Who Loves The World's Bitch?

Breathe. Just. Breathe.

We're okay. It's okay. ...breathe.

The surprise wasn't ruined. Someone in the house just knows that I have something in a box that's circular, from Midgar Jewelers, and has silver and pearls on it.

Nothing for anyone to be suspicious about at all.

Nope, nothing at all.

So...you can just take that first step. Go on. Tifa's lunch is waiting for you. Start moving. Step. Step. Step.

MOVE DAMMIT!

Man, I'm not going to get far, am I? Even with my conscious coaching me and telling me it's all okay.

Man, Strife, you're a real winner, let me tell you. It's one thing to have to ask for help from Yuffie...

But it's a completely different embarrassment when it all goes wrong, and you're the one to blame...and not Yuffie.

So what if Tifa did hear? It could be a bracelet. Or...a necklace. It could be a really spiffy dog collar!

...or it could be a ring.

So what if it is a ring? That doesn't mean it has to be the ring.

But that doesn't mean it isn't.

I sigh, and knock my head against the wall.

I fear rings. Every male fears ring. It's a rule. Rings mean commitment, and it's not that I fear commitment.

Rings can either seal the deal, or just completely screw it all over.

Honestly, contradicting myself is getting me nowhere. So, I think I'm actually going to try and move towards the door.

Ahem...I said move towards the door.

Finally my body complies, and my feet start moving normally. I reach the door, open it, close it, open it, cl-

JUST WALK THROUGH IT.

Thank you.

Anyways, close the door behind me, descend the steps and slowly turn towards the bar. Tifa's behind the bar washing some dishes, and there's four plates laid out on a table. Marlene and Denzel are poking each other where they sit, giggling and whispering.

...do they know something?

They do know something, don't they? Little conniving mini-Yuffies. They know everything. Look at how they're whispering...definitely about me. Always. Me. Yes. And how I suck at life and doing anything right.

"Hey, Teef."

Tifa jumps slightly, and puts a hand on her chest, "Cloud! Don't do that, you startled me!"

What, did my squeaking startle you? Or did she mean startle as in 'you may be hiding a circular object from Midgar Jewelers that could possibly be a ring...or a really spiffy dog collar'.

She looks up at me, blushing, with her red eyes, thank you very much.

Do they say, 'Come on big boy, ask me now!' or 'What the hell is he thinking?!'?

The world is cruel. That's the only thing I've learned from life. The world is freaking cruel, and just likes to see me suffer. That's it, and that's all. I'm the world's little mouse they send hunting through a maze for a piece of cheese...and every time I get anywhere near that damn cheese, there's a freaking plexiglass wall between me and it, and I run into it and smash my little mouse nose up against that freaking plexiglass wall...because the world hates me, and I'm its bitch.

"Oh, uh...Cloud. I need to talk to you for a minute."

Oh...

No...

"N-...o..kay."

Crap oh crap oh crap.

She yanks me into the storage room, unawares to the children. Clicking on the light above, she glances at me, then glances away, turning red.

No! She can't know, can she? I mean...that would...be against all common sense. She didn't hear me, dammit.

"Cloud...I want you to know...that..." she pauses, and takes a deep breath, "That..."

What?! What do you want me to know?! Spit it out, woman!

"Iounting," she mumbles beneath her breath.

What? Did I hear an 'ing' in that, as in ring? Or, as in a spiffing dog collar. ...I don't even think that's a word.

"W-

Get your voice under control, Cloud. Come on, no squeaking.

I clear my throat, "W-what?"

She is blood red now, okay people? She is red, and I mean red. I don't think I've ever seen her blushing so badly.

"I found something."

...she found something? Found something out? Or found an object?

Pat pockets discreetly, now!

Ring's still there. What did she find?

"You found something?"

"Yes," her voice is a hoarse whisper.

She clears her throat, "Cloud...I mean. It's not that...well, I just need time to think about it."

My heart drops. She needs time to think about it? Are we on the same page? She isn't thinking about what I'm thinking about thinking about, is she?

...Okay, I didn't even understand that.

But...she doesn't...want to marry me? Why doesn't she want to marry me? I mean, I'm a pretty good guy, I'm alright. I saved the world twice, you know. I...um...what else did I do?

Maybe it's because I'm the world's bitch. That's got to be a turnoff.

I think she sees the disappointment on my face, I mean, how do you hide that? I mean, I know I'm good at being expressionless, but I don't think I'm that good.

"Oh, Cloud...well, we haven't even talked about it," she says.

Okay, let's talk right now. Talk. Say something idiot. Not Tifa, this is your subconscious speaking. Use your mouth and annunciate some type of word.

"Wh...what are we talking about here?"

She blinks, surprise written across her face, "About...well, when I was in your room...I was just putting up laundry...I didn't mean to..."

She heard me. Oh God she heard me and she doesn't want to marry me.

"It's a spiffy dog collar," I mumble beneath my breath.

"What?" she asks.

"Nothing."

"Did you say something about a dog?"

"No."

"Oh," she drops her eyes.

Does she want a dog? I can do dogs.

Wait...I mean, I can get a dog...handle a dog, not do a dog.

Erg. Yeah, walked right into that one.

"Well, I guess I should give it back to you."

What? Give it back? Did the ring fall out of the box?

And I didn't notice?!

What kind of man am I?! No wonder she doesn't want to marry me! I'm not even a man! I'm a mouse!

"Here," she whispers, shoving something in my hand.

She goes to hurry out of the room, but it isn't a ring she puts in my hand, it's a...

Oh my God. I am going to fucking kill Barret.

"Tifa! Wait, Tifa...this isn't mine."

She whirls on me, "What? That isn't yours? Whose is it? I found it in your drawer."

I look down at the little square package in my hand, "I...I think Barret put it in my room...when, when he slept there."

I see relief flood into her eyes, "Oh."

"Yeah. I think...he just didn't want us to do something...and do something stupid...well, not saying that would be stupid...I mean, I just...think he wanted us to think it through, or at least be smart about doing it. Wait! I mean...not that...not that we should be doing it, unless you want to-to, but like you said, we haven't even talked about it...and..."

Shut. Up. Now. Idiot.

She's turning red, and I'm turning red. Why is this so embarrassing, really? It's a safe precaution, although it really didn't help the situation at all. As in I thought she knew about her ring, which I'm pretty sure she doesn't now.

I sigh, and pocket the thing.

"Well...I'm...okay. Then. Alright. I just, thought we should talk about it, but since it isn't yours," she gives a nervous chuckle, "Or...rather, since Barret left it for us-you, it's okay. I just wanted to talk to you about it."

"It's up to you, Teef, you know that."

She smiled, blushed a little, looking pleased, "Thank you, Cloud."

"Of course, Tifa."

She turns to walk out, then pauses, "Oh, will you grab that crate over there for me, please?"

"Huh? This one? Okay," I turn away, stooping to pick it up, glad that whole awkward situation is out of the way.

Barret dies the next time I see him.

That's when I feel her hand on my back, "Well, Cloud...what did you think I was talking about?"

"Uh..." Good job suave, how are you going to talk your way out of this one?

"It's okay," she kisses my cheek over my back, and I hear her swallow.

I slowly stand, crate in hands, but I'm not sure if I should move yet, because she's still behind me, and she's shifting on her feet, I can hear her.

"Okay then...well, um..." she stutters around her words.

I hear her walk towards the doorway, and I listen to her steps receding; they pause for a moment, and I hear her say my name under her breath. I strain my ears, trying to hear what she's going to say next.

It was such a soft whisper, so delicate, I'm afraid to believe she actually said it. That she actually said those words, and I'm trying to figure out if she meant for me to hear them, or if she just said them under her breath, or what brought this about, or if she actually did hear me, and is just hiding it, or what the hell it's all suppose to mean.

Still, even with all these doubts, these questions in my mind, it didn't change my reaction one bit.

The crate full of wine bottles hit the floor and shattered about two seconds after I registered what she said.

About two seconds after she told me she loved me.

A/N: Complete ass...I completely forgot to mention our milestone of 400 reviews...slap me, please. I feel bad for letting this sit for so long, but like, PLOT BUNNIES ATTACKED ME. I've been working on this one new story for like, four days. Erg, and neglecting everything else. Slap me, please. Dude...like, I didn't know where I was going to take this with the last chappie, but then, I just imagined that whole awkward moment w/ Tifa/Cloud about a condom. That's what it was, in case you were wondering. This story is rated T, guys. Anyways, so, you can all tell me what you think Tifa did/did not hear. Anyways, OMAHGOSH drooollllsss...I watched the trailer for Crisis Core...drool...I just fell in love with FFVII all over again. Seriously. Zack and Aerith...CUTE...so adorable, like, my heart just got all warm. Further proof that those two ditzes belong together. I mean, just the little details in body movement they put in. I want that music, too. Zack dies, leaves poor Aerith by her lonesome. But it's great, so watch it if you haven't. And we already know it's going to be such a tragic story. LOVE IT. And it's just a trailer. Gosh, I'm such a geek. SHUT UP MEILI...I did not do that, checks Ohmahgod I did...-.-;;;;;...ahem, we'll just say he wanted it to match her eyes...and got a new box...I love messing with everyone's head, and thanks for reviewing so much as of the late!...Sephy: T.T where did you go?! I haven't seen you in like, three weeks! T.T...this is me mourning you. Vin: hehe, Vincent does have humor. And I agree about him being dry. Calistar: We STILL don't know. Rhyssa: dude, like, Yuffie probably stole the ring while she was there, found out, and told Cid, and THATs why they completely pressured him about proposing. Yep. that's it. Ugh, my brain hurts guys...HURTS. I hate calculus, and physics. Anyone want to save me? I'll respond to reviews next time. My brain is mushy...mush...pleh

I shower LAVVY in cookies for getting the reference. It was Breakfast Club, and there is no punch line to that joke. :P