To reveal is one of the hardest things to do, especially in a time where you fear anger and agony. Hoshiko knew this well. As she gazed at her male demon companions converse quietly in a corner of her hut but watching her she wondered how life fell apart like this. She knew it was shocking to discover she was well. It was even more shocking she'd lived this long. Hoshi was supposed to have died long ago; perhaps 200 years ago the night the Master had died. She winced at that. Should she, Hoshi, have died the night he also perished? When he had risked himself to save her from her stupid mistake? She should have. But she didn't, and she was still kicking at life. Sometimes, she wished she had joined him in death. She belonged to him as Rin belonged to Sesshomaru. She sighed heavily as dusk approached. Her time was drawing to a close of secrecy. She wanted to hold her secret close to her heart and refuse to open it, it was only painful, but she knew it must be done. Her friends, her family, her Sesshomaru and Rin deserved to know. She could not hide from them. They had earned her trust. Her secret could not remain hidden forever.
Rin had returned by this time. She had been surprised to find they had guests, Myoga, Saya, and Totosai, but she had greeted them warmly. It had been some time since she had last seen them. But she could sense the curiosity and wonder to why they were here. She had never asked, though. Hoshiko watched her pup interact with her guardians. Finally, she found herself gazing into the dusk once again. She was lost in her thoughts. Her silence was getting disturbing for such a lively person. She finally heard footsteps approaching. A shadow passed over her as her pup went out to greet the others. No one spoke to her. She listened for a moment to a low whispered conversation they had hoped she could not hear.
"What is all this about," Kagome murmured.
"I don't know," her pup whispered. "She won't tell me."
"Has she been like this all day?"
"Hai. She hasn't slept and barely eats."
She barely heard what they whispered about as she tuned them out. It wasn't any matter to listen to what she already knew. Hoshiko slowly traced a design with her talon into her upper arm. She didn't even turn to welcome her guests but she heard conversations start and drift to a close. A single tear dripped down her cheek. The sun slowly turned a blood red in the sky. It reminded her of a time long ago, when she was in his presence. Her inner demon tried to resist the memory and she denied it as well, but it consumed their minds. They flashed back into time.
Hoshiko gazed into the dark blood red setting sun. She was completely still. The only sound was the leaves rustling on the ground. It was Autumn now. It was surprising to her she had survived the wound that would have been fatal had he not been there. Her hand brushed her lower ribs, where a spear had gotten a perfect hit.
"Hoshi."
She turned to look at Father. His head was tilted as he gazed at her with what she guessed was concern. The demoness turned her body toward him.
"Father?"
"What ails you?"
"It just hurts," she murmured. "This wound has gotten the better of me. I should have died from it."
He sighed. Why wouldn't she ever understand he'd protect her from all what desired to harm her? The Inu No Taisho stalked toward her. Hoshi just stared at him until he was no more than a foot away from her. His golden eyes narrowed upon her angel like face. He never liked it when she spoke of her death so easily, so expectedly.
"Why did you not tell me it hurt you?"
"You told me to be strong. You taught me to fight. I couldn't show weakness, father. I have learned to fight for myself."
He frowned deeply.
"I told you those things. I taught you those things," he replied darkly. "But you forgot one thing. I will always protect you, even from yourself."
She was stunned into silence.
She inhaled sharply when the memory ended. It was in that moment she knew. He would always protect her, even from herself, from everything around them. He saved her life that day. Again. He taught her to be strong and all, but she had forgotten what he had told her after all those things. He'd protect her. The Inu No Taisho would never let death get his hands on her. She sighed mentally. He would never keep that promise, either. Suddenly, she felt a sharp tap on her hip.
"Momma?"
The demoness turned lightly on her heel to gaze at her adopted pup. Rin stared back but she could see her expression gleaming in those big and worried brown eyes. She looked heartbroken but her eyes shined with pain and sorrow. She was falling apart. But there were no tears upon her cheeks. For the first time ever, she was not crying at the memories. She looked at her pup with the most love she could muster.
"Hai?"
"Everyone is here," she whispered. "Except Dad."
Hoshiko knew he would not be long, she could smell him even from here. He was coming from the south. But her gaze still drifted to the sun again. Had time passed so quickly? This day had flown by so quickly with so much pain. Pain makes the time fly by, she knew that. She quickly turned to see who was here. Kagome and Inuyasha sat next to Sango and Miroku, who had their children with them. Shippo sat next to the hanyou. Kaede had taken up a place by the fire to warm her cold limbs. Minoru and Sakura sat at the other side of the hut against the far wall. To her surprise even Jaken was here, close by the two demons. She slowly made her way by the fire and sat down on a mat she'd placed there, facing the others. Totosai and the other two old demons had sat by her, or rather by her right shoulder. Kagome caught her eye. She knew the question before it was spoken from the miko's mouth.
"Hoshi," she asked. "Why are we here?"
"I will tell you in a moment. Please, let us wait for Lord Sesshomaru."
"Alright."
"Hoshi," Miroku suddenly spoke up. "Are you better from what ails you?"
She met the monk's even gaze with her own. Her gaze challenged his but at the same time held such agony he wondered how much pain she had bound inside her heart. She didn't appear to be falling to her own misery anymore. She appeared stronger.
"I will be, monk."
Everyone blinked at that. She would be? Before anyone could question her the demon lord strode slowly into the hut. Sesshomaru observed the others for a moment. Suddenly, her gaze was filled with a pair of cold golden eyes. Hoshiko returned his look. She never feared the demon lord.
"You called a meeting," he drawled lowly.
"Hai. Please sit, Sesshomaru. This is of most urgency and must be discussed."
Sesshomaru gazed at her for another moment before taking a place beside his pup, Rin, who had sat by Shippo. There was a long moment of silence as she gathered her thoughts. She took a deep breathe.
"My friends," she murmured. "I know now is far from the right time for me to discuss this but even against my wishes, I must. I cannot stifle it out any longer."
"What do you mean," Sango asked.
"You have kept no secrets from me. I have done the opposite. I have hid myself into the deep darkness that is my mind and refused to come out. But now, I cannot hide."
"And your point," Sakura asked kindly.
"You have all told me your pasts," Hoshiko continued sadly. "You told me all about your battles with Naraku and all that has occurred since then. You kept nothing out. You hid nothing from me and I have failed to return the favor. Hai, I have told you about my parents, Kasumi and Daiki, and how they died. I told you I was alone for many years. But then I leave this gap of at least 5 centuries out. I have not told you my full story."
"Wait," Kagome gasped with amazement. "Does this mean you are going to –"
"Hai," Hoshiko interrupted. "I am here to tell you my past, all of it. No more secrets."
Everyone stared in shock. The demoness met their gazes sadly but bravely but she looked to the ceiling. She could feel the deep shock in every fiber of her being. She was going to tell them at long last? At last, her past brought to light? No more secrets? A heavy sigh filled the silence.
"I am going to tell you my story so listen well my friends," she whispered to them. "You all deserve to know. I cannot hide from you anymore."
Sesshomaru gazed at his demoness with surprise in his eyes. She was finally opening up and her story brought to light. He could smell the eagerness from the others. Even he shared it. To finally know her background is what he had always wanted to know. He wouldn't admit it, but he was a curious demon, and he didn't show it often. Hoshiko had gotten his full attention. Although, he preferred it honestly if she'd told him and Rin first. Perhaps she only wanted to say it once?
"It began when I was born," Hoshiko began. "You all are fully aware I was conceived from a forbidden love and because of this my parents were both murdered for this betrayal. I do not remember them much. Their deaths do not trouble me, not at all. I understand their sacrifice."
"It truly began over 5 centuries ago, 41 years after both my parents had perished. I walked alone. At this time I had recently only healed from a broken leg and was starving. I was hunting for food. So desperate I did not sense the danger lingering around me. I came across a garden full of many berries to eat and I feasted hungrily. But I did not see them. Suddenly I was surrounded by demons, everywhere. They laughed at me and mocked me. They raised their weapons and gloated they would kill me and bring pride to their ally, the sea serpents.
Hoshiko's voice faltered for a moment but she shook her head and continued.
"I ran for my dear life. I ran like I could never stop but my wounded leg slowed me until I could run no more. It hurt me deeply. I tried to escape but in my clumsiness I was slammed into a tree and my leg broke again. Unable to run, I tried to kill them. I was losing. I was dying from the loss of blood. I had already been weak from before."
Her eyes closed from pain. No one spoke.
"Then he came," she whispered. "The leader of the band of demons raised his sword to kill me but he never got close, never even realized he was there. He dropped lifeless before me. I did not understand until I looked up into his eyes. My Savior."
"Was it your adopted father," Sango asked gently.
"Hai," Hoshiko answered quietly. "I watched as he slayed each demon before him like he was no more a fly. I watched them die on his sword, unable to protect themselves from his great power and speed. I could not believe it. He was protecting me!"
No one spoke still.
"Finally the demons ran for their lives when they realized it was a done battle, he had won once his feet touched ground. He came to me. I finally got a good look at his face and I dimly remember thinking he was utterly gorgeous. But then I felt threatened. I growled at him and refused him to get near me but after slow approaches, I realized he wasn't going to hurt me. Finally I allowed him near. He helped me reset my broken leg and picked me up, running with me. I couldn't believe it. A demon, like him, was helping me! For the first time ever, I with my stained bloodline had been saved."
Hoshiko fell silent for a moment as her talon dug lightly into her arm. She ignored the single tear sliding down her cheek. Everyone was surprised when Totosai placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but even more so when she placed her hand onto his. Her eyes closed again. Her lips moved wordlessly for a moment before she seemed to muster enough will to speak.
"I'm fine, Totosai."
The demon gazed worriedly at her for a moment. She was far from fine. But he did not release his grip on her shoulder but she didn't seem to mind. She began again with a sad voice. She squeezed her guardians hand for comfort.
"I gazed into his face. The handsome face that I knew held such power and glory I did not understand why he'd protect a hybrid. He did not drop me. He didn't even seem repulsed he was holding me!
She frowned for a moment.
"Who was he, Hoshiko."
She did not even look up to see who had asked. It wasn't just that person, it was everyone gazing upon her who wanted to know. She looked up at them with tearful eyes and gritted her teeth. She had to say his name. She looked away as she squeezed Totosai's hand tighter, she had never realized how much she needed him or the other two. He gave her a comforting squeeze back gently. Myoga appeared at her other shoulder and placed a hand against her neck. He gazed at her with kindness.
"His name," she whispered dimly before repeating. "His name is agonizing to remember. But I cannot deny giving you an answer. His name was Toga. But that was not the name he was known by."
No one spoke as they stared at her.
"The name he was known by. . . The demon who raised me. . .His name was Inutaisho. The Great Dog Demon himself and none other than the Great General. The greatest demon that ever lived. The former Lord of the West, the Inu No Taisho.
Dead shock. No one spoke as everyone gaped at her like fish. Except Sesshomaru. She did not meet his gaze. How could she say anything to him? She could sense his shock. There was just shock in the air from every being in this room. She waited for a response.
"That is impossible," Jaken finally cried.
Hoshiko glared at the imp but before she could speak, Myoga overrode her. She barely heard the old flea's words. She couldn't have ever been happier she had them here to be her witnesses to her reality. To give truth of her past and support her.
"It is true," the flea replied for her. "I knew her from that time and that is how I met her. She did accompany our Master, for over 3 centuries in fact. She does not lie to you. She is the adopted daughter of the Inu No Taisho, his deepest secret."
More stunned silence. Hoshiko lowered her head enough to avoid everyone's gazes. She didn't want to see the expressions she was getting. It was enough she had to deal with her own emotions, how she longed that their own would not disturb her. She loved them all and to have them hate her by the end of this would destroy the fragile heart she had.
"You knew my old man," Inuyasha stuttered out.
She looked at the hanyou with agonized eyes.
"I knew him far more than you will understand. He raised me. He was my adopted father. He provided for me and took care of my needs. He never judged me by my bloodline, Inuyasha. He cared for me," she answered softly.
"He did more than care for you," Myoga spoke up. "He loved you, Hoshiko. I have never seen him treat another as he treated you. You gave the Inu No Taisho a reason to fight and someone to protect."
Hoshiko hesitated for a moment but before she could speak, he began again.
"Your relationship you had with the Master I will never understand, Hoshi. It was as deep as blood, clear as the cleanest pond, and as strong as the toughest rock. The way you two understood and cared for each other is incomparable."
"Even I never understood it," Hoshi returned quietly. "He was simply my best friend, my only companion. He listened to me all the time. He cared for my needs and ensured I was happy in his company. He protected me from the world. The Inu No Taisho was the father I needed."
"That cannot be," Sesshomaru suddenly spoke up. "I would know if you accompanied my father."
"Sesshomaru, I know this is hard for you to believe. Tell me something. Do you remember a young child cloaked in black with a white mask upon their face? The child stood at your father's side. When he came to the palace where your mother resided to see you and your mother? Do you not recall the small child at his side?"
Sesshomaru stared for a moment as he thought about it. Suddenly, he remembered. He remembered a small child no bigger than his father's upper thigh wearing a black kimono and cloak. They wore a white mask. The eyes behind them were midnight blue. The child never spoke to him and barely to his mother, but seemed at ease at his father's side. He was in disbelief for a moment but his expression never wavered. He was neutral.
"That was you?"
"Hai. I even have proof," she stated as she held up the very mask he remembered.
He frowned deeply at that. How could he have not known? But then again, that had been the only time he had ever seen the child. He couldn't believe it. She had dead proof in her hands. He remembered too when he had smelled at the unknown child, no scent. It was like they were a ghost.
"Why did you not tell me," he growled.
"You would have not believed me, nor did you like humans or half breeds at the time am I correct? That is why your father hid me from you."
He winced internally.
"In a way I cannot believe you did not remember at first. I believed he introduced me as Shi, correct?"
"Indeed he did," he answered lowly.
"Hoshiko. Hoshiko. Hoshi. Hoshi."
He looked away but she could not read his expression anymore. He seemed.. angry and upset. With another deep pained sigh she began again. No matter how much this damaged her, she would not fall back. She would tell them, all of them. Her pain beat in her chest.
"I accompanied him for many years after that. He allowed me to follow in his footsteps, a hybrid, with no malice toward me. He gave me everything I needed. A friend, a brother, a father. He tended to my needs, ensured my happiness and safety. He kept me hidden from nearly everyone, very few knew I followed him."
She faltered for a moment.
"Then it changed after 3 centuries of just him and I. The world changed as I knew it. We met a human girl named Izayoi," she said as her eyes went to Inuyasha.
"You knew Inuyasha's mother," Kagome gasped.
"How could I not, Kagome," she answered quietly. "I was with Father all the time. I mean Inutaisho. We met by a twist of fate and I will be honest with you; I hated her at first."
Hoshiko frowned deeply at those words she spoke.
"I hated her for taking Father's attention away from me. I hated her for changing my life the way I knew it and I feared he would abandon me for her. It scared me. For a year this continued, Inutaisho and Izayoi meeting in secret, before he forced me to meet her. I was displeased and angry. I did not want anything to do with her. I hated her for ruining my life."
"Then it changed," she whispered. "One day Inutaisho had left to tend to a short matter and I stayed behind as I was wounded from an earlier battle. I heard Izayoi scream. I did not care at first. I hated her. But then I thought of Father and the mere thought of his anger and sorrow sent me running to the human woman's aid. She was running from a demon when I got to her. I killed the foolish creature but I had been injured badly again. Izayoi, instead of leaving me, helped me to my feet and got me back to my camp."
She faltered again with tears pooling in her eyes.
"She was so kind to me," she hissed. "I had been rude to her, but she was kind anyway. She helped me tend my wounds before I tended to hers. After that, I realized what a good soul she was. I was kinder to her after that and Inutaisho was in my debt. We slowly became friends and shared Father. I was okay with that."
"One day though, I noticed something. Izayoi began to get shy around Father and blush when he got too close. Inutaisho began to be more compassionate toward her."
Hoshiko smiled softly at long last, but in pain. Tears slipped down her cheeks now.
"I realized they were falling in love," she murmured affectionately. "I could see it in their body language and the gestures they gave to each other. The way they watched each other, I saw it in their eyes. But they refused to admit it, the stubborn fools. So one day, I took care of that."
She chuckled quietly.
"What did you do," Myoga suddenly asked. He had never known this.
"I tripped Izayoi when they were on a walk," she answered quietly amused. "But I quickly tripped Inutaisho after he caught her and let's say they ended up in a suggestive position. The look on their faces was priceless."
She grinned wickedly as she bounced her eyebrows mischievously. For a moment, her pain was forgotten. Everyone tried not to laugh. Sesshomaru frowned deeply. So she was one of the motivators for it? She hadn't been fully at fault for the way his father fell for the human woman, but she did quicken the process.
"They couldn't resist themselves. They finally kissed, stubborn fools," she said as she shook her head. "Then they grew very attached to each other more so after that. They really cared and loved each other. I have never seen another love in comparison."
"Then they began doing things I did not understand. Let us just say things that make babies. They had to explain that to me because I was naïve. Inutaisho never explained it to me because I had never had a reason to know about that. Anyway, one day Izayoi got very sick. She was throwing up frequently and far paler than normal. She was always tired. So I examined her and discovered she was pregnant."
Hoshiko's eyes drifted to Inuyasha. Her next words were for him alone.
"You should have seen how happy your father was when he found out the news. He was thrilled for another child," she murmured to him. "Although it did place your mother in more danger, he promised to protect her. They were so happy. Inuyasha, your parents would be so proud of you."
No one spoke as they gazed at Inuyasha. His face hardened in response but his eyes revealed pain. Hoshiko returned her gaze to the ceiling and continued. Her eyes were saddened.
"After that Father grew very protective of his human mate. He even growled at me several times when I was too close to Izayoi. One day though I got too close for his liking and before he could restrain his inner demon, he attacked me. I could not defend myself in time."
"What," the three older demons behind her cried.
"Hai, the Inu No Taisho attacked me. He felt threatened by my talons so close to Izayoi's large belly," she whispered as she gazed at her talons in thought. "His claws tore into the left side of my face and I in a panic ran away. Izayoi screamed at him before following me. She helped me tend to the wound and actually hid me in her room for 3 days refusing to let Inutaisho see me. I admired her strength and bravery against her own mate."
"How is that possible," Myoga cried. "The Master would never harm you!"
"Myoga, you should have seen his face after he attacked me. He was so agonized he stayed away from me for a day before trying to locate me. He wanted to apologize. He never wanted to hurt me. His inner demon attacked me. Izayoi however refused until he got in with some persuasion but I was so scared I cried. After that, I wouldn't allow him too close to me. I was so scared of the one demon who had protected me for so long."
She bit her lip as another tear slipped down her cheek.
"One day I finally spoke to him about it and I forgave him. But the damage was still done; I was always weary after that. Suddenly he had to go attend to a small matter with a nearby clan and after a goodbye to Izayoi and a promise to return in time for the birth, we left. But that became our downfall."
Myoga knew what happened after this, he had been with her after all. Her eyes found his in pain.
"I was in a field picking flowers with Myoga while Father attended to a matter with another demon. Then, the monster appeared. The demon I was always warned to stay away from. Ryukotsusei."
She clenched her fists in anger at the thought of the large dragon demon. Everyone's eyes widened at her words.
"Ryukotsusei," Inuyasha hissed.
"Indeed. He had somehow gotten word of a hybrid accompanying the great Inu No Taisho and they had deep feelings for each other. In my foolishness, I made a mistake I will forever mourn."
"Hoshiko do not begin this foolishness," Myoga suddenly snapped. "Remember what I told you!"
"It does not matter! I made the choice that would destroy everything!"
"Hoshiko, it was not your fault!"
"YES IT IS," she shrieked. "IT IS MY FAULT THE INU NO TAISHO'S DEAD!"
"What," Sesshomaru growled.
"It is my fault," she now whispered. "It is my choice that destroyed the Inu No Taisho. He is dead because of me."
Silence. Dead silence. Everyone stared at her in horror. It couldn't be! How could it be her fault the Inu No Taisho died? She saw their expressions. She took a long breathe.
"Inu No Taisho told me to run away if I saw him. He told me to stay far away from him. I disobeyed. I tried to battle him, but I failed. He knocked me out. I couldn't even match his power and he took me away, as his bait. To bring Father to him to destroy him, they hated each other. Although they had never even met. Ryukotsusei wanted to defeat the most powerful demon of his age. Myoga ran to the Master and told him what had happened, then – "
"I have never seen the Master so angry," Saya suddenly said interrupting her. "When Myoga told him Hoshiko had been kidnapped by his enemy he grew so enraged and upset he took off immediately. He couldn't bear it if Hoshi was harmed because she was merely in his company. He had promised he would protect her. Even if she had disobeyed his direct order."
She stared at them for a moment before she began to cry.
"H-he came after me," Hoshiko sobbed. "Father came to my rescue. He lunged forward to protect me not caring for his welfare! He didn't even care that I started this! I had to watch them battle so fiercely the whole land shook from their anger. Soon, Ryukotsusei began to realize they were an even match and it was hard to upper hand the other. But Ryukotsusei was stronger than he was still, Inu No Taisho was however strong enough to fend him off. Suddenly, he knew the deep weakness against the Inu No Taisho and the one thing that could help bring him down quicker. He lunged for me. He killed me."
There was silence as this sank in.
"You died," Minoru gasped.
"I did. Sesshomaru, the sword you have. I was revived with that very sword. The Tenseiga. Your father watched me die before his eyes and I do not know the turn of events from there except he got injured. I do know he was enraged by my death. That gave him the energy to seal Ryukotsusei. He had two reasons for sealing the dragon demon; he could not defeat him as the dragon demon was too powerful for him to subdue and there was only so much time before I could not be revived. So instead he sealed the demon. I woke up in his arms. I did not realize I died until I saw he was still holding the Tenseiga. I saw the terrible wound. I had become his downfall, he had to rescue me. I brought him down for my mistake!"
Hoshiko had died. She had been revived by the Tenseiga, just like Rin. She had died before and that meant, if she died again, she was gone. The Tenseiga could revive a person only once. One foolish choice had led to the death of a powerful demon, it was unbelievable. She stood up and began to remove the top part of her kimono. The males started as the females were horrified.
"What are you doing," Saya asked.
"Showing you my mark I still have from my death. It is a constant reminder of what I did. Of my mistake I made so long ago that led to the death of the Inu No Taisho himself."
The top part of the kimono fell away revealing her bound upper chest covering her breasts. But that was not the one that caught everyone's attention. A scar, at least 2 inches wide, started from her left shoulder and ended at her right hip. She ran a talon down the dark pink scar.
"Kagome, remember when I refused to bathe with you and Sango," she asked lowly. "This is why. I could not bear it if you asked me how I received such a wound. I was afraid of my past."
Kagome blinked in response to that. That was her reason, she hadn't wished for them to see the scar? Of course! It was linked to her past! But she was still in shock she had accompanied the Inu No Taisho. Sesshomaru's and Inuyasha's father. Her adoptive father. The demoness pulled her kimono back together with a sad sigh.
"Then he told me Izayoi had been taken by Takemaru, Izayoi's human fiancé. We flew like the wind. We could not let her or Father's son die. But the bleeding, oh the horrible bleeding! The blood dripped onto the ground and soon all I could smell was his blood."
She rocked herself back in forth in her misery.
"He wouldn't stop to allow me to tend to it. He was already so weakened from his battle with Ryukotsusei, I cannot believe he could go for so long. He had used so much of his power to seal the dragon demon. We ran. We ran so hard our muscles burned and we ached from the agony we received. Still we ran. Finally, we got whiff of Sesshomaru approaching."
Her eyes slid to the demon lord.
"We stopped at the beach to await you," she murmured to him. "But your Father made me hide in the trees. He did not want you to see me; we knew you loathed humans and half breeds. I saw your last moments with your father, Lord Sesshomaru. I heard every word spoken. Why did you not stop him?
Sesshomaru frowned deeply at her when she spoke to him about his last moments with his father. They were not pleasant. He had loathed his father for mating a human and having a child with her no less! To think, Hoshiko had been there in the shadows all along. She had watched him from afar. His mate, his future mate.
"I told him, I would not stand in his way," he replied coldly.
Something flashed in her eyes.
"I remember you told him that," she answered.
Without another word to him she turned back to the others sadly. Tears now streamed openly down her face. She did not falter, however. She stayed strong, she would hold on till the end!
"Inu No Taisho took off to save his mate. I followed him. I remember Myoga telling me to stop him," she said as she frowned at the flea demon for a moment. "I just ran with him. I did not care. Both Father and I knew, he was dying; we could not change the damage done. Nothing could stop it."
Her eyes closed in pain as she sobbed.
"The last time I ever saw him was before he left to save Izayoi. He hesitated; he didn't wish to leave me. I told him to go. I told him to save his mate, his love, and his newborn son. To watch him leave me was agonizing. To give him that final hug goodbye was tearing my heart apart," she whispered as her lip trembled. "Then like that, he was gone. The Inu No Taisho died protecting his human mate and newborn son, Inuyasha. He raced to where they were holding Izayoi and cut down the soldiers there. He cut down Takemaru. They battled to the death as Izayoi escaped with Inuyasha, their son. I watched as the burning building fell to the ground. I never saw him again. My heart shattered the moment he died."
She trembled in agony but continued, her voice faltering.
"I found Izayoi and Inuyasha. I took them into my protection and accompanied them to a nearby human village to ensure their safety. Once there, I ensured they were stable enough, and I left. My pain was so unbearable I did not want them to see how shaken and torn up I was from his death. I had fallen."
"I returned after several years. I found Izayoi, her hair showing some gray, and Inuyasha no more than a 6 year old. I stayed with them for at least a year. Then, Izayoi asked me to do something I never thought would be possible."
There was a long silence as she stared blankly at the wall. She seemed to have lost her voice. There was a distance in her eyes that it was like she could no longer see them before her. Lost into her own mind once again and into the whirling dark torment that was her own agony. Her lips moved wordlessly.
"What did she ask you to do," Kagome finally whispered.
"She asked me to raise Inuyasha," said Hoshiko's heartbroken whisper after a small silence.
"What!"
"The day before I left again she pulled me aside and begged me to take Inuyasha into my care and protection after she perished to her old age. She said she and Toga had discussed it and there was no one else they would choose to raise him. They trusted me with their son. It brought tears to my eyes. I promised I would raise Inuyasha, dammit!"
She slammed her fist down in anger as she fumed in her agony. Everyone stared at her. She bit her own tongue to stifle her cries. For a long moment she was silent as she got grips on herself. She sighed heavily.
"I promised I would raise Inuyasha before I left," she whispered brokenly. "The next day I left. I was gone far longer than I thought. When I returned for Inuyasha, he was gone. Izayoi was dead."
She heaved in her agony for a moment. Her eyes grew panicked and pained.
"I searched for Inuyasha for 3 years. I searched. I ran till my feet dripped with blood. I couldn't find him! I failed my promise! Finally, after so long, I couldn't bear the agony. I'd lost them. Father, Izayoi, Inuyasha. All of them! I couldn't stand it! I was completely alone!"
She dug her talons into the wood below her.
"I was so agonized and tortured I couldn't bear the memories. In my agony I went to a demon that was known for making special herb remedies. I requested one that would make me forget. Erase my memory. Make me forget everything."
Her eyes found her three guardians behind her, who stared at her in horror.
"I learned how to make it and once made, I drank. I drank until the pain was gone, the memories blurred. I no longer remembered. For 200 years I drank the sake. My life is so worthless and pointless during that time. I only traveled and battled. I did however defend the western lands, although in secret. I did not want to remember, though. To drink was the only way to escape the pain. Then one night, over 200 years later, I was attacked in a storm by two dragons determined to kill me. I escaped, but I crash landed. I was found by a human child."
She looked to Rin with understanding eyes, and Rin knew. Everyone else understood. It was Rin who had changed everything that day so long ago she had come across the broken demoness.
"Rin determined my fate that day," she whispered. "The more time I spent with her began to alter me to such a degree I began to change. I forgot to keep drinking my sake. She freed me from my torment. But I never realized I would meet Inu No Taisho's sons. I never thought you would be alive, Inuyasha. I never knew you could come to change, Sesshomaru."
The brothers were stunned. Hoshiko had known their father and been raised by him. She had been the only one who be brought up by him, despite the fact he was their blood father. They'd been raised by their mothers. She stared at them with a heartbroken look and knew she understood their inner conflict. Inuyasha couldn't believe it. He was supposed to be brought up by Hoshiko? Sesshomaru was stunned she even knew their father, let alone raised by him. Everything suddenly made sense. Her reaction back at the castle, her inner conflict whenever he mentioned his father. The world made sense now.
"Sesshomaru, Inuyasha," she cried. "I'm so sorry! So sorry!"
She burst into tears at her last words and before anyone could respond, she got up and walked out of the hut her hands clamped over her heart. Once into the dark night, she took off running without a glance behind her. Her agony had finally consumed her.
This is the longest chapter ever T.T But I'm proud of it! Do you agree that it is Hoshiko's fault that Inu No Taisho was forced to fight Ryokotsesui before he meant to and her fault he ran to his death? After all, she did choose to FIGHT the dragon demon instead of running away! This is why she blames herself! I hope you enjoy this, PLEASE REVIEW! Next chapter, what will Sesshomaru finally say or react?