Here we are, as promised: a Very Important Chapter. Rather longer than usual, as I'm sure you were about to notice - there was just too much that needed to be said to fit it into my 250 word limit. I promise this will be the only time in this story that I will break my rule, but you'll understand that I absolutely had to :)
Shoutouts to crazyharrypotterfan, whispered touches, yellow 14, ForbiddenLove7, Sparky Dorian, SilverLily1 and werewolfatemyphoenix. Well done for getting in and reviewing within 24 hours!
Okay, I'm going to shut up now, as I'm sure you want to get on with the damn chapter already, seeing how much I've already built it up.
35. Swing
FridayUp ... down ... up ... down ...
Teddy shouts with glee as the bedsheet Harry has fashioned into a swing from the doorframe catapults him back and forth. Harry's mind, however, is elsewhere.
Up ... down ...
Should he? Shouldn't he?
Arthur's words echo in his head. Could he be right? Could Harry really be to blame after all? But what has he done?
He has always tried to be good for her, worthy of her: loving, caring and most of all respecting. He respects her nature, her body, her wishes ... even now, though it is killing him to be apart from her. If she doesn't want to see him, then he is not going to force her. But what if that isn't the answer anymore?
Up ...
What if he went to speak to her? What if that made things worse?
Down ...
What if he didn't, and they never saw each other again?
If only he knew what the problem was! After leaving her behind for a year, he had always been careful not to do anything wrong ...
Up ... down ...
Face it, Potter, you're not going to work this out on your own. You need to ask her. As soon as Teddy went home, he would Floo to Luna's and talk to her—
"Ginny!" cries Teddy.
Harry almost doesn't want to turn around, in case she isn't really there, but he does, and she is. She isn't looking at him.
"Hello Teddy!" she says. "I'm so sorry I missed your birthday, little man. Maybe the three of us could go to Diagon Alley tomorrow and get you a present?"
Teddy jumps down from his homemade swing and runs over to hug her around the knees. Harry still doesn't speak. The three of us?
ooo
Finally, finally, they have the flat to themselves. Sitting at the table feels strange; it's so normal, and yet there is still something unspoken between the two of them. Harry feels an odd mixture of relief and apprehension, love and fear: he doesn't know whether what Ginny is about to say will put things back to normal, or change them forever, and suddenly he's not sure if he wants to find out.
"I had an epiphany today," she says.
Harry doesn't say anything, but he looks at her and something in his eyes gives her the courage to continue.
"It's so stupid," she says. "I mean, I should have realised it ages ago. I think I was too angry, at too many things, and I needed some time to work out what really mattered."
She took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Harry," she says, and her eyes are pleading for him to understand. "I'm sorry I got so angry. I'm sorry I spent so long wondering why we weren't talking anymore when all it need was for me to say something. I'm sorry I got so jealous when you never did anything to deserve it. I never thought you cheated on me, not really, but reading that letter made me doubt for just a second, and everything that had been building up inside me for weeks just exploded …"
"We never talked, Harry. That's what our problem was. We never talked about it when there was something wrong. I was upset, because Bradley was getting under my skin and I couldn't work out why it hurt so much, but I never talked to you about it. Then I was upset because we weren't talking about it! I was upset because everything was going well for you, and I was always sitting here waiting for you to come back to me, when all along I've had it just as good as you. It wasn't your fault, but I was blaming you for being famous, and I wished you'd stop casting a shadow over me, when that shadow is the thing you've always hated the most."
After several moments of silence, Harry speaks. "You know what sucks, Gin? I had that epiphany the same day you got that letter."
She gives a small sob. "Harry, can you ever forgive me?"
Harry looks her squarely in the eye and says, "Ginny, I love you more than anything in the world. Of course I forgive you—I never want to lose you again. Can you forgive me?"
"Didn't I just spend five minutes telling you how this wasn't your fault?" says Ginny with a shaky laugh.
"From now on, we share everything," says Harry firmly. "It took both of us to stop talking, and it will take both of us to start again."
ooo
And so they talk, really talk, for the first time in months. Ginny is no longer afraid of sounding petty, and she knows now that Harry wants to know how she feels, no matter what. Harry is no longer afraid of upsetting her by making her do things she does not want to do, and so he asks difficult questions, making sure he knows everything that has been the matter with her. The kitchen table, the scene of so many moments in their lives, the scene of their separation, now sees them reconciled. Their lives have finally swung back into place. And despite having not even touched her since she came in, Harry feels closer to Ginny than ever.
After what seems like forever, Ginny gets up to leave.
"So you're going back to your place?" asks Harry, and she nods.
"I just hope Hermione doesn't hex me before I can say I'm sorry," she says with a wry grin.
"And you'll come back over tomorrow?" Harry pushes.
Ginny lifts a gentle hand to his face. Her touch reassures Harry even more than her words. "I promise."
Well! I hope you enjoyed that. As I said last chapter, I got really stuck on this and it took me forever to finish, so I hope it turned out okay. I also hope I've been able to convey Ginny's thoughts and motivations - I have them in my head, of course, but that's very different to getting them in writing. Anyway, PLEASE let me know what you think!