Pain was consuming. It tore you apart and left you in bloody pieces on the floor ready to shrivel up and perish from the inner agony. No blood or revenge would take it away. The pain will always be there. No matter how much you deny the pain, it will always haunt you. It was like a ghost creeping up upon you, during all your moments, simply to relish in the pain it gives you. Hoshiko grew up with this lesson implanted deep in her heart. Her life was full of death and pain. She had killed and even had died once! She had watched death take her family away from her, she had seen others suffer from her influence, and she had known all about her end. She could not change her fate, not at all. The loss of her parents, the loneliness for over 241 years complete, and the death of the demon she had grown so attached to, Inu No Taisho, along with his mate and son. No, not the son, he still lived. Yet, despite all this agony, the pain kept coming at her. She tore through some bushes, ignoring the tearing sounds of flesh and cloth.

"Everything is over now," she chanted to herself. "I've lost everything."

She continued to run into the dark night. Shadows and haunting sounds did not matter anymore. It was just her and her agony. The pain that tore at her heart and left it cracked and bruised, perhaps even broken. Why did her life have to be so purposeless? Why did she have to suffer from so much and yet keep living? She was born as a hybrid and at her first breath, she was doomed to hate and rejection. She would not be accepted. Forever loathed and judged at first sight to be chased to the death. Yet, the people who had come to accept her paid the price with their very lives. Inu No Taisho lunged forward to protect her earning the fatal wound that would kill him. Izayoi paid the price by simply losing her mate, her husband, and dying without him there. Inuyasha paid for it by how she failed to raise him as promised and the loss of his parents. Sesshomaru paid for it for through the death of his father, the demon he looked up toward and admired. She didn't feel the thorns tearing at her feet.

"My past has destroyed me," she mourned. "One mistake has affected my life. I pay for it every day and yet the tears, pain, and mourning mean nothing. I lost my Father, I lost my parents, I lost Izayoi, I lost the future I could have had, I lost Inuyasha and his upbringing, I lost everything. Now I'm going to lose my friends, Rin, and Sesshomaru! I have paid! Why cannot it end, why must it torment me until my dying day?"

Oh, why did she have to be so naïve? Why hadn't she obeyed the Master's command and ran for her life, screaming for help instead? Inu No Taisho had died for her foolish mistake! She had chosen his fate by simply facing his mortal enemy. If he hadn't gone to battle with Ryukotsusei like he had he would perhaps be alive had he battled him later! Inuyasha and Sesshomaru would have their father! Izayoi would even be alive! She could have had the future she had craved to have with her Father! Perhaps even Inu No Taisho would be able to hold his newborn son in his arms. She stumbled but she did not stop, she kept running from the people that meant most to her. She was the reason things had fallen like they had for the Taisho family. How could they forgive her, even love her? They should crush her worthless hide into the dirt. She deserved it.

Her fault, her fault, only her fault. It repeated in her mind like an image forever implanted into ageless stone. She'd doomed everyone the moment she was born! She should have never existed; it was better that way had she perished so long ago or even never had been born. She just caused agony to not herself but the people around her suffered too. She was a monster! A nobody that people came to love but in the end they had been destroyed for their feelings toward her. She was no better than a murder. She had killed many souls, demons and humans alike, and even her existence caused murder too. Hoshiko, the once naïve and innocent soul, was stained by blood.

She did not realize she had run miles by now. It did not matter. Her agony carried her away to the dark torturous part of her mind that desired to destroy her. Who cared if she ran herself to death? But that thought slowed her slightly. Inu No Taisho made her promise to live on. How could she live on with such a worthless and painful life? He would want her to make the most of it. Could she learn to cope with the agony every day? Inu No Taisho had believed in her! She found herself slowly moving to a stop until her body trembled as she froze. Her breathe fogged up the air before her. She did not realize it was cold. Her blue eyes went to the silver moon high in the sky basking the world in silver.

"Why," she whispered to the night. "What have I done to make you, the fates, hate me so? You tore me apart from those who loved me. You destroyed me. Why?"

Only the very wind was her answer. Before she had realized what had happened her knees slid into the soft grass and she dug her talons into the Earth. Her pain beat in her chest like a drum. It wouldn't end. Forever would she drown in misery for her simple mistake? Sesshomaru probably hated her now. Inuyasha would blame her for tearing his father from him before he even knew him. The others would take the demon lord's and hanyou's side. Rin would be torn from her. Inutaisho and Izayoi had already been ripped from her, which had left her in broken pieces. She was completely alone. She would never have someone completely understand. She'd always been alone since the day she had been born.

"No," her heart whispered. "Inu No Taisho understood us. He never left us alone."

"He's gone. He is dead."

"You do not understand. His sons will continue his duty. They will understand you. They will not leave you alone."

It cannot be that way. Inu No Taisho's sons have to hate her for her doing. She brought their father to his downfall. But how would she ever imagine she would cross paths with them, his bloodline, and so many years later. She never had even thought she would stand before them telling them the secret that brought Father to his death. She never imagined she'd befriend his youngest son and fall for his elder. She trembled at that. She loved them both. Inuyasha she cared for as her brother. Sesshomaru. . . She cared for deeply, far more than a brother. She loved him, she knew that. But they hated her now. She had destroyed their family. They had paid the price, and so had she. Perhaps worse than any of them ever would.

She felt herself getting lost with the very Earth. Her consciousness flared out from her very mind to join with the living plants and the animals. She could feel their lives, the breath they took, the bodies they had. It was like joining her mind with theirs. The plants were easier. To escape like this was the only way to quench the painful fire to relieve in the peaceful creatures of the Earth. It didn't last long, her inner peace. That was when she felt a pair of footsteps approaching. She froze up. Her mind retreated back into itself. She oriented herself once more and glanced around her with heartbroken but aware eyes. She wasn't alone. Hoshiko wasn't the only one here.

'Someone is approaching.'

She inhaled lowly hoping to catch the culprit before he got too close. For a moment she smelt nothing but then his scent filled her nose, one she knew so well, so imprinted into her memory. She froze. It was Sesshomaru. He was completely alone. It was too late to run now; he was not a few feet from her. Curse him and his quick but silent footsteps. She could not sense his emotions, he was being very careful. She expected him to curse her and try to destroy her, but to her shock he merely spoke.

"Hoshiko," Sesshomaru said lowly.

She said nothing in response. There was nothing to say to him, not that he now knew. His father died because of her. What more could she say to that? He waited for her to respond but he didn't receive one after a few minutes. He suppressed the urge to growl at her but instead spoke with a tone with no emotion. He was neutral. He did not be open with his emotions, he had controlled them long ago. Emotional people were weaker.

"Hoshi, do not ignore me."

"What," she whispered dully.

"Are you leaving?"

"You know I couldn't leave if I wanted to. I have my promise to keep. That is enough."

He was silent for a moment.

"I do not blame you."

"Sesshomaru, don't lie to me. Just don't, please. I am the reason the Inu No Taisho is dead and you know it. I sent your father running into his downfall."

"You are not the reason," he growled. "Nor will I allow you to believe this lie. Myoga speaks the truth. You did not deliver the death blow. Ryukotsusei did."

"Sesshomaru, if I had simply listened to your father he would be alive! I battled his mortal enemy when he told me to stay away from him. He had to get that fatal blow that would end his life protecting me! How can I let go of that?"

"He had someone to protect. He kept his promise to you and did not hesitate to die for you. You were his daughter."

She was stunned into silence for a moment.

"You believe me," she whispered.

"I cannot deny the truth."

"Why don't you hate me for sending your father to death?"

"I shall not accuse you, as we do not judge each other. The miko shattered the Shikon No Tama into the many jewel shards, we did not judge. Kohaku was controlled by Naraku and we did not accuse him of what he did. Inuyasha chose unwisely and affected several others and we shall not accuse him of the destruction he caused. You are no different."

Her muscles locked down in shock and revelation. But she did not look at him. She had never thought of it that way. Kagome had shattered the Sacred jewel and sent the shards into the land beyond, starting the journey that would send herself, Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo on an adventure to recover them before Naraku. The young boy, Kohaku, had been controlled by Naraku for a time and thereby had killed his own clan and other horrors, almost killing Rin once! Inuyasha had made some stupid choices, she knew that, and it had sent at least one of his friends into misery, which had usually been Kagome. She frowned at him as he told her this and lowered her head. She was no different?

"I'm no different," she stated quietly in question.

"You made a mistake. You pay for it with your misery."

"I'm the reason your father is dead, Sesshomaru!"

"The miko caused more death than you. Upon returning the sacred jewel, she infused blood battles over the jewel."

She gaped. He was upper handing her now!

"But this is your Father we're talking about! The Inu No Taisho!"

"Our father, Hoshiko."

Stunned silence met his revelation.

"Why? Why do you say such things?"

"Flower, you know."

Flower. He'd just called her Flower. The flame of hope grew stronger. Her gaze slowly drifted upward into his golden gaze. The look in his eyes was shocking. They were sad, hai, but they were warm. Understanding. An expression she never thought she would see upon the ice prince's face. Shouldn't he hate her?

"S-Sesshomaru," she stuttered.

He knelt down to her level to gaze into her face. She could only return his look with one of shock. He wasn't angry? He wasn't going to destroy her or hate her? Before she could ponder this longer, his hand grabbed her chin gently.

"My father was dying," he said quietly. "I smelt death on him that final night. He passed into the void protecting only a mortal woman and a hanyou. I never realized he died also protecting a hybrid. His daughter, who was you."

She frowned at him but said nothing.

"I am glad he did so."

"What," she cried.

"If he had not risked himself, had not given his protection, you would not be here."

She gaped at him.

"I would not have you, Hoshiko."

"Sesshomaru," she whispered with a blush.

"He promised to protect you with his life and that he did. I have done the same."

"He died under my influence!"

"Do not believe that lie. Did you deliver the final blow?"

"No, but –"

"Did you purposely send him to his death?"

"Of course not, but I-"

"Did you want him to perish?"

"No!"

"Then do not believe that lie. You have led yourself to believe you are the reason for his death. You are not. Do not blame yourself."

"Why," she whispered.

"I only speak the truth as I see it. Do not make his sacrifice in vain. He died to protect you, the half breed's mother, and the hanyou. I do not blame you."

"You should hate me! He died because of us! Don't you care about your father?"

Sesshomaru glowered for a moment before responding.

"I did," he growled. "I do not understand some of the choices he made. He chose to raise you and provide for you despite your heritage. He chose to protect you. He cared about you for a reason and I am inclined to believe his reasoning."

His sons will continue his duty. They will understand you. They will not leave you alone.

She trembled at the demon lord's words. How could it be possible he didn't care for the suffering she'd caused? But she could not believe his words. It was her fault he had died but could it be possible? Not her fault? She hadn't delivered the fatal blow nor did she wish for Inu No Taisho to perish under her, protecting her. Had she believed in a lie? Sesshomaru saw the conflict in her eyes.

"You are not at fault."

"Why do you believe that? Sesshomaru, you should hate me."

"Flower," he murmured. "I could never hate you. Even if you destroyed Father. My feelings do not change."

Before she could even say anything else to protest his lips pressed tenderly against hers. Her eyes bulged in shock to the unexpected kiss. How could he do this? Her huge blue eyes just stared at the demon lord in awe. He still had feelings for her? She'd led his Father to his death! It was impossible, but here was a reaction she had never expected. Tears pooled in her eyes and the tears fell down her cheeks at this knowledge. She could not believe it. Her feelings overwhelmed her and she threw herself into the kiss, pouring her love for him into the kiss and hoping he knew it. He returned the sediment and she trembled at the power of the loving kiss. Her feelings were returned with the same compassion and love she had never expected to find in anyone, much less him. The fire built so hot it felt like she was burning alive in his love. He grasped her elbows to pull her into him to lock her into a tight embrace holding her ever so close to him. Her arms wrapped around his neck to hold him there, locked in her kiss. So into the kiss they barely realized they were swaying side to side. They held the kiss until the need for air became inevitable. They broke apart gasping lightly from the lack of oxygen but not before brushing each others lips so tenderly. He leaned his forehead against hers as he gazed into her eyes with warmness and love. She trembled.

"My flower," he murmured. "My sweet and delicate flower. My feelings will not change."

"Maru," she whispered back. "My beloved lord."

He fought back a smile before he claimed her lips with his again. Kissing her seemed like the best thing in this world. She eagerly returned the passionate kiss. Before he knew his own actions, he'd urged her lips open and explored her mouth with his tongue sending shivers down her spine. Hoshiko clung tighter to him as he explored her sweet mouth. But she didn't remain submissive for long. She fought him for dominance for the fiery kiss and he growled lowly in his throat. Sesshomaru barely noticed his actions anymore as his hands slid to her hips to lock her so tightly to him. He heard her sharp gasp at the sudden new contact. The fire was burning them both in their embrace. She took control of the kiss at last and forced him to submit to her attentions. It sent a tingle of fire through him. He had submitted to his beloved demoness for the first time. Her tongue invaded his mouth and he fought back another growl before he attacked her tongue with his. She gave a low moan. To have their tongues caressing the other and exploring each others mouths was so passionate and fiery they had lost track of the world around them. The need for air broke them apart again. They leaned their foreheads against the other as they panted for air. She caressed his cheek as they calmed.

"Thank you, Sesshomaru," she whispered. "My Sesshomaru."

He pulled them over to rest against a tree and cuddled her up against his side. He buried his face into her shoulder inhaling her sweet scent. He would never leave her. She was his. No matter the cost she had paid, he would be at her side now to pay it with her. Even if she had destroyed his father. No matter what she did, he could never bear to lose her. Of course he would forgive her, but he never blamed her in the first place. It was the wretched human woman and the hanyou, but even that perished a bit upon her words spoken earlier. His usual normal neutral expression had been destroyed once again leaving him open to the demoness he cared deeply for. He understood his father more now. Who wouldn't want to protect Hoshiko, it was almost natural. He could understand his Father's feelings toward her.

"My Flower," he murmured instead.

He knew somewhere his Father would approve of his choice for the future Lady of the West as he held her close to him, never to let her go. They could suffer the pain of losing the Inu No Taisho together.

AWWWWWWWWW SO MUCH FLUFF AHHHHH! I do hope I kept Sesshomaru in character though :P Heh heh make out scene XD XD I hope you enjoyed and PLEASE review! Cyber cookies for those who review! :3