I'm lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. It doesn't hold anything interesting, but if I keep looking at it, then I don't have to look at Roxas. His eyes haven't left me since I climbed in bed. I'm afraid that if look into his eyes, I will break down. That is exactly what I've been trying not to do for hours.
"Dex, talk to me." His soft whisper is the only sound in the room.
"I…" I don't know what to say. Where to start? There are so many things that I should have told him from the very beginning, things I haven't even admitted to myself in a very long time. "My…my name…isn't Dexlin. I never knew what it was. Now I know why. I never…had one."
"Then…"
"When I woke up in Traverse Town, I was in the middle of a bunch of crates. 'DEXLIN' was written on the side of one of them. When Aerith asked me my name, that was the first thing that came to my mind. She never questioned me about it. And I just kept using it. I always hoped that I would remember what my real name was, but I never did." I take a sharp breath but stop myself before the tears start to fall. "I was so scared because I didn't have any clue who I was."
"Dexlin, it's okay to be scared. You remember how I was when we first met. I was just like that."
"But I knew something wasn't right. I didn't know what it was, but I could tell. I think that's why I really ran away from Traverse Town. Because something was wrong, I didn't feel like I could stay there. I had to go somewhere else. And I found Twilight Town. I thought I could make a new life there. One where it didn't matter that it didn't feel right. And you saw where that led."
"Now you know the truth. You can take comfort in that. You're with me. It doesn't matter." He reaches out to me, but his hand stops before he touches me.
"It does matter, Roxas. Because it can't be true. There's got to be some mistake. Because…because…" It's no use. I can feel walls inside of me crumbling. I'm going to break down.
"What is it?"
"Because I have a heart." The tears start flowing from my eyes. My entire body starts to shake. My breathing is ragged.
Roxas's arms snake around me, pulling me closer to him. He presses his body against mine. "I know you do, Dexlin. I know you do. I've known that from the very first second I met you." I can feel tears falling from his eyes on to the side of my face. "You couldn't love me the way you do if you didn't have a heart." He lays his hand flat on my chest. "You have a heartbeat. I can feel it."
"But if I'm just a Nobody, how I can I have heart?"
"I don't know, but we'll find out. We'll ask King Mickey. He knows more than anyone. I'm sure he can tell us. We'll figure this out. I promise."
Roxas held me until my tears stop falling. He tightened his grip on me until I drifted off to sleep.
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A single sound echoes through the darkness. The creaking of wood. It's the same sound over and over again. It's haunting my sleep. I recognize the noise from some place deep within my memory. Its echo bounces off the darkness. Then, I'm screaming, trying to drown out the noise. "Don't!" But it's too late. The noise gets louder and louder. It's deafening. I can't hear my own screams anymore. It's too late!
"No!" I'm sitting up in bed, sweat rolling off my forehead. The room is quiet. The echo is gone. It was only in my head. But I still remember it. I know what it is. And that only makes me feel worse.
Roxas is still asleep. His arm is reaching out towards me like he held my hand until he finally fell asleep himself. I'm glad I didn't wake him up. I don't want to have to tell him about my dream or the sound that is haunting me. I don't want him to think I'm crazy.
Slowly I push myself out of bed so I don't wake Roxas. The floor is cold against my bare feet. As quietly as I can, I slip through the door leading out to the balcony, closing it behind me.
The air has gotten colder in the night. A swift wind blows across me. It feels good against my sweaty face. I take a deep breath of fresh air to replace the air from inside that now feels like it was very stuffy.
"Can't sleep either?"
I look over to find a tall man leaning up against the wall. He's got long brown hair. He has a scar running down his face. He's staring off into the crystal gardens with the same far away look that Sora had when he was looking at that keyhole.
"No, I couldn't."
"Aerith told me you guys arrived a little while ago. Cloud and I were out at the Black Fortress. Something funny going on over there." He looks away from the gardens to look at me. "I'm Leon, by the way."
"Dexlin." He so much taller than me that just standing near him makes me feel like a little kid.
"Yeah, Aerith told me about you. From back in Traverse Town." I slowly nod my head. "Well, I'm not surprised to see any of you here. I figured you would show up ever since we started getting weird readings coming from the Black Fortress."
"What's the Black Fortress?"
"Just on the other side of the Crystalline Gardens, there is a black castle. It used to be a Heartless stronghold, but we've managed to chase them out. The last couple of months it has sat there quiet. Then yesterday, we started getting strange energy readings from it."
"It's Xemnas."
"That would explain it. We didn't see any sign of him, but Cloud and I aren't stupid enough to go inside. Well, Cloud is maybe. But he must be there."
I fall quiet, staring at the gardens. If only I could see past the crystals so I could see what this Black Fortress looks like.
"I suggest you try to get a little more sleep before the sun comes up, Dexlin. We're going back in the morning and I'm sure Sora is going to want to come along. I think you've got about another good thirty minutes."
"I'll try."
Leon walks down the balcony and disappears into one of the rooms. As for me, I just stand here. I don't try to go back to sleep because there is no point. There's no way I can sleep. Not with all the things running through my head. Because now, on top of the noise haunting me, I have a single thought running over and over in my head. Something that I know to be true.
'This is all my fault.'