Chapter 5: Demons
AN: This chapter is named after the song by Imagine Dragons 'Demons'. Thank you to everyone, who reviewed or are following my story! I HUGE thank to Natalie for helping me edit my chapter. You're awesome!
Emma couldn't deny that she wanted to kiss him — to get lost in the feel of his lips and body against hers — but images of Graham rushed over her. "I can't…" Emma whispered, stopping his lips right as they reached the corner of her lips.
"Why can't you?" he asked, pulling away and staring into her eyes, his hands still cupping her cheeks. "I want you, and you want me. You can fight it — you can lie to yourself by saying it's going to go away, but it's not. Passion wins every time, love. We end up obeying it, no matter how hard we fight against it. It's that simple, darling," Killian told her, watching her closely.
"You don't understand — I'm cursed! You should run fast and far from me. I bring only death and suffering to those who love or care about me — to the people in my life," Emma told him. Killian shook his head at her. "No, it's true! First it was Graham that lost his life, then…our baby," she said. The words had come out of her mouth before she could stop them. Seeing the surprise in his blue eyes, she whispered, "No one but Graham knew. The baby was the only thing that got me through the first few weeks of losing him, but I lost it too." As he pulled her into his arms, hugging her, she cried and clung to him.
Killian kissed the top of her head, unsure of what to say as he ran a hand through her soft, blonde hair. He knew there was nothing that he could say to take away the pain of losing her fiancé and unborn child. However, it surprised him that she chose to confide in him about her deeply personal loss instead of confiding in Alexandra.
"Well, you don't need to worry about me, because I'm already cursed. I've been cursed from the moment that I was conceived," he told her as she looked up at him with tears falling down her cheeks. "My mother, Milah, was once married to the man — or coward, in my opinion — who became the Dark One. They had a child together, but she felt like a miserable, caged bird being married to a man that had been branded a coward. She asked him to leave with her, to start over somewhere else, but he refused. My mother met my father, Captain Jack Sparrow, in a tavern like I told you, and she ran away with him."
"Your mother was killed by her husband, the Dark One. Did he know who you were when he let you go?" Emma asked as Killian wiped the tears away from her cheeks. She had pushed thoughts of her own loss out of her head while listening to Killian's story.
"Yes, he told me that he wanted me to suffer like his son had suffered when my father took away his wife. He said that killing me would show me more mercy then I deserved, being the bastard child of a whore and a pirate." Killian paused for a moment before continuing. "I've never told anyone about my connection to the Dark One."
"I won't tell anyone." Emma gave him a half smile, reaching up to touch his face and leaning in to kiss his other cheek. Killian's eyes closed at feeling her soft lips against his cheek while he held her in his arms. He couldn't believe how much a simple kiss on the cheek could affect him; it was giving him the patience to wait for her. He remembered his mother's words to him at port that day before she died…
Flashback
A young Killian sat by the dock watching the water, his mother sitting next to him with her arm around him and her long, black hair blowing in the wind. "I wish that we could have gone with father — we could have found the treasure together," he told his mother, missing his father who had just left earlier that day.
"You'll get to go with him one day when you are old enough — if you decide to become a pirate like him," she smiled at Killian as he narrowed his eyes.
"I'm already a pirate, mom!" he crossed his arms over his chest, mad at her for saying that he wasn't a pirate.
"Oh Killian! You're right — I'm sorry. It's just you might decide that you want a different life instead of living on pirate ship. You might meet a beautiful girl — maybe even a princess — and decide that you want to have a real home," she said to him, ruffling his dark hair and giving him a small smile as she watched him make a face and furrow his brow.
"I'm a pirate, like you and dad. The sea is our home. If I ever wanted a princess, I could kidnap her and make her live on my ship," he smirked at his mother, who couldn't decide if she should be mad or laugh at his comment. He was just like his father.
"You could do that, but trust me when I say that you'll want her to be there with you because she wants to be there. Sometimes it's best to wait for what you want, no matter how hard it may be. The best things in life are the ones worth waiting for, son," said Milah, smiling and watching him shake his head at her. "Come on, let's go and check into an inn," she told him, standing up and offering him her hand. He took it as they walked away from the dock.
End of flashback
Killian had never really truly understood his mother's words until this moment, realizing how right she was. Sometimes the best things were worth waiting for. The only other thing that he had ever waited for was his revenge on that thing that took his mother's life. "What do you say that we play another game of poker, love?" he smiled down at her as she pulled away from his cheek.
"I thought you would be less anxious to lose all of your gold to me," Emma smirked, getting a chuckle from him.
"You bested me once, but I can assure you that it won't happen again," he winked, letting go of her and walking back over to the table with her following him. They played two more games together, each one of them winning one, and then they decided just to drink. He told her stories of his adventures with his crew, and she told him how she would play tricks on her guards when she was a child. They laughed, enjoying each other's company and feeling the buzz of the rum after a few hours of drinking.
"It's getting late. We should go to bed," Emma said, putting the gold she won away in the bag she brought with her.
"That sounds wonderful to me," Killian grinned at Emma, who shook her head and chuckled at his constant flirting.
"Keep dreaming, pirate," Emma smiled, watching him put his coat on and his winnings back in his bag.
"Oh, I will be dreaming about it, love," he winked, standing up and walking over to the hidden door. Emma grabbed her jacket and put it back on, much to Killian's dislike.
"You should go first, and then I will go," Emma told him. After she put pressure on the right brick, the door opened slightly. "Goodnight, Killian." She smiled, feeling the effects of the rum that she had drunk.
"Goodnight, Emma." Killian leaned in and placed a kiss on the very corner of her mouth, almost touching her lips. Pulling away slowly, he gave her a smoldering gaze before leaving the hidden room. Emma watched him walk silently through the training room before she reached up to touch the corner of her mouth where he kissed her, closing her eyes. When she opened them, Killian was glancing back at her, a victorious smile on his lips upon seeing her hand where he had kissed her, before he disappeared out of the room.
The next day, early afternoon
Emma woke up to someone knocking at her door. She heard her mother calling out her name from the other side, and then her door opened. The sound of her mother's knocking made her throbbing headache even worse, so she buried her head under her pillow, wanting to go back to sleep. "Emma, are you alright?" Snow's voice called out softly to her. Emma pulled her head out from underneath the pillow.
"My head is pounding," Emma's voice croaked out, cracking one eye open to look at her mother and squinting her eyes in the sunlight shining through the room that was making the throbbing in her head increase.
"Drinking rum all night with a pirate will do that," Her mother replied, sitting on the side of her bed. There was an unreadable expression on her face. Emma's green eyes flew open as she began to protest, but Snow cut her off before she could speak. "I'm much more observant than you think, Emma."
"How did you know?" Emma asked curiously, waiting for her mother to get angry at her.
"You reek of pirate's rum, and so did Killian at breakfast," Snow replied, patting her on the leg.
"How did he make it to breakfast?" Emma asked, more of herself than of her mother.
"Emma, he's a pirate — they drink rum like its water. I'll bring you my hangover cure this time, but next time you will have to suffer through it." Her mother got off of the bed, walking over to the door.
"Hey mom!" she called out. Snow turned around. "Thanks…for not being mad."
"I will be — next time," Snow warned, leaving her bedroom and shutting the door quietly.
Emma laid her head down on the pillow, closing her eyes, but she heard the door opening again. "Wow, that was quick, mom…" Opening an eye, she saw Killian grinning at her as he shut the door behind him. "Killian, my mom is going to be back soon!" she cautioned him, running her hands through her messy hair and embarrassed that he caught her looking terrible. "You need to go!"
"I should have warned you that pirate's rum gives you a hell of a hangover. Would a kiss make it better?" he asked, leaning in closer.
"My mom let go the fact that I was up all night drinking with you, but I don't think that she would be quite so understanding when she finds you in my room on my bed," Emma warned Killian, pushing him away. He grabbed her hand, pulling it up to his lips and kissing it.
"Breakfast wasn't the same without you, love," he told her, continuing to hold her hand after he had pulled his lips away.
"Are you trying to tell me that you missed me?" Emma asked, a small smile crossing her lips. Killian opened his mouth to reply when the sound of footsteps could be heard outside the door. "Get under the bed," Emma hissed. He slipped under the bed quickly, winking at her just as the door opened second later. Emma let out the breath she was holding in as Snow walked in, carrying a tray in her hand which had a drink along with bread and some fruit.
"I brought you a little something to eat when you are feeling better." Her mother smiled, taking the seat where Killian had just been sitting.
"Thanks. I'm just going to drink this, then try to go back to sleep. What did you tell dad?" Emma asked, worried.
"He knows, he's not happy about it — but I assured him that you wouldn't make it a habit," Snow replied, handing her the drink. "It smells and tastes terrible, but it will make you will feel better. I'll let you get some rest." She smiled, getting of the bed. "Oh Killian," she added, bending down and looking under the bed. Her eyes met the stunned pirate's blue eyes. "You can come out now," she told him, moving back as he climbed out from underneath the bed.
"I'm not sure if I'm slipping in my old age, or you're just that bloody good," Killian grinned. He had never been caught hiding in any lass's room in his very long life.
"You can stay. Charming and I might happen to come by unexpectedly, and if we find anything but talking going on, I won't stop him from hurting you, Captain Jones," Snow said, needing him to know that she meant every word.
"You have my word. I will be a gentleman — I respect your daughter very much," he nodded, relieved that she wasn't going to ask him to leave.
"Good," Snow said, leaving the room once more and shutting the door behind her.
"That went better than I expected," Killian grinned, sitting on the end of the bed. "What?" he asked as Emma looked at him like he had lost his mind.
"Never mind," Emma muttered, knowing that he wouldn't get it and reaching for the drink. "Uh, this smells so bad," she exclaimed, scrunching up her nose in disgust.
"I can give you my hangover cure — which is to drink more rum," he suggested. Emma shook her head at him before chugging the foul smelling drink. "You're a brave lass to be able to drink that. I'm not sure if I could." He watched her finish the drink.
Emma gagged, putting the glass down and then stuffing fruit in her mouth to get rid of the taste. She chewed the fruit, swallowing it quickly. "It tasted worse than it smelled, believe it or not," Emma shared, making a face which Killian had seen many new pirates make after they drank pirate's rum for the first time.
"Your parents don't need to worry about me making a move on you — not after you drank that disgusting stuff." Killian smirked as she kicked him. "No offense, love. There's no need to get violent." He held up his hands.
"That's too bad, because I hoping that you might make love to me." Emma sighed, feigning disappointment in her green eyes while fighting the urge to laugh.
"Really?" Killian asked, grinning and moving in closer to her before stopping short. "I can't, damn it," he muttered, moving back angrily.
"Is it really that bad?" Emma asked, raising a brow. She didn't think that there would be anything that would keep Killian from jumping at the opportunity to pounce on her.
"You drink that bloody stuff — you tell me!" he countered, crossing his arms over his chest. Then it hit Emma, who grinned at him.
"You're scared of my mom!" Emma exclaimed as she began laughing, unable to stop.
"I'm not!" he protested, leaning in closer to her. She ignored him, falling on her side now as she laughed even harder. "It's not true — stop laughing at me!" Killian told her, but his heart wasn't really in it. A small smile crossed his lips, watching the blonde princess laughing so hard she was crying. He had heard her laugh, but it had been nothing like this. The sound of it made him happier than he had been in a very long time, even though she was laughing at him.
"I'm sorry," Emma managed to get out, sitting up and wiping away her tears while continuing to giggle. "It's just the idea that a pirate captain who's over three hundred years old and nicknamed Captain Hook is scared…of my mom…" She began laughing even harder than before.
Meanwhile
James was ready to storm into the room after hearing from Snow that she left the pirate captain alone with their daughter in her bedroom…until the sounds of Emma's uncontrollable laugher echoed out loudly through the closed door. His eyes grew large, and his mouth fell open on hearing his daughter's happy laughter. He turned back to look at Snow, who grinned at him, tears of joy in her eyes at hearing her daughter laughing loudly.
They could hear Killian telling her to stop, but they could tell by his tone that he didn't mean it. James tried to remember the last time that Emma had laughed that hard and that long. It took him a minute to remember: it was a year and a half ago, when he had walked into the garden and found Graham and Emma lying on a blanket in the sun. They were whispering to one another before they had both burst out in controllable laughter, holding each other close. It had been way too long since he had heard that magical sound, and now it pulled at his heart strings.
"Okay, it hurts. I need to stop," Emma's voice rang out from behind the door. "I'm sorry I laughed at you," she told him, still giggling and not sounding very sorry.
"Go ahead and keep it up. But I'm not the one that drank that awful rubbish that reeks!" Killian told her. "I've only ever smelled one thing that stinks worse that awful drink, and that was Smee — after he fell in a pit of rotten fish guts," he replied. Then he began laughing.
"Tell me the story," Emma's voice answered him, as Snow pulled Charming away from the door. He looked hesitant, but he went with her.
Once they were far enough away from the door, she spoke, "I know that you don't like it, and I don't either — but that's not what's important. The important thing is that our daughter couldn't stop laughing, when days ago she barely stopped crying long enough to eat. We couldn't stop what is happening between them even if we wanted to — it wouldn't make a difference. Emma deserves to be happy with the man of her choice," Snow said in a soft voice, looking up at him.
James took a deep breath before closing his eyes. "I know, but why does it have to be him?" he asked, opening his eyes and looking down at his wife.
"I don't know. People fall in love and sometimes, there's no understanding why it happens?" Snow offered.
"Love? Who said anything about love? Emma can't possibly…" he began to say, but Snow put her fingers up to his lips, stopping him.
"I thought it would make you feel better about the situation. It's obvious that he's in love with our daughter, but I don't think he knows it yet." Snow smiled, leading him down the hall to give Emma and Killian some privacy.
A week later
Emma felt a mixture of dread and happiness: dread that Killian would be shipping out in two days, but happy that Alexandra would be here with her boyfriend for a visit today. This past week had flown by for her; she had spent almost every free moment with Killian, and the idea of him leaving didn't sit well with her at all. Killian continued to flirt, give her suggestive leers, and brush up against her whenever he had the chance. But he hadn't tried to make a move on her since the night they had played poker in the secret room.
She began to wonder if he was losing interest in her — if he would ravish the first tavern wench he saw once he left the castle. A blinding rage boiled in her blood at the thought of his lips, body, and hands on some other girl — especially a tavern wench. She glanced over at Killian as they watched Alexandra's carriage approaching the castle. Images of Killian seducing tavern wenches flashed through her mind.
"Are you alright, love?" Killian asked, raising his brow as he looked over at Emma. He could feel anger rolling off of her in waves.
"I'm fine," Emma insisted not only to Killian but also to herself as she looked at the approaching carriage instead of him. She had no idea why the idea of him being with other women made her so mad that she wanted to throttle him. "Please try not to rile up Prince Eric by flirting with Alexandra. If you do that, I might let him hurt you." She turned, narrowing her eyes at him in warning.
Killian was caught off guard by the anger and jealousy that flashed in her eyes. "I promise to be a gentleman. As I told you before, you have my full attention," he purred. Taking her hand, he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it, lust flickering in his sea-blue eyes.
Relief ran through Emma immediately on seeing his desire for her in his eyes. A small smile tugged at her lips as they stared at each other longingly, but their moment was interrupted by the sound of guards announcing Alexandra and Eric's arrival.
"Princess Alexandra and Prince Eric, welcome!" A guard's voice rang out, pulling Emma's attention away from Killian. She smiled, watching Prince Eric emerge from the carriage first.
He's handsomer and taller than I remember, Emma thought as Eric smiled, bowing slightly to her. He then turned back to the carriage to help Alexandra climb out. She couldn't help but think that he was perfectly matched for Alexandra. They both had the same blonde hair and blue eyes, not to mention that they were tall.
Killian's eyes flickered over the tall blonde prince that Emma had been staring at. He couldn't help but feel just a tad jealous at the way she had admired him for a moment.
"Emma!" Alexandra exclaimed rushing over to Emma and hugging her. "I'm so glad that we are staying for a few days." She grinned, pulling away to look at her friend.
"Me too!" Emma agreed, before she greeted Eric. "Hello Eric, it's good to see you again." She nodded at him as he smiled at her.
"It's wonderful to see you again too, Emma," Eric said, taking her hand in his. He leaned down to kiss it while looking up at her. Killian narrowed his eyes as the prince touched his Emma, but he forced friendliness into his eyes when Eric looked over at him.
"Eric, this is my friend, Captain Killian Jones," Emma introduced the two men, hoping that Killian wouldn't say anything to make Eric angry. The pirate always had a way to infuriate most people in mere seconds, so she hoped he would be true to his word earlier.
"It's good to meet you, Prince Eric," Killian replied, holding out his hand to the prince but unsure if he would take it. Some princes felt it was beneath them to shake hands with pirates, but he was being polite for Emma.
Eric gave him a dazzling smile. "I can't tell you how good it is to meet you!" he exclaimed, taking his hand and giving it a firm but friendly shake. "A few months ago during a poker game, you took every penny that Prince William had on him. It's a relief that he can't claim to be the best poker player around anymore — well he could, but he'd look like the idiot that he really is." He chuckled and Killian joined in, deciding that he liked this bloke.
"He's a blood rubbish player, not to mention annoying," Killian agreed, shaking his head at the memory of the irritating and unattractive prince.
"It's most likely little man's syndrome," Eric smirked, the two men laughing once again.
Alexandra and Emma exchanged looks of relief that Killian and Eric seemed to be hitting it off; they had both been extremely nervous that they wouldn't get along. After all, the two of them had extremely big egos and were known to be womanizers, so it would have been natural for them to hate each other.
"Let's all go and get you settled in," Emma suggested, getting the men's attention. Together, they all went inside the castle.
A while later
"Snow, are you sure that you're up to meeting company?" James asked, a concerned look on his handsome face as he reached out to pull her close to him.
"I just felt a little dizzy — it's passed now and I'm feeling much better." Snow smiled, taking his hand in hers and leading him out of the bedroom down the hallway. "I want the chance to talk to Prince Eric — he has a reputation for leading on princesses, and I need to see if he's changed," she whispered to him.
James gave her a bewildered look. "You are worried about Prince Eric leading on Alexandra, when a pirate is trying to woo our daughter?" he hissed in very low voice, not wanting anyone to overhear.
"Oh dear," Snow smiled, reaching up to touch his cheek. "A man's title or position in life doesn't automatically make him a scoundrel or a gentleman. You should know that better than anyone." She kissed him on the lips and then pulled him towards the dining room.
Loud laughter and chatter echoed throughout the hall, making the castle feel alive for the first time in almost a year. Snow had started to worry that life in the castle would never be the same, but she had certainly never expected a pirate, and especially one nicknamed "Captain Hook," to bring life back to the castle.
"Uncle James!" Alexandra grinned, jumping out of her seat and running over to hug him once he entered the room with Snow.
"Alex," he smiled, holding the girl that he loved as a daughter. "We've missed having you at the castle," he said as Alexandra pulled away from the hug to look at him.
"I've missed being here. I begged my parents to let me spend at least half the summer here almost every year that I can remember." She grinned before hugging Snow, then turned around to wave over Eric.
"Excuse me," Eric said to Killian before getting up out of the chair and walking over to meet Emma's parents.
Emma leaned in closer to Killian. "You and Eric seem to be hitting it off. Honestly, I'm surprised that anyone else can fit into the room with the size of your and Eric's egos," she smirked at him. Killian leaned in even closer to her, a smug look in his face that make Emma shake her head.
"It's called confidence, Emma," he retorted, raising his hand to her jaw line, his thumb tracing it with a soft caress. Killian's patience was growing thinner and thinner each day; his need to have the blonde princess in front of him consumed him like a fire, and that fire was about to be out of control. This trip that he had planned with his crew couldn't have come at a better time because his will power was very close to breaking. He had tried not to touch her over the past week, knowing that he might snap and lose control of the blinding lust he felt for Emma. Losing control would be a very bad thing with Emma; he wasn't sure that she would forgive him if he moved too fast.
A week ago she had confirmed the fact that she wasn't a virgin, but she had only been with one man and Killian was pretty sure her fiancé had only been with Emma. He had asked Lancelot about Graham one night, unable to control his curiosity about the man Emma had loved, and Lancelot had told him that Graham had never really had friends or much human contact before he met Emma. Those facts, combined with the fact that Emma had been pregnant and lost her baby after losing Graham, clearly told him that he needed to take things slowly.
Killian had gone this long without sex before while on a voyage at sea, but he didn't have such a beautiful lass constantly in front of him — one that he desired like a man dying of thirst in a desert. He didn't particularly want to bed another woman while he was gone, but the burning desire that he kept bottled up was going to blow up soon. It would be better for it to happen with a tavern wench who could handle it. Guilt and disgust rushed over him at just the thought of being with someone besides Emma, but he fought against it.
I'm free to bed any lass I want. Emma and I aren't together, so I can do as I please, he thought, trying to convince his conscience that he was doing nothing wrong. Although he couldn't bear the idea of Emma finding out about it, he couldn't stand to see the disappointment in her eyes or feel her disgust towards him if she found out he had sex with a tavern wench.
He tore himself out of his dark thoughts, moving his hands and body away from Emma before drinking his rum.
Emma's eyes were set on Killian. There was a haunted look in his eyes, as though he was contemplating something big, something that he didn't want to share with anyone. She couldn't help but feel as though he wouldn't return, or that he had decided that she wasn't worth it for him to stay. Maybe he just feels sorry for me. It must be pity keeping him here, Emma thought.
Her stomach began to roll with nausea, unable to stop all of her fears of abandonment consume her. Every fiber in her being screamed at her to run — to run to her room and lock everything and everybody out. However, if she kept doing that, she would spend her whole life in her room. Instead, she decided that she would lock all of her emotions up, not letting herself feel anything so her parents wouldn't suffer anymore because of her. She wouldn't steal their happiness from them.
The rest of the night Emma pretended everything was fine — joining in on the conversations, laughing along with everyone, but feeling absolutely nothing. It felt amazing to feel nothing at all — she had felt so sad for so long, and feeling nothing was much easier. Emma kept her walls up around her until she was back in her room inside her small closet. She lifted the bottom of her ball gown, sticking her shaking hands up the purple gown and pulling out a white baby blanket. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she remembered the day that Graham had given it to her.
Flashback
"I have a surprise for you!" Graham grinned, his dark blue eyes filled with so much happiness it melted Emma heart. He pulled her into his room, shutting the door behind him and leading her towards the bed.
"Mm, I love where this is going." She gave him a heated look, jumping on the bed and reaching out to pull him to her. Graham laughed, leaning down quickly and kissing her on the lips. Emma pouted her lips, not satisfied with a quick kiss. He walked over to his closet, grabbing something out of it. He turned around, hiding it behind his back while walking towards her.
"I hope that you like it," he smiled shyly, melting Emma's heart and making her pout disappear instantly. He pulled his hand out from behind his back, handing her a small, white, knitted baby's blanket.
"Graham," Emma whispered, taking the blanket and looking up at him with tears in her eyes before looking down at the blanket again. It had a yellow ribbon around the edges of it, which was tied in two bows at each end on the top of it. "It's beautiful." She ran her hands over the blanket, tears running down her cheeks. He sat next to her on the bed, and she turned to look at him.
"There was a purple one that I wanted to get, but I got the yellow one to be safe. I can't help but feel that we're having a girl," he said to her. She smiled at him, more tears running down her cheeks. He reached out and put his hand over her slightly swollen stomach while wiping her tears away with his other hand.
"I love you so much, Graham. I don't know what I'd do without you," Emma said, leaning her forehead up against his and staring at him, overcome with love and happiness.
"I love you, Emma. You'll be stuck with me forever in two days." He grinned, moving both of his hands to cup her cheeks.
"I'm holding you to that." Emma kissed him, pushing him backwards on the bed, moving over the top of him.
End of flashback
She cried into the blanket, muffling the loud sobs of pain leaving her. I'm cursed, never meant to be happy — I need to accept that, she thought. People are safer away from me. Emma decided that she was going to do the right thing. She had to do it if she cared about Killian.
The next morning- Killian's room
Killian sat on the edge of his bed, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew that he was leaving tomorrow at dawn. He had held his tongue last night when he saw her completely shutting down, deciding to talk to her about it today. The look in her eyes had been one he had seen every time he looked into the mirror almost all of his life, but the intensity of it was fading since he had met her. He wouldn't let her end up like him, fighting the demons of bitterness every day, demons which threatened to consume you in your own personal hell. During his long life, people had told him that life was what you made of it, but he had always been a firmer believer in fate — that a life filled only with revenge had been woven in his soul. Now, a blonde princess named Emma was making re-think his own theory about life.
"Killian?" Her soft voice called out as she knocked on his door. "Can I come in?"
"Of course, love," Killian replied, relief running through him. Maybe he had been wrong about last night. "Your father won't like it, though," he teased, hoping to lighten her mood.
She gave him a small smile as she walked into his room, shutting the door behind her. "He's in a meeting," Emma said, walking over to the bed and standing close, but not close enough for him to touch her. "We need to talk."
"Oh no — I've heard from many men that's not a good thing to hear from a woman." Killian raised a brow, knowing that he was right to be worried about Emma. Her eyes looked almost vacant.
"I owe you an apology," she began, getting a confused look from him. "It wasn't fair of me to ask you to stay here. The sea and the Jolly Roger are your home, and your crew is your family. It was selfish to ask you to stay." Killian stared at her, his face staying blank as he hid his disbelief at what he thought he was hearing.
He stood up and walked towards her, but when she took two steps back, he stopped. "I'm not the type of man to do something that I don't want to do, Emma. Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough, but I'm pretty sure it's obvious." Killian's eyes weren't lit up with mischief this time. They were soft and shining with hope for the first time since his mother had died. He let Emma truly see him — the man Killian Jones, not Captain Killian Jones or his more colorful moniker Captain Hook.
"I'm taking it back. I don't want you to stay," Emma told him, emptiness in her eyes. Killian felt like Emma had slapped him across the face. "Thank you for going along with my foolish request, but I'm letting you out of your promise." She paused, nodding at him. "I wish you the best and I hope you get you revenge." Emma headed to the door.
"What if I don't want out of it, Princess?" Killian yelled at Emma, furious that he had let her see his vulnerability and that she had kicked him away like trash in her path. "I've been doing everything your way since I got here, Emma! It's bloody killing me, but you don't care about that, do you?" he spat at her, the rage he had kept locked in a cage now loose and stronger than ever.
Emma closed her eyes, pain radiating through her. She pushed back the desperate need to take it all back, but she had to do this for him. Killian would be better off without her. Going numb, she turned around. "I don't," she replied coldly before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.
A scream of rage and hurt like she had never heard echoed throughout the hall from Killian's room. Her body shook and tears kept filling her green eyes while she walked slowly away from his room. This is for the best, Emma kept repeating in her head, not noticing a figure watching and listening in the shadows behind the corner.