Operation Denied

I can't believe my luck. I'm actually going to get home early for once. It's only seven. I park Fenrir, and I turn towards Seventh Heaven, noticing something unusual.

The bar is closed.

I swallow, fear billowing up from the pit of my stomach. Tifa had went back to the doctor's a few days ago, she'd seemed subdued when she came home, but she was better...she wasn't sick again, was she? Had something happened?

Or was it one of the kids?

I shake my head, trying to bury this feeling. Someone would've called if anything happened.

My efforts to quail my fear aren't working, and I quickly unlocked the door, deadbolt included (haha! Take that you fiend!).

What I find shocks me.

Denzel and Marlene are cleaning, and I mean cleaning.

Marlene is attempting to mop, but the mop is too tall for her. Denzel is bringing in blankets and cushions, blankets and cushions he's just beat the dust off of. There's a bit of grime in his hair, and black marks streaking their faces, evidence of cleaning the fire place.

I can't remember the last time they were doing this.

Oh wait, I can...that was when they put their new friend Henrietta the mouse and her two babies in Tifa's bed...yeah...I remember that one. What a scream...

But back to the present,

"What did you do?" Even I, master of emotion concealing, cannot keep the incredulous tone out of my words.

Marlene and Denzel look up, their eyes big, screaming save us.

"IF YOU SAY ONE WORD..."

Oh man...I should just turn around now and go.

Tifa's coming down the stairs, her arms crossed, and practically breathing anger, humiliation, and all other negative emotions. They radiate off of her like an ill-conceived bubble of emotions.

I flinch.

"They can't say anything, so don't talk to them."

"Teef..." I try to calm her.

"NO! No Teef, not today...they're being punished for their crimes. I won't hear it!"

And with that, she turns, strolling up the stairs, her head held high.

After hearing the door slam, I motion to the two children, and a small smile breaks their faces. They rush over, quietly sitting down mop and blankets.

"...how..."I whisper.

"We were just trying to make the annoying man go away..." Marlene states, her voice soft.

I raise an eyebrow in question.

"He kept asking her stuff..."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, stuff...like, whatcha doin Saturday night, sweetums?" Denzel makes a face.

I feel my face grow hot in anger, "Someone asked her that?"

Denzel shakes his head furiously.

"But we don't want her to go out with anyone but you Cloud..." Marlene states plainly.

Now my face is hot in embarrassment.

"Still...she should be happy you're trying to get her out of a date, right?" I whisper.

"Well..." Denzel starts.

I put my face in my hand, "What did you do?"

"Well...we went to the laundry room and got some things."

"Like what?"

"Just wait...well...we came back out carrying it in a laundry basket, and we had it covered up with a sheet...and...well, we said, if you want to see Tifa's under-things-

"WHOA..."I have to restrain my voice.

"Why did you think that...he wanted..." I clear my throat.

"Remember that one time when you had to go buy a new door?" Denzel starts.

"Cause of that one guy? You know, Tifa kicked him through the door after she hit him with the chair..."

"Ohhh yeah, that one..." I shudder.

"Yeah, that one...well, that's what he asked about, so we figured maybe that's what this guy would ask about..." Marlene says.

"So...?"

"So...we said that this was the only way you'd get to see them." Denzel states.

Oh...no... "What was in the basket?"

"Well...it was one of Tifa's woman thingys, and do you know how well those make slingshots?" Denzel asks.

I choke...they used...Tifa's bra...as a slingshot?

"What was ammo?" Did my voice just squeak?

"Well..." Marlene's eyes trail off to the corner.

It's then I see it, the basket of clothing. I find myself blushing at it's contents. Tifa's panties have been rolled up into balls, and I have no doubt in my mind what they used for ammo.

"I can't believe you did that...and you survived...and let me get something straight...you did this while the bar was open?" I ask.

"He was a regular, Cloud! He's always asking! And after that, he's never, ever, coming back."

"But did you have to do that? I mean, that was Tifa you embarrassed there."

"Trust us Cloud, this was plan Z for our operation."

"Operation, what operation?"

Denzel leans in, but it's now we hear Tifa's footsteps on the stairs. The color drains from Denzel and Marlene's faces as they see her descend.

"Bedroom, now."

And the two take off, shying away from her.

Tifa meets my eyes, and I know she'd been listening.

I know she wants me to say something, but what am I suppose to say? I'm afraid of that look she's giving me, but still! How was I suppose to be prepared for the day when Denzel and Marlene would attack a customer with flying panties?

"So...um..." I feel my face heat up.

"It was operation denied if you wanted to know." She states.

I walk over, feeling the corner of my mouth twitch.

"Cloud Strife." She says as a warning as I approach.

I do the only thing I can think of.

I kiss her.

I break the kiss, knowing I've caught her off guard, and lean into her ear.

"Remind me to thank them later." I state.

I see her smile out of the corner of my eye as she wraps her arms around my neck.

"We'll thank them together."

A/N: whew! I don't think I've had that much fun since the shower incident...poor Tifa, I just have too much fun embarassing her...and I don't know what was the inspiration of Denzel and Marlene slingshotting underwear at some poor customer who just wanted a date...I mean, after all, it's better than deal with Cloud, eh?

Anyways! Thanks for awesome reviews as always! And I'll try to be updating everything soon! Lurve ya!