A/N: I'm aware there are some non-real words in this chapter ...cohorting, sheetless, sheetful etc. Bite me. This is how I write. Unreal words are the awesomeness...that and the fact I'm lazy. I didn't want to post this until the updating system got fixed, but it's not a very important chapter...mostly humor, still, I've let this sit too long. There's a lot cursing in this chap, too. I was in a bad mood. Thanks for reviews loves! Enjoy the chappie!
Head Mess
Rain sucks.
Seriously. It sucks bad...on an ocean, in a storm, when you're going to be late anyways.
It suuuuccckkkksssss.
Thank you for your time and attention. That is all.
Ouch! Gawd! Bless! Dammit! What the f–
Oh, what do you know? I fell asleep and hit my head on the stupid night table.
Again.
Shit, this sucks.
You know what else sucks? Turks. Turks freaking suck.
Ass. Yes, that's it. They suck ass.
Garg, Gongaga. Zack's parents use to live here. I heard they moved away about a year ago, don't know where though. I shoulder my sword and move down the streets to the inn.
I don't even know what's in this package, nor do I care. Turks, course...what if they're up to no good? I should check it out...but that would go against my client privacy policy...thing...y.
That, and if I don't know what the hell it is I can claim ignorance if it all goes to the shits.
That and I really just don't give a damn right now...no good or good.
Yeah, but still... how much 'no good' can someone do in Gongaga?
Yeah, it's harmless.
I sigh, moving through the streets, before arriving at the inn. I move past the innkeeper and up the steps to the third floor. I don't plan on staying the night, and I'd rather make this pretty quick. I just left Fenrir on the ship. You'd be surprised at how tight they pack in bikes and vehicles back there. I should sue.
But I'm not going to. Too much effort. Unless Fenrir is harmed.
Here we are, room twenty-one.
I bang on the door twice with a dull fist...dull fist? Kay, don't know where that one came from... Anyways, and there's some shuffling behind it. It creaks open slowly to reveal a less than pleased Tseng. I swear, he looks as about as happy as me.
Which is kinda sad.
Oh pun!
Or was it?
God my brain hurts.
"You're late."
"Fifteen minutes," pretty damn good considering the crap I went through.
"You're late."
"That doesn't mean it's free."
Bitch, I don't deliver pizzas.
I watch as he presses his lips together in anger, fighting to maintain that cool visage he always has. I mean, you can't be that cold for that long, especially in Gongaga. He's probably ready to shoot himself.
...or me.
Yeah, leaving would probably be a good idea right about now.
"You're bleeding."
"Had an accident; sign here," I forfeit the package and the receipt paper over, and he signs it smoothly.
He looks up at me, even eyes, "You know, for as bad as a mood you seem to be in, you're happy."
"W-what?" What the hell? Who the hell says that? What the hell did he say?
"It's true, I can tell. You seem lighter."
Did you weigh me? What the hell does that mean?
"What happened? Did you ask Tifa to marry you?"
What the– How the hell? The bastard!
"What?"
"So, it is true."
How the hell does he– I'm so confused!
"When did this happen?"
"What?"
"When did you get engaged to Tifa?"
"How do you know–
"Do not question how I know, it's just a simple deduction."
Yeah right, piss off bitch.
"Yesterday, before I left to do this job."
"Ah, so I was right."
Wait... "So you really didn't know?"
"Of course I knew."
What the fuck?! I'm running on about three hours of sleep, I've been slapped by fricken Elena to deliver it to Reno which will turn into a punch, and I've got blood running down my forehead, and the woman I love and recently engaged to is not beside me. As if it's bad enough, STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD. NOW.
I shake my head once, I'm going to attribute this confusion with blood loss.
"Am I actually having this conversation with you?"
He blinks, "What?"
Ha! Your turn to be confused.
I hate you.
"Excuse me?"
Shit, "I said, keep it to yourself. We're planning on announcing it at Cid's wedding."
He blinks again, eyes widening slightly, "Cid's getting married?"
I nod my head once, speaking requires too much effort.
"I wonder who'll be next then, if all of AVALANCHE's old members are hooking up," a small smirk appears on his lips, "Perhaps Yuffie and Barret?"
"No, she's marrying Mr. I'm-not-really-a-vampire-just-manic-depressive."
Alright, Cloud two, Tseng...like...eight.
Shut up I'm having a bad day.
"Excuse me?"
"You can figure that out for yourself."
Slam!
Bitch-door-slammed in your face! That counts...as like ten. Cloud wins.
Shut up I'm tired! Don't make fun of me!
Walk away, just walk away; that's the only way you'll salvage any dignity out of this moment.
Gah, I hate–
Oh shitwhatthefuck–
Is that...? It can't be...no...no!
"STOP FERRY STOP!" Oh shit oh shit oh shit! Fenrir! Home! TIFA!
It wasn't suppose to leave for another–
Five minutes ago! God! No! B...ga...ass!
I can't even think right! Please, oh please, gil be in pocket and not in Fenrir.
Dammit! The only money I have is just what I got from Tseng! Shit, shit shit! This isn't enough money for a ferry back, and a night at the inn...
Warm bed...transportation...
Warm bed...transportation...
...cold gutters...Tifa...
God bless.
Maybe Tseng?
Yeah right, after that bitch-door slam in the face, he'll probably kill me. Still, Fenrir's on the boat, and I need Fenrir off the boat...it does no good if Fenrir is sailing around the ocean, or gets stolen...or or or...
What if the ship sinks? I won't be there to save him! He's my bike! Shit!
"Shit!" Must call Tifa.
Send...Send! Hurry up and ca–
Oh sweet ringing. I stand there, twitching, my foot tapping. I keep shaking, this is not good.
"Answer the phone, Teef...come on, answer it..."
"Hello, you've reached Strife Delivery Services and Seventh Heaven. Cloud, Tifa, Denzel, and Marlene are not–
Screw you, answering machine.
Beep!
"Tifa...it's me, Cloud...listen, um...I ran into a little hitch–
"Hitch, Cloud? Oh ma gawd, that's about as lame as the time you said 'let's mosey'."
"Shut up Yuffie...anyways, my ferry left and Fenrir's on it..." Hell no...turn slowly, Strife...avoid the full shockage affect.
Oh dear lord it's Yuffie...
And what the hell is she doing sitting on Fenrir?!
She grins, blows on her fingernails like it's no big deal.
Dammit, I'm stuck in Gongaga...with Tseng...and Yuffie.
Life as I know it is over.
"What are you doing here, Yuffie?"
"Barret called, said he found something interesting yesterday morning," she raises her eyebrows before giggling, "Care to elaborate?"
"No, now get off my bike," I move forward.
"Ah ah ah," she sticks out her foot, "I don't think so. See, Barret said that he found a sheetful Tifa...so that means there was a sheetless you...explain. Now."
"No," It's a good thing Yuffie's so light really, else I wouldn't have been able to pick her up by her shoulders and drop her on the ground.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
"Getting a room."
"Bastard! Aren't you even going to thank me?"
I stare down at her incredulously, "After everything you've put me through? The stink bomb? The kilts?"
"Hey, I was not the one who decided upon kilts."
"I don't care. You were the bearer of bad news."
"What ever happened to don't kill the messenger?"
"Maybe," I shrug my shoulders, "If you hadn't enjoyed it."
She scoffs, standing quickly and launching herself in front of me, "You aren't leaving. I'm not moving, not until you thank me."
I rev Fenrir's engine, "Good...it'll save me the trouble of chasing you down so I can run over you."
Her jaw drops, and she reacts quickly as I accelerate forward. She jumps to the side, landing on her butt, and I barely hear her call me an asshole over the wind.
How did she know I was sheetless? She just said Barret told her Tifa was sheetful, so how did she...?
Maybe she's in cohorts with Tseng. I bet that's it.
Why must I wake up to think of these things? It doesn't bother me that much. Go back to sleep, self.
...gosh...
Crazy cohorting Wutai people.
There is a familiar weight on my side, though, this familiar weight is suppose to be non-existent at this point and time because this particular, familiar weight is suppose to be in Edge...and since I'm not in Edge, and on a completely different continent, it discerns me.
"...Tifa?"
Sure enough, as I crack my eyes open in the dark, silent room, I find a familiar head resting on my chest, her locks splaying out, her hand resting beside her face on my chest. She sighs lightly, blinking before looking up at me.
"What...are...?"
She grins sleepily, "I got your message."
"Oh," whoops, "Well, Yuffie–
"I know. How do you think I got in here?"
"What?"
"She picked the lock. She could've tortured you in your sleep, and you would've never known. For all you know, you could be bald right now."
I reach up instinctively, stopping though when she giggles, and I notice the familiar bangs in my eyes.
"Oh."
She grins bigger, "I barely stopped her. If you don't believe me, your razor is over there on the desk."
I glance, shifting my head slightly, recognizing the small blade in the light.
"Oh."
"You realize the only way she stopped is if I promised her you would thank her in the morning," she yawns, placing her head back down on my chest, "And, if you don't, then she'll shave my head...and personally, I don't know about you, but I like my hair."
"Oh," my mind races for a minute, "The children?"
"Barret."
"Travel?"
"Cid."
I feel kind of bad; she might've dropped something, well, I mean, stopped in the middle of something. I mean, I could've interrupted something or changed or plans. It's five fifteen, the last time I woke up was...like, three, and she wasn't here...which means...
"Cid brought you all the way here?"
"Nope, he dropped me off near the Golden Saucer. I drove here. I didn't know at the time you did have Fenrir with you, so I figured we'd need some type of transportation...and since you normally keep your wallet on Fenrir, I knew you'd pretty much be moneyless. You still haven't taken your wallet out of Fenrir?"
"I'm a low profile person. I only carry what I need."
"So...you carry three swords that weigh how much each? And yet you won't carry a tiny little leather flap in your back pocket. I really don't get you sometimes, Cloud Strife."
"I'm sorry, Tifa. You didn't have to. It's not like I've never slept outside before or anything."
"It's okay. I was looking for an excuse to come anyways."
What? But that isn't fair...I mean, she's exhausted. Worn out. If I had just seen Yuffie first, this whole escapade could've been avoided. She should be in Edge...asleep. Instead, she's here, exhausted from traveling for hours, and for what? Nothing, cause it turns out I did have Fenrir and I did have my wallet, thanks to Yuffie. Man, that sounds terrible.
"I love you," she kisses me, nuzzling her nose up against my ear as she settles back in again.
Oh...okay. It was for something.