To be forgiven was one of the most relieving desires of the heart that no one could deny. All demons and humans alike knew this. To be free of the burden of suffering was a song of the heavens. To be free was dancing with the wind in the bright sunshine upon your face without care. To finally have peace within you was a shine of happiness in your heart, no matter how big or small. She had never been forgiven before like this. She had made a horrible mistake and yet it had been forgiven without even a second thought. She wondered if his inner demon had to do something about this. Never had she been free from such pain before, the burden she had carried for over 2 centuries. She was at an inner peace. For the first time since the dark night that had destroyed her she was finally at peace. Even she knew this in her deep and restful slumber.
'At last,' her heart whispered. 'We are free.'
Hoshiko slowly woke to the sun shining from beyond her eyelids. It had to be at least late morning. Completely aware she was comfortable and warm with the sun's heat basking on her back, she began to filter out her consciousness to the life about her. She could hear the pleasant sounds of birds singing in the trees and even heard the soft whooshing of air of butterfly wings nearby. The heavenly smell of trees and flowers filled her nose so sweetly on the soft breeze. The grass tickled her bare feet. She could feel the very Earth around her with all the creeping animals and swaying trees. It was a beautiful day already. She hadn't even opened her eyes yet to behold the morning's beauty.
To wake upon to such wonders of nature's heaven filled her to the brim with happiness. A very peaceful way to wake, she believed. She had woken too many days such as this and during her time journeying with no destination in her mind she had come to love and adore nature. It was one of the things she found naturally beautiful and peaceful. The sounds of nature were one of her favorite melodies ever played. The beauty she beheld every time she looked upon a living thing was a wonder to behold. Nature and she were one, the minute she was chased from her home. This day reminded her of pleasant memories when it she just she and the Earth. The gorgeous waterfalls, the swaying trees, and the high mountains flickered in her mind. But even those memories had dark sides. She shifted to get more comfortable.
That was when she noticed someone was playing with her hair. The fingers gently ran against her scalp to trail down the whole length of her hair, leaving pleasant tingles in their wake. Oh, she loved it when someone played with her hair! She realized she was pressed up against someone's body, her arm thrown over his lower chest. She knew it was her Sesshomaru. It couldn't be anyone else who would hold her so gently or with such compassion. She breathed deeply of his heavenly scent not wanting to move from her position but knowing she had to. His hair tickled her cheek and nose. Finally, she looked up at him with tired eyes. He glanced to her automatically, feeling her gaze, and tilted his head quite like a dog making her almost laugh. She felt the corner of her mouth turn up in amusement. Sesshomaru the dog demon.
"Do you finally wake?"
"Have there been many false alarms," she returned, curious.
"Hn."
Was that a yes, then? She raised her head from his chest to look around. She smiled happily at the beautiful scenery before her watching the birds and butterflies flutter about. She hadn't noticed she'd come across a clearing filled to the brim with so many flowers it took her breathe away. It was just as she had imagined in her thoughts.
'So beautiful,' she thought happily.
Suddenly, a thought registered to her. She felt herself pale in horror forgetting the beauty around her. She'd fallen asleep! In the demon lord's arms no less but it wasn't too much of a surprise. He was after all her lover, the demon who was courting her at the moment. She thought about the night before and flushed lightly in embarrassment. He had reassured her for hours it was not her fault the Inu No Taisho died and he could never blame her. She was innocent. To prove his words, he had held her to his body tenderly and even had nuzzled her gently. He was the medicine she had needed. The Inu No Taisho's son had been the one to free her from her torment. Who would have known he had such a sweet and loving side to him? He was usually so cold and blank. A brutal and cold demon had become such a gentle one. Only with her and Rin, though.
"We stayed here all night?"
"Indeed."
"What about Rin? We left her alone!"
He blinked at her sudden change of mood.
"We should go!"
In a sudden panic she began to get up to take off but before she could Sesshomaru grabbed her wrist and pulled her back sending her sprawling ungracefully onto his lap. She gaped at him. He wanted to give her a mischievous smirk but he didn't do that. He was Lord Sesshomaru, the ice prince. He was neutral. But to see his future mate looking at him so rumpled it sent amusement through his being. He kept his face in his careful mask but he knew his golden eyes danced with mirth. He knew she could see it by the slight crinkling of amusement at the corners of her eyes. She had learned to read his emotions through his eyes, it seemed.
"Sakura attended to her," he rumbled. "She would have done her duty in your absence."
Hoshiko frowned at that. She preferred it when she did her duty, not her attendant. Perhaps it was her pride getting in the way again, she knew she was very prideful. Many times her pride had gotten her in trouble. She knew that, because she had been scolded quite many times in her young years of her life about the downfalls of pride. Plus, she loved to be with her pup. Her sweet pup! Sesshomaru ran a claw down her cheek to regain her attention. She looked toward him. He was looking at her with those cold warm gold eyes of his. Not the cold eyes he sent to everyone else. The eyes he reserved for her alone. Her cheeks flushed.
"Do not concern for our pup, she is well in the care of our attendants."
"I would prefer to do it," she answered, pouting a bit. "I'm her mother!"
"She will not mind for one night."
"I however do mind. It's my duty. I wish to do it myself, not Sakura!"
He shook his head lightly at her complaints and leaned over to capture her lips with his. It seemed the best way to silence her complaints. She eagerly responded to the kiss with all she had without an ounce of surprise and forgetting quickly her reason to return to the village. He cupped her cheek in his hand to hold her locked in his kiss. She didn't seem to mind. She gripped at his shoulders to hold her there in his sweet kiss until they broke apart, but not more before getting another peck or two. The demoness smiled and nuzzled his neck affectionately with a low rumble in her chest. He held her close.
"Okay, maybe this once," she admitted.
"Hn," Sesshomaru replied with a hint of amusement.
Hoshiko placed a hand over her heart as she listened to it beat. For the first time since the death of Inu No Taisho she was at peace. The memories no longer tormented her. The words between them did not hurt her anymore. She would always hurt at the loss of Father but here she was calm and able to think about it without agony running through her. She finally was at peace. It wasn't her fault, was it? Sesshomaru had reassured her it was not her fault. She could live in peace now, with her Sesshomaru and her pup. No longer would she cry. She could speak freely to them about it without feeling guilty or miserable. Sure, she'd hurt to think about his death, but who did not mourn the death of a loved one? She placed her head against her love's chest and listened to the strong heartbeat deep within him. That heart belonged to her, she knew that. Sesshomaru was the one she belonged to now, as well. She trailed a finger down his stomach.
"Hoshiko," he rumbled after a long silence.
"Hai?"
"I understand Father now."
She looked up at him in sudden confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I despised Father for betraying my mother and mating with a human. He even went as low to have a half breed with her."
"Inuyasha," she murmured lowly but sounding upset at his words. "He did not want to betray you."
"Hn. I knew not why. Now I do."
"Why?"
"He loved the half breed's mother."
She shuddered lightly.
"He did," she answered quietly. "I saw it when I saw them together. It was undeniable to say they did not have feelings for each other."
"Hn. I did not understand his fondness for her or the hanyou. I do understand now."
She sighed lightly.
"Sesshomaru," she said sadly. "I once thought you were cold and cruel by what I saw and heard of you. I hated you in a way. Now, I cannot believe the demon I saw 200 years ago is you. You have changed, too."
"Hn."
"But why do you suddenly understand his fondness for Inuyasha's mother?"
"You."
They were silent for a moment. She knew what he meant. Izayoi had been a human. She was a hybrid demoness. In a way, they were alike in the demon society; Despised disgraces, weak. Inu No Taisho's son finally understood his feelings toward humans and half breeds because of her and Rin. Sesshomaru gently caressed her cheek before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Her eyes closed as she was enveloped in his tenderness and her inner peace. To think, she was hiding in the shadows all along, by his father's side. She had watched him from afar in the darkness with her beautiful eyes. She suddenly looked up at him with a quiet expression.
"We should go back now."
He sighed mentally.
"As you wish."
He stood up quickly and held out a hand to her. She accepted it as he pulled her to her feet but they did not release the other. Their fingers intertwined with each other without hesitation. She pulled him along toward the direction of her hut and he felt his lips twitch in amusement at her eagerness to return. But he could sense her fear. What would her friends say now? Sesshomaru had forgiven her and hadn't burdened her with anger or hatred but what of the others, especially Inuyasha? They walked quietly for a moment and he didn't have to turn toward her to see she was admiring the tall trees. She was happier; he could feel it radiating off her figure. It pleased him she had accepted his words and obeyed him. Her past was finally brought to light and accepted with grace from him. They could be at peace, together. But he could sense the dark cloud hanging over her happiness. She was afraid, still, too.
"Sesshomaru," she suddenly asked.
"Hn?"
"Why didn't you stop your father so long ago?"
He pondered that question for a moment. She had asked that the night before and yet, was his answer not enough? Perhaps she had known there was another reason behind his reasoning. It took him a moment to find a suitable answer.
"I would not stand in his way. Despite my hatred toward the human woman and his newborn hanyou child, he was my Father. I respected his wishes."
She was silent, but he knew. She understood what he meant. She respected and loved their father, too. She gave his hand an affectionate squeeze and he felt a deep contentment envelop him. They continued on in silence with nothing more to be said.
A few miles away Rin gazed out the window at the rising sun. She was sad. Momma hadn't returned and Papa had vanished into the night shortly afterward. Neither of them had returned as of yet and it frightened her. They'd been gone all night leaving her in the care of Sakura, which she didn't mind much, but she still wished it had been her Mother's hands helping her into bed. What was going to happen? Was Momma alright? Why did Papa leave? All these questions whirled in her head continually like a horrible storm in the depths of her mind. Suddenly, Kagome appeared at her shoulder, startling her. Her sad eyes gazed into the miko's.
"Rin," she asked kindly. "Are you alright?"
"I'm scared," she whimpered back. "What if Papa is mad? Where's Momma?"
Kagome placed a tender hand on the child's shoulder.
"I don't know what Sesshomaru is thinking, but I know Hoshiko will return. Didn't she promise she would always return to you?"
"H-Hai."
"Then relax. She'll be back. She just needs some time to heal herself and recoup. What she told us last night was no easy task and it was probably heartbreaking for her."
Rin nodded in grim acceptance. What else could she do? It wasn't like Hoshiko would return upon her wishes. Her eyes wandered back to her friends, who were waiting for the demonesses return with her. Miroku was being attacked by the twins, who were currently pulling on his robes demanding he played a game with them. Sango was making some adjustments to a fruit bowl she had brought earlier. Sakura and Minoru were currently in the back of the hut arguing who was going to retrieve some water for the stew. Jaken was pouting by the firewood and Kaede was mixing another medicine by the fire. But they weren't the ones who were gaining most of her attention. Inuyasha was blankly staring at the window like her mother had hours before. What was he thinking? Did Hoshiko's words disturb him to a great level or make him wonder about things in his childhood? Did he even remember her? She wondered about last night.
After Hoshiko had run into the night there had only been a long silence. No one had known what to do or how to react. There were only private thoughts. It had been utterly shocking to discover Hoshiko's adoptive father had been none other than the great Inu No Taisho. It explained so much, though. They could not deny the truth of her words nor the witnesses of her past. They had finally left with whispered goodbyes. It frightened Rin to no end; were they angry at Hoshiko? Did they despise her now? But those thoughts had been destroyed upon dawn when they all had returned, tired but with smiles. They explained to her afterward they could not sleep and met up instead during the night, discussing it. To her shock, they told her they were not angry nor did they despise the demoness. Instead, they pitied her! They felt sorry for her and wished to continue their relationships with her. It made her cry in joy. When she asked why they thought that way, Kagome had grimly explained why judge her for a mistake so long ago? She hadn't killed the Inu No Taisho, either, by her own hands nor did she purposely send him to his death. She also had explained that Hoshiko was their friend and ally; she didn't deserve to be run off for a mistake. Rin had never been happier in her life. But she wondered what Inuyasha was thinking about this whole ordeal. Did he blame her, though?
"Kagome," she asked softly.
"Hai?"
"Is Inuyasha okay?"
"He's fine," Kagome said hurriedly. "He is just in thought about last night."
Rin's eyes narrowed a bit at that. That response had sounded quite forced out. Had something happened last night? She wanted to question a bit more, but before she could do so, another voice rang out.
"Rin," Kaede called.
"Hai, priestess Kaede?"
"Come here."
The child obeyed and didn't notice everyone was observing her at the moment. She hadn't realized how worried everyone had been about her. With all her worrying for the demoness they knew it had been unhealthy for her and worried it would affect her daily habits. Her constant staring out the window was worrisome. Her eyes were locked on Kaede.
"Tell me," the old miko said. "Why do you worry so?"
"I'm scared Momma is hurt," she whispered, frightened.
"Child, I will admit Hoshiko is injured severely."
Rin looked panicked but Kaede held up a finger for her to remain silent. Everyone knew she was doing this for the child's well-being. It would be better to talk of it. Rin couldn't worry constantly over the demoness and harm her own being. It would relieve her body of its stress. The old priestess had noticed the child's behavior all morning.
"But not in the way ye think she has been. Her physical state is in the greatest of health, it is her mental health that is bleeding. As Kagome said, what she told us last night was no easy task for her and I bet she is heartbroken to be reliving such painful memories. Telling us probably hurt her more than we can imagine, Rin. Give her time to heal."
"But why does she cry?"
"I will not lie to ye. She is blaming herself for the death of Inu No Taisho and thus, has become quite pained and tormented over his death. She probably misses Izayoi, Inuyasha's mother, as well."
"She didn't kill him!"
"I know, child. She did not send him purposely to his death nor did she deliver the death blow herself. She is an innocent soul who was there at the wrong time. She has yet to discover this. Time will heal the damage done to her."
"I'm scared for her."
"So are we. Do not concern yourself over her; she has survived 2 centuries with this burden alone. She is stronger than she thinks. She will heal."
Rin had opened her little mouth to respond when in the sudden silence, they all heard it. The soft sound of footsteps approaching the hut with deliberate slowness. They didn't even hear the second pair. They knew what it meant. The demoness had returned. Hoshiko was back. But the second the demoness stepped into the hut, she was almost knocked over by a sudden rush of white and red. Rin stared in surprise.
"Hoshiko," Kagome cried in relief as she embraced her demoness friend.
Hoshiko froze in shock. Her expression gave the impression that she had just been slapped across the face so hard she only felt the bewilderment of the impact. Of all the reactions she had expected upon stepping into the hut, it was not this, apparently. Her eyes stared at the miko for a long moment like she had never seen her before. It took her a moment to find her voice; she sounded confused and stunned.
"Kagome, what are you still doing here?"
"I was so worried about you!"
"What," she gasped.
"We all were."
Hoshiko's eyes went up to gaze at the others. She seemed to only realize their presence only now. The demoness looked overwhelmed now, completely different from when she had entered the hut. She had looked depressed and weary. She stared at her companions. The surprise on her face was evident.
"You were worried about me," she whispered in questioning shock.
"Of course we were! You are our friend!"
She blinked rapidly for a moment.
"You don't hate me?"
"No!"
"But I don't understand?"
"We don't care."
Hoshiko looked bewildered now. She didn't seem to know how to react to this; had she expected a different reaction? It all came crashing down on her and without her consent she began to cry. Her friends forgave her, too? She had expected rejection or hatred; she had gotten comfort and forgiveness. Kagome immediately hugged the demoness tightly. Hoshi did not protest and simply cried into the miko's shoulder with loud heartbreaking sobs. Did she think they would hate her? Everyone pitied her so. Rin never had seen her mother in such a lowly state before.
"Why don't you," Hoshiko sobbed. "Why don't you hate me?"
"It is not your fault," Kagome answered quietly. "You were not the reason Inu No Taisho died, nor did you kill him on purpose. You were his child, just like Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. His daughter although you aren't linked by actual blood. You are our friend, an ally."
Hoshiko cried harder to those words. Kagome caressed the demonesses back in comfort. Now she understood. The depth of the pain Hoshiko had held inside for so long was so tormenting it made her cry in pain and relief. She had never seen a demon cry. Was it truly that painful and shocking? Losing Inu No Taisho must have been the hardest thing ever to cope with, especially if she had blamed herself for his death. He had been her only companion in her childhood years. Her father, the demon who had raised her, who had given her everything she had needed; love, compassion, and protection. She knew how much this must have burdened her.
No one noticed when Sesshomaru slipped into the hut silently. For a moment, he only gazed upon the scene with an unreadable expression; Hoshiko was crying, again. Immediately his inner demon yearned to rip the demoness out of the miko's arms and offer her his comfort, his love. He hated the fact it was not he who was the one comforting her. He forced himself to resign himself to watch. He hated every tear. He may have been cold to others but to Hoshiko, it was completely different. She was his future mate and he could not hide himself from her. He waited for her.
It took a few minutes for Hoshiko to get a grip on herself. Once she did though she looked humiliated and ashamed for showing such weakness. Kagome smiled reassuringly. It was okay, there was nothing to be ashamed of. She was heartbroken and they understood that. Hoshiko eyed her for a moment before wiping away the tears with a shaking hand. Her lip trembled for a moment.
"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you my friends."
Her friends smiled at her warmly. She knew she had found true real friends within them and they would not leave her for anything. She had found a new family. She managed a weak smile toward them in return. Suddenly, her pup ran toward her with all possible speed. Her heart yearned for little Rin.
"Momma!"
Hoshiko fell to her knees to embrace the child, her sweet little pup, as she ran into her arms. She felt the strong and deep emotion of love surrounding her, the mother and child. The bond between them was stronger than ever. She would never part from this human child, she owned her now. Rin cried in relief into Hoshiko's shoulder. To see her mother come back had finally broken the worry in her soul. They ignored the people around them.
"Are you okay, Momma?"
"I'm alright now. I will be okay," Hoshiko whispered back.
"I love you, Momma."
"I love you too, little Rin."
Everyone resisted the sudden onslaught of tears. To see them, Rin and Hoshiko, so together like a real mother and child was so emotional it touched their hearts. Sango approached them.
"Are you really going to be okay, Hoshi?"
Hoshiko stood up and looked at the demon slayer with happy tears shining in her eyes.
"Oh, hai, I will be," she responded with a watery smile.
Before she knew it, she was in the demon slayer's embrace. She returned the hug. To feel the deep companionship she felt with these humans made her feel so safe and protective of them. Her friends. The second she let go, another grabbed her in their arms. She was passed embrace to embrace within her circle and many words were spoken of kindness, reassurance, and comfort. Tears spilled down her cheeks. When she reached Totosai, he smiled reassuringly and placed his hand upon her shoulder.
"Totosai," she said to him. "In my younger years, you always made me laugh and were willing to help me out despite my situation. Thank you."
"You did well," he said simply.
She turned to Saya, who was hovering above Totosai's shoulder. Hoshi held out her hand to him and smiled when he patted it.
"Saya," she said quietly. "Thank you for being a kind listener and friend."
Saya tilted his head for a moment. "You're welcome, Hoshiko."
She had only smiled before she had picked up Myoga. Of all her guardians, she favored him. He had spent the most time with her and even with the Master. He knew her the best. Despite his little annoying habit of sucking her blood and running away at the first sign of danger. She kissed the top of his little head, making him blush.
"Hoshiko," he mumbled embarrassed.
"Thank you, Myoga, for being one of the best guardians, teachers, and friends I could ever have," she said quietly to the flea demon. "You always made my day by making me smile and laugh."
He eyed her for a moment.
"The Master would be proud of you," he said whispering. "As am I. You are the beautiful and powerful demoness we knew you could be. You always were a joy to me, too."
She hugged him to her cheek. Everyone smiled at the flea demon and hybrid demoness. They could see the strong bond between the two. It was obvious, they loved each other too. Myoga was like another Father to her, in a way; He was her guardian, after all. Saya and Totosai knew the relationship between them were deeper than theirs with the demoness. She released the flea demon at last and placed him back on Totosai's shoulder. She smiled at everyone with a great big smile, but it faded quickly upon one word spoken.
"Hoshiko."
Everyone's eyes shot toward Inuyasha.
Looks like Inuyasha has something to say to Hoshiko, now! What will his reaction be? Oh the suspense! Hehe Sesshomaru and Hoshiko fluff at the beginning *squee* I love the Hoshiko and Myoga relationship, too; Guardian and ward. Hope you guys enjoyed this and keep reviewing, keeps me motivated and you get cyber cookies! :D