You Should Rephrase That

Ring. Ring.

Erg, what's with the dull, consistent ringing? Honestly, I just want to sleep. Stop the ringing...please.

Ring. Ring.

I'm not even going to open my eyes to see what's causing this annoying ringing. It's should just explode.

Explode now.

Ring. Ring.

Damn.

I scratch my leg...it still itches...I didn't...

Hmm, what's this?

With my eyes still closed, I can feel...I have an extra leg...no make that two, and...I have...I have breasts.

Wait, what?

I open my eyes slowly, wincing at the sudden light.

...Oh...yes.

Tifa...in my arms, naked. Naked Tifa in my arms.

This has got to be the best morning of my life. Beautiful, beautiful, wonderful Tifa, in my arms, after a night that we made love.

Beautiful, beautiful, wonderful, excruciatingly gorgeous Tifa, in my arms, after the first night we made love, hair shining in the sunlight, in my bed, with–

Ring. Ring.

–with the persistent-ass ringing of my phone.

I groan, no way in hell am I answering that. I pull Tifa closer to me, and she mumbles something incoherent, and curls up against my chest as I try to block out the ringing.

It's a nice, warm sensation, lying next to her, her bare skin against mine. Our legs are tangled in knots, and my blanket has been dislodged from the bed. It's great.

Ring. Ring.

God bless, people! Leave us be! I just want to lay here with beautiful, wonderful, excruciatingly gorgeous Tifa in my arms and sleep, dammit.

Ring. Ring.

Tifa shifts in my arms, and sits up quickly, blinking rapidly. She rubs her eyes, as I prop my head up on my elbow, watching her.

Ring. Ring.

She yawns, opening her eyes towards me, catching me staring, and she turns red. She slowly pulls up the covers, making haphazard wrap out of the sheets before standing and crossing the room quickly to my phone.

"Hello?"

"Tifa! Bout damn time, woman!" I hear the voice shout through the receiver.

"Hello, Cid. What can I do for you?" she sighs into the phone.

Cid's voice comes through muffled on the other end, and Tifa responds to each of his questions.

"So, it'll be in one month? And we're staying in Costa Del Sol for a week? You're paying for this right?" she teases.

She pauses a moment, her jaw hanging open, "You are? ...Well, yes I do find that hard to believe. If I so recall, you charged us for that airship ride–

Heh, cheapskate.

"Alright! Alright Cid. What? Go on, ask," Tifa shakes her head at me, annoyed, and I grin wider at her.

I watch as her mouth contorts into a shape of horror, and she drops the phone as she flushes red. It bangs on the ground and she scrambles to pick it up; I watched, amused, wondering what Cid said.

She picks up the phone, a beep sounding from it, before shouting into it, "Cid! I cannot believe you! No wait! I can, you dog!"

I hear a chuckle emit from the phone, and Tifa's eyes go wide in shock. She hit the speaker phone when she picked it up. She struggles to turn it off, but Cid's voice only manages to get louder the more she hits the button.

"So, I'm judging by your reaction you two finally did it. Hey Spike! Which bed you two in?" he chuckles again, and I scramble to my feet in shock, falling off the bed with a loud thump.

"Listen, as lovely as it is that you two learned about the birds and the bees...what kind of expression is that anyways? The birds and the bees...who came up with that bullshit?" Cid continues, unawares, as Tifa still struggles with speaker phone button.

I swear, she's so red she's almost purple. It'd be funny if Cid wasn't teasing her about us two...

Oh shit...Cid knows. That means everyone will know.

Oh great.

I wrench the phone from her hand, "Goodbye Cid," and I shut it fast.

I sigh, relieved, and place the phone down on my desk. Tifa punches my arm, and I flinch backwards, rubbing it.

"What was–

"Why did you say anything?! I could've played dumb! Now he knows you were in the bed–

"Tifa..."

"I mean, it's not like I don't care he knows, I just know he's going to annoy the hell out of me about it–

"Tifa...you answered my phone. He was going to know anyways."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Sorry, you know, about punching you then."

I smirk, "Not to mention you're the worst liar ever."

She stares in open shock, before huffing loudly and stomping away, gripping her sheet around her chest.

I follow in disbelief as she marches out of my room, "You know it's true, Tifa. Come back with my sheet."

She shakes her head, "Oh, because being a liar is so great. You would know, cross-dresser...or maybe that wasn't a lie?" she glanced over her shoulder, "Maybe that was the real you."

Did she have to go there? Come on, that was one freaking low blow.

Tifa marches down the steps, and I follow close on her heels, "Yeah, because you did a great job imitating a prostitute."

She freezes, cringing, and turns to look at me dangerously, "I cannot believe you just said that, especially after last night!"

"You started it."

"Oh!" she stomps her foot, and turns again, walking towards the kitchen, but I reach out, grabbing the trail of sheet she drags, and she yelps.

She grabs furiously at the knot around her chest as I pull her back towards me, and she fights it, wrenching at the sheet.

But me, being the idiot I am, have completely forgotten how bloody freaking strong she is. Ouch.

She grabs a fist full of the sheet, still turned slightly towards me and give a ferocious yank, pulling me forward. My foot catches on the floor, and I stumble forward, running into her. She yells again as we crash onto the floor.

Somehow (with my bad ass swordsman skills) I manage to catch myself on my arms, preventing from full out squashing her. She slowly opens her eyes to see me bracing myself over her, and she shakes her head softly.

"I shouldn't have answered the phone."

"You shouldn't have answered the phone," I shrug as much as I can.

She giggles a little bit, and I lower myself slowly to kiss her once on the lips.

She pulls back, "Let's go back upstairs."

I raise an eyebrow in response, and she slaps my arm lightly before replying, "Not just that, pig. I'm talking about sleeping...completely ignore Cid's phone call. It was a dream–no nightmare. It was a delusion, so let's go back to sleep."

"Okay. It's only nine, anyways. Sleep could be good...or..."

"Cloud, you're such a guy."

"Good, at least you know that much. Don't ever bring up the cross-dressing again."

"I don't know if I can promise that."

"At least not in a fight...or public. And if I recall correctly, it was for a certain someone in a rather revealing blue dress."

She giggles beneath me, "Yes...alright, I'll give you that. It was a heroic cross-dressing moment."

"I'm glad you weren't a good prostitute."

"...I guess that's a compliment."

"It is," I reply standing to pull her up.

She clutches at the sheet still with one hand, grabbing my other, "Well, I'm glad you weren't a good prostitute either."

I shrug as I pull her into my arms, kissing her cheek, "Good prostitutes don't get married, do they? So we'd be out of luck if we were."

"Excuse me?" she asks, eyes wide, pulling back slightly.

Oh shit...did I say that out loud? Oh my God... why were we still talking about prostitutes?! Arg! It's suppose to be a romantic moment! Not when I'm reliving the most embarrassing moment of my life! Not to mention the fact we're talking about prostitutes here, people! Prostitutes! That's not exactly a marriage friendly topic!

This is definitely not morning after material here. I mean, aren't we suppose to be all cuddly upstairs in the bed? You know, cliche wake-up moment where she says 'Hi' and I say 'Hi' back? Why the hell is it always me that gets screwed over?

...well, I mean...okay, I guess it has to even out. I mean...last night...yeah...okay, well, I mean. Alright, fuck it, I'll deal with it.

"Um...what I meant was–

But, I don't have to save myself from that moment. I'm still trying to figure out if what happens next is a good or bad thing.

A key rattles in the door knob and both Tifa and I step away from each other, turning towards the door.

Barret walks in slowly, depositing a couple bags at the entrance before looking up.

"Oh fuck me," he mutters before crossing his arms, "Or should I rephrase that, Tifa?"

Tifa is about as white as the sheet before a red tinge slowly begins to spread from her cheeks all the way down to her neck. That's when I look down.

Oh crap.

I reach over slowly, grabbing a small bit of Tifa's sheet, pulling it across my waist, avoiding Barret's scrutiny.

Tifa growls, before wiping the sheet out of my hand, "This is your fault," she hisses.

I slowly take a step to my right, moving to stand behind Tifa, no longer fully exposed.

Barret sighed again, rubbing his face with his hands, "You got five minutes," he said, before turning around and walking out the door.

Well...that was awkward.

Yeah, that was definitely a bad thing.

A/N: Holy jimeny cricket! I ...wow...I didn't actually think...I'd get 600 reviews...WOW...I'm...I'm speechless. Thank you guys, SO MUCH! Woot!

Calistar Heir: Oh Haruki! Let her have her moment of misty-eyed romance!
CanoeingCutie: WHOA! Calm down, it's okay! I appreciate your vigor, though. It's great...squee away! I want to hear you! I totally love you too
Sabith: I don't know if Cloud would agree about the whole perfect fairy tale, especially after this chapter...hehheh, thank you so much!
VinVal! Yes! The cheese! don't worry about that, I understand busy. Oh I know. I fear the day I end this...but it should be for a while, I believe.
Rhyssa! I know he hasn't! I swear, he's awful! Maybe soon...after all, Cid's wedding is only in a month! And, as for Barret...well, at least it wasn't the kids?
Summer Jasmine: Thanks so much!
Eloa: He's still working on the perfect moment to ask. that'll probably be epic, too. But don't worry! We'll get there!
Miss Murderess Thanks so much!
Saegae/Sael Thanks for reviewing so much! You really helped to get my goal! Love ya!
onewingedangel hahahaha! Yes, DoC2 should so totaly be out Vinnie's mad cooking skillz. for sure
Frek heh, neither can I. I fear the day this fic ends.
DemonLouLou Aw! Thank you so much for reviewing! it means alot, but don't sweat it. I hope you enjoy this chappie!
True Heaven He'll get there eventually...Cloud's a little slow.
bang on the head Thank you!
tri 17 Sorry for leaving it hanging! I should've updated sooner, ah well...hope it was soon enough for you.
Bianka! I'm so glad you agree about the love scene. I don't think it would've fit with the rest of the story. thanks dear! And I loved the little soundtrack clip you sent me! Thanks!
Niktastic It was epic?! Good! I'm so glad, like seriously. I worked my butt of that chapter. ...heh, guess it wasn't much fo a break, eh?
missysilivan oh, I'm happy to be on your alert list, and happy to please! Enjoy!
Musically Gone yes, the eye war, he should've stabbed his eye with a fork...that'd teach that stupid eye.
Zaz9-zaa0 heh, Vin poisons the waiter? heh, I'll have to keep that in mind
zenbon yeah, maybe Aerith was coaching Tifa in her comebacks
Only the best Yes, no sex...use your imagination. I don't know, sex scenes can either make or break a story, and I felt i could very possibly break this story.
ishmaranara life did, but only for a night. He's still Gaia's bitch, no matter what he does
MEILI! erg! All you reviews! I love them all! That's one thing I tried to accomplish with this story, not just rushing into everything. I wanted to make sure that it actually made sense for them to get together and make love.
anarchic9 ...--...wow, megadeath + Fluff? You really do have a choice mind there...I'll have to try it sometime
Chickkie One breath? Heh, that's 42 chapters of insanity. I'm surprised you haven't gone crazy. Thanks!
lelapa17 ah, we had to balance it out, though. A complete chapter of not messing up...well, I mean, look at this one. Barret saw him neked.
L. Duckie Yes, I thought about it, but Cloud's had enough Cake trauma to last him a life time.