Hey, guys!
I'm SO sorry that it's up so late! I've had major writer's block, and no clue what to write what-so-ever.
I've finally got it, though! I hope ya'll like it!
I'm sitting on the black swing, waiting for the girls. I texted them ten minutes ago to meet me here as soon as they could, and luckily, we're all free now.
I haven't yet told them about Zach and I, but I'm planning to as soon as they get here.
I ended up just getting one book- Think of a Number by John Verdon. I haven't started it yet, 'cause Zach and I only got back half an hour ago from the mall. He also wouldn't let me read in the car. It sounds great, though.
I hear light footfalls to my left and I look over to see Liz, who has just tripped over a slight crack in the cement. "Whoops," I hear her mutter. I finally catch her eye and she smiles widely. "Hey, Cammie!" She walks faster to me, and I get up to give her a big hug.
"Hey, Lizzie. How's it been?" I ask her as we pull away from the hug.
"Great! Jonas took me out the other night, actually."
"Where'd he take you?" I loop my arm through hers and we start walking around the park.
"He took me to this really cool science museum about an hour away, and then to a really cute restaurant. It was an amazing night." She gets a dreamy look on her face and grins goofily. I raise an eyebrow and she blushes. "He also walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight."
"Aw, Liz!" I nudge her in the side and her blush deepens. "That's so sweet!"
"Yeah, he really is." She pauses to look at me, and then she looks forward again. "I really like him, Cam. I really do." There's a slight edge to her voice that I barely catch.
"Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, it's just… I think I'm falling in love with him, and I don't know what to do!"
"There's nothing to do. If it's meant to be, then it'll happen. You just gotta wait it out a bit, you know?" A small smile takes over my lips. "Besides, he's crazy for you. The two of you are just so cute that nobody can help but smile." I wink at her and then we both laugh.
"What's so funny?" "Boo!" I hear two voices say at the same time. Liz and I turn around to see Macey and a disappointed Bex.
"Hey, guys!" I say as Liz and I hug them both. "Nice try, Bex." I whisper in her ear when I hug her. She gives me a look as we pull away, and I can't help but laugh. "So how's it been?"
"Pretty good, but I wanna know what the rush was." Macey says.
"I wasn't necessarily rushing you guys, but-"
"Just get to the point already, Cammie!" Bex declares.
"Fine… if I must…" I glare at her. "Zach took me out last night, on a beach dinner. He set up speakers and a blanket, and pretty much made dinner by himself. We danced a little bit, and then he… well, then he proposed…"
"AH!" The girls scream at the same time and I cover my ears, a large smile already taking place.
"Cammie!" "Can we see the ring?" "Oh my gosh!"
"When are you two getting married?" Bex asks.
"Not just yet. We're going to wait a few years, probably 'til after college or something…" I reply.
"Have you guys found a place yet?"
"Nope, but we're looking."
"How come he proposed now, though?" Macey asks; her eyebrows furrowed. "Why not then?"
"I'm already his, but he wants it to be official. I'm quite sure he also wants to show other guys that I'm taken."
"I'm just worried about you, because Josh… well, isn't Josh anymore. Something happened to him… I saw him earlier, and he didn't seem too happy about something…" I stare open-mouthed at Macey.
"Y-you saw him?!"
"What happened between the two of you?" The girls are all looking at me.
"When Zach and I were in Victoria's Secret today, Josh practically tried to rape me in the changing room."
"You took Zach in there and didn't tell me?" Macey shrieks.
"That's not the point, Mace." Bex scolds. "Are you ok, Cam?"
"Yeah, I am. Zach and I took care of him. He didn't do much." Liz comes up to me and hugs me tightly. "Thanks, Liz."
"Hey, mom! You home?" I yell into the house, shutting the door behind me.
"I'm upstairs. I'll be down in a minute." She yells back down. When she says one, she probably means five…
"I'm coming down, anyway. I'll be right there." I run up the stairs, taking two at a time. "You in your room?"
"Yeah…" I slip through her door to see her closing a drawer.
"Putting clothes away?" I sit on the bed.
"That easy to tell?" I laugh lightly and look at her, giving her a funny smile. "So what's up?" She asks, folding a shirt and putting it another drawer.
"Did Zach talk to you and dad?" I rub the ring with my finger, hiding it from my mom's view.
"What about?"
"Our plans for the future…"
"If you mean marriage, then yes. He mentioned it to us. Why you asking?"
"'Cause he, um…" I look down, blushing. I hold up my hand and look back up at my mom, a big smile on my face. "He proposed!" She wraps her arms tightly around me and we both squeal, jumping up and down.
"Congratulations, Cammie! Oh, I'm so happy for you!"
"You already knew, though, didn't you?" She pulls away from the hug and nudges me.
"Of course I knew. Your dad's got to learn how to keep it down sometimes. He was a smiling idiot after Zach left, I had no clue what to do with him." I laugh loudly with her. "You guys are going to wait until around college, though, right?"
"Yeah, that's the plan."
"Good. That's great. You going to tell Sam when he gets back?"
"I'll let him figure that out. He'll probably be ecstatic."
"Very true."
"I'm going to get myself a snack. You want something?" I jump off mom's bed.
"No, thanks. I'll be down soon."
"Alrighty." I give her a quick hug and walk out of the room, noticing the one teardrop rolling down her cheek.
I knock on my parent's bedroom door, hitting each knuckle separately against the wood. I walk in, pushing it open, and I see them sitting on their bed, looking at an album. I sit at the foot of their bed and cross my legs underneath me.
"Whatcha guys looking at?" I ask them as I make myself a little more comfortable.
"Just an album of you when you were younger." My dad answers, not taking his eyes of the page they are on.
"Can I look with you guys?"
"Come over here." I sit in between them and put the album on my lap. First my mom flips the page, then I lift it up, and then my dad sets it down on top of the other page.
I see a picture of my dad and I together, when I was about five or six. We look a lot alike, there- same face, same hair color, and similar smile.
I look at my dad now- he isn't that different; he just looks a little older and he's got thinner hair.
"I remember when you were just a little baby, Cam, and it doesn't feel like that long ago when I held you for the first time…" My dad says, slinging an arm over my shoulder. I wrap my arm around his waist, and my mom gives us a small smile.
"It's so hard to believe you're 17 now, and engaged." She says as a tear rolls down her cheek; followed by another and another. I give her a side-hug with my other arm, and the three of us are engulfed in one giant hug.
"I love you guys so much." I tell them. We squeeze tightly one more time, then slowly letting each other go, only our hands and knees being the only things touching.
"Hello?" I hear Zach say over the phone.
"Hey, Zach. How ya doin?" I ask him. I'm laying down on my bed, an arm draped over my eyes. It's been an emotional night so far, listening to my parents talk about me when I was little while we were leafing through multiple albums.
"Hey, Cam! I'm just out getting a couple of things for the house. You want me to pick something up?"
"No thanks. I'm good." I drop my arm to my side, letting out a soft sigh. "Can you come over tonight? Maybe just help me fall asleep?" I shift so I'm laying on my side.
"Yeah, of course. You feeling ok?" I can just imagine him stopping in his tracks.
"Yeah, just… getting a little emotional, I guess. Spent a lot of time with my parents. Had a lot of crying. I'm just feeling wiped, I guess, and I'd really like someone to hold me right now…"
"I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you, honey."
"Love you, too. Bye."
"Bye." I hang up and put my phone on the dresser. I take a deep breath and exhale loudly, little wisps of my hair flying about. I look over at my computer, willing it to appear on my dresser. I sigh and lay back, then make myself get up. I stomp over to it and bring it back with me to my bed. I put it on the dresser and open it, putting in my password and opening iTunes. I sit on my bed and open my night playlist, then make myself comfortable under the covers.
'…You're the only one! Whoever said this pain would ever go away…' I mouth the words along to the song, tapping my finger to the beat. This version- the acoustic one- is much better than the original, in my opinion. It sounds prettier and it's much calmer.
A dance takes place in my head- just an idea that could be- for the song. I quietly sing along to the song, my eyes closed, dancing figures swaying behind my lids.
'…With every single day, it won't go away, what I feel about you. And when it's said and done, you're the only one! And I can't regret you, so I can't forget you…' I take slow breaths; my body unmoving and very relaxed. 'I hate to feel this way. My days all feel the same, and yesterday was proof that tomorrow will, too.'
"'No matter what they say, you can't drink it all away. 'Cause all that I do, is think about you…'" I sing along. "'…When anybody says your name, I wanna run away. I keep remembering, and I can't forget you. Doesn't matter, when I try, it happens anyway. It's been forever, and I can't forget you. With every single day it won't go away! What I feel about you. And when it's said and done you're the only one, and I can't regret you, so I can't forget you…'" I listen intently to the guitar, then join back in for my favorite part of the song. "'…Stop haunting my dreams. Please set me free.'" Sal sings along with Matt now, making the lines sound stronger and more powerful. "'Stop haunting my dreams! Please set me free! You're the only one…!'" I mouth along to the rest of the song, taking deep breaths every few seconds, not bothering to sing anymore.
The song ends and the acoustic version of The Kill starts playing. I fall deep into a trance, of just me and the music. The guitar lulls my mind in to a sort of numb state, and when Jared starts singing, my head is completely empty, except for the music playing through it. The violin comes in, slowly and beautifully, and the mix of the music and his voice soothe me. 'What would you do? Come, break me down. Bury me, bury me. I am finished with you.' A surge of hope bursts in my chest as the violin goes higher… 'What if I wanted to fight? Beg for the rest of my life? What would you do?' I take a breath and mouth the words. 'You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for? I'm not running from you…' My body stills in anticipation of the chorus, where Jared sings it so beautifully, filled with so much power and emotion. 'Come, break me down! Bury me, bury me! I am finished with you! Look in my eyes! You're killing me, killing me. All I wanted was you!' I mouth the words along with him again. 'I tried to be some one else…! …I know now, this is who I really am inside! Finally found myself… fighting for a chance! I know now, this is who I really am!'
I hear a light tap on my window, and then hear it being pushed open. It's closed softly and I feel the bed dip as Zach lays down beside me.
"Hey, beautiful." I turn my head so I can look at him. I give him a small smile before reaching up and pressing my lips lightly to his.
"Hey, yourself." I lay back down and make myself comfortable again. I feel Zach move around a little bit before wrapping an arm around my waist and holding me tightly against him.
"I see you're listening to 30 Seconds To Mars."
"Night playlist." I mumble.
"Figured." He kisses my cheek. "Good night, Cammie. Love you."
"Love you, too, Zach. G'night." I shut my eyes and lace my hand with his, snuggling into him with a smile on my face.
Well, that's that... I'm still very sorry about it being up so late.