A/N: I honestly didn't mean to go this long between updates. Oops. I just got busy and then was trying to read my pile of books I hadn't read yet, only to get distracted and start re-reading a series and my pile of unread books still exists. At least I got a couple done...

Anyhoo, um. A few people have mentioned this in reviews and I just wanna clarify that Big Time Bang is not a contest. It's just a personal challenge type deal where you get paired up with an artist who makes something based on your fic. I should know by this time next week when I get to post mine and I'm excited to have people finally get to read it. :D

Oh, and also, love that you guys are so into this and will tell me what you think should happen, but this thing is 99% written (aside from the final chapter which I'm halfway avoiding) so...yeah...

Shout-out to Maria for her gorgeous gifset. Love it! Thanks again, hun :D

No ass-covering needed for this. Except for the brief mentions of Tumblr...Um. Oh, and once again, Camille's username is from "Liar (It Takes One to Know One)" by Taking Back Sunday. I believe that's it.

Enjoy and review!

Zombie Mode had officially been activated.

Kendall went through the motions of school and work, completely unaware of the world around him. His emotions were practically non-existent, remaining flat the entire time, causing him to be totally unfeeling. He wasn't happy—something that wasn't much of a surprise—but he wasn't depressed or upset either. He just... was.

His walking comatose state continued when he got home, barely noticing that the kitchen was empty and that the house was quiet. At least it was until he reached the living room and his sister popped up from the couch.

"Kendall!"

He jumped at the sound of his name being called so loudly, snapping out of the daze he'd been in all day. He frowned as he watched Katie round the couch and move in front of him, confusion on his face, wondering what the hell was going on.

She stood there smiling up at him, mischievous glint in her eyes that meant she had some sorta devious plan and was currently setting it in motion. A plan that involved their TV remote, judging by the fact that she was holding it in her hands.

"So glad to see you, big brother," she greeted him cheerfully, raising his suspicion.

His eyebrow arched. She was definitely up to something. "Uh huh," he replied, allowing the skepticism he was feeling to be audible in his words. "Whaddya want?"

Her jaw dropped in a false sense of shock and hurt, eyes wide in faux innocence, hand flitting up to her chest. "Can't I just be happy to see my older brother and be glad he's home?"

The eyebrow remained raised, arms folding over his chest as he gave her a pointed look.

Katie huffed as she dropped the act—and her arms. Rolling her eyes, she cocked out a hip as she wiped away the insincere look she'd had on her face. "Okay, fine," she relented, not sounding too stoked that her true intentions had been found out. "I DVR'd something and I want you to watch it."

Okay, so not the nefarious scheme he thought she'd been plotting. In fact, it seemed kinda... well, kinda lame.

Kendall's brow furrowed, lips twisting to the side as he looked at her in disbelief. He'd been expecting a request for cash or help in convincing their mom to allow Katie to do something she ordinarily wouldn't get permission for. Or maybe, Katie had already broken some sorta rule or object and needed her big brother to take the fall, cover it up for her. Wouldn't be the first time he'd done something like that for her.

But it hadn't been anything like that. She just wanted him to watch something she'd recorded off the TV, something that seemed innocent enough—depending on what it was exactly that she wanted to show him, of course. Until he remembered one of the conditions of his punishment was no TV and he was pretty sure that included the shit that was DVR'd, too.

"Can't," he pointed out, moving his hands to the straps of his backpack as they sat wrapped around his shoulders. "Grounded, remember?"

It was Katie's turn to look skeptical, her own eyebrow arching, arms crossed over her chest. "Since when do you actually go along with Mom's grounding guidelines?" she questioned before turning her head and peering at him out the corner of her eye. "Are you an alien sent to replace my brother?"

"Why does everyone keep asking that?!"

"Well, ya gotta admit, it seems like a logical explanation," she stated, sounding so completely serious, Kendall couldn't hold back the eye roll even if he wanted to. "Why else would you actually be doing what you're told?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering why it was so hard for everyone to believe him when he said he was changing for the better. Would make his life a shitload easier.

Then again, maybe this was the Universe's way of paying him back for the shit he'd put everyone else through.

'Point taken,' he mentally called out to no one. 'You can stop now. Please.'

"Look," Katie began, regaining his attention. "Mom already called and said she won't be home for another hour. The only people who'll know about this are you and me and it's not like either one of us will say anything to her. How's she gonna find out?"

"Katie," he sighed her name, dropping his hand and putting both on his hips. He had no clue why she was so adamant about this, why she was insisting he do what she requested right then at that moment. What the fuck could be so important that he had to go against their mother's wishes and watch it immediately? Couldn't that shit wait? As long as no one erased it, the show would remain in the DVR's memory pretty much forever. Or at least until it broke and/or was replaced, whichever came first.

She held her hands out in front of herself in a wordless request for him to stop. "Just. Watch."

He opened his mouth to argue, but never got the chance to say anything. His sister pointed the remote at the TV on her left and hit a button, the sound of applause filling the room.

Kendall turned his head toward the flatscreen, eyes focused to the images displayed on it. It appeared to be some sorta morning talk show, one recorded that morning given the date and time displayed in the bottom right corner. A clearly Botox-ed middle aged blonde woman was smiling falsely next to an overly-tanned man who looked like he was internally debating whether he'd rather kill himself or his co-host. But Kendall didn't pay attention to either of them. His eyes were locked onto the musical guest they were chatting with: a young male singer dressed in tight dark jeans, white graphic tee, black leather jacket, and gray beanie.

James Diamond.

Kendall felt his heart rate double, the organ pounding twice as hard. His stomach filled with butterflies as his skin tingled all over. And that was just from seeing the guy on TV—although really, hi-def screens were definitely made for faces like his.

He leaned over for a closer look, elbows resting on the back of the couch, unable to tear his gaze away from the singer, even if he wanted to. The grin James was wearing didn't quite reach his eyes, his face that mask he wore during public appearances he really didn't wanna be at, but had to because his job required it. Yet he still put on a happy face and laughed at the hosts' cheesy jokes and pretended like he was having a great time when he honestly wanted to be anywhere else in the world.

The blond felt an ache in his chest, hoping the other male was wishing that he was locked in another hotel room with the teenager. Fuck knew that's where he wanted to be himself.

The applause died off, the blonde hostess stretching her painted lips over chemically whitened teeth in a smile that was so big it looked like it hurt. Not to mention was fake as hell. "I gotta ask," she started, tone way too cheerful for a show that was taped live at eight am. If anyone was an alien, it was that chick. "Is there anyone special in your life right now, any lucky lady who gets to be the object of your affection?"

"Butt out, bitch," Kendall muttered at the screen, knowing how much James hated invasive questions like that. Clearly, she was ignoring the memo all interviewers received specifically stating no personal questions.

He glared at the Kelly Ripa wannabe before flicking his eyes back to James. He searched for the usual signs of discomfort the singer would show when asked something personal: the mask becoming more obvious, his eyes darkening and becoming unreadable, his smile tightening, his muscles tensing.

Only none of that happened.

James' grin grew, became more genuine, his eyes sparkling as his entire face lit up. He was glowing from the inside out and the teen found himself smiling right back at the sight of it. He never thought anything would make the singer any more attractive, figured it was pretty much impossible, but for once, he was glad to be wrong. It was a look he was hoping to see the brunet wear more often, all the time if he could.

The pop star let out a small laugh, hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck as his eyes cast downward. Kendall fully expected him to deny everything and say there was no one like that in his life, but, once again, he was taken by surprise.

"Actually, there is someone special," he admitted, dropping his hand and hooking his thumbs in his jeans pockets as he looked at the hosts. "But that's all I'm gonna say. Respecting privacy and all that."

Surprise was the first emotion Kendall felt, noting in the back of his mind that the singer had cleverly avoided using any sorta gender specific pronouns. Then what he said fully sank in, the fact that James had admitted there was someone he was romantically involved with, causing a smile so big to form on the blond's face that it actually hurt. The butterflies in his stomach grew in numbers, his rapidly beating heart pounding so loud in his ears he couldn't hear the rest of the interview. Not that he cared really. He heard the most important part of it, the part where the pop star had referred to him as "someone special".

His desire to be with the other male at that moment intensified, becoming an aching hole inside his too-tight chest. He began imagining himself in the green room, ignoring Logan's G-rated rant about what a big mistake James had just made and how it was only gonna add to rumors about his sexuality. He imagined a beaming James entering the room and how Kendall would immediately grab hold of him, kissing him hard as he held the brunet close. He imagined the two of them finally exchanging "I love you"s as the rest of the world melted away.

Assuming, of course, that James actually even loved Kendall.

Well, he was wearing the blond's beanie, not to mention had told the entire world there was someone special in his life.

Then again, Kendall was assuming that he was the someone special. They hadn't spoken in three days. James could've met someone or had gotten back with an ex. And he could be wearing the beanie because his head was cold.

Ah, yes, his old friend the Downward Spiral. Just when he thought they'd parted ways for good.

Kendall pushed himself up from the back of the couch before rounding it and grabbing the remote from where Katie had tossed it. Katie who had apparently left at some point in time. Whatever.

He stopped the show and turned the TV off, plopping down on the couch. Sighing harshly, he flopped over his knees, hand rubbing the back of his neck. In one move, James had made it a million times harder to forget him and everything that'd happened between the two of them, had reminded Kendall of how much he cared and how he was truly in love with the singer. How the hell was he supposed to move on, supposed to make the brunet do the same when the elder male was still holding on?

He thought of the pre-paid cell in his pocket and the phone number that was missing from his contact list. He'd give damn near anything to have James' digits and be able to call him, not because he wanted to say how incredibly happy he was after that morning show interview and what the brunet had said.

But to break up with him.

Kendall knew it'd happen sooner or later. He was just hoping it'd be later.

Lucy figured out where he'd been spending his lunch hour that week.

It wasn't that he didn't like Lucy or was purposely avoiding her or anything. He just wasn't in the mood to be social or deal with annoying shit like questions and conversations. Other than Carlos, of course, but that was different. But with the way things were going for him lately, what he wanted to happen wasn't gonna.

"Well, well, well."

His eyes popped open at the sound of the familiar female voice, coming across the owner as she stood towering over him. He squinted against the overhead sun as he remained laying on his back, arching a questioning eyebrow at her. He had no idea why she was there, what she wanted, why she was glaring down at him in a mix of annoyance and disbelief. He kinda didn't care either.

"I was wondering where you'd been at lunch this week," she informed him in a snarky tone, hands on her hips, pressing her lips into a thin line.

He stretched his arms out on either side of him, left hand accidentally grazing Carlos' leg as he sat there silently eating. "And now you've found me," the blond pointed out, folding his hands behind his head and reclosing his eyes.

A boot covered foot nudged his side, digging into his ribs. Kendall ignored the uncomfortable sensation, pretended it wasn't annoying or painful, acted like he didn't feel anything and that she was there.

Only for her to dig her toes in more and really hurt him.

He'd clearly forgotten how stubborn and insistent Lucy could be when she wanted something.

"Hey!" she yelled as she kicked him, causing him to call out a swear.

"What the fuck?!" he demanded to know as he shoot up into a sitting position, rubbing where he'd just been kicked. He was gonna be bruised there, for fucking sure.

Lucy flipped her straight black hair behind her shoulder, gripping the strap of her messenger bag as she looked at him in total nonchalance. Apparently causing bodily harm to others wasn't something that was a big deal to her and didn't warrant any sorta apology.

The again, she'd have to be sorry in order to apologize, something she rarely—if ever—was.

No wonder he hung out with her.

"Bunch of us are heading over to Guitar Dude's to smoke up after lunch," she stated plainly, clearly not caring that Kendall was glaring up at her. "You're in, right?"

He lifted his shirt and twisted himself in order to get a good look at his side, already noticing the discoloration of his skin. Damn steel-toed boots. "Nah," he answered, wincing as he poked the injury. "Got a test next period."

She let out a small laugh, leather jacket creaking slightly as she folded her arms over her chest. "All the more reason to skip."

Dropping his tee, he let the cotton settle around his torso as he drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. "Not skipping."

"Then come by after school."

"Got work."

"After work then."

"Grounded."

Another disbelieving laugh came from Lucy. "So? Since when has that stopped you?"

Kendall glanced at Carlos, seeing the Latino rolling his eyes, more than likely thinking the same thing he was: that Lucy was relentless as fuck and really needed to let shit go.

He honestly didn't get why she was pushing this so much, why she was insisting he go. It was the same shit he'd dealt with the day before with Katie, only he knew why his baby sister had been so adamant in getting him to do what she wanted. With Lucy, it made no sense. It wasn't like she couldn't get high without him there. After all, Guitar Dude was the one who always supplied them. Kendall just used the shit.

Past tense, of course.

Withholding a sigh, he flipped his eyes up to Lucy, giving her a hard look. "Since a couple days ago when I decided to stop being a douchebag and actually do what my mom says and not go where she says not to."

She snorted, rolling her dark eyes as she worked her jaw. "Lame."

He turned his head and stared out in front of him. "Whatever," he muttered, not giving a shit how she felt about it. It was his life and he was starting to realize he should live it the way he wanted.

Within reason and his mom's rules, of course.

Lucy scowled, hip cocking out to the side as she huffed, pissed she hadn't gotten any sorta rise outta him, or any response at all really. Knowing her, she was probably hoping for a big debate or argument she could use to eventually wear him down and force him to do what she originally wanted him to. Well, tough shit for her. He wasn't in the mood to play along with her mind games or give into what she wanted. Hell, the only thing he was really in the mood for was a long fucking nap.

Her black-lined eyes roamed from him to Carlos, facial features shifting into a more devious expression, smirk forming on her face. "Speaking of lame," she began, keeping her gaze locked on the Latino. "You see that James Diamond interview yesterday?"

Shit.

Kendall's eyes shut tight as he swallowed hard, bracing himself for whatever insults she was about to hurl at the expense of the pop star. His heart began pounding at the mention of his name, but he knew that was the only good moment that was gonna happen. Not that hearing about the brunet at all was good, especially when he was still on his futile mission to forget about the guy.

Carlos didn't say anything, just silently wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. His face was flat, eyes refusing to look at her or give in to her goading. The blond was pretty proud of him, not to mention glad since it hopefully meant that Lucy would get bored and not say what she was planning to, allowing Kendall a reprieve from hearing about the singer at all, much less a bunch of insults.

Then again, he'd been wrong a lot in the past.

"Yeah, apparently he's 'seeing someone special'," she mocked, putting air quotes around the words before refolding her arms and snorting. "Probably some retarded fourteen year old, that's why he's not saying anything. Who else would go out with a dumbass, talentless loser like Diamond?"

Right, that was it.

Kendall snatched up his backpack before shooting up to his feet. He could handle the "retarded fourteen year old" part, since she had no idea she was actually referring to him—and most likely never would know—but the insults towards James were too much.

Only he couldn't say anything.

Arguing with her over who the singer was with or whether or not he was a "dumbass, talentless loser" would only raise suspicions, especially when he'd been agreeing with the digs and even adding a few of his own mere weeks ago. He didn't wanna deal with a thousand questions and accusations and slights over why he was defending a pop star he wasn't even a fan of. So rather than opening that can of worms, he decided to take the higher road and just leave.

Mind made up, he stepped forward, ready to go down the hill and get away from Lucy. Only to have her move over and block his path.

Fucking awesome.

"Uh, where are you going?" she inquired, eyebrow quirked. Her hip was cocked once again, arms folded over her chest, and when combined with the fierce look in her eyes and the determined set of her features, it made for one intimidating girl, despite her small stature. Kendall had already learned the hard way that her boots could do some damage.

His hand subconsciously went to his side, covering his newly formed bruise. Figured he'd be hurt when his ass was healing up and feeling better.

"Somewhere else," he answered her curtly. "And just for future reference, I don't wanna get high. Ever. I'm done."

Lucy snorted in disbelief, rolling her eyes as she shook her head. "Whatever," she muttered before leveling her hard eyes on him. "You were way fucking cooler before summer break. I dunno what happened during that time, but it turned you into a fuckin' loser."

It was Kendall's turn to roll his eyes as he adjusted his hold on his backpack. "Ya know, I really don't care what you think of me," he began with a small smirk. "I happen to like the new me, and if you don't, then it's been nice knowin' ya and I hope you have a great life somewhere far away from me." He wrapped up his statements with a mock salute then stepped around her on his way. With long strides, he headed down the hill towards the school, hearing the tell-tale sounds of Carlos following.

It wasn't until his boots hit the tar of the parking lot that he realized he had no clue where the fuck he was going.

Fucking genius.

A heavy sigh left him as he walked, figuring he could kill time in the library, maybe get a head start on his homework. Fuckin' eh, he'd become a major fucking dork. Whatever. Beat the alternative of being a douchebag.

At least he hoped it did.

Opening the main door, he headed inside the school, Carlos still by his side.

"You okay?" the Latino questioned lowly, unsure of what sorta response he'd get.

Kendall sighed again. "Yeah," he muttered, working the back of his neck. "Maybe. I dunno." He dropped his hand, letting it slap against his thigh. His emotions were so all over the place that he wasn't entirely sure which one he was feeling at that moment. He was annoyed with Lucy, pissed he couldn't defend James properly, happy over the interview, depressed because he missed the singer.

Turning his head, he peered down at his shorter friend, brow drawn in question. "You see that interview she was referring to?"

"The one from that morning show where he was wearing your hat?" Carlos asked back, sounding so innocent the blond couldn't work up the desire to be annoyed at the mention of the pop star's head wear and its origins.

"Yeah," he responded tightly, wincing. "That one."

"Yeah, I saw it on Tumblr last night."

The blond grimaced. He should've known. And considering how the JD fandom tended to take the smallest thing and completely blow it outta proportion, fuck only knew how they'd react to his admission over having "someone special" in his life. Especially when there were already rumors swirling about something romantic going on between James and "That Kendall Guy From Minnesota".

"Was he talking about you, by the way?" Carlos questioned, sounding confused and unsure as he looked up at the taller male.

"I guess," he mumbled in response. "Wish he wasn't."

"Why?" His cluelessness was gonna be the death of Kendall. Seriously.

"'Cause of what I told you yesterday," he began, the two of them stopping outside the library. "I want him to move on and have a life that doesn't involve me."

The Latino snorted, looking completely dubious. "No offense, dude, but as much as you claim to be moving on, it's kinda hard to believe any of it when you're wearing his bandana all the time." He stared pointedly down at the mentioned item before giving the same look to the taller male's face. "Just sayin'." He shrugged before heading into the library, leaving his best friend standing there alone.

Once again, Carlos had managed to point out something that Kendall hadn't thought of. Two days in a row, had to be a new record.

But still, he had a point. And it wasn't like Kendall hadn't briefly thought about that, hadn't realized that wearing the bandana was a dumb reminder of someone he was trying to forget. He just didn't wanna take it off.

Okay, he clearly needed a new plan. No studying in the library. Instead, he was gonna go to the computer lab, get James' number from his email, and send a break-up text. Definitely a pussy move, but he needed to get this shit over and done with ASAP and since he couldn't call in the middle of the school day—

All right, he technically could, but he had a feeling that if he heard the singer's voice that he'd back out and not follow through with his plan. So really, pussing out and doing a break-up text was the best way to do this.

His chest hurt at the thought of ending things with James, but he ignored it, knowing it was for the best. At least it was what was best for the pop star.

New plan in mind, Kendall strode into the library, turning and heading straight into the partitioned off computer lab. The desktop in the far back corner was free so he made a beeline for it, liking the fact that the screen faced the wall and gave him privacy, easing his paranoia over what anyone would think if they knew what email he was looking at. Bookbag on the seat next to him, he quickly brought up an internet window and logged onto his account.

Several days worth of emails greeted him, including a few from James and a couple from Tumblr with the subject "addictfordramatics asked you a question". Camille.

Shit. Totally distracted from his original plan, he cleaned out his messages, emptied his spam. After a moment of debating, he decided to ignore those from the singer and read the ones from his female best friend instead. Probably better that way. He clicked on the earliest Tumblr email, figuring it made more sense to read the messages in chronological order.

'Dude! I've sent you a million texts & tweets & DMs and I've gotten NO reply. Where the hell are you?! Stop sucking James' dick already and get back to me!'

'Ok, I talked to Carlos and he says you're grounded?! Is it cause of your trip to Cali? What happened?! Whenever you're ungrounded, get back to me. We need to talk.'

'You can't even leave the house but you still managed to cause several fandom freakouts. Talent. True talent. Also FUCKING CALL ME!'

Well, shit.

Kendall smeared a hand over his face, muffling his sigh. He knew the fandom would be in a frenzy after that interview the day before, was inevitable really. But several freak-outs? He had no fucking clue what that was about, what had caused the other uproars. He was pretty sure he hadn't done anything else to earn a big blow-up like that.

Unless James had done or said something...

Nah. Carlos the Blabbermouth wouldn't be able to keep quiet on anything like that, even if he had been pissed at Kendall. Hell, the fact that the Latino hadn't said anything to anyone about his best friend's relationship with the pop star was kind of a miracle and a true testament to the loyalty Carlos possessed and the trust he'd earned.

Really though, the only thing Kendall could figure out was that he somehow managed to do something that caused a stir in the JD fandom without him even noticing.

He wanted to say it was curiosity that had him emailing Camille, and while that was part of it, it wasn't the entire reason. Despite not really caring if he pissed Lucy off with his lack of fucks given and not doing what she wanted, he didn't wanna upset Camille by doing the same thing to her, even though she lived in Cali and the chances of her bruising him with steel-toed boots were practically non-existent.

Pulling up a new message, he started typing a new email to her.

'Hey,
Yeah, grounded 'cause of Cali. I'd say I'd regret it and wish I hadn't done it, but I'm doing this new thing where I don't act like an asshole and quit lying.
What freak-outs are you referring to? I haven't been online until now and Tumblr's blocked on school computers so I have no clue what's going on. Other than what he said on that morning show interview. Fill me in please.
Kendall.
PS sorry for not calling like I promised. Swear I'll fill you in more when I get the chance.
PPS...uh... we still didn't have The Talk. Got... distracted again... not sorry 'bout that part either.'

He gave it a quick once over before clicking send, eyes flicking to the time at the bottom corner of the screen. Hopefully she'd be able to get back to him fast since his curiosity was killing him.

He distracted himself by reading other emails, making mental notes about Avenged Sevenfold's new album release date and info regarding the SATs—which he should probably take. It wasn't long before he received a reply from Camille, clicking to open it immediately.

'Of course you don't regret it. You got to hang with me ;)
What he said during that interview was only the tip of the iceberg, my uninformed friend. Apparently at his show Monday, James wasn't as into it and seemed a li'l...down. And a couple fans said they were waiting by the buses after the show and didn't see "That Kendall Guy", then they asked James where he was and James said "his friend had to head home".
Then there was the drama over how James has been seen wearing different bandana colors, which during the show is normal since he wears ones that match his stage outfits. But he's been spotted wearing different ones when NOT onstage, too, like during meet & greets and such, leading to countless theories about mood bandanas and secret messages, everything. And people at my school think *I'M * nuts.
Then finally, there's a photoset on Tumblr featuring pics of you with those fans outside the San Diego show, at the radio station, and at the last show in St Paul, all while wearing a gray beanie, along with pics of James at that morning show and meeting fans outside of it wearing the same hat.
Hence, fandom freak outs.
Gotta hand it to ya, I'm quite impressed at the way you've managed to distract everyone from any other JD news... Talent.
But it all goes to show that whatever is going on between you two, it's clearly fucking major.
Cam.
PS it's all good, just remember that you owe me ;)
PPS AGAIN?! How is you ass still intact?! Or did you guys take turns? That would be sooooo fucking hot if you guys switched! ;D'

Kendall had a hard time getting a grip on what he was feeling while reading Camille's email, his emotions swinging back and forth so violently, he couldn't even tell where they landed. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he looked the message back over, taking it all in and mulling over each piece of info.

He felt like he should've known the fandom would make the connection with his beanie, but he'd totally forgotten about taking pics with those fans and being spotted outside that radio station. Plus it wasn't like he was all that well-known, at least when compared to James. Apparently he'd underestimated just how prolific he was in the fandom.

Not that it would've changed anything had he been aware of that fact. He still would've given James his beanie, since it was the most personal item he had with him at the time. Only made sense for him to put it in the brunet's possession after receiving his bandana.

Speaking of...

Kendall was honestly surprised people had noticed the change in bandanas. Sure, the black one the singer gave him was the one he wore the most, but it wasn't like he never sported any other colors at any time, including when not on stage. The guy owned at least one in every possible hue. Yet his admirers noticed the changed and had jumped to a million and five conclusions as to why. Clearly Kendall wasn't aware of how much attention fangirls paid to every little detail about their idols.

But the part that really caught his attention was where Camille informed him that fans had noticed how down the singer had seemed at recent shows. It was definitely a shock to say the least. James was nothing if not a constant professional, always wearing a happy smile no matter what was going on for him personally. Kendall had seen first hand the mask the brunet would wear, how he hid his emotions from the entire world, especially the more negative ones. So for him to actually show he was upset, no matter how minutely, was a huge fucking deal.

And, okay, it wasn't like Kendall hadn't been hoping that his leaving would affect the elder male somehow—other than joy and/or relief at that teenage mental case finally going home. But for James to actually be missing him to the point that he wasn't hiding it, that was another thing entirely.

Just meant it was gonna be harder for either of them to let each other go. At least not without a clean break and an obvious telling of the phrase "it's over".

Fuck.

The bell to end lunch rang out right as he clicked to reply to Camille. He typed quickly as he rose to his feet.

'I promise I'll send you a full email about everything when I get the chance. And I refuse to answer any questions about switching. You know enough about my sex life already :P'

Hitting send, he grabbed his backpack as he waited for notification it was gone. As soon as it popped up, he logged out and closed the window before racing out to get to his next class.

It wasn't until he set foot in the classroom that he hadn't gotten James' number in order to text. Hell, he could've done it over email really. Part of him thought it was the universe's way of telling him he wasn't supposed to end things with the brunet. The other part thought that the first was stupid and pointed out that it could still be done at another time.

Kendall had no clue which part was right.