Chapter Twenty Nine:

Sacrificial Lamb

She drifted in and out, waking for short periods of time.

With each glimpse around the room, she caught sight of him sitting beside her. Sometimes, she felt his hand stroking her hair. Other times, she felt his lips on her forehead.

"I'm sorry, Sara," he whispered like a mantra.

Her fever soared higher as she struggled to remain conscious.

Grissom tried to comfort her as best as he could but he knew she was getting worse.

He felt hopeful when Doc finally returned with the antidote.

"You'll need to hold her," advised Doc.

Sara's eyes fluttered open. She grew alarmed when Grissom's hands pinned her down.

"Don't," her voice weak.

Grissom was surprised that she was fully awake now.

"It's okay," soothed Grissom as he kissed her on the forehead causing her to shrink away from the endearment.

It hurt him but he knew that he deserved it.

There was no excuse for his treatment of her.

He'd been enraged with jealousy over the thought that she might have given her self to someone.

His behavior had been despicable and he wasn't sure whether she could ever forgive him.

At the moment he just wanted to ease her pain.

"I love you," Grissom whispered. "We have an antidote."

She exhaled as if she were having difficulty breathing but managed to say one word, "Risk."

Grissom gulped, regretful for his hateful words. "It was said out of anger, Sara. Forgive me. I didn't mean it," he whispered in her ear as he kissed her.

"What does she mean?" whispered Doc.

"Doc…please help her. She's weaker."

She saw the needle in Doc's hand.

"Sara…I need you to be very still," warned Doc.

She nodded but then began to cry out when he injected the concoction into her abdomen.

Grissom held her firmly, apologizing for having to do so.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he whispered over and over.

She whimpered but then went limp.

"Her pulse is steady," soothed Doc as he monitored her vitals.

"My God…look Gil!" stated Doc as the wounds began to heal instantly.

Grissom smiled, wiping his forehead.

Thank you Heather…

An hour passed as they watched each of the bruises and cuts heal.

She moaned slightly.

"Sara?" whispered Grissom. "You're healing…open your eyes and look!"

Her eyes opened but his smile faded as she clamped onto his hand, bracing from the onslaught of the abdominal cramp.

"What's wrong?" Grissom asked.

"Cramp…ing," she moaned.

"It could be a side effect," cautioned Doc. "Sara…just lie still and…"

She screamed as another one tore through her.

Her hands gripped Grissom's and he shifted her into his arms.

"I'm here, Sara. Just hold my hand," he soothed.

"Oh…oh…it hurts," she cried. "It feels like…my insides are…"

Sara felt a warm gush between her legs.

"Doc! She's bleeding!" yelled Grissom.

The blood soaked the bed as she screamed through another cramp.

Doc glanced at Grissom. "Gil…this looks like a miscarriage," he whispered.

Sara panted through the pain. "Baby?" she cried.

"Sara…did you know you were pregnant?" asked Doc.

"No…no…I…," she screamed once more as she gripped Grissom's hand, fighting through another cramp.

"There was nothing in the blood work to indicate she was," grieved Doc.

"Baby…Doc…can…you do anything?" she cried.

"Sara…I'm going to fold your legs together…resist the urge to push…maybe…"

Her scream halted the conversation as she felt something slide out of her.

"No..no..no.." she cried as she saw the unborn fetus.

Doc quickly covered it but her eyes remained fixed on the small bundle.

Her body shivered violently.

Doc grabbed something from his bag.

"What are you doing?" asked Grissom.

"I need to stop the bleeding," urged Doc. "Gil…" he didn't finish as Doc's eyes glanced to Sara and then at the small towel that contained the remnants of the pregnancy.

Grissom pulled Sara's head into his chest blocking her from the grim sight.

Sobs tore from her as Grissom cradled her.

She didn't flinch when the needle pricked her skin.

Gradually she relaxed in his arms.

He kissed her closed lids, grateful she was now unconscious and not able to see the small bundle in Doc's hands.

Grissom wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Doc…she wouldn't even be in her first trimester…the fetus appears to be much older in gestation," whispered Grissom. "Sara…Sara was a virgin…there is no way…"

"By human calculations it would be four to five months…from the size of it. Gil, perhaps their offspring…grow faster than humans. Did Gracen ever…"

"There were so few births…he never mentioned it."

"A boy," Doc stated softly.

"A son?" Grissom choked.

"I'm sorry. The fetus probably couldn't survive the trauma of the…bite marks…or the antidote."

Doc grabbed a towel, removing the remnants of the pregnancy.

"The bleeding is slowing," whispered Doc. "Sara's body seems to be healing itself. We should try to remove the blood…it's better if she didn't see any of this."

Grissom nodded numbly as he continued to hold her in his arms.

She woke a few hours later.

Her eyes opened and for a moment she thought it had been a nightmare but as soon as her eyes drifted to Grissom, she knew that it had happened.

They had lost a child.

She was now dressed in a gown, the bed linens changed as well.

She took a ragged breath, asking for water.

The cool drink felt good on her dry lips.

It seemed to pour straight to the pit of her stomach causing a slight nauseated feeling.

"Drink slowly," cautioned Grissom.

Doc appeared, poking and prodding in his gentle manner, giving his condolences but she tuned out his voice as well as her surroundings.

The physical pain had now been replaced by an emotional one as she considered what it would have been like to have a child, Grissom's child.

Doc was being Doc by telling her that the miscarriage did not indicate she could not get pregnant again. The fact that she had gotten pregnant was a miracle and now it was gone.

It wasn't supposed to happen and yet she watched the life gush out of her and a deep heart wrenching ache replaced it.

She nodded to whatever Doc was saying, too engrossed in her emotional pain.

He patted her hand and then disappeared into the other room, giving them some privacy.

She didn't know what to do with the ache.

"I'm sorry, Sara. I've never acted like that before...there's no excuse for how I treated you," he wept.

"You thought..."

"Yes...and I had no reason to think that way. I was so blind with rage...over the thought that you'd been with someone I didn't think."

His hand took hers holding it tight, "I didn't mean any of the things I said. They were said out of anger."

"I'm sorry," he said over and over but his words did not seem to help ease any of the pain that she was feeling.

She couldn't deal with the anger she felt for him while trying to comprehend what she'd just been through.

The strange feelings over the past few weeks suddenly made sense but it had been too late.

Their child was dead.

She lay there until she heard a quiet sob coming from beside the bed.

She turned her head, swallowing her own tears as Grissom tried to wipe away the wetness on his cheeks.

"It was a boy," he whispered.

She nodded but could not find the words to respond.

His eyes pleaded for some kind of response but she wasn't ready to verbalize her grief.

He tried to coax her into a conversation but she remained quiet, her body stiffened with each caress.

"I don't blame you if you pull away. I've never treated anyone...like that. I've never felt anything like that. I let my anger take control. I hurt you...God, I hurt you," he wept. "This is my fault."

It was then she saw his own grief as he wiped his sleeve across his face but the action did little to wipe away the tears that dropped in a steady flow.

She'd never shared her pain with anyone before and despite how hard it was for her to see his genuine grief she allowed him to comfort her, needing to feel connected to him at the moment.

It was a sense of desperation on both of their parts as they clung to one another.

Hours passed and she could no longer bear to lie in the bed any longer.

He followed her throughout the house even though she repeatedly told him she was fine.

It did not deter him, needing to keep her close to him.

There was still the matter of Darius but at the moment he needed to focus on the sadness that emanated from Sara.

Neither had said a word to one another in hours and yet they had been inseparable.

He fixed her a glass of juice, sitting it on the counter as she sat on the stool in the kitchen.

It was Grissom who broke the silence.

"Sara…I should have let you…explain what happened," he began, needing to clear the air.

While she had allowed him to comfort her, there was still a wall between them.

"I want to know what happened," he pressed.

"Not what you thought," she threw out.

"I know. I'm sorry," he mourned. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

She took a deep breath letting it out slowly.

"I opened the door and I saw…Gracen," she whispered. "I stupidly…let him into my apartment. I just…" she stopped swiping at her cheeks, angry that she couldn't seem to stop the continuous flow.

"You wanted Gracen," he said sadly.

"Not like that!" she bit out. "I…I'd never felt safe…until Gracen. I'd felt off for days…I wanted…needed to feel safe and when I saw Gracen's face…" she stopped swallowing hard.

He nodded in understanding.

His lies though they were meant to protect, had shattered her sense of security.

"He tried to pretend…tried to get me…but I didn't Grissom. I didn't!" she bit out. "I realized that it wasn't Gracen. When I refused to let him…he…changed his appearance…to you."

Grissom's eyes widened.

"I…fought him off…but he was…too strong."

"Sara, did he…"

"No…no…he could have…but he stopped…cursing…about something. He shoved me against the wall and I blacked out. When I woke… he was gone and you were calling to tell me…I knew there wasn't anything the police could do."

"It was Darius," he gritted.

She nodded.

"Are you sure he didn't…"

"No! I'm sure," she grieved.

Grissom's hands covered hers. "You should have told me," he said.

"Why? You couldn't have done anything," she wept as she pulled her hand away to grip the glass with both hands.

He wasn't sure if she was avoiding his touch or that she needed the added support since her hand trembled slightly.

"Sara…he's going to come back. He has to be stopped."

"Not by you…Grissom, you can't..." She stifled a sob, "Just leave it alone."

"Sara…"

There was a knock on the door.

Grissom quickly caught a glimpse of fear in Sara's eyes realizing that Sara still feared Darius would return.

Grissom pulled out his gun and handed it to her while he went to the door and checked.

He was surprised to see Father Brannigan along with another man.

"Gil, I found someone who may be able to answer your questions," he offered.

He'd called Father Brannigan in his desperation to find someone who might know about fallen angels and would be able to help Sara.

Grissom started to let them in but Sara cautioned him.

"Forgive me Father but…can you tell me when we first met?" asked Grissom.

"You came to the church. You said you had offered a position to a young woman who you cared for very much and you were worried about how she would cope with the cruelty of your job."

"Thank you Father, please come in," stated Grissom.

The man cleared his throat. "I take it you had a run in with a fallen angel… one that likes to disguise himself as someone you know?" asked the man.

"Yes," admitted Grissom.

"Gil, this is Francis Merci," stated Father Brannigan.

Sara's glass tipped over.

Grissom glanced in her direction. "Merci…you're related to Gracen Merci?"

"He was my grandson," admitted the man.

"Gracen didn't mention him by name…I didn't get the impression he was still alive," she gulped, fear evident in her eyes.

Grissom stepped away, coming to stand near Sara.

"That's because he was considered 'dead' to me," the man admitted.

Sara stared at the man intently.

There was some resemblance to Gracen.

"You must be Sara," Francis said as he took a step toward her.

Grissom blocked him but Sara stepped to the side to confront the man.

"You….all of you turned your back on Gracen," she accused.

"Yes, we did and he was my grandson," he mourned.

Francis extended his hand to Sara.

"May I hold your hand?" he asked.

She looked into the man's eyes.

They were Gracen's eyes.

"You don't have to be afraid, Sara. I couldn't harm you. You are a part of me…you are a part of Gracen…my own blood line."

He left his hand extended but she stepped further away.

Grissom started to shove the man away when Francis deliberately grabbed her hand.

"Don't touch me!" she cried as she struggled to break the contact.

"You're very sad," replied Francis as his eyes widened. "You…lost a child."

"Let go of her!" warned Grissom.

He released her hand and she stumbled away from both of them, leaning against the window sill.

"Please…I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just that it's been awhile since I've felt connected to Gracen," he explained. "By touching you…I can feel his essence."

She gulped. "Don't ever touch me!"

Francis stepped back, knowing that he had only made matters worse.

"Father Brannigan told me what happened…to Gracen."

Grissom glanced at Father Brannigan. "I contacted Francis…as soon as you told me about Sara…when you mentioned Gracen's last name, I thought he might be related to this man. He's been coming to the church for the past thirty years. I've know what he is…but he never bothered anything or anyone…but sat and prayed."

"You are one of the few priests or ministers who will allow us this small comfort," griped Francis.

"You said Gracen was 'dead' to you. Why?" asked Grissom.

"He left the sect…for Sara. He wanted to…marry her. That is forbidden so he was cast out of the sect. He had disgraced our kind."

"Disgraced?" Sara spat. "Gracen was good and gentle while some of you…" she choked. "You turned your back on your grandson…you didn't offer him protection from the likes of Darius."

"No, we didn't. The sect is aware of what happened but they will not get involved…but I will," offered Francis.

Sara scoffed at the offer, "Gracen is dead and now you want to help?"

"Why?" asked Grissom suspicious of the man's motives.

"Because I am alone. My son and his wife are dead…my only grandson is dead. I am tired Mr. Grissom. I have existed a very long time; I don't care what happens to me. I do care about Sara…and you. You are the only family I have remaining. You are the end of our blood line."

Francis turned to Sara. "Darius wants you…specifically he wants an heir. He foolishly thinks that any offspring will be superior to any of the fallen angels. He marked you as his own…the bite marks…a sign that you belong to him. He would have tried to impregnate you but it seems you were already pregnant."

"Sara lost the baby," grieved Grissom. "The bite wounds became severely infected…we'd tried…" Grissom stopped, his pain too fresh to talk about.

"The baby was too weak," whispered Grissom.

"Nonsense!" Francis shouted. "The life force within Sara would have fought off the evil inflicted in the bite marks."

"But I miscarried…why?" whispered Sara.

Grissom tensed, worried that their altercation might have caused the miscarriage.

Francis shook his head. "I don't know unless…did Darius force you to ingest…no, not even he can do that…he would need someone to do his dirty work for him."

"What are you saying?" asked Grissom.

"Did you ingest or was injected with anything?" Francis asked.

Grissom reached onto the counter handing him the written instructions Heather had given him.

Francis cursed. "Who gave you this?"

"Someone who has been involved with…someone who had knowledge of your kind."

"It is your kind now," he mourned. "This is…my fault. I should have come sooner."

"What…what happened?" asked Sara.

"This…is your human version of an abortion."

"No," Sara gasped as she grabbed her midsection.

Grissom stepped forward. "If we…if we had not given that to Sara…would the baby…would she…would they have lived?"

"Yes."

Grissom felt as though he had been kicked in the stomach.

He had aborted his own child, his own son.

Grissom stumbled back as his hand covered his mouth to stifle his own sob.

He felt Sara's hand on his but he stepped back too horror struck at what he'd done.

He'd been worried that his harsh behavior toward her might had caused her to go into labor but now this man had just confirmed his worst nightmare.

He had caused the death of his child.

"You didn't know," she choked. "Doc and you were…"

Sara flung herself into Grissom's arms as they both clung to one another.

"You didn't know," she whispered over and over.

"I trusted her! I begged her to help me. Oh God, Sara, what have I done," he wept.

"Gil, listen to me," she begged. "I don't blame you. You were only trying to help me."

"I am sorry. If anyone is at fault it is me," stated Francis. "If I had come sooner, I would have been able to advise you…give you the information that you needed."

Father Brannigan stepped toward the door. "Gil, I am sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do."

Grissom nodded as he continued to hold Sara.

"Can we sit?" asked Francis.

Grissom guided Sara to the couch. She looked quite frail as he motioned for Francis to take a seat.

He chose the chair directly across from them.

"Fallen angels were jealous of our ability to conceive so they…would often inflict our women with that…concoction causing them to lose the life they carried."

"The gestational period…" began Grissom.

Francis leaned forward. "Our gestational period is different."

"We realized that when we saw…" Grissom stopped not wanting to discuss such matters in front of Sara.

"How…long?" she asked.

"Five months," he explained. "In human terms you would have been probably three months along whereas…" Francis didn't finish as Sara shifted away from Grissom's embrace.

Pure anger and vengeance raced through her veins.

"We've been told….can the ritual be broken?" asked Sara sitting up.

Grissom stiffened.

"Yes," said Francis, eyeing Grissom's reaction to the question. "Do you want this?'

She didn't answer not sure if Grissom wanted out of the relationship since he had been seeking the information from Heather.

Francis took a deep breath and then continued "If you abstain…then eventually the bond will fade over time. It is excruciating…in essence you are killing off a part of yourself. The other way…is by intercourse with someone else…but it must be with another angel…or fallen angel. No angel would dare mate with someone who has already gone through the mating ritual so that would leave a fallen angel."

Heather is a fallen angel… thought Grissom as he tried to read Sara's expressions.

"Why didn't…Gracen said the ritual couldn't be broken," she accused.

"He knew you…as well as himself. He knew that neither of you would break the ritual…would go to a fallen angel and do such a thing….so in your instance the ritual could not be broken," explained Francis.

"I…didn't have….I lost the desire…for Grissom," she blurted.

He smiled sadly. "No, you didn't. Sara…did it happen after Darius attacked you?"

"Yes."

"Your body had been traumatized…you were also withholding…lying to Grissom. We are wired differently…we don't like to sin…to lie is to sin. It guilts us far worse than a human. There was also the matter of the life you were carrying…your need diminishes over time because your body is focusing on the life that is growing inside you."

"I didn't know…I was pregnant…I felt off…" she didn't finish, folding her hands together to keep them from trembling.

Grissom reached out to take one but she refused to accept the comfort, letting his hand fall on her knee.

"I haven't…felt the urge in several hours," admitted Grissom.

"You're grieving for your child. No doubt you were feeling…something was "off" as well, it depends on how closely you've bonded to one another. Once Sara's body heals, the desire will return quickly."

"My blood type…changed," she quickly added.

"It was your baby's…intermixing with yours," Francis explained. "Human blood does not mix with their unborn but angels do causing our blood type to change…a unique intimacy with your baby."

"My baby," Sara whispered.

Francis and Grissom exchanged glances. "In a few days…you will…resume as if nothing…"

Sara bolted from the couch.

She shrugged off any attempts by Grissom to grab her hand.

She felt as if there was no air in the room as she pressed her face against the coolness of the window.

Grissom started for her but Francis stopped him.

"Please," Francis whispered to Grissom.

Slowly Francis stepped to Sara's side, not wishing to frighten her.

"Gracen loved you very much," he said softly.

"He died because of me."

"He often spoke about you. I knew the first time he spoke of you he had fallen in love with you. I admit I didn't want that. I was one of the few angels who took another angel as a mate and we had been able to conceive. My son was a miracle. He was perfect and I thought that God wasn't so angry with us…but then they…the fallen ones took my wife. They killed her…my sweet Elena. There were a few other births among us angels but then no more."

"Wait…I don't understand. If you were mated…then why didn't you die?"

"Our bond was broken….it doesn't matter if…she was taken by force…raped," he explained.

"I'm sorry," Sara whispered.

"My son took a young human girl as his mate and immediately she gave birth to Gracen. There were complications and she almost died…she was the first human taken as a mate. Gracen declared that there would be no further mating with humans…but he changed his mind when he met you, Sara."

"I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant," she said softly.

Grissom looked surprised.

"When your DNA merged with us, you were healed."

"He didn't tell me," she sniffled.

"Perhaps he feared of getting your hopes up…there was no guarantee he could father a child."

Francis stepped closer. "I think Gracen understood our true purpose here…before he died…and that is protecting God's creations. He did not die in vain. He died with purpose. He died protecting you…his role from the beginning….as your guardian angel."

The coolness of the window pane felt good against her cheek, her eyes closed as she forced herself to allow Francis to come closer.

"Sara, can I hold your hand?"

She didn't reply nor did she step away when his hand slipped into hers.

Grissom waited for the slightest objection, intending to intervene if necessary.

They stood quietly for several minutes as Francis continued to hold her hand.

"Thank you Sara. I know how difficult that was for you," he whispered as he caressed the palm of her hand.

"I will be your protector now. I will watch over you. I won't let Darius hurt you."

"He already has…he took my child. I never should have let him in. I should have known that it wasn't Gracen. He didn't feel right but then…everything felt off," she wept.

"It was the pregnancy…it distorted your view," he explained.

"I didn't know I was pregnant. I didn't feel different," she wept.

"I am old…very old but still not wise as I should be. I should have come sooner…I am sorry."

He released her hand slowly "Do not blame yourself…or Grissom. Grieve Sara, lean on one another."

Francis started for the door but stopped when he heard a gasp from Sara.

Grissom jumped to his feet in an instant.

"Darius…is outside," she gasped.

Grissom looked out the window.

Darius waved.

"That bastard," growled Grissom.

He started for the door but Sara would not let go of his hand.

"Gil, no!" she begged.

He broke from her grasp as he rushed to the door.

"Francis! Please!" Sara begged.

Francis stood at the door. "Gil…one of us needs to stay with Sara…to protect her."

Grissom glanced back at Sara. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Francis blocked the doorway. "Gil, she needs you…not me," he whispered.

"Gil…please," Sara called.

Francis opened the door but Grissom quickly stepped out.

"I killed my son because of him," grieved Grissom. "She needs you to protect her...I failed."

Sara called once more but Grissom was gone.

Note from author:

What a place to end it... Leave a review so we can move on...quickly...LOL