Disclaimer: So...for some unknown, strange reason nicluvly and I don't own Ouran or Harry Potter...
The next morning Haruhi took a seat at the Ravenclaw table as Professor Flitwick passed out schedules.
On her schedule were familiar terms she'd read in her books before term started, Transfiguration in the morning today, Double Herbology in the afternoon with Slytherin, along with Double Potions tomorrow with Hufflepuff again, and an assortment of other classes throughout the week.
Transfiguration proved fascinating, yet difficult. Turning a match into a needle was almost impossible.
But by the end of class she managed it, unlike some people in her class.
Haruhi headed outside next. At the Greenhouses she ended up standing next to the pale Slytherin boy, Scorpious, from the boat. He gave her a cool, yet hesitant smile as they waited for Professor Longbottom to arrive.
Herbology was 'interesting' if not a little too 'hands on' for her tastes.
She and Scorpious were partnered together for the entirety of the class. He was a rather nice boy, if a little distant and arrogant.
The other students were nice, but as usual, she kept to herself mostly.
The rest of the week flew by as Haruhi was introduced to all sorts of strange subjects and even stranger teachers. The only friend she really made was Scorpious and even then it was an odd friendship, resulting in mainly sitting and studying together, rarely talking.
It was their first day off, Haruhi had made plans to meet up with Scorpious in the library, the only problem was, she'd gotten hopeless lost somewhere on the third floor, there were no older students or teachers around to ask for directions either.
Growing even more confused and desperate she pulled open a random door and walked inside. Sitting in the center of the room, playing with a deck of exploding snap cards, were the four beautiful boys from King's Cross station.
"Oh we have a guest!" The princely blonde stood to greet her, his hand extended in a kingly gesture.
"It's a boy though," the little blonde said sadly. "Apparently no one here knows what a Host Club does."
"Now, now," tutted the princely-blond, "who are we to judge!" He turned back to Haruhi, "And what's your type?" He stroked her head in a provocative way.
Haruhi freaked out. She whipped her wand out and aimed it at his nose. "Don't you come a step closer you creeper. I'm just trying to find the library!" She glanced at the two silent, black-haired boys. They seemed a little more level-headed. Maybe they could help her.
The princely blond stuttered and fell back scuttling like a crab, the dark haired boy in the glasses stepped forward, pushing up the aforementioned glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Pardon my idiot friend," he said coolly, "you've stumbled onto our Host Club and we assumed you were a patron."
Haruhi nodded, trying to calm herself. She really didn't need to turn someone into a frog by accident again. "That's fine, but can you help me find the library? This school is super confusing."
"Of course," he smirked in what would be a disarming way, if it had been anyone OTHER than Haruhi, "down the flight of stairs to the left and past five doors on the second floor." He said coolly.
Now Haruhi was even more confused. Lifting her hand to her mouth in confusion she said, "There's a staircase out there? I didn't see one."
The boy in the glasses smirked knowingly, and the princely blond jumped to his feet, seemingly over her previous threat, and approached her, "I'll be happy to help you find the stairs, it's my duty as an upper classman to help out..." Haruhi started to tune him out and walk away, "I'll figure it out."
The other black-haired boy was across the room in an instant. "I'll show you. I'm Mori." He then picked her up before she could saw a word and carried out of the room, behind a tapestry, down a flight of stairs, and to the door of the library. This incited lots of squeals from girls in the library and a scowl from Madam Pince, the librarian.
Haruhi had to fight the slightly pleased smile that was tugging at her lips as she sat down next to Scorpious.
Scorpious raised one of his eyebrows as he asked, "What were you doing in the arms of that Gryffindor third year?"
Haruhi shrugged, "I found these guys hanging out in a room on the third floor – I was lost-" she responded to his confused expression. "They gave me directions but that third year decided to carry me." She shrugged, once again indifferent.
"Oh, was Kyoya Ohtori in there?" At her confused look he elaborated, "He's kind of tall, black hair, glasses," Haruhi nodded. "Cool, he's in Slytherin with me. He's one of the smartest students here. I like him."
Haruhi nodded, and then a thought struck her, "What's a 'Host Club'?"
Scorpious looked confused, "I have no idea. I think they're popular in Japan though. I know who might know though." Scorpious got up and wandered over to the table Rose Weasley was studying at with Albus Potter. "Hey, Weasley, you're a bookworm. What's a Host Club?"
"A what?" Rose asked her brows flying towards her hair line, Albus beside her had turned slightly pink."Do you know, Potter?" Scorpious asked Albus.
Haruhi felt sorry for Albus, he was now so red that his skin matched his cousin's hair. "Hey, it's alright Scorpious. I don't need to know, especially if it's embarrassing."
"No, it-its not." He said screwing his face up to appear brave, "Its just-" he paused taking a deep breath, "I was approached by a second year this morning asking me to JOIN a Host Club he'd started in this school... He said I had pretty eyes." He mumbled.
Haruhi didn't know where they came from, but the twins from the train appeared out of nowhere. "What's this about you joining a Host Club Potter? We were told WE were the only first years being invited to join!"
"Well, I said 'no' didn't I?" Albus turned an even brighter red, if that was possible.
The Hitachiin Twins rolled their eyes, "You idiot, don't you realize who's IN the Host Club?" They asked, Haruhi rolled her own eyes, didn't they know who they were talking to?
"Who?" Scorpious said sarcastically.
"Why, only the sons of the four most important muggle families in Japan. Though Tamaki Suoh is a half-blood – his mother is a witch that went to Beauxbatons. I'm surprised you've never heard of them." The more brash of the twins said quite proudly.
Pfft," Scorpious scoffed. "What's the big deal about that?"Rose remarked off-handedly, "Albus is Harry Potter's son."
The Hitachiin Twins blinked owlishly, "Harry who?"
"You've gotta be kidding me," Rose said in a bossy tone, "you don't know who Harry Potter is? He has to be one of THE most famous wizard, he defeated Lord Voldemort!"
Haruhi felt even more shock run over her as the twins looked even more confused. Sure, they were muggle-borns, but hadn't they read ANY of their books before coming here? Her father had only married a witch, but even he knew who Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort were.
"As to be expected from muggle-borns." Scorpious sighed in defeat shoving his hands in his pockets walking away as if he was bored with the entire conversation.
Before Haruhi followed him she mentioned, "You two may want to check out "The Battle of Hogwarts" by Hermione Weasley. It might just help you some." Then she turned and followed Scorpious back to their table. At least the twins ignorance of wizard history had meant that they knew nothing about Scorpious' family's part in it.
The following weeks passed by in a blur, Haruhi was starting to feel like she'd gotten a handle of this whole magic school thing, she'd almost forgotten about those weird boys too, until...
She found herself walking down the third floor corridor, discussing the Quidditch match tomorrow between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff with Scorpious when one of the doors opened and the two of them were grabbed and pulled in.
"You boys! We need your help!" It was the princely blonde again. Before either could protest they were being thrown into a changing room and costumes were thrown over the curtain. "Put those on."
Haruhi shared a look with Scorpious and then the two of them pulled out their wands and pushed open the curtains. Aiming them directly at the princely blonde they asked, "Why should we?"
The blond stuttered and fat tears welled up in his eyes, "we're dressing up and we're short a couple members, they had Quidditch practice, you see." And on and on be blathered. Haruhi and Scorpious exchanged a look lowering their wands.
"Aren't you on the Hufflepuff team?" Scorpious asked, some disdain creeping into his voice, "Why aren't you at practice?"
"I am!" He said brightly, "but I could not dent my princesses my glowing presence! It's a travesty to lock away these good looks." The blonde cast about leaning against a suddenly appearing column.
Haruhi leaned over to whisper in Scorpious' ear, "I think he means that Hufflepuff isn't holding a last minute practice, only Gryffindor is."
"Or he's an idiot..." Scorpious said scathingly.
Before Haruhi could reply the Hitachiin Twins showed up. "Oh shut up Malfoy, you just don't want to do this because you're afraid that no one will want to choose a Malfoy to host them."
Scorpious bit back a remark and snatched up the costume returning to the changing room apparently intent on proving just the opposite.
Haruhi sighed and turned to join him, but was stopped by the princely blonde. "Hmm, we're going to have to do something about those glasses…and that hair." Before Haruhi could stop him he reached up and lifted her glasses off.
Inspiration, or something close to it flashed behind his violet eyes, "Hikaru, Kaoru," he snapped, "I think a makeover is in order!"
Before Haruhi could say a thing potions and spells more moving all around her. When the chaos cleared she somehow had contacts in her eyes and a really cute pixie cut.
She reached a tentative hand to her hair catching a couple of the silky strands, "Was all of this necessary?" She said flatly.
"Of course it was!" Suoh exclaimed, Haruhi had heard one of the twins call him that during the magical makeover.
Just then, Scorpious emerged wearing black velvet and lace styled in a style that reminded Haruhi of late age of Marie Antoinette.
As soon as he was clear of the curtain Haruhi was thrust into the room with a huge green dress and a tall white wig with birds in it.
Haruhi glared at the wig and dress, they had to be kidding... Haruhi shrugged. It was too late to back out now. 'What a bother' she thought.
Her emergence from the changing room gained different reactions from everyone in the room. Suoh and the twins lost control of their jaws and fell to the floor in shock. Ohtori, who was leaning against the doorframe just smiled smugly. Scorpious on the other hand let out an appreciative whistle before approaching her, with his arm held out, waiting to escort her into the other room.
Entering the next room, Haruhi noticed it was full of several girls in different states of swooning. Suoh directed them to empty seats where Hunny and Mori normally sat after he recovered from his discovery of Haruhi's girlhood.
Scorpious took a seat next to her and together they entertained girls of all ages and houses. Two hours later, when they finally stopped, Haruhi was exhausted.
So," said Ohtori casually, "you and Scorpious seemed natural at this."
Haruhi wasn't sure where he was going with this, but Scorpious seemed to understand. "We join your club we get compensated somehow. How much are we worth to you?"
Kyoya smirked, "spoken like a true Slytherin, Scorpious. Compensation is based on your customer load. The more customers, the higher your pay."
Scorpious smirked right back at Kyoya, "Sounds reasonable to me. This work for you Haruhi?" Somehow, Haruhi found herself nodding. "Alright Ohtori, we have a deal, but Haruhi and I are a pair, like the twins or Mori and Hunny. Got it?"
"Of course," Kyoya smirked, looking self satisfied. And somehow with that, Haruhi had joined the Hogwarts Host Club.
Author's Note: That was fun to right, it's not as crackish as we wanted, but it's still coming out rather nicely. kudos to Kayy-chan for being the one and only reviewer! We knew when we started this that find readers would be hard since it's a crossover, but still, a lot more ppl are reading this than are reviewing. We LOVE feedback! So please leave us some!
Thoughts from the Other Author: Alas, another drunken attempt at writing! Thank you for those you that have stopped by and read and make sure to review!
Enjoy! Read! Review!