It was a terrible noise. A crunch followed by an ear shrieking cry. I tried to stop in time, but I couldn't. I couldn't swerve around it, or I would have hit the car passing on the other side of the road. I closed my eyes and prayed to god it would go between my tires. No such luck. It was captured between my tire and the road as my Jeep treated the tiny dog like a speed bump. I hated hitting animals, but really, who didn't?
I parked my Jeep on the side of the road and climbed out. I had to move the poor animal before it turned into what I liked to call "road pancake." By the time I rounded the back tire, the dog was gone. I didn't have to look very hard for it though, I just had to follow the cries of pain. It was then that I realized where I was, whose dog it was, dragging its hind legs behind it. I also realized who the brunette running full speed towards me was, her hair flying wild in the wind. I cursed under my breath, and counted to ten in my head, trying to keep my blood pressure normal, otherwise, I would have climbed back in my Jeep and peeled out of here without a second thought. That would have been the coward's way out of this one, though.
"Daisy!" she screamed, afraid to pick the tiny pug up. I felt bad that I ran over her best friend's dog, but I really had no choice. I awkwardly leaned against my Jeep, debating on whether or not to bolt. I don't know if she had seen me yet, fuck. She just saw me.
"Ben?"
"Hey," I sighed, scratching the back of my neck. "I really," I hesitated, trying to find the right words, "she just, it was an accident." I said, gesturing towards the dog.
"I know," she said, sucking back tears. "But Julia took the kids to get ice cream and I don't have a car. Are you going anywhere important?"
Yes. Band Practice. Work.
"No." I lied. Why? Why was I doing this to myself? Because I just ran over her favorite dog. Because she was crying.
"Can you give me a ride to the vet?" she asked, running back inside full speed before I could even answer. She knew I would say yes. I am a sucker.
/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\
The car ride to the vet's office was a level of torture all of its own. She kept whispering things to Daisy, trying to keep her calm. She had her wrapped up in a blanket she had stolen from Julia's house.
I didn't know what to say to her. We hadn't talked since that night I had left her at the venue. I do admit, it was a dick thing to do, but our whole relationship was a lie. She had been cheating on me the whole time. With John O'Callaghan, sex personified. Call me insecure if you want, but next to that guy, who wouldn't be?
"Thank you, for driving her to the vet," she finally spoke up, looking out of the window.
"I feel terrible," I said.
"It's not like you meant to hit her," she said, finally looking at me, reaching out and touching my hand. I know she didn't mean anything by it, I know that's just the kind of person she was, but I think I hurt her feeling when I jerked my hand out from under hers. I honestly don't think that I even care if I hurt her feelings.
"Where is this place?" I asked.
"Just keep driving, I'll tell you," she said. "Look, I know I'm not your favorite person, and I know that we have been avoiding each other-"
"I haven't been avoiding you," I said. "It's not like our lives ever really crossed paths beyond the bookstore, and since I work there, I would say that you are the one avoiding me."
"Whatever Ben, I just wanted to say that I am sorry about everything. I just hope we can put the past behind us and somehow stay friends."
"We were never friends," I stated. She just sighed, obviously giving up. I didn't have to be nice. I may have ran over her best friends dog, and I was truly sorry about that, but she willingly cheated on me for weeks, and it took her this long to apologize. I wasn't going to forgive her that easily, and to be honest, I wasn't sure if I was going to forgive her at all.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"It's looking at me." I said, trying not to hyperventilate.
"Stop it," she said, nudging me, urging me to look away from the eleven foot snake wrapped around its owner's fat neck. The only thing I hated worse than snakes were, well nothing. There was nothing I hated worse than snakes.
"It just hissed at me," I said, clenching my fists into balls, feeling the sweat collecting on my brow. Peyton stood up and moved, taking the seat between the snake and me, totally blocking my view. Either she was fearless or she was just really good at acting like nothing bothered her.
"Better?" she asked. I finally allowed myself to really look at her for the first time. She had no make-up on, which was something I thought I would never see. Her hair was a few shades darker, and it suited her. Her eyes were puffy from crying. I had caused that.
"Yes. Thank you," I finally answered. She nodded and looked around at all of the animals lying on the floor, waiting to be seen. They instantly took Daisy back for x-rays when we arrived. She seemed a little worse off than all of the other animals. Peyton hadn't even bothered to call Julia to tell her what was going on.
"Smith," the veterinarian called as soon as he stepped through the door. Peyton stood up, and to my horror, so did the man with the fucking snake. Peyton and her stupid common last name. I almost fainted when the snake stuck its tongue out at me, its beady eyes peering into my soul.
"Ms. Smith," the doctor clarified. The snake's owner sat his fat body back down, the chair almost collapsing from his weight. I fought the decision to stay in the waiting room momentarily, but decided to follow Peyton. I didn't want to be the snake's lunch. I don't even care if that was possible or not. Fuck that snake.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
We were in the back room, looking at the x-ray the veterinarian was showing us, pointing at various bones that Daisy used to have. Now they were just shattered fragments of nothing.
"It seems like she tried to dive out of the way, causing her hind legs to get left behind, which is what took the weight of the impact."
"Oh god," Peyton sighed, crossing her arms, staring at the pictures. "Can you fix it?"
"It will take multiple surgeries, but yes, we can repair the damage," the doctor answered. I looked over at Peyton and I saw the relief evident in her face.
"How much will it cost?" I asked. I wasn't stupid, I knew nothing was free. I didn't mean to crush Peyton's euphoric state, but real questions had to be asked now.
"That depends, do you have pet insurance?"
"Who insures their pet?" Peyton laughed, nervously. "That is ridiculous."
"Well, without it, it could cost anywhere from one to four thousand dollars."
"You have got to be shitting me," she whispered under her breath, but it was louder than she intended. The vet just stared at her. I am sure he was used to Julia's grace and manners, not Peyton's.
"Julia and Garrett don't have that kind of money," she started pacing that small room. "Will just got sick and they just had to pay for his doctor bill. If Cameron helped out with anything for his own son, oh god don't even get me started on that."
"Peyton," I tried to stop the rant that had already started but it was too late.
"And I don't have that kind of money. I can't borrow it from my dad because I just borrowed money from him. Do you have any money?"
"I have like, four hundred dollars to my name," I said, shaking my head.
"Shit," she kept going, "I could ask to borrow it from Kennedy, but I don't think he has it right now. I am not borrowing anything from John. I wonder if I could borrow it from Nick or Mama Santino or," she went silent as her phone started to vibrate in her hand. She took a deep breath before she answered it.
"Hey Julia," she greeted, as cheerfully as she could. "I have to tell you something." I tuned her out, because I wasn't the kind of person who liked to hear people give other people bad news, so I focused on the x-rays. I really messed Daisy up. If I had been driving a few miles slower, or left my house a few minutes earlier, this would have never happened, but it did. It just goes to show you that fate can be a bitch sometimes. Peyton hung up the phone and started pacing back and forth again.
"We need to make a decision soon. We can either proceed with surgery or discuss the alternative," the doctor said, becoming impatient with all of Peyton's freaking out and pacing.
"Well what is the alternative?" she asked. I sighed, because I already knew the answer.
"Well, to euthanize her would be the only other alternative," he informed her, without a hint of compassion.
"Do the surgery. We will come up with the money," she said, grabbing her bag off of the floor and walking out of the room. I guess this conversation was over.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
"How are we going to come up with that much money?" I asked her, taking a bite of my burrito. Chipotle just happened to be a few blocks away from the vet's office. I couldn't pass it up.
"I don't know," she sighed, pushing her fork around her burrito bowl. "We have to come up with something. Julia couldn't even talk. She had to hang up, she was crying so hard."
"God, I feel like a dick."
"Shut up. This isn't your fault," she said, trying to make me feel better. It didn't' work. She kept tapping her fingers on the metal table, trying to come up with anything. It took her thirty-two minutes.
"A charity concert!" she said, punching me, like she had just come up with the best idea in the world. Actually, she had.
"A charity concert," I repeated. "Why didn't we think of this earlier?"
She looked at her phone. "It's already two. We need to organize this as fast as we possibly can. I need you to drive me home. Then I need you to go round up the rest of WAD because you guys are playing."
"But I have work tonight," I said. She just stared at me.
"You ran over my best friend's dog."
"Fine," I sighed. I guess I could call in tonight.
"Good. I will organize the rest of the bands. I have a few favors to call in," she said, rubbing her hands together.
/\\/\\/\\/\\
"Gibbs, you are doing this for me," she had been arguing with him for a full five minutes. I couldn't hear what was being said on his side of the conversation, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to.
"Yes, and you can shove those sexual favors up your ass. You owe me, I don't owe you," she was using her stern voice. I couldn't tell if she was going to win this one, but I hoped she would. We needed some good acts for this concert, and Austin Gibbs would definitely qualify as a good act.
"Austin, can you please just do this one thing for me. No. Fine, I will add one more sexual favor to the pot. Two more? A mustache ride? Are you kidding me? That's so gross? You asshole. I will see you at five." She hung up the phone, grinning from ear to ear.
"He is so gross. There is no way he ever had a mother."
"Mustache ride?" I asked, intrigued.
"No way in hell. I just go along with it because it is the only way I can get him to do things. I never follow through."
"Who else are you going to try to get to play?" I asked. So far we had Walking After Dark and Austin Gibbs. Not exactly anything to write home about.
"I don't know yet, but I promise you, I will have a kick ass line-up by five. Thank you, Ben," she said, climbing out of my Jeep. "I will text you the details in a bit. I still have to figure out where we are even having this thing," she sighed. She had a lot of work coming her way, but I knew she would make it all work. She waved goodbye and ran into Julia's house. I threw my Jeep into reverse and called Andy, telling him to assemble an emergency band meeting. We had a lot of work to do.
/\\/\\/\\
"Get off of your lazy asses, we need to practice," I said, picking up my guitar, adjusting the strap to fit exactly how I wanted to.
"I can't," Andy said from the couch, behind his laptop. "There is too much koality stuff happening on tumblr right now."
"The fact that you actually say 'koality' makes me question why I am even friends with you," Sam, our drummer, said.
"Someone had a porn tape leak today on tumblr. Gifs have been made. It is someone I believe you know, bro."
"I know?" I asked.
"Maybe I could use it to my advantage," Andy said, deep in thought.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"None other than John O'Callaghan." Andy answered, unaware of the gawking face I was currently giving him.
"You are kidding me?"
"No way. Apparently he has been doing nothing but drinking and girls this whole tour," Andy shrugged.
"Was he aware that someone was filming him or?" I started, but then I realized that it was none of my business.
"Who knows," Andy closed his computer. "Maybe Peyton will want me now. If it's cool with you, bro."
"No, bro. It isn't. Get up. We have to practice. And don't tell Peyton about that. Not tonight."
/\\/\\/\\/\\
I drove our van to the directions Peyton gave us. The directions that led us to a field in the middle of a tiny wooded area. She had gotten a lot done, I would give her that. The stage was up, the speakers were good to go. There were tables set up for us to do signings or sell merch if we wished, which was pretty amazing. I climbed out of the van and set off to find her. It wasn't that hard, there was hardly anybody here. I wondered why. Was nobody coming? She looked incredible, of course. December in Arizona was cold, but it wasn't unbearable. She dressed appropriately in a long sleeve shirt with a vest over it, jeans and boots. Her sunglasses were shielding her eyes from the harsh sun, which was setting somewhere in the distance. She had a green clipboard in her hand, checking off things she had accomplished, going over things she still had to do.
"Hey," I said, trying not to sneak up on her, "need any help?"
"Uh," she said, still looking at her clipboard. She finally looked up and smiled. "Hey. Could you help by hanging some of these flyers," she paused, grabbing a handful of flyers from her computer bag. They had pictures of Daisy on them. They were actually pretty amazing looking. "Can you hang them on trees kind of leading in, make sure the kids know which direction to go."
"Sure." I said, looking at the flyers. I saw all of the other bands, none of which, I had ever met. "So these are the bands?"
"Well," she set down her clipboard on an amp. "Yeah. Do you want to meet them?"
"Sure," I nodded. We started walking across the field to where everyone was hanging out. They all looked comfortable with each other, like they were friends. I was nervous. I felt like I was crashing their party.
"Everyone," Peyton shouted when we got close enough for them to hear us, and they all seemed to go quiet instantly, "This is Ben. He is from Walking After Dark, the openers. The rest of his band are around here somewhere," she shrugged. "Make it a point to introduce yourselves to them. Ben, this is everyone. I'll just introduce bands and then you guys can introduce yourselves further." She started pointing them out. "That's Austin Gibbs, and then that's This Century. That's The Summer Set. A Rocket to the Moon. Uh, Brighten, and that's Fairline. I'm going to go find Julia. Guys I am about to tweet directions, you can all retweet me. Then we should start seeing people around 7. Show starts at 8. Shit, I left my clipboard." She looked frazzled. "The line-up will be Walking After Dark, Gibbs, Fairline, This Century, Brighten, The Summer Set, and then A Rocket to the Moon. Is everyone okay with this?" Everyone seemed to be okay, so Peyton skipped away, leaving me alone with six bands full of her closest friends. Oh, okay. Cool.
As soon as she left, they continued their conversation, which, to my dismay, was exactly what Andy was talking about at the apartment.
"Do you think Peyton knows about it yet?" some guy with dark hair from A Rocket to the Moon asked.
"Well, her best friend is married to my brother, so she may," the guy from Fairline shrugged.
"Has she said anything to you about it?" Austin asked me.
"No," I shook my head. "But she's in a really good mood guys, do you really think she knows about it?"
"Good point," Austin said.
"Wait, are you THE Ben?" the guy with Elvis hair and sunglasses from A Rocket to the Moon asked me.
"THE Ben?" I asked. "I guess I am?"
"Shit," almost all of them said.
Shit, indeed.
/\\/\\/\\/\\
I could only take so many questions of how it felt to get my heart stomped on by Peyton before I left. We did come up with a plan before I left though, one I was excited about.
I went to go find my band and make sure Andy wasn't hitting on Peyton. He was, of course. She was letting him though. You could tell he was getting on her nerves though. I decided I should go rescue her, it was the least I could do. Something about all of the questions though, all of the guys talking about the way Peyton dated both John and I at the same time, like I didn't already know about it, it just put me in a bad mood, but I had to push that aside. I grabbed Peyton's arm, excused ourselves from Andy, and dragged her away.
"Thank you," she sighed in relief.
"Sure," I said.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Sure." I nodded.
"Thank you again for playing Ben. Do you think we will raise enough money to pay for Daisy's surgeries?" I looked past her at the crowd already forming behind the barricade, waiting to get in. Our tweets had worked, and it wasn't even pushing 6 yet.
"Oh yeah, I am sure we will wing it."
Her phone started ringing and she pulled it out of her pocket, smiling at the screen. "Hey Garrett!" she answered, but her face immediately fell. "John?" She was quiet for a while, listening to what he had to say. "No. Don't come home. That would be stupid. You have a show tonight. Go play it."
I checked out of the conversation, giving her privacy. We needed to sound check soon. I left her to go find the rest of my band, we had a show to play.
/\\/\\/\\/\\
This was, without a doubt, the largest crowd we had ever played for. The kids were still pouring in, and I was getting nervous. I usually wasn't one for stage fright, but I literally couldn't remember how to make my legs move.
"Are you ready, bro?" Andy asked me. I nodded, because, yes, I was ready. I was excited. It was a chance to get our band heard. We were playing with some pretty well known bands tonight, and it was all because of Peyton, or rather the fact that I ran over Julia's dog, but there were A LOT of people out there.
"Show time!" Peyton said, scooting past me, and taking the stage. Last time I checked, she was the one with stage fright.
"How's everybody doing tonight?" she asked, adjusting the mic to her height. "Alright! That's what I like to hear. Thank you for coming out tonight. I know it was kind of last minute, but it's the first benefit concert I have ever put together, and we all just want to thank you for supporting the cause."
She went on for another minute or so, and then it was our time to play. I took a deep breath, turned around, did our pre-show chant, and took the stage. I plugged my guitar into the amp, and made sure it was tuned correctly before I introduced our band.
"How is everybody doing tonight?" I asked, and got the same response I always did, a half-assed, who the fuck are you, we will cheer for you because it is the polite thing to do, answer. We played a few songs, and Andy tried loosening them up by taking the wrong approach.
"So, everyone see John Ohh's sex tape?" he asked. The crowd lost it. Half of the girls were going crazy, half of them were booing. I looked sidestage at Peyton, who just rolled her eyes. Something told me she knew about it. I shot a death glare at Andy who shrugged it off. I pressed on with the show, but afterwards, I would kick his ass.
By the end of the set, we had the crowd in the palm of our hands, they were jumping, and throwing back as much energy as we were putting out and that was what I liked to see. It was, if I do say so myself, the best show we had ever played.
"Thank you," I said, unplugging my guitar from the chord, walking offstage and handing my guitar to the tech. As soon as we were out of view I punched Andy.
"What the fuck bro?"
"I was just loosening up the crowd!" he said, rubbing his arm.
"You are an asshole." I said, shaking my head.
"You guys were great," Peyton said, smiling at all of us, even Andy.
"Thank you," we all said. She nodded and went to go find Gibbs, who was probably nursing his 5th or 6th beer by now.
After much pushing, and much inappropriate touching on Austin's part, she finally got him on stage. I went to go find Julia, who told me that she could take over for a little while, because I needed to talk to Peyton.
"Come on," I said, grabbing her, and pulling her alongside me. I walked down the back stairs to the woods, where it was void of everything but trees and the two of us.
"Talk to me," I said, sitting down on a rock.
"About what?" she asked, sitting down on the ground a few feet away.
"I feel like there's something bothering you today, and when John called you, it seems like," I hesitated, trying to think of the right words, ones that wouldn't make her want to bite my head off. "I don't know. He made you frustrated."
"Because he does," she said with a shrug. "John O'Callaghan can sleep with as many girls as he wants, he can film it and stream it live on fucking stickam for all I care. We aren't together. It isn't my concern."
"So you did know?"
"Of course I knew. I have a tumblr. I am not dumb. Julia is married to Garrett, Ben. Kennedy calls me a lot to check on Olivia. I know what John does. I just don't see how what he does has to even do with me anymore. Why do you even care? I have been trying all day to make an effort with you, to be friends, and what did you tell me this morning? Oh, right. We were never friends."
"Because you hurt me, Peyton." I said, looking right at her, wanting her to get the full effect of what I was saying. "You can't just cheat on somebody and expect everything to be okay."
"I know," she said, biting her bottom lip. "And I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am that I put you through that."
"I didn't bring you out here to talk about that," I sighed. "I do want to be friends. It's hard work trying to be a dick, and that's not who I am. "
"You want to be friends?" she asked, like the words that were coming out of my mouth were a foreign language.
"I do."
"Good," she sighed, "Because I have a secret that I have to tell someone or I will explode. I tried to tell John and Kennedy before they left but I couldn't."
"Well, you can tell me." I smiled, relishing the fact that she already trusted me enough to tell me a secret she couldn't even tell Kennedy or John.
"I am leaving moving next week," she said, drawing patterns in the dirt with her finger.
"Why?" I asked. "Why next week? I mean it is December. Christmas is coming up. The Maine doesn't even come back for another two weeks what about Olivia?"
"Nick and Sophia are going to watch Olivia until Kennedy comes home," she answered, taking a deep breath. "I got signed to a label," she paused, letting what she said sink in. "I am moving to California to record. It won't be permanent. It's only for a little while."
"Wait a minute. You told me that you never wanted a career in the music business."
"Well, I didn't think that I could do it," she shrugged. "But both Julia and I are going to start recording next week. She isn't moving there, though. She is only coming up on the weekends. She couldn't be away from Will or Garrett that long. I, however, am committing to it. Full force."
"No shit," I said, dumbfounded. I was at a loss for words.
"I don't know," she said, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, "I just want to do something in my life that I am proud of. This may be it."
"I am sure it will be," I said, meaning it. She had talent, and I am sure she would make it far. I was almost jealous. I had been in and out of bands since 8th grade, trying to make a difference, but I was working at a bookstore, playing a band that didn't seem to be going anywhere. "How did you get signed?"
"Nick recorded some stuff with me a little while back. He gave it to someone, who gave it to someone, who gave it to someone who called me and bought me a plane ticket. I told him I couldn't do it without Julia. So he bought her one too."
"This is amazing," I said. She nodded, and we went quiet, listening to the cheers of the crowd as Austin finished his set.
"Someday I wonder if I will ever get applause like that, or people who actually want to come to our shows. It's frustrating, the amount of effort and heart that I put into this band, and how little I get in return." I said, finally telling someone how I felt after years of holding it in. "Is it ever going to go anywhere? Or is it always going to be just a hobby? I didn't go to college because ever since I was 10, I knew what I wanted to do."
"You are getting there, Ben," she said. "You are meeting people, you are getting your band heard. That's how you do it. Your day will come, I know it will."
"When your big and famous, will you let us open for you?" I joked.
"Of course," she laughed and stood up, offering her hand to me. We started making our way back to the stage.
/\\/\\/\\/\\
A Rocket to the Moon had just played their last song, but our plan was just about to kick into gear. "I know that those little flyers said that we were the last band," Nick said, unplugging his electric guitar and handing it to tech, who traded him for an acoustic, "but they lied." Peyton just looked at Julia, their confused faces mirroring each others.
"If you don't know who these next performers are, that's cool. You will know soon enough." Both Julia and Peyton started shaking their heads, and mouthing the word "no." Nick continued, "They're some of my best friends in the whole world, so if you could give them a hand. Julia, Peyton, come on." Both Halvo and I grabbed a stool and brought them onstage so the girls had somewhere to sit.
"We don't even have a set list and we haven't practiced," Peyton was whispering to Halvo and Nick as they tried to drag her onstage.
"Can't back out now," Nick winked at her.
"I hate you," she said, grabbing a bottle of water and walking onto the stage, snatching up the guitar and sitting down on the stool.
"Hi," she said into the mic.
"What do you feel like playing, Peyton?" Julia asked her.
"Uh, I don't know. Let's take some requests." Peyton said. It seemed like a million hands shot up into the air. "Oh god,"
"I don't even know who to pick," Peyton said.
"Play The Maine!" someone shouted.
"Okay, maybe that wasn't a good idea," Peyton said. "Julia, your pick. Go."
"I've gotta break out the Ryan Adams. Still know how to play 'Two'?" she asked. Peyton nodded. There was something about the combination of the song, and their voices that made the whole crowd shut up and listen, really listen. It was almost like magic. It was the first time I had ever heard them play together. As I looked at Nick and Halvo, who were just smiling, I was guessing they had already heard them play together, and they knew what magic their voices harnessed. And once they finally decided on which songs to play, the next four songs were no different. Peyton even picked a song by Pink Floyd, which personally made me happy.
I understood how Peyton and Julia got signed only after their short period of time dipping their toes in the pool that was the music industry. They were amazing. I watched Peyton as she hit every single note, even without warming up. She was a strong person, and a part of me wished that we could have worked out. A part of me was glad that we were only friends. I had a feeling that we would be really good friends for a while to come.
That night we raised $6,458.98.
That night we raised enough money to pay for the surgery for a dog that I had run over that morning. It is crazy how much can happen in the span of a few hours. Don't ever take your life for granted. Amazing things can happen if you let them.