Chapter Forty Five:
Falling Into Old Habits
That morning she sat at the kitchen, drinking some juice while Darius held Matthew.
Grissom walked into the kitchen and was offered a cup of coffee by Francis.
He took it as Sara watched him intently.
"How about some breakfast?" offered Francis.
"No thank you," stated Grissom as he fumbled through his brief case.
"Court?" she asked.
"Meeting with the undersheriff," he replied.
"You…still look tired."
He hadn't gotten much sleep, unable to unwind so he'd spent most of the night with Matthew, needing to feel connected to Sara.
He'd hoped he would be able to talk with Sara but he wasn't prepared to find her sleeping beside Darius.
It was a movie…
He's a eunuch…
His phone rang and he stepped out of the kitchen.
Sara took Matthew and headed toward the nursery.
Darius started to follow but Francis grabbed his arm. "Learn from your brother's mistakes," whispered Francis.
"I have no brother," he stated.
"Sara and Grissom belong together...you're intended as a watcher."
"Good, then I'll go watch over her," griped Darius.
"Darius…don't let him tempt you. Don't let him plant ideas into your heart that you know is wrong."
"You make no sense," huffed Darius.
"You were restrained…so you could be taught right from wrong…now, you must decide. Don't do anything that will cost you everything you've gained."
"You know nothing about me!" he glared.
"You can't live in both worlds and not be affected by one or the other."
"What would you have me do? If I leave the clan, I will be replaced by someone who may come after Sara. Don't think that Lucifer is happy that Sara and the baby got away…because of me. There will be hell to pay for that and I know it."
Francis blocked Darius from leaving. "You can't come back and forth. You can't expect to live with evil and pretend to be evil and not tip your hand. They will see that you've changed and they will turn on you."
"Which is why I can't be contacted when I'm there. Sara will learn...we'll work something out."
"Do you think that you can just leave evil and it not follow you? Darius, you…you were different when you returned. Sara and I both felt…"
"Stay out of this," seethed Darius.
"You can't think that you can pull this off. You will have to show that you are more ruthless than them. Will you do it? Will you fall back into your old life…filled with…" Francis gulped, "I heard what you were like, son. You were…"
"Evil? What choice did I have dear father?"
"I understand….some of it but…."
Darius shoved him away. "In your eyes I will never be as good and angelic like Joseph…or worse Gracen. You look at me and see…"
"I see my mistake," grieved Francis.
"So I'm a mistake. You knocked up my mother and…"
"No! Never that kind of mistake, Darius. My mistake was not going after your mother, trying to get her back. It is my fault you had to endure such atrocities. I see the good in you every time you hold Matthew. You have so much love to give but…that love is not for Sara. She belongs to Grissom."
"I won't give up Sara or Matthew," he snarled.
"Let me help you," offered Francis.
"How can you help me?"
"I can help you make the right decision," urged Francis.
"You don't want me to stay with the clan and yet you don't want me here…with Sara. You would like for me to disappear wouldn't you? You have your precious blood line continued. You have Grissom and Sara along with Matthew. What you don't need is me!"
"That's not true!"
Francis grabbed Darius by the arm but he shoved him away.
"Don't start a fight that I can easily win," Darius warned.
"I love you Darius. You are my son…my blood. Please let me help you," offered Francis.
"You are no father to me," glared Darius.
Francis blocked his path and he cursed. "Sara loves you…but not in the same way that she does Grissom. Don't let that love…and lust blind you."
"Stay clear of me," he warned.
Francis stepped out of his way.. "I'm here if you need me."
"I don't need your help," glared Darius.
"You were not meant to have her," warned Francis.
Sara started toward the nursery when she heard a slight noise coming from the end of the hall.
She appeared in Grissom's doorway and tapped lightly.
"How did you sleep on the new mattress?" she asked.
"Oh…it was fine," he said.
"You look like you didn't sleep well," she stated.
Grissom took Matthew. "I had a lot on my mind," he admitted.
"Griss…I know you don't like the arrangements but…"
"How was the movie?" he asked.
"I fell asleep," she admitted.
"I know," he bit out as he carried Matthew to the nursery.
"How…did you know?" she questioned.
"I wanted to talk with you so I got up…found you asleep while he was still in your bed."
She had thought Darius would go to his room but he'd fallen asleep as well.
He was still sleeping with her when Matthew woke for one of his feedings early that morning and she wondered if Grissom had seen them together.
She watched as he gently spoke to the baby before placing a kiss on his forehead and then placed him in the crib.
"Griss…"
"I need to go," he said.
"We're not sleeping together," she blurted. "I mean we did but not like…you know. It was an accident. I was tired after the moving and…"
He stopped in front her, hushing her as he leaned in and gently kissed her on the lips. "I trust you…with my heart, Sara. You wouldn't break…our bond."
"Grissom, we don't have a bond anymore. If we did, we would…feel…something by now."
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, leaving her weak in the knees. "You should," he said sadly.
He started to leave when her hand caught his. "Do you?" she asked suddenly.
"I've always wanted you, Sara. I don't need…any angelic urging to prove to me that we belong together," he said as he leaned in and kissed her once more.
He started to move away when she stepped fully into his arms, initiating the kiss this time but he quickly took the lead, taking the physical contact he'd been craving. His body reacted immediately to her touch, wanting much more but knowing that the timing was wrong.
They stepped back as if out of breath.
"Miss me," he whispered as he left.
"Grissom?" she called.
He turned just as he got to the doorway.
"I will. I'll miss you," she replied.
She realized at that moment how much she missed being with him.
There was so much she needed to tell him but withheld it, knowing that he needed to get to his meeting.
She swiped at her eyes as she felt the slow humming begin to build.
That kiss had awakened her need for intimacy.
It wasn't the same urge they'd felt before but she agreed with Grissom.
She didn't need the "urge" since her love was more than enough.
Moments passed as she stood there watching the baby.
She felt arms encircle her and she smiled. "I thought you had to leave."
Darius frowned when he caught her swiping at her eyes.
"Not Grissom," announced Darius.
She stiffened and he released her.
"So…I take it Grissom was angry that he caught us in bed last night," stated Darius.
"How did you know that he'd seen us?' she questioned.
"He peaked in just as he went into Matthew's room," replied Darius.
"Did Matthew wake? You said…"
"Matthew was sleeping. He went in there and rocked him. I could hear him…talking to Matthew."
He didn't sleep which explains why he's still exhausted…
"He wasn't angry. He said he trusted me…since we're bonded together," she replied.
"You're not sure about that," he said as he glanced down at the sleeping baby.
"No…but I do…love him."
Her words were like a knife in his chest.
"That will never change. I'll always love him."
He clenched his fist.
"Darius…something is different about you. What happened at the mansion?"
"The usual…fallen angels…being themselves."
"I'm worried about you," she said.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why? I care about you! Mathew is part of you," she said.
"Which part? Evil or…just fallen," he said.
He was surprised he'd even said it so he tried to shrug it off as a joke.
She grabbed him forcing him to look at her. "Darius, I don't want you to go back…there. Stay here with us."
"I can't," he bit out.
"Are you just going to walk out of the door without a word…like you did before?"
"You have Grissom…Francis," he sneered. "You don't need me."
"What's gotten into you?" she grieved. "I need you as much as I need them."
"Do you love me, Sara?" he whispered.
She swallowed now sensing what was different.
"Yes," she admitted. But like I love Nick or Warrick or Greg…
She wasn't prepared for him to kiss her.
His lips descended with immense pressure but then softened.
He forced himself to release her, already feeling his need for her increase tenfold.
She pretended to not feel his erection as he held her.
She knew that he had not been zapped for kissing her which completely baffled her.
"You love me…like you do your other friends," he said.
"Yes, Darius….we'll always be connected," she urged.
He nodded sadly, stepping away from her.
"Take her!" a voice demanded but he stepped further away from her.
"You deserve her…she's yours…not Grissom's!"
Darius turned and stared down at Matthew.
"Did you really like the room?" he asked.
"Yes," she said as she gently placed her hand on his back. Her touch felt soothing.
"I didn't know…what a baby needs or would want."
"Everything is perfect. The house is beautiful…well it will be once the boxes are gone. Thank you, Darius. The house is just what all of us needed."
Her fingers were gently caressing him. He felt her warmth through his shirt, exciting him further.
"We should get the rest of the boxes unloaded," he said as he flew out of the nursery.
They spent the rest of the day passing one another as the boxes were unloaded and then tossed to the curb.
She tried to make conversation but it was as if he wanted to focus on putting the house together so she refrained from talking.
Grissom arrived for a few hours before shift, commenting about the progress that had been made before disappearing into his room.
He looked quite haggard so she didn't try to speak with him, knowing he needed sleep.
Francis ordered take out for everyone but Darius refused to eat, choosing to finish the work.
He kept to himself as Grissom woke and then spent an hour with Matthew before having to leave for work once more.
She wanted desperately to talk with Darius, not liking how he seemed too quiet.
Once Grissom left, she raced up the stairs and found him in the nursery holding Matthew.
"I think he needs to nurse," he whispered as he handed the baby to Sara.
She took the baby, not sure what to do.
"Feed him," he whispered as he stood, offering her the rocker.
She took it, positioning the baby while she glanced at Darius who was now standing in front of the window
The baby latched on immediately as Sara nervously glanced toward Darius.
"You've been avoiding me," she managed to get out.
"We needed to get the house finished," he said.
"You fool. You are going to let him have her. She belongs to you. Why does he get everything while you get bread crumbs." "Shut up," seethed Darius softly.
"Did you say something?" she asked.
He turned and faced her just as Matthew released her nipple.
He'd seen her naked body before but now it only added salt to a wound he thought would kill him for sure.
She switched the baby to the other side and he suckled loudly.
Darius knelt down in front of the rocker. He caressed the baby's cheek before leaning over to kiss his forehead.
He started to get up but Sara placed her hand on his arm and he took it, caressing her palm.
He felt the strong urge to kiss her again.
His body screamed for her as she smiled so innocently at him.
The sight of her nursing the baby made him swallow.
It was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen.
"Wait until she puts the baby to bed and then bed her. She won't struggle…much."
"I love you, Sara. You're the only family I've ever had. You're the only person…" he could feel the sobs rushing forth. It felt as if they would choke him.
"Darius…"
He practically flew out of the room.
"Darius!" she called as she quickly tried to lay the baby in the crib and go after him.
She flew down the stairs, intent to stop him from leaving but Francis blocked her at the door.
"Move!" she ordered as she tried to open the door.
She heard his car leave and she swallowed. "He's…going back…to them. Why didn't you stop him?"
"He had to choose," grieved Francis. "He refuses…any help."
Matthew's cries could be heard.
"Sara, your son needs you," stated Francis softly.
"Your son needs you!" she cried.
"He won't accept my help," Francis explained.
"He won't or can't! Despite what he says, he's protecting all of us!"
She returned a few minutes later carrying Matthew along with something wrapped in a small blanket.
"Take this to him," she ordered. "He needs it more than we do."
Francis unwrapped the jeweled dagger.
"This killed…Elena," he whispered.
"But it will save your son," she said as she started for the stairs but halted. "Lock the door behind you. Brass is already on his way."
"Sara, Darius gave this to you in order to protect yourself and the baby," Francis quickly said.
"Darius needs our help! Something…or someone is messing…with him. He's not his self," she grieved.
Francis stepped forward. "Why do you say this? Has he done…something…to you?"
"No, he hasn't. Francis, please! Go and bring him back. He needs to be here with his family."
"Sara…"
"If you don't go then I will," she threatened.
There was a tap on the door and Francis looked out. "It's Brass."
An hour had passed since Brass had arrived.
"Maybe he's not used to living….with humans and prefers demons," stated Brass.
"He doesn't," she insisted.
"Sara…what if he's trying to protect you?"
"I was supposed to stay with Darius….I can't if he's there. I don't want to go there," she began.
"Hell no, you don't! You wouldn't think of taking that baby into the middle of that demon infested place."
"Jim, I need Darius here. He needs to be here with us."
"Maybe Francis can talk some sense into him," stated Brass.
Darius leaned back in the bed as the red head slipped off her top, smiling as she shook her large breasts at him.
He said nothing as he watched her strip.
The woman had been sent up there by the others, letting him have her before they took her.
He couldn't be angry with them for following the rules, but this was the last thing he needed.
"You want me, don't you," she purred.
"I want you…out," he said as he grabbed her by the arm and slung her out into the hall. "Do not come near me again."
"But…they said you always get the first sample," she said.
"I'm on a diet," he grumbled as he slammed the door in disgust, not liking how his body responded to the naked woman.
"This!" he snarled into the air. "You get me used to being a eunuch and then you return me to this."
He grabbed a bottle of beer and slumped down into the chair next to the fireplace.
The smell of cigar smoke filled his nostrils.
"You disappoint me, Darius. You've had more than enough opportunity to take Sara and you haven't."
"Screw you," he muttered as he refused to look at Lucifer as he appeared in front of the fireplace.
"You didn't even take the redhead…my favorite," Lucifer said with a sigh.
"Not my type," replied Darius.
"How long do you think you can keep this up? You yell but yet you do no harm…you don't kill."
"I killed Silas."
"Ah…you think that will scare them into submission? Not for long. Your men will see your weakness and will try to overthrow you…and when they do they will be the ones to take Sara. Is that what you want? She will be passed around until there is nothing left of her. They will smash the brains of the child on the wall to stop its cries while she watches. Her friends…even Grissom will die in front of her eyes. She will feel her worst pain just because you refused to take her for yourself."
He puffed on the cigar. "Is it so bad to take her? You can save the baby and her…she will thank you…be grateful. She will give you another child."
Lucifer leaned over and forced Darius to look at him. "She is half angel…we are all fallen according to Him. You won't be condemning her…you will be saving her from the misery that is waiting to take her."
"As long as I keep the men under control, she is safe," stated Darius.
"As long as my men are here, she is not safe."
Darius took a deep breath, as if the air was growing thin in the room.
"Do you think that I do not know about the pathetic white house with the picket fence? I know everything!"
Darius's heart thudded loudly.
"I'll let you think about it. In the meantime, you're still here alone and she is with…Grissom. He will have her in his bed soon."
"She belongs to him…not me."
"Disappointing. I can already hear her screams. Remember the look your mother gave you. There will be no place to hide from Sara's. She will hate you because you wouldn't save her. It will be your fault."
The smoke had barely dissipated when the door opened and Darius whirled around, coming face to face with Francis.
"You stupid fool!" snarled Darius.
"No one knows that I am here," he said as he came toward Darius.
"I told you the next time you came here…"
"You would kill me? You would kill your own father?" asked Francis.
Darius balled his hands into fist. "You may have killed all of us," he bit out.
"Then kill me, Darius. Kill me and you can let your guards put my dead body on display for Lucifer."
"Shut up," Darius said in a low voice.
"I don't fear him," stated Francis. "I fear…you. You are the only one who can hurt me…with the decisions you are going to make."
"Why are you here?"
"Sara sent me."
Darius gulped in air. "Sara?"
"Already your expression gives you away. You show your love for her too easily now. The others will see it. That love will be our downfall."
Francis handed Darius the dagger. "She said you needed this. She wanted you to be safe."
"You brought this?" he seethed. "That is the only protection Sara has in case they…try anything."
"She insisted that you have it. She wants you to come home," stated Francis.
"You know I can't…go back," gritted Darius.
Francis stepped closer. "Darius…he tells you lies. He wants you to fall. Don't listen to him."
Francis stepped even closer until he was standing directly in front of Darius.
Quickly he grabbed Darius into his arms, holding him despite the thought that Darius would use the dagger to kill him.
"I love you, son," Francis whispered as he kissed him on the forehead. "I'm sorry for failing you…but I won't fail you now."
Anger rose inside of Darius but Francis held him tight. "Let go of the anger, Darius. Let go of the pain."
"The pain made me strong. I beat them…I won…they didn't break me. I bent…to beat them at their own rules."
"Darius…"
Darius shoved him across the room. "Leave. I won't be responsible for what happens to you."
"Darius, please…"
"You think Sara and Matthew can be protected by mere humans? You were supposed to stay with them! Now, they will get to them."
"Are they coming?"
"We're coming," gritted Darius as he heard the door opened and a guard appeared, needing to not tip his hand.
Francis fought his way out of the door, rushing out the back, surprised the guard did not follow after him.
"Guard!" yelled Darius.
"You let him get away," stated the guard.
Darius shoved the blade into the guard, ignoring the blood that ran down his hand.
"There's no other way," he choked as he stepped out the door, calling out to his men. "Lock the place down!" yelled Darius.
Note from author:
Sorry for the angst…this chapter went on for over 30 pages so I had to break it up…it just seemed like a good cliffhanger spot to stop. LOL