horrible.

He felt betrayed and hurt.

His heart still thudded loudly and he was sure that his face was red from embarrassment as well as anger.

He'd never felt such pain before.

I don't think I can go through this…

It was better being alone…

She's always had the ability to hurt me more than any other…

He wanted to lash out at her but he had no right to be angry.

They were never together.

She could give herself to anyone and he had no right to complain.

Gracen wasn't just anyone.

He was a fallen angel.

Why the hell did she have to pick him?

I hated Hank but Gracen?

I loathe him for what he is about to do to Sara….

He was clearly upset and so she kept quiet, not wanting to make matters worse.

Sooner or later they would have to discuss it but clearly he needed to calm down.

His hands continuously gripped the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry…I came into the apartment," he finally said.

"Why did you?"

"I knocked but there was no answer. I heard…a noise…coming from the bedroom. There were clothes…on the floor...your apartment is usually neat and tidy."

"You thought I was in danger," she clarified.

"Yes," he said sadly.

"Grissom, I…"

"Do you really love him, Sara?" he asked, his voice sounding odd to both of them.

Her hand shot to the necklace as she closed her eyes. "Yes, I think I do."

"You think?" Grissom nearly veered off the road.

"Sara you are playing with your life here!" he yelled as he gripped the steering wheel.

"I know what I am doing. I'm falling in love with…Gracen Merci. I'm going to marry…mate with him. I want you to be okay with this...because we're friends."

"We are not friends!" he yelled at her.

She jerked away as if his declaration had physically hurt her.

Note from author:

Ouch, well, that didn't go well...

Take care!