Chapter Thirty Eight:
Lamb is comforted by the Lost Lamb
Grissom didn't mean the words, too riddled with pain of seeing her body heavy with child.
His words wounded her very soul as she gasped out loud but he ignored her pain, too engrossed with his own.
She broke into a run as she hurried away, her tears blinding her as she fled.
By the time he had gotten a handle on his emotions she had disappeared from sight.
He managed to make it to a secluded bench where he collapsed, not able to catch his breath from the sobs that escaped his lips.
He had been a mess ever since spotting them at the restaurant.
Every fiber of his being missed her, yearned for her and all that he could manage to do was let his anger strike out when coming face to face with her again.
Suddenly there was a strong need to find her and so he took off, roaming back and forth.
She had disappeared despite his efforts to locate her, wondering why she would be here of all places.
Could she have come...for mass?
We've been coming for the past five years...
Would she come...for me?
He frantically wanted to speak with her, find out why he still felt the things he did and if she felt them too.
He tried two different sidewalks but she was nowhere to be seen.
He finally gave up, slipping down on a bench, trying to catch his breath.
He swiped his hands over his eyes as he cringed over what he'd said to her.
I didn't mean it...
Forgive me, I didn't mean it...
She got back onto the sidewalk, realizing she was headed in the wrong direction.
She had run several blocks before she realized she was not being followed but then she stumbled and her knees hit the hard concrete surface as she cried out in pain.
Gravel bit into the bloody gouges on her knees and hands.
Clumsily she picked herself up, stumbling on and on, her hip connecting with the hard surface the next time she fell.
She struggled to her feet as she leaned against a tree, trying to breathe through the pain, her encounter with Grissom far more painful than her physical wounds.
She sat down on a bench when she felt a twinge in her abdomen.
People passed by but no one cared that she was in distress.
She lost track of the time as she tried to calm down, knowing Darius would be furious with her if he knew she had seen and talked with Grissom.
She tried to stand but her knees buckled, almost falling without the aid of the bench.
Despite the fact that her tears flowed freely for any passerby to witness, none stopped nor even looked in her direction.
She wiped the blood from the deep gashes on her hands onto her blouse as she tried to assess her ability to walk.
She knew she was already late getting back to the car so she forced herself up and hurried despite the pain in her back.
She opened the car door and by the expression on his face, she knew he was furious.
She slipped into the car, her breathing rather ragged.
"You broke your agreement," he bit out.
"I'm sorry I'm late," she panted.
He started the car and sped off, dodging in and out of vehicles at a high speed.
She braced herself as he slammed on his brakes avoiding a rear end collision.
"Did you even go to mass?" he barked.
"No."
"Why not?"
"They wouldn't let me…enter the church," she admitted.
"Why didn't you come right back to the car?"
"I fell and hurt myself," she said, not giving any other information.
"This is what I get for trusting you! I should have known…where have you been? Do you have any idea what will happen if my men...if Silas get wind that I let you go near a church? I never should have risked it!" he bellowed.
She swallowed hard remembering Grissom's words to Lurie: "I couldn't risk it."
"I never should have trusted you!" he snapped. "You broke your agreement. I should break mine!"
"Yes, I did…so punish me. Kill me…I'm dead anyway," she choked.
Her response silenced any further ranting.
Damn priest…
She's not even Catholic…
She went for Grissom…
He drove the rest of the way in silence.
He grumbled when he saw some of his men hanging around outside.
He slammed the car door, not bothering to look in her direction as she followed a few steps behind.
It was painful, taking the steps but already the men were gathering to catch a glimpse of her.
They chuckled when they noticed her blouse was smeared in blood.
Blood flowed from the cuts on her knees and legs as well as her hands.
"Had fun, Boss?" one called out.
"Not yet," he announced as he bellowed for Sara to hurry up.
He stood at the bedroom door and finally turned to look at her as she walked inside.
He grew alarmed by the sight of the blood on her clothes and body.
"What happened to you?" he spat.
"I told you…I fell," she said.
The sight of blood had never bothered him before.
In fact, he usually enjoyed seeing someone in pain.
He grabbed her hand but when she cried out, he grabbed her wrist instead, pulling her to the bathroom.
"Strip," he ordered.
She swallowed, not sure if he had decided on her punishment.
Slowly she removed her blouse and skirt, hoping he would allow her the decency to at least keep her undergarments on.
She was gently shoved onto the edge of the bathtub as he grabbed a washcloth along with some antibiotic crème.
She didn't know what to think when he washed her wounds and then placed bandages on them.
"You have a bruise on your hip. Did you hurt the baby when you fell?"
"What do you care?" she said in a hollow voice.
"Amswer me!" he seethed.
"No!" she replied as a single tear slipped down her cheek.
"Tears are pointless," he stated.
She swiped it away. "Yes, they are."
He flinched not liking the look of defeat on her face.
Whatever had happened, her spirit had been broken.
"I care…about the baby. Is the baby alright?"
Her hands pressed on her abdomen as if needing to reassure herself before nodding.
"May I turn in?" she whispered, teetering on the verge of tears that needed to be unleashed.
He nodded, not liking how she looked.
He remained in the bathroom but could not help but hear a slight sob as she rolled over.
He felt a heaviness in his chest, not liking how she made him feel.
"I'm going out for awhile," he stated.
Her eyes drifted to his.
"I'm not going to harm or kill anyone," he griped.
The door shut and he leaned against it, flinching when he heard his men down below.
They'd had several women delivered and were causing quite a ruckus.
She didn't know what to make of his departure but she was too exhausted to think anymore as she drifted off to sleep.
She felt her hair being stroked and then a slight kiss on her forehead.
She opened her eyes and stared into blue ones.
"Griss?"
"Sssh I managed to sneak in here," he whispered. "Just sleep….while I watch over you."
She swallowed as she struggled to sit up. "Get away from me!"
"Sara, what's wrong?"
"This isn't funny, Darius," she cried.
Darius morphed back. "I thought…"
"You thought what? So this is my punishment? You can't physically hurt me because of the baby so you choose to do this?" she shoved him away from her.
She struggled to get out of bed and he tried to help her but she swatted his hands away.
"Leave me alone," she cried. "Just leave me alone!"
"Fine! I was trying to do something nice. You're so damn used to spending time with Grissom on Christmas Eve I did this…for you."
She gulped realizing he was being sincere. "I'm sorry."
"You damn right you should be sorry. I can't stand the sight of him but I did it so…"
She paled.
"Never mind," he exclaimed as he threw his shirt onto the floor and got on his side of the bed.
She slipped into the bathroom and he listened intently to ensure that she was okay but as soon as the door opened, his head was under the covers.
She sat down in the chair near the fireplace.
He watched as her hands caressed the small bulge.
He knew she was crying.
He could feel it.
"Come to bed," he ordered softly.
"I'll sit for awhile," she replied.
"Get in the damn bed, Sara."
She got into the bed and attempted to lie on her side.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Back…hurts," she wept.
He rolled over and began to rub her back.
"You saw him didn't you?" he said.
She told him the truth.
She didn't like to lie and she knew it would be much worse if she was caught in a lie.
"I just wanted to see him...I wasn't planning to talk to him," she choked.
Darius gritted his teeth knowing the outcome by her demeaner.
"He said...he said I was dead to him."
"They condemn without even knowing the facts," he growled. "They think they are so..."
She stiffened for a moment as if in pain and he worried for the baby's health.
He continued to rub out the stiffness and was surprised when she leaned back, resting fully against him.
His gentle kneading did wonders for the excruciating pain she was feeling.
It was the only kindness she'd received on this miserable Christmas Eve and it was coming from a fallen angel.
He couldn't remember any other time when he held a woman so intimately much less slept with one.
He only saw them as a means of sexual gratification.
Sara was different.
He shifted so that he was fully on his side and gently pulled her closer.
He wrapped his arms around her and his heart lurched when a slight hiccup escaped her lips.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He wasn't used to showing kindness.
He pressed his lips against her temple.
There was nothing sexual about the embrace but he felt a strong surge of protection toward her.
He worried that the fall had harmed the baby.
"Are you sure, the fall didn't…"
"I wouldn't hurt my baby on purpose," she cried. "I wouldn't," she hiccupped and he tightened his hold on her. "I was rushing back but I fell. I couldn't keep my balance. I felt a pain in my abdomen so I sat on a bench until I felt it was safe to move."
"Trying to go there…it did no good," he said gruffly. "Was it worth the risk?"
"No," she gulped.
Grissom had wounded her spirit.
She cried softly and he said nothing, not wishing to make her feel more miserable than she already felt.
Eventually she slept, it was fitful but there were no signs of a miscarriage.
His body molded to hers providing a safe cocoon of sorts.
"You're safe…the baby is safe," he whispered over and over, needing her to feel safe, knowing that she had rarely felt safe as a child much less as an adult.
He knew she worried about the baby and this added incident just increased her anxiety.
He could still see her anguished face as she'd lost the baby.
It had been the hardest vision to endure, knowing he had been the direct cause of her pain.
That morning he slipped out of bed, not sure what a fallen angel could offer her on Christmas day.
He wanted to lift her spirits.
He offered Christmas dinner or something special to eat but she declined.
She chose instead to have whatever he wanted.
He started to order his favorite which consisted of a bloody steak and potatoes.
This Christmas he ordered salads.
"Thank you…for taking care of me," she said softly while she picked at her salad.
"You carry my heir," he said gruffly.
Her eyes dimmed further.
He offered her the use of the phone and credit card, saying she could order something…money was no object but she left it beside the bed.
He clenched his teeth. "That priest….he thinks he's so damn…holy…I'll…"
"What did the priest do?" she asked quietly.
"He lets the lowest of scum into his precious church and yet he wouldn't let…."
"He was right. Fallen angels can not be redeemed...it doesn't matter," she whispered as she returned to the bed.
"Now you see what we endure," he seethed.
"It shouldn't matter to….a fallen angel," she pointed out.
It did matter…to him.
He'd never felt like he belonged in either world.
"They consider you fallen as well," he said matter of fact.
"Yes, they do," she admitted as she took her place on the bed.
He didn't like the way she looked.
Days passed as she slowly deteriorated before his very eyes.
She woke one evening feeling very agitated.
He plopped down on the bed, noticing her distress immediately and feared it might be the baby.
"What's going to happen…to my baby?" she pressed.
"Our baby," he corrected.
"Our baby," she admitted. "Darius…I have nothing…to give you…to bargain with…but promise me you'll protect our baby," she begged.
His chest tightened as he struggled to breathe. "I promise, Sara. I won't…I won't let anyone hurt…our child."
Her hand slipped into his. "Thank you," she whispered but then whimpered as she rolled to her side trying to get comfortable.
"What's wrong?"
"Baby is kicking," she replied.
He pressed his hand against her protruding stomach, in awe at the force of the kick.
"The baby is strong!" he grinned.
She nodded.
He chuckled as he continued to feel the baby but caught her distress.
"Your back?" he questioned.
She nodded.
He shifted so that he could rub her back.
"Better?"
"Yes," she said as she drifted to sleep.
He hated feeling helpless as he watched the life slowly ebb out of her as the days drifted by.
She was dying and he knew it.
Worse, he felt she knew it and didn't care.
Fallen angels refused to die and yet he did not feel as though there was much fight left in her.
"You have another month left before the baby comes…right?" he asked out of the blue.
"Yes," she said weakly.
"You're dying," he bit out.
"I'm not."
She slept most of the time as he struggled with how to help her.
Don't harm or kill….
She was awakened by a noise outside the bedroom door.
The door flew open and Darius shoved Doc into the room.
Sara remained on her side.
"Sara?"
She turned and was surprised to see Doc.
"Doc? You came…how?"
"I was kidnapped….yanked out of my car in my driveway and brought here."
She slumped back down. Her eyes silently accused Darius.
"I kept my agreement. I did not harm or kill…him."
"Doc, you can leave," stated Sara.
"Is this goon going to stop me?" he complained.
"Yes, I am. You're not leaving until you examine her."
"Darius, please let him go."
Darius shoved him toward the bed. "Examine her and then you can leave."
"I have no expertise in demons," he said.
"Fallen angels!" barked Darius.
The remark made Sara bristle, not liking that already her friends considered her evil.
Doc walked over to the bed and took Sara's wrist into his hand but she pulled away.
"You look anemic," he griped. "Any blood work done?"
She shook her head, swallowing her pride since she feared for her baby's life.
"Any medical care…at all?"
She didn't reply.
He listened to her breathing and stared at her.
"How do you feel?" he asked worriedly.
"Tired," she replied.
He was amazed at how large she was.
"Big baby…must be four months…according to their cycle," he commented.
"Another month or so left," Sara got out.
Doc shifted his attention to Darius.
"She needs medical care," Doc announced.
"That's what you're for," he griped.
"She needs an ultrasound…blood work," he stated.
"Give me a list of things you need," stated Darius.
"She could come to my office and…"
"Fine," replied Darius.
Doc was surprised at how easily Darius agreed.
She couldn't bear the thought of running into Grissom.
"You're dead to me."
"No," she replied weakly.
Darius came around to the side of the bed and threw back the covers. "You're going."
"Darius…please. I can't go."
His hand dropped to her forehead. "She has chills then she's burning up. She's in pain but she doesn't complain."
Darius glanced down at her, not liking the situation.
"Sara, I'm taking you," he urged.
"I won't go," she complained as she struggled to scoot away from him.
Her mere actions were only weakening her.
He griped out loud making Doc uncomfortable.
"Get a list of things you need, I'll pay for it," growled Darius.
"It would be easier if she came to the office. I have to get back. They will miss me."
"Then call them!"
"What makes you think I won't call the police and report that I've been kidnapped?"
Darius pulled him away from the bed. "I have an agreement with her not to harm or kill any of you but if anything happens to her or that child then I will destroy all of you."
Doc glanced at Sara who had drifted off to sleep.
"I'll make a list."
"Check it twice," glared Darius.
"Or you'll be naughty…not nice," Doc griped.
"Cut the Christmas crap," he warned. "Christmas is over…just like your life if you do anything to hurt her."
David tapped on Grissom's door.
"Hey David," replied Grissom.
David came in and shut the door.
"Doc called. He isn't coming in today."
"Okay," replied Grissom not sure why David was telling him this.
"He said he's with Sara. Some man by the name of Darius brought him to their home. Sara is ill."
Grissom swallowed.
He'd felt off for days.
"Is…she alright?"
"Doc said to give you this list of things he's going to need."
Grissom shuffled his feet as he glanced at the list.
He didn't know why Doc wanted him to collect the items.
David could have done it.
Something may be wrong with the baby...
"I'll have them delivered immediately."
David hesitated. "I could have done it...but he insisted that you do it. Do you know why?"
"No, David. I don't," admitted Grissom.
Darius answered the knock on the door and was relieved when his guard notified him the equipment had arrived.
Doc was disappointed, hoping that Grissom would have tried to deliver it himself.
Grissom had gotten everything on the list in record time, and Doc wondered if he had pulled some strings in order to get some of it.
Doc began with the ultrasound.
Darius was quite amazed as he watched the baby.
"It's a boy," commented Doc.
Sara stirred.
"Sara?" urged Darius.
She opened her eyes.
"It's a boy," Darius announced.
"A boy?" she whispered.
"Yes."
"Is he alright, Doc?" she questioned.
"Very healthy."
She nodded in relief.
Doc glanced at Darius. "I'll run a few tests."
An hour later, Doc closed his bag, not liking the results of his preliminary tests.
"How is she?" Darius asked.
"Her blood count is low….her immunity system is all but nonexistent. From a human stand point, she's dying…or should be dead. I'm not sure about the fallen angel bit."
"She's not fallen," he bit out. "Is there anything that can be done?"
"I don't know. I have little or no experience in dealing with…this stuff."
"Could you treat the anemia?"
"I tried with Grissom but it didn't work."
"But he got better. He's better now."
"Sara performed the ritual again…the cutting part only. It seems her blood cured Grissom."
He glanced at his palm. "I'll do it again."
"You…performed the ritual…with Sara?"
"She insisted," he explained.
"I didn't think fallen angels…believed in that kind of stuff."
"We don't."
Doc put his things away and stood.
"Where do you think you are going?" huffed Darius.
"There isn't anything further I can do."
Doc headed toward the door. "Don't send your goons. I'll be back tomorrow."
"I'll have one of my men drop you off," answered Darius.
Doc glanced back at Sara who remained sleeping.
"Call me if she gets worse," stated Doc, not liking how she looked.
"Thank you," stated Darius without thought.
Grissom glanced up when he spotted Doc heading toward his office.
Doc was followed by Brass.
They shut the door but he kept his eyes on the reports in front of him.
"Sara has severe anemia. She's dying," stated Doc.
"You are dead to me."
His words echoed in his head.
"I'm sorry…to hear that," replied Grissom, trying desperately not to break down.
Doc grabbed his hand and flipped it over.
"You have the same scar as Sara."
Grissom pulled his hand away.
"Darius said they did the ritual…at Sara's insistence."
"Doc, is there a point you are trying to make?"
"He said that he made an agreement with Sara….not to harm or kill any of us…but if anything happens to Sara or the baby then the deal is off."
Brass cursed. "I told you there was a reason she agreed to go with the bastard."
"She made her choice," Grissom said quietly.
"Her choice? You're just pissed because she chose to give herself to a fallen angel in order to save your sorry ass."
"She didn't have to do that!" yelled Grissom. "Francis and I could have protected her."
"What if Darius showed her that you couldn't? Do you think it was mere coincidence that on the same day Sara decided to go with Darius, I get attacked as well as Francis?"
He'd thought of that a hundred times but then visions of her in bed with Darius as well as the baby she now carried told him she was lost to him.
Or was she?
"I'm going back there tomorrow," announced Doc.
"You should have tried to get him to allow her to come here," griped Brass.
"I offered it….and he agreed but then Sara refused to…leave. I think she's too weak. She knows she's dying. She's trying to conserve her energy for this baby."
Nick tapped on the door. "Hey, is this a private discussion or three guys planning a night out?" he teased.
Nick's smile faded when he saw their grim faces.
"I saw Sara today," stated Doc.
Nick glanced at Grissom. "Then you know she's pregnant. We saw her several weeks ago…in the mall…with him."
"You never said anything," stated Brass irritably.
"Yeah, well we just sort of bumped into them. She said hello but we walked away. She doesn't bother calling us…or anyone for that matter so we can act the same way."
"What if she couldn't?" complained Brass.
"She called me," admitted Doc.
"When?" asked Brass.
"A few weeks ago. I picked up the phone and it was her. I didn't give her a chance to say much but blew her off. The next thing I know Darius is shoving me into a car. Good thing he did. I don't think she has much time left. I'm not even sure she'll survive until the baby is due."
"Is something wrong with Sara?" asked Nick.
"Yes, Nicky," answered Grissom.
Grissom stacked up the reports needing to keep busy while Doc relayed the information one more time.
It made it almost hard to breathe to hear the news again.
"None of this makes sense. I mean…He actually thanked me…a demon," griped Doc.
Grissom looked up. "Darius thanked you?"
"Yes. He seemed genuinely concerned about Sara and the baby."
"He wants an heir," reasoned Grissom.
"It seemed more than that…something that he said…that she wasn't fallen," replied Doc. "I need to get to work. David is backed up. I'll let you know about her condition tomorrow."
He was envious that Doc was getting to see her but then he wasn't sure if he could endure being close to her, knowing that she belonged to Darius.
She felt the prick of the needle and woke to find Doc sitting beside her.
"How do you feel today?" he asked.
"There is nothing that you can do, Doc."
"You're probably right."
Darius stepped closer. "What about a blood transfusion?"
"It's possible but I don't know what the effects would be on the baby," answered Doc.
"No," she insisted.
Her eyes turned to Darius.
"Do it," he ordered.
It shocked Doc.
"No," she insisted as she tried to sit up.
"I said do it," ordered Darius.
She glanced at Doc and then back at Darius.
"No!"
"I can't do it if she refuses," stated Doc. "Besides you can't act on her behalf."
Darius glared at him. "Yes, I can and I just did."
"You're not married to her….you don't have medical power of attorney."
"I don't need any of that," he snorted. "You forget where you are….and who you are talking to."
"Doc, go," stated Sara.
"Stay!" Darius ordered.
"Darius," Sara whispered.
"You're dying. I can feel it," he bit out.
"You don't want to die," sneered Doc trying to explain Darius' concern. "Since you're bonded then…"
Sara shook her head.
"I thought that if you do the ritual then your lives are joined. If one dies then…"
"Not dying," announced Darius with his arms folded. "Fallen angels will do anything to keep from dying…not necessary in this case. I'm immune to that bonding crap…or most of it," he griped remembering his eunuch status.
Doc's phone rang.
He glanced toward the two.
He listened as Brass told him of Grissom's collapse.
"I have to go. Something has happened at the lab. Someone is sick."
He eyed Sara to see her reaction.
"You can't leave!" cursed Darius.
"Darius, let him go," said Sara softly.
"He hasn't done anything. You're not better!"
Sara grabbed Darius's hand and he held hers tight. "Darius, let him go, please."
"Go," he griped. "But get back here."
Doc rushed to the door but looked back at Sara. "Sara, I wouldn't leave if it wasn't…important."
"It's okay, Doc," she said, closing her eyes as Darius stroked her hair.
"Call me…if she worsens," Doc called out.
"Like any of you care," gritted Darius.
"We do," urged Doc as he rushed out, hoping to get back soon.
Grissom grumbled when he was shoved back down on the couch for the third time.
"You were out cold for several minutes," complained Warrick.
"I got up too quickly," explained Grissom.
"You're not getting up," ordered Catherine.
Grissom grumbled as he lay there, not sure why he just blacked out.
Doc rushed inside, trying to catch his breath.
"Busy day," he grumbled as he checked Grissom.
"Let's run some blood tests," he stated.
Doc took his pulse.
"It seems you collapsed just in time."
"Just in time for what? So you can poke and prod?"
"Sara is worse. Darius ordered a blood transfusion but Sara refused. She's afraid it will harm the baby."
"I'm sure he agreed with her," stated Grissom as he sat up ignoring Catherine's glare.
"No, he was insisting but Sara ordered me to leave…to come here. I didn't tell her it was to take care of you."
"I'm fine."
"Sara is dying. Darius is in perfect health while you are feeling the effects of Sara's health decline. What does that tell you?"
Grissom rolled down his sleeve. "I have no idea."
"Your bond with Sara is still intact."
"Once they….I should have been released. I don't know why I wasn't. I don't know anything anymore."
"Sara insisted they complete the ritual. Darius should die if Sara does…not you. And yet, he's in perfect health…though worried sick about Sara."
"What does Francis have to say about any of this?" questioned Brass.
Grissom walked past them.
"Where are you going?" asked Brass.
"To talk with Francis," replied Grissom.
"I'm driving," called out Brass.
Note from author:
Posting early so if you haven't reviewed the other chapter yet, do so...the next chapter...well, things move fast...