Chapter Thirty Seven:
The Lamb's Christmas Eve Gift
Grissom pulled up to Sofia's house.
"You'll consider coming back?" he asked trying to put some normalcy back into their conversation.
"I'll consider it," she purred.
Sofia got out of the car and he followed, walking her to the door.
He started to leave and she purposely kissed him on the lips.
Grissom stepped back, not sure what to make of the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach.
He'd thought his earlier queasiness was from the emotional turmoil of seeing Sara once again.
"Gil, are you alright?"
He grabbed her into his arms and kissed her but almost doubled over in pain.
"Come inside," she urged as she tried to support him.
"This doesn't make any sense," he gritted.
"What doesn't?"
He purposely groped her and practically doubled over.
"I have to go," he gritted as he slowly stood erect.
"Are you sure? You could spend the night," she offered.
He shook his head as he made his way to his car.
He flipped open his phone and called Francis.
"We need to talk."
Francis sat on the couch as Grissom retold the events of that evening.
"I can't explain it. You shouldn't be experiencing any pain," stated Francis.
Grissom was quiet for a moment and then said, "Sara is pregnant."
"I'm sorry, Grissom. Perhaps what you are feeling is more emotional than…physical."
"We left the restaurant because I began to feel sick. I thought it was….seeing Sara with him…but I think it was because I was holding Sofia….and she was…touching me in an intimate way. Sara stepped out of the restaurant because she got sick. Could it have been for the same reason?"
"Gil, she's carrying Darius's child. She's had no trouble in…moving on."
Francis cleared his throat. "Gil, we saw them...heard them. I can't explain these physical ailments...but you can't be...joined with her any longer."
Grissom nodded sadly.
In a way he felt hopeful but then the evidence was telling him she was lost.
He had seen and heard first hand that she had been with Darius.
By everything he had been told, their bond should be broken.
He'd tried to move on, pretend she had just left Vegas but running into her had destroyed the little white lie he had told his heart.
He'd taken her things and shoved them into closets or into drawers that he didn't open anymore for fear that it would bring back memories of what he had but lost.
Each day, he prayed her absence would be easier to take but it didn't.
He felt a piece of himself missing, a hole cut out of his heart that ached each time her name came up.
Now to discover he was still connected to her, only added salt to an already festering wound.
He would have preferred to have died trying to protect her.
He almost wished that Darius' men would have put him out of his misery after seeing Sara with Darius.
Instead, he felt a bit of him die each day that passed and he was not with her, joined at the heart.
Darius groaned when he caught sight of a vehicle parked in his spot when they returned to the mansion.
He knew it belonged to Silas.
He escorted Sara up to her room, hoping to avoid Silas by entering from the back.
He was relieved when he was able to get Sara into their room and shut the door just as Silas made it to the second floor landing.
"What the hell are you doing here?" demanded Darius.
He purposely went to Silas to keep him away from their room.
"What do you think you were doing by taking your bitch into town as if she was someone?" sneered Silas.
"Protecting my heir. Humans need fresh air, food and water...so I decided to go to my restaurant for a bite to eat. Is it so wrong to kill two birds with one stone?" he challenged.
"So...you managed to impregnate her?"
"Yes."
Silas chuckled. "I want a go at her," he stated as he headed toward the door but Darius blocked him. "No."
"No? You dare tell me no?"
"Yes, I do. This is my house. That is my bitch with my heir and I don't intend to let anything happen to either of them."
"You think this puts you above me?" he challenged.
"You know the rules," stated Darius. "You don't get to fuck her until she's given me what I want. I want an heir. After the child is born, you can...have her."
"She must be good. I mean you've not had any other bitch...your men they tell me you prefer just her? How is that possible?"
"A sacrifice I'm willing to make if it gets me what I want."
Silas stepped closer to the door. "I expect to be told as soon as she brings forth that heir. Then, I get her before you give her to your men."
"I may keep her...for breeding purposes."
Silas snorted. "If she's that fertile, she will already be heavy with child by the time I'm done with her. I remember how Heather felt...the young ones...hardly tarnished is the way to go. Already I'm hardened by just the thought of bending her over and..."
"Go...fuck yourself," gritted Darius as he shoved Silas away and started to enter the room.
"Just remember. You turn her over to me," he warned.
Darius shut the door and locked it.
Sara was already in bed.
He took a deep breath as he sat down on the bed stroking her hair.
How do I turn you over to the animal that made me...
Her eyes drifted open. "Who was that man?" she questioned.
"Silas."
"Your father?"
Darius snorted. "We don't have 'families' Sara. We have clans...where the strongest is in control."
She closed her eyes, too tired to discuss the hierarchy of fallen angels.
"Never let him in," warned Darius. "Understand?"
When she did not respond his hands grabbed both of her arms and shook her. "Sara!"
Her eyes flew open, fear written on her face.
His grip eased as he released her, stroking her hair. "He means to have you, Sara."
Her eyes widened, understanding his meaning.
"Don't ever open the door...for any of them."
"I won't," she gulped.
He didn't like being so rough with her but her fear of them would help keep her safe.
"If any of them get in...use the dagger," he instructed.
"The dagger?"
"The one Heather gave to Grissom."
He pulled it out from under the mattress.
"But...you said it would only work once..."
"I lied."
"I could have used it...on you...then..." It hurt too much to finish her statement. All she wanted was to be with Grissom.
He grabbed her hands not sure what was going through her mind at the moment but the last thing he wanted was for her to put a hole in his chest. "It is said the blade is made from the spear that pierced Jesus' side while he hung on the cross. Traces of his blood remain on it. While His blood gave life to...humans...it can kill a fallen angel."
"Then...Heather..."
"Was truly fallen. She did not believe," he mourned.
Sara was silent.
"This is your best protection against Silas and the others."
She nodded.
"You regret...not trying to kill me," he huffed.
She couldn't deny it.
He took the dagger and placed it in her hand. "Do it."
She stared at it but then shoved it away.
"No," she choked.
"At least hit me," he said softly.
He was surprised when she slapped him.
"Ouch! That hurt," he grumbled.
Her hand stung from the force behind the slap.
He took her hand despite her objection and held it, caressing the scar on her palm.
"Silas...loathed Gracen. He was a thorn in his ass. He was giddy when Gracen resigned his position...to mate with you but then Silas decided he wanted you. If Gracen thought that you were special enough to risk everything then surely you were fertile."
She swallowed.
"I persuaded him...to let me take you," stated Darius.
"Why?"
"I told him it would be a way to further punish my mother for what she did...ripping out her womb. I also reminded him that it was I...who had impregnated her...not him."
"Why?" she asked again.
"I told you."
"You're grimacing...it's a lie."
He grumbled. "He's brutal. He would break your spirit...whereas I could compromise with you."
"Why?"
"You sound like a broken record," he griped.
"Why?" she whispered.
"Because I wanted you...for myself."
He tried not to flinch when he was zapped.
"Why?"
"Oh good grief! My mother was attached to Grissom...because he was kind to her. Silas planned to kill Grissom and just take you. My plan saved Grissom as well as the others so you would be more cooperative and not attempt to stab me at every turn but I swear woman it would be better if you just did that!"
"You loved your mother," she said softly.
"She despised me but I did everything I could to protect her...from Silas, giving her a means of diverting the attention from her to the women at the Dominion. Over time Silas left her alone as long as she supplied us with a steady flow of men and women. Demons like...both," he added when she frowned.
Sara glanced at the dagger. "The dagger won't work on you."
He said nothing.
She slipped back into the bed, closing her eyes.
"Keep it on your side. It makes the mattress lumpy," she announced.
Weeks went by and she refused to venture outside the room.
She couldn't get the sight of Sofia in Grissom's arms out of her mind.
Darius offered walks through the courtyard but she declined and her color faded quickly like a bloom without sunlight.
He left for a few hours at a time to keep from going stir crazy but never stayed away for any length of time.
She seemed quite frail these days as the bulge grew more and more until it was obvious she was pregnant.
"Sara, get your coat," he ordered.
She sighed angrily not wishing to argue once more about leaving the safety of the room.
He'd offered to let her roam within the house but it would mean coming into contact with the other fallen angels and she had no desire to be near them.
She didn't even have any desire to go outside for some fresh air, choosing to open the window from time to time but the air was cool these days.
She didn't know how to combat the depression she felt except to stay within the confines of the bedroom she now considered a sanctuary.
"I don't want to go out. It's raining….cold."
She pressed her cheek against the window pane, not able to explain the melancholy that enveloped her these days.
"We're going somewhere."
She balked but he grabbed her coat and pulled her toward the door.
She was surprised when they showed up at the mall.
Darius grabbed her hand as he pulled her along.
She hadn't even noticed that it was nearing the holidays.
Despite Thanksgiving fast approaching, already the stores displayed Christmas decorations.
She stopped to glance into a window to see the latest books on the bestseller's list.
He felt hopeful that her eyes lit up.
"He's a demon," commented Darius.
"Who?" asked Sara.
"Donald Trump. The bastard is making a fortune out of just firing people. In the old days he sent them to the guillotine."
"You're kidding," stated Sara.
"I wish," he muttered.
Sara turned and bumped into someone.
"I'm sorry," she said as her eyes widened.
"Nick," she gasped.
She instinctively reached to hug him but kept her distance when he stepped away as did Warrick and Greg.
"Hey," she finally got out.
She didn't know what to do with her hands so she let them fall to her side unable to swallow the emotions she felt.
Her heart leaped at the joy of seeing them again but her joy faded immediately at the looks she received.
She swallowed when she caught the look of disappointment in their eyes as they didn't reply but turned, walking away.
Nick shook his head in disgust, his eyes glancing at her abdomen.
She wrapped her arms protectively around her midsection.
Darius gripped her elbow. "Do you see how they looked at you? You are dead to them, Sara."
"I want to go back," she whispered.
He didn't object as she hastened her walk toward the exit.
Once they were outside, she leaned forward and vomited.
"You haven't done that in awhile," he commented as he stepped away.
He came unnerved when she burst into tears as she tried to get through another bout.
His hands were gentle as he pulled her toward him, forcing her to lean on him as they made their way to the car.
Their actions had clearly hurt her.
He didn't understand these "feelings" she had for these men.
He had made sure there was no way they would run into Grissom, his men reporting to him of his whereabouts.
He had wanted to do something nice for her, lift her spirits and their outing had turned out to be a disaster.
"Why do you grieve for these men? Did you not love Grissom only?" he asked out of curiosity.
"There are many forms of love," she said softly. "They are my family. Grissom is..." she didn't finish too emotional to describe the depths of her love for Grissom.
"They were your family," he countered. "They turned their back on you...just like Francis did to...my mother, Heather."
"Her name was Elena."
"Elena," he admitted.
That night she tossed and turned, not able to sleep.
She finally got up, choosing the chair by the fireplace.
He shifted to his side as he watched by the firelight.
Softly she hummed while she caressed the bulge.
He scrambled out of the bed when he noticed that her abdomen moved.
"When did you begin to feel the baby?" he asked.
"A few days ago," she gulped, the sting of the guys' reaction still painful.
He stood there in awe.
His knees sunk to the floor in front of her as he watched with delight.
"Does it hurt?" he questioned.
"No," she breathed.
His hands slid under her gown.
She stiffened at first but there was nothing sexual in his touch but rather a need to see and feel firsthand, the life moving within her.
Once her gown was out of the way, his hands gently clutched the small mound.
He grinned when it seemed to tap as if trying to find a way out.
He tapped on her stomach and chuckled when he felt a movement in return.
"Curious tyke," he smiled.
Eventually, the movement stopped.
He stood but extended his hand.
"Come back to bed," he ordered softly.
She lay on her side as she felt the muscle spasm begin in her lower back.
Without a word, he rubbed her back, kneading out the knot.
That night, he slept close to her, needing to feel the life inside her.
The melancholy was thick the next day as he came and went but she kept to herself.
Later, he tossed a stack of books onto the bed.
"All on the best sellers list," he offered.
He'd hoped that by bringing the books to her he would once again see her eyes light up.
He thought she would be eager to read but she lay there instead.
"What do you want, Sara?"
"What's going to happen when the baby is born?" she asked.
"It's customary for…babies to be taken from their mothers…and…"
"No!"
"That's the way it is, Sara."
"Where will it go?"
"It stays with its father…it learns obedience. It…."
"Is that what you learned when they took you away from Elena? They beat you. They made you sleep in a damp basement, tortured you when you showed any emotion…killed…"
"Stop! It made me who I am."
"It made you into a monster."
"So…you reveal your true feelings," he bit out.
"You've changed. They tried to make you into…a fallen angel…but they can't take away the goodness that's inside of you."
He chuckled. "The pregnancy is affecting your mind. My child will be raised…like me."
"I will not allow that to happen to my child."
"You have no choice."
"Yes, I do…so do you."
"If your claim is correct that the child carries my blood then my child will be treated…like a fallen angel."
"You are not fallen."
"Yes, I am," he glared.
"You…you are an angel treated like a demon."
"I am the offspring of…Silas. I am…"
"No, you're not."
"He sired me."
"He claimed you after Elena was brought here…but she was already pregnant…by Francis."
He shoved her away as his eyes shot daggers at her but she held her ground.
"That's a lie. Just the thought disgusts me. There is nothing good in me."
"Darius, you are good. You've protected me. You've…"
His hand went up to silence her.
"The only reason you are protected is because of this baby. Once it is born then…"
"I'll be given to the guards," she finished.
You'll be given to Silas...
He's much worse...
I can't keep him from taking you but I can the guards...
"I'll wait…see if you can become pregnant again…if not then yes, you will be given to the guards."
She didn't care about herself but desperately needed to know that her child would be safe.
"You would torture our child? You would let your child suffer like you suffered?"
He clenched his teeth. It tore at his gut to think that the small innocent life he felt within Sara would endure what he had.
"That's the way things are."
"By your choice."
"By the clan's choice."
"Are you not in charge?"
"They take orders from me," he declared.
"Then you can change things."
"Only the strong survive, Sara. If I show weakness then…"
"You mean if you show any kindness…any human decency," she choked.
Both were quiet for a long time.
She never thought he would be cruel to the baby. Her anxiety rose over the thought of what would become of her child, Grissom's child.
"It's an empty threat, Sara. I wouldn't give you to the guards," he admitted.
I'd kill them if they touched you…
I can't stand the thought of giving you to Silas…
"I don't care about myself. I'd kill you before I allow you or any of them to hurt my child."
"Yes, I believe you would."
"I'd rather be dead...I'd rather die protecting my child."
She didn't speak to him for days even though she knew she was taking a huge risk by making him furious.
He exploded into anger one evening when she remained quiet.
"Answer me!" he yelled.
"Would you really harm…our baby?" she asked quietly.
"You woman, are…"
He wasn't prepared for her to grab his hand, placing it on her protruding stomach.
"Feel him, Darius. How could you hurt…something so innocent?" she asked in anquish.
He couldn't.
It made him angrier, knowing there was no way to protect Sara or the child.
As soon as the baby came, things would be out of his hands unless he went against his own clan.
He had allowed Silas to break him in order to survive.
Sara would die before letting Silas break her.
He knew it.
He swallowed not sure how to respond.
She shoved him away as if in disgust.
"Some things are worth dying for," she gritted.
Her eyes turned to him and he abruptly sat down on the edge of the bed.
Her eyes spoke what she refused.
"Are you ill?" he asked quietly.
She shook her head.
He cursed out loud. "You are impossible!"
He began to notice things as days passed.
She didn't venture far from the bed and there was little energy behind those dark orbs that cried at night.
"Tell me about…when you ingested Gracen's blood," he began one morning.
"I drank the entire vial. I almost died," she said.
"Was there someone to care for you? You humans need medical care?"
"Gracen warned me…we can't be examined by others…but we could confide in Doc. We knew we could trust him. He treated me….and Grissom."
"You will need someone for…the birth."
"Is there no one…here?" she asked.
He snorted. "Only those that would eat their young."
He meant it as a joke to lift her spirits but it made her shudder.
"We don't need medical care," he explained. "When we get injured, we rest...heal on our own."
"We'll need to find someone," she whispered.
"We'll get this "Doc" of yours," he replied but she shook her head.
"I don't think he would want to be involved," she said.
She wasn't sure she wanted to get Doc involved again.
It was too dangerous if anything went wrong.
He slid a cell phone over to her.
"Call him," he said. "Call…anyone you like."
She slid the phone back which only made him curse but he grabbed her hand and placed the phone in it.
"It's my phone. You can call…no one will know."
Her dim eyes stared at him.
"Call Doc!" he ordered.
Her fingers fumbled with the buttons and then she heard a familiar voice.
"Doc, it's Sara."
"Sara? Sara Sidle?"
"Yes, Doc."
There was nothing but silence.
"Doc, could you…"
"Sara, I'm very busy here. I can't talk…besides, I don't think I should be talking with you."
"I…"
There was a click and the line went dead.
Sara closed the phone and slid it back to Darius.
"We need to find someone else," she replied.
His jaw twitched.
He could feel her hurt and he wanted to gut this man named "Doc."
"You can call…anyone….but him," he offered as he left the phone beside her.
Later, he checked and sighed when he saw that she had not called anyone.
His eyes glared at her but she simply said, "There is no one."
He brought in movies for her to watch but she didn't seem to be interested.
He shoved the television over so that she could remain on the bed and still watch but her eyes drifted outside.
"Thanksgiving was yesterday," he said without thinking.
Fallen angels never celebrated holidays.
It was not in their nature.
"Would you like to take a drive?" he asked. "Go outside?"
She shook her head.
"You won't run into any of them in the damn courtyard, Sara," he gritted.
"It's not that," she said sadly.
"Then what? You haven't left this room in weeks!"
"It's safe…here," she replied softly.
He shook his head in disbelief. "Only for awhile."
Her trembling hands encircled her abdomen.
"What's wrong?" he asked quickly.
"I fear for my baby," she wept.
Me too...
Weeks passed and for the first time in his life, he worried over someone.
She ventured off the bed only to drift from the seat near the window to the chair in front of the fireplace.
He sat with her and brought up conversation.
She responded but there seemed such a sadness.
He knew she missed her old life.
Christmas Eve came.
The paper was filled with holiday events.
He hated this time of year.
He and his men tried to cause as much ruckus as they could.
Even his men grumbled about being stuck with nothing evil to do.
He finally sent them out to cause havoc at Lady Heather's Dominion but then actually regretted it since Sara fretted that they would harm or kill someone.
"I can't very well order them not to," he explained. "They just want to have some fun."
"Pain is not fun," she replied.
"What did you do…on Christmas?" he asked.
She worked every Christmas, knowing that Grissom would do the same, letting the others spend time with their families. They would go to midnight mass together on Christmas Eve.
"What did you do?" he repeated.
"It doesn't matter," she answered as she leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes.
She wanted more than anything to see Grissom.
Despite how their previous encounter had turned out, she longed to see him even it was just to watch him from a distance.
You could do that…
You could watch him…
Know that he is well…
It would help me get through the next few months…
"What do you want to do?" he asked.
She felt encouraged so she licked her lips and softly stated, "Mass."
"Mass? As in Catholic mass?" he asked.
"Yes."
"No."
"But you asked what I wanted to do. I go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve."
"No!"
"There aren't many people there at that hour and…"
"Fallen angels do not step foot into a church much less church grounds!"
"I could go alone…"
"Out of the question!"
"Darius, please."
"I have no intentions of going near a church during this time of year…or any time of the year for that matter."
"You could park a few blocks away and I could walk. I would only be gone for an hour or so and…"
"No."
"Just an hour," she begged.
"You ask too much!" he barked.
"A half hour," she pleaded.
He gritted his teeth. "Why?"
"It's tradition," she said softly. "It's how I spent my Christmas…please."
"You don't know what you're asking of me," he barked.
Her shoulders slumped as she stared at the fire place.
Hours ticked by as he paced the room like a caged animal.
"Grab your damn coat," he grumbled.
She did without a word.
They went out the back and she hastened to keep up with him even though he walked slowly, noticing how she tired easily.
They drove off without telling any of the guards where they were going.
His eyes scanned his rear view mirror several times as his hands gripped the steering wheel.
He parked two blocks from the church and turned off the engine.
"It's two blocks from the church," he growled.
"It's not far. I can make it," she urged.
"You haven't even walked a few feet in weeks and now…"
"I can make it," she repeated with urgency.
He didn't like letting her go on her own but he knew the area was well lit and it was a busy walkway.
He shook his head in disgust at how he worried for her safety when just last year, he prowled the nearby streets with his men looking for some unsuspecting couple to yank off the streets and harrass them.
The dominion had kept his men in women so there was no need to snatch some unsuspecting woman off the streets and have the police snooping around.
The women were paid quite nicely for their "willingness" to be passed around.
It was disgusting how they had to secretly sneak around the "good" in order to do "bad."
Now he had no stomach for such ill pleasures.
"One hour, Sara. You go and come back or…I let my men have fun…loads of fun," he warned trying to sound ruthless but sick with worry for her.
She shot out of the car, hurrying toward the chapel.
She knew Grissom often got there a few minutes before mass in order to secure a seat in the back section.
Her eyes scanned the area, hoping to spot his vehicle.
She was practically out of breath by the time she got there.
She searched for any sign of him but he was nowhere in sight.
Please, I just want to see his face tonight…
Just to look at him…
To be near him…
She felt a hand on her elbow and turned to find Father Brannigan.
"I must ask you to leave, Sara," he stated.
"Leave?"
"You are not welcome in God's house, you are considered fallen…like them," he whispered.
"I'm not allowed…inside?" she swallowed.
"No."
She started to go inside anyway but he blocked the door. "I can have you removed," he warned.
"On what charges? A sinner is not allowed inside….a sinner cannot be forgiven…a sinner is condemned…is that what your Bible says?"
"A fallen angel is not allowed inside….a fallen angel cannot be forgiven…a fallen…"
She turned away not bothering to listen any further.
She wrapped her jacket more firmly around her as she walked back.
Her heart started to beat erratically when she saw Grissom approaching.
He halted the moment he saw her, glancing around, surprised she was alone.
He said nothing as his eyes slowing roamed up and down her body.
She felt self conscious, trying to pull the jacket further down, not liking the way he looked at her.
She had told herself that seeing him would be enough but now that he stood before her she wanted so much to touch him even for the briefest moment.
Her hand reached out but he smacked it away.
"Don't touch me," he warned. "You've stepped into Heather's life with ease...you wear her clothes..."
Her eyes frantically glanced around to see if they were alone.
"Griss…"
"Get away from me," he bit out. "You are dead to me," he choked.
Note from author:
OH, that must have hurt. Don't beat up Grissom too much...he is going on the evidence...at least what he has...Posting may be erratic...I'll post as soon as the reviews come in. And yes, Grissom is about to find out...