Here I was in a stupid party hat, at my stupid friend's house, watching him and my stupid ex girlfriend giggle in the stupid corner. I watched my date make her way through the crowds of people she didn't know, carrying two cups of punch. I forgot her name. I met her last night. She was hot, but she was as dumb as a doorknob.

"Thanks," I said as she handed it to me. She just nodded and looked around.

"Whose party is this again?" she asked. As if the Disney Princess decorations didn't scream the answer.

"Obviously it's mine," I said, taking a sip of the punch. Damn it, why wasn't it spiked? Because this was a four year olds birthday party, of course.

She just laughed like a hyena and slapped my arm playfully. She didn't get the undertones of blatant sarcasm and annoyance dripping from my "joke."

"Seriously, Johnny, whose is it?"

Johnny? Hold the phone. No.

"My name is John," I sighed, trying to tune her out and find someone else to talk to. Why did I even bring her with me? "and it's my nieces birthday. She's four."

"Aww, I didn't know you had a niece!" she cooed into my ear, like that turned her on. If it did, I was scared for both of us.

"She's not technically my niece. She's," I stopped. Why was I still talking to her? "Excuse me." I nodded towards her and made my escape. She was the fourth girl this week that had spent the night with me, but she was the only one who couldn't take a hint.

I sat my cup on the table and went into the kitchen, on the prowl for something a little more, how do I put this, alcoholic.

There was no beer. What was this? There were Smirnoff's. How girly.

"If I got a solo cup nobody would ever know," I whispered to myself and when in search of a cup. I knew Kennedy had a stash for beer pong, but I could only find child size party cups. The one I picked up had Ariel on it. Hot.

I cracked open the Smirnoff and poured the overly sweet drink into my overly kiddy cup. There, embarrassment averted. Damn I was smart.

"You think you're so smooth, don't you?" I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. She caught me, and as much as I was telling myself that I didn't want to talk to her, I did. Shit. The war that was happening in my head was keeping me from doing anything. I stood there like an idiot, stuck in a trance.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yup," I said, turning around to look at her. She was practically radiating, she looked so alive, vibrant. I was wearing a Disney Princess party hat. Way to go, John. I took the hat off and set it on the counter. "How are you?" I asked, being polite, although I should have bolted.

"I'm good," she said, with a small smile. I bet she was. "Are you ready for tour?"

"Oh yeah," I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. God it was terrible. There was a long awkward silence, almost as if she wanted me to elaborate, but I didn't.

"Good," she forced a smile and nodded at me, ending our short conversation. As she left the kitchen, I should have felt like a dick, but I didn't, because I knew she was going to find Kennedy.

I never came second in my whole life. I guess that's why I didn't take losing to Kennedy lightly. I knew they weren't together, but in my head, I let my thoughts go wild, and where they went, I needed brain floss.

Fuck.

I downed the rest of my vile drink, and searched the fridge for something better but, of course, there was nothing.

"Uncle John, are you looking for beer?" a tiny voice asked. I closed the fridge and looked down at the midget next to me. She was wearing a yellow dress with a tiara. God, what I wouldn't do for this girl.

"Olivia, are you stalking me?" I asked, setting down my cup and lifting her easily into my arms.

"If I told you that I knew where daddy kept the beer, would you make that awful lady you came with go home. She tried to talk to me about Sesame Street, but hello, I am four. What does she think I am, two?"

"What a bitch," I said with a smile. She clasped her hands over my mouth and giggled.

"Whrrs duhh brrrrr?" I asked against her hand. She didn't move it, just kept giggling, so I licked it.

"OHMYGOSH EW," she screeched at a decibel my ears hadn't ever heard before and retracted her tiny hand from over my mouth. Not to brag or anything, but I was her favorite uncle, if you didn't count Nick. That dick had me one up on that.

"Where's the beer, kid?" I asked as I set her on the ground. There might have been something wrong with a four year old dragging you through her own party on a beer run. That's just how Miss Olivia and I rolled.

She took me to the door that led into the garage, but she paused with her hand on the doorknob before she opened it.

"You have to promise to make the bitch go home, Uncle John," she said, without an ounce of humor. She was dead serious. It wouldn't hurt me if she went home.

"Deal," I said, holding out my hand for a fist bump. "Do you eat with that mouth?" I asked as she led me into the garage. She just smiled at me and opened the refrigerator they had stocked with, yes, beer. I felt like I should have been a good role model and discourage the cursing, but I couldn't. I found it humorous.

"Want one, kid?" I asked, but she just giggled and shook her head.

"I am four," she said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Oh right," I said, pulling my keys out of my pocket to use my bottle opener keychain. Oh, the memories.

"I can't believe Kennedy hid our only bottle opener," I said, walking down the aisles of the Piggly Wiggly. I didn't realize these stores actually still existed, but we were somewhere in Alabama, and oh yeah, they still did.

"He thinks you drink too much," Peyton informed me.

"He thinks YOU drink too much," I corrected her. "Do they even have bottle openers here?"

"Sure, this is Alabama. That's one thing they will never run out of."

"Do you miss it here?" I asked her, even though I knew how she felt about this state.

"Oh yeah, everyday. This state and I were close, like this," she said, crossing her fingers. "It will always hold a tiny piece of my heart. Are you kidding me? Fucking hate this state," she finished, linking her arm through mine

"I am going to say that this store does not have bottle openers."

"I am going to say that this store has exactly one bottle opener," she pointed to something dangling off of the corner of a shelf.

"Thank you, Jesus," I said, going to grab for it the same time she did. We bumped heads and both started cursing rather loudly.

"Smooth," she said, rubbing her head. I smiled and kissed the section of her head that had moments before collided into mine. She smiled and stood on her tip toes to kiss mine, but I moved lightening fast to make sure that her lips met mine. When they did, she instantly wrapped her arms around me. I lifted her up and leaned her gently against the shelf. What had started out as an innocent kiss turned into something, well, not so innocent. My hands were all over her, and from what I could tell, she didn't seem to mind. Things started falling off of the shelf, but we didn't care. We didn't care until we heard glass shatter. I set her down, grabbed the bottle opener, grasped for her hand and then we bolted. We ran for what seemed like forever until we reached the bus. It was parked down the street.

"Step on it, Phil," Peyton said as she was still climbing onto the bus.

"You got it."

It wasn't until Peyton and I caught our breaths that we realized we forgot to pay for the bottle opener. I held it up, and we both laughed. It was tiny, it was a keychain, and it was shaped like a monkey.

"Uncle John?" she said, tugging my hand, trying to get me to snap out of it.

"Sorry," I said, following her back through the door. I went back to the kitchen and picked up the same Ariel cup I had before and poured my beer into it.

"Peyton's going to catch you," Olivia said, watching me. I picked her up and set her on the counter next to me.

"Do you think I am scared of Peyton?"

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"She already caught me once. And, for your information, squirt, I am not scared of Peyton. She can suck it."

"I can suck what?" Peyton asked, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

"I didn't say that you could suck anything. I said that you could…" I thought for a minute. "Fuck it, I said you could suck it."

"John, language," she said, narrowing her eyes. Olivia giggled and hopped down from the counter. She started dancing her way out of the kitchen. She stopped and turned around. "Remember Uncle John, make her LEAVE!"

"Yes ma'am," I nodded towards her.

"You really do need to watch your mouth around her," Peyton said, trying to clean up the mess in the kitchen. "She cusses like there is no tomorrow. She has ever since we got her back and I don't understand why."

"I'll try," I sighed, taking a sip of my beer and watching her. "Can you stop playing housewife for a minute and come talk to me. I haven't talked to you since Nick's wedding." She dropped what she was doing and slowly walked over.

"They come back from their honeymoon today," Peyton said. "Nick didn't want to miss Olivia's birthday."

"Isn't that sweet," I said, setting my beer down. She ignored my sarcastic tone.

"How's life?" she asked, pushing herself up to sit on the counter.

"It's life. How about you?"

"Same," she said.

"It could get a lot better if you came on tour with us," I tried.

"I can't. I have to stay with Olivia." I nodded, and then there was silence. It was becoming a reoccurring thing.

"Why is talking so awkward for us now?" she asked, turning her body so that she was facing me. I looked at her and shrugged.

"Maybe it's because you broke my heart and then without skipping a beat, went running back to Kennedy."

"That isn't fair, John," she sighed and hopped off of the counter, starting to make her way out of the kitchen. "I can't say how sorry I am for that whole incident, but I am not with Kennedy. I just really hope one day you can forgive me."

"Lainey, wait," I blurted out. She turned around and came running back into my arms. I kissed her forehead.

"Corny, I'm sorry for everything," she sniffled. Damn girls and their tears.

"I know," I sighed, laying my head down on top of hers.

"I just think we need to-"

"Do we have anymore cups?" Kennedy asked, walking into the kitchen. Just as soon as he rounded the corner, his face twisted into something I recognized well. Anger, maybe a little hate, definitely some jealousy. This was what I needed the day before we left for tour. He turned around and stormed out.

"We need to what?" I asked.

"Nothing," she sighed, pushing her hair out of her face, her gaze following Kennedy's retreating form.

"Oh, well then on that note, I am going to take my date home, per Olivia's demands, and I guess go pack for tour." I said, releasing Peyton and picking up my beer. She wiped her eyes and nodded.

Why did I still love her? She turned my world upside down, not that I hadn't shaken hers up too. I knew I was a dick and tried to prevent anyone from getting close to her, but I had to. She was my Lainey. She was the kid I went to summer camp with, the girl I stole a bottle opener with, the first, and only girl, that I ever fell in love with. Fuck.

"We're leaving," I said to my date as soon as I found her.

"But Johnny," she started pleading. Hell no. I did not play this game.

"Let's go," I said. "See you on the flip side, squirt." I said as I passed her on the way out.

"Bye, Uncle John," she replied, with a wave.

As soon as I started walking down the lighted path, a car pulled up, and I knew who it was before they even got out.

"Oh boy, do you look satisfied," I joked as soon as Nick stepped out of the car.

"You have no idea," he said, giving me a hug.

"How was it?"

"The honeymoon or the sex?" he asked.

"Both."

"Oh, so good," he smiled.

"Olivia is waiting for you inside. I filled the favorite uncle role while you were gone, but now that you're back, I guess I will have to give you back the title."

Nick chuckled. "See you later," he called out as he walked inside. Sophia wasn't with him, I guess.

Nobody was able to get a hold of Nick the whole time he was on vacation, so I guess tonight would be the night he heard all about Gabi taking Olivia. He would flip his shit. Glad I was leaving.

/\/\/\/\/\

I knew she was here, sitting on the side of the bed. She used to wake me up this way. Her fingers were slowly running through my messy hair. I didn't want to open my eyes, because I knew that she would stop once I was awake. I just wanted this to continue forever. She stopped, though, and I h8'd lyfe.

"Why did you stop?" I asked, eyes still closed, my voice a tad whinier than I aimed for.

"I'm not stupid, I knew you were awake," she said, standing up and adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well, considering I live here, and you are laying in my bed, why wouldn't I be here?"

"Sorry. Nick was back, so I couldn't crash at his house anymore. I just figured you were spending the night at Kennedy's. "

"Why would I spend the night at Kennedy's?" she asked, digging through her drawers for something.

"Because, you both need to get laid." I joked, wiping my eyes.

"If you don't get ready, they are going to leave you," she said, ignoring my joke. Granted, it wasn't very funny, but now I felt like a dick.

"They won't leave me. I am the lead singer."

"I don't know. I think they would be fine without you. Between Kennedy and Jared, it would be fine."

"Well, tell them to go ahead." I said, rolling over and placing a pillow over my head.

"I'll go in your place," she teased. Thing was, she could. I didn't want her to, because people would realize how amazing she was and I would be out of a job.

"Fine," I grunted, rolling out of the bed and sliding my jeans on.

"I just came in here to make sure you were up, and to give this back to you," she said, finally finding what she was looking for. She turned around and held it out to me. I grabbed it and wondered how the hell she got this.

"Did you-"

"Borrow. I borrowed it," she cut me off. "The last day, no matter how mad we were at each other, I kept it as a reminder of who we used to be."

I looked for this picture for everywhere. Not once did I think she would steal it.

"I just thought you might want to hang it in your bunk again," she finished, adjusting her bag again. She seemed to do that when she was nervous, I noticed.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks," I said, bending over, housing the picture with the others.

"Sure. What time are the guys picking you up?"

"In," I looked at the clock on my phone. "Twenty minutes. Sure you don't want to go?"

"I have never been so sure of anything in my life. This tour should be nice and drama free for everyone."

"Sure, it was full of drama, but you and Julia made it fun."

"John, you guys haven't toured since then. That was over a year ago. I single handedly drove a wedge between you and your best friend."

"As if you don't now?"

As soon as the one sentence escaped my mouth, I wanted to take it back. I wanted to rewind and think before I opened my big mouth.

She didn't say anything, but the tears forming in her eyes were very real. I caused them, I made them fall.

"Shit," I whispered. "Fuck," I said, running my hand through my hair.

"Have a good tour, John," she said.

"No wait, don't go," I said, following her out of the door.

"You know, I may not make the best choices. I fuck up a lot, but don't you dare, DON'T YOU DARE make me feel like I am the only person at fault for this huge mess we all seem to relive every single day."

"Is it mine or Kennedy's fault that you can't seem to choose?"

"Was it Halvo's fault that I cheated on him with you? Was that my fault? NO, it was your fault."

"We aren't talking about Eric. We are talking about you and me and Kennedy. Oh, let's throw Ben in there too, just for a little fun." I wanted to stop the words from coming out of my mouth, but they just kept coming out. I had a case of word vomit.

"How many times do I have to say I am sorry for that?" she shouted, wiping her eyes.

"Sorry for what? That it happened or that you got caught."

"You think you're so much better than me, John? I am not stupid. I know you have a different girl everyday this week. Trying to fill an empty void in your life? A big empty space?"

"What I do is no concern of yours, princess." I said, grabbing my bag, stomping down the hallway and slamming through the screen door. I sat my bag down on the porch and waited for they guys. A few minutes later I heard the door open and close, very quietly.

"I just," she started, her voice calm and composed. "I want to be sure that who I end up with is the right person."

I wanted to say so many things. I wanted to say that I was the right person, that we made sense together, but not matter how much I thought that, I knew she didn't. I wasn't the kind of person you brought home to meet your dad. I wasn't the kind of person you married and shared a life with. I wasn't Kennedy.

"I'm an asshole," I sighed, thinking about everything I had just unleashed on one of my best friends.

"John, there is something I need to tell you," she said. She looked strong, but I could tell that on the inside, she was a mess.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Get your fat ass in the van," Garrett yelled out of the window. Kennedy opened the side door and caught Olivia, who was waiting to jump into his arms. He set her down and she ran full speed towards Peyton, who had forgotten that she was about to tell me something, that I think, was pretty important.

Whatever she was going to tell me, I guess would have to wait. I hugged her goodbye, and told her I loved her. She said it back, but I knew it didn't hold the same meaning as mine did. She hugged Kennedy and Pat and Garrett and Jared, and told them all she loved them.

I was nothing special. I was her past.

I had a feeling that I wasn't going to be her future.

There was still time to change that, but for now, I would give her the space she needed. Right now, I would try to not think about whatever it was she was going to tell me.

I set a goal for myself right then and there.

John's one and only goal for this tour: Sleep with as many girls as I could to try to get over Peyton Elaine Smith.

That was a goal I intended to keep.