Just A Little Push

I hate people.

I hate animals.

I hate plants.

I hate the world.

I hate manic depressive wannabe vampires.

I hate hyperactive ninjas.

I hate gun-arm men.

I hate smoke stacks and their soon to be wives.

I hate overly intelligent animals.

I hate eccentric geniuses who bring cake.

I hate everyone.

I hate everything.

…well…that isn't entirely true.

I don't hate Tifa, but she's too embarrassed to be in the same room with me right now. Not that I'm doing much better…but hey, how do you react to something like that? Like I said earlier. They just found out Tifa and I were dating, and now they're already planning our wedding. Are our friends that desperate to see us get married?

I hate them all.

I hear the door creak open behind me, breaking me from my hateful thoughts. Wishful thinking has it as Tifa, but I know better than that.

"Okay, dammit Shera! I'll take care of it!"

God…not him again.

His boots are heavy thuds, and he pauses to put out a cigarette, grinding it into ashes. A heavy sigh, and I hear a rustling, then a soft 'chink'. Smoke invades my nostrils, and I know now he'll begin speaking.

"Now, listen…back there-

"Go."

"I got a little carried away-

"Away."

"And…well…I mean, it came out too fast-

"Cid."

"Dammit Cloud! You listen for one 'effin minute! It's bad enough damn Shera got me out here…so if I'm gonna apologize, you better damn well listen to me!"

"Go away."

"Dammit." He swears softly.

He steps up beside of me, and I keep my eyes fixed to a distant sign. I can't read it, but I'm going to act like it's mildly entertaining.

"Now Cloud…" He starts.

"Shut up Cid."

"Shit no! Cloud!"

I sigh, my arms folded across my chest.

He isn't going to let it go.

"You don't have to put up with us for much longer. Does that make you feel better?" He asks.

"No."

"Liar."

So what if I am. You still aren't going to be gone fast enough.

He sighs, "…How..."

A pause.

"Dammit Shera." He mutters.

A deep breath, and he starts again.

"What……DAMMIT!"

"This is a lot harder than you thought it would be, isn't it?"

"Oh shut your effin pie hole Cloud."

"That isn't the way to apolog-

"I said shut it! I'm sitting here trying to be the big person, and you just keep making it effin harder!"

I set my mouth in a grim line.

Just stare at the sign.

"I'm…I'm going to make this up to you, Cloud."

Did I just snort?

"I'm serious! I have a proposition for you."

"Proposal would be better suiting!"

"YUFFIE!" Cid barks.

She steps up to my other side.

"You need to pay more attention to your surroundings; I could've killed you six times by now, old man."

Cid growls.

Pauses.

Searches.

Narrows eyes.

"Give me my cigs back, Yuffie." His voice is dangerously low.

"No. They'll kill you one day."

"Not before I kill you, brat."

She sticks her tongue out, Cid makes a grab for it, and suddenly there rolling on the ground.

"Gimme my damn cigarettes!"

"No!"

"Yuffie!"

"Get off fatso!"

"GAH! Cig-oof!"

"Take that, fool!"

"My…gasp…stomach."

"You better be glad I like Shera, or else it would've been something else. Though why the hell she'd want to reproduce with you, I have no idea." Yuffie states, standing.

Cid growls again, pushing himself up.

"Why…you little…"

"Hey, where'd Cloud go?" Yuffie asks, turning around.

"Huh? Cloud! Come back!"

They didn't notice me walking away.

Nor did I notice Yuffie flinging her self at my back until it was too late.

She plows into my back, and I manage to let out a strangled cry. Down I go, Yuffie sitting firmly on my back.

"Get off, Yuffie."

"No. Cid, join me."

"What?" I ask.

There is no response; however, suddenly a lot more weight is positioned on my back.

I gasp for breath. Cid isn't very light.

"Give me my cigarettes."

"Fine, you big baby."

I hit my fist on the ground. Really, it's getting hard to breathe.

"..Cid…" Gasp…I can't breathe! Get your fat ass off me!

"Now Cloud, you're going to have to sit here and listen to us."

Like I have a choice.

"We have a …proposal for you." Cid begins.

"It was my idea." Yuffie beams.

Cid grumbles, "In order to make up for my little slip up earlier…well, how does this deal sound?"

How do you make up with someone with a deal? Aren't you supposed to do something for that person regardless? It's not a trade. That's the point of making it up! You humiliated me! So now, you should do something for me! Not humiliate me, and then make a deal with me…that isn't how it works!

However, I don't think I'm in much of a position to make this point right now.

"If I buy Tifa's dress for the wedding, and let me tell you! It's a pretty penny…well…actually…I'll buy Tifa's dress for my wedding if you do this…"

What? "Why…gasp…dress?"

"Because, dumbass, she's a bride's maid." Yuffie states.

"O…kay…If?" I gasp.

"If you propose to her before my wedding." Cid states.

What.

The.

F-

"Great idea, huh?" Yuffie asks.

Cid's standing up; thank goodness…but…what?

I'm not going to get up, not yet. I don't think I'd be able to stand up. My legs would give out.

"Propose…to Tifa?" I ask, my lungs still recovering from lack of air.

"Yep…that's pretty much it." Cid states. "I mean, you don't have to do it…it's just quite a few thousand gil out of your pocket. Shera's got expensive taste."

Oh hell no.

"Are you trying to con me into asking Tifa to be my wife?" I spit vehemently.

"…erm…that's one way to put it." Cid states.

"What the hell?!" I yell.

Yuffie flinches on my back.

"Can I not do it on my own time? What the hell?!"

"This is quite the outburst, Spike!" Cid exclaims. "I can't remember the last time you said that much at that level of noise!"

"Cid." I growl.

"Oh don't be a sour sport Cloud. We know you'd do it eventually." Yuffie states.

"I would?"

"Yes, you would…or I would whisk your eyeballs out."

…Wait…what?

"What kind of threat was that?"

"An original, that's what." She replies. "Anyways…what I'm trying to say is that we're just giving you a push."

"Yeah, and it's not like you have to do it today." Cid adds.

"You've still got like…months…oober globs of time."

…oober globs? Should I even ask?

"I haven't even told her that I love her yet."

…oops.

Cid's cigarette lands on the ground before my face. Yuffie is silent.

Then…attack.

"Ohmahgawd! You do love her! That's so precious!" She squeals.

Arms…around neck…choking…dying…help…

"Yuf…fie…can't…bre-

She gives another violent squeeze.

I'm going to die!

I can see the newspaper now:

Hero choked to death by over excited ninja performing the ancient ways of the ninja: the death squeeze. Friends say they thought it was a hug. Turns out, the conniving little ninja was actually an assassin…so conniving, she didn't even realize she was an assassin.

"This is sooo adorable! Ehmahgawd! I can help you pick out a ring and everything!"

"Yuffie, you're killing him."

"OH! Heh…heh."

I can breathe! I take in a deep breath of air.

I spring up. Yuffie falls off my back and onto the ground. I glare at her, and she looks up.

"What?" She asks innocently.

I say nothing. I turn my gaze to Cid.

"…"

Still nothing. With that, I storm off.

It's not that I don't love Tifa, and it's not that I haven't thought about it.

I just hate it when that stupid ninja gets me to talk!

"Cloud! Cloud wait! Is this an agreement?" Cid shouts.

I'm not answering that.

"Okay! We'll…just give you some time…to think about it! Sounds good!" Yuffie shouts.

It's when I'm nearing the bar that I hear the first call.

"Ooh! It's the streak!"

"Hey baby!" Another voice. "Blue's my favorite color too! Why don't you climb into my window sometime with just your boxers?"

Loud women cackles.

"Oh! It is! Personally, I preferred the other view."

"Which view?"

"The one without his shirt!"

More laughter.

Just make it to the bar, and you'll be safe.

"Man, I hope that woman knows what she's getting into."

"Yeah, if my husband went dangling from a window in his boxers, there'd be hell to pay."

"Though I wouldn't mind seeing it some more."

More laughter.

I hate people.

I hate women.

I hate this town.

"The blue streak!"

I hate blue boxers.

A/N: hey everyone! It's been a rough week; my grandfather's health is rapidly declining, and I've been working nonstop! BUT I PASSED CALCULUS! don't expect any updates for MDL/LIB ...heh...abbriviations...It's chapter 30! Can you believe we've gotten this far? For this chapter, I felt need to bring in a big subject...so Cid and Yuffie had to get together to plan...Yes, they are that pushy...yes they are that crazy...and yes Cloud does love Tifa. Celebrate! Everytime I read a review, I smile. It makes my day that you guys love this story as much as I do. Sparx! If you draw something, I would love to see it! In fact, if anyone draws anything, I'd love to see it. okay...to answer a question. The thing...in chapter...15? When Tifa 'hurt' herself...that was when Let it be was still included in this story line...so now...you can just consider it a fluke...or a sneak peek into the future of Let it be.OH! Seph! You are a halo fanatic as well? I haven't played live in a while, been busy with Gears of War...to anyone who has a 360...IT IS A MUST HAVE...BLOODY FREAKING AWESOME...buy it. It's just too short! Awesome, though. Well, there's my advertisement! stormsight...don't destroy your laptop...hehehe...prozacfairy! Andalite! welcome! And ellumina, I'm flattered, really. I want to thank everybody for the support...and don't worry, I realize these past ...like...seven chapters have been about this one time...but it's been good material! PREPARE FOR CHANGES! Later loves...ENJOY WHATEVER HOLIDAY YOU CELEBRATE! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Love horky