Chapter 8: My Life Would Suck Without You

AN: Thank you SO much to everyone for reviewing! Once again, I need thank Natalie for editing this story! You're the greatest! This chapter is named after Kelly Clarkson's song "My life would suck without you". I hope you'll like this chapter!

A minute before

Killian grinned at his winning hand, but he was annoyed that the redhead from last night kept clinging to him. He was allowing it to continue only to keep up appearances. He was also still angry that he was not attracted to pretty lasses he would have gladly bedded before he met Emma. "I raise you — three pieces of gold." He threw them onto the middle of the table.

The men at the table folded, throwing their cards down on the table as Shelia pulled the gold towards her and Killian. He began to laugh, and she joined in his laughter. Suddenly, the door kicked open in a loud thud, and the men at the table stood and drew their swords. Killian remained seated, not worried about getting a head start; he knew he could easily best whoever it was that was challenging him. He looked up from his winnings, his blue eyes growing wide on seeing Emma standing in the doorway, her sword drawn. It's not possible, he thought as he watched her green eyes fill with jealousy and fury. She was also wearing the sexiest outfit that he'd ever seen.

"Get. Off. My. Man!" Emma's low voice hissed emphatically, turning her withering gaze on a very frightened and stunned Shelia, who was sitting on Killian's lap.

"Swan." Killian found his voice, but he purposely kept all emotion out of his greeting. Her claim of possession infuriated him — she had rejected him, yet here she was, calling him hers! For the first time, he truly understood how there could be a thin line between love and hate.

"Jones," Emma greeted him, her eyes moving from the girl on his lap to him. "I'll get back to you, but Ginger and I are going to have a chat first," she winked at him, a smirk crossing her lips before turning her gaze back to the girl on his lap. "If you make me repeat myself, I will just have to come over there to you. And that will just piss me off even more," she threatened, her voice lowering an octave.

"Well, it looks like you have trouble keeping your man satisfied, since he kissed me and slept all night in my bed," Shelia taunted the blonde, convinced that the men in the room — and especially Killian — would all come to her rescue. He was really warming up to her, the proof of this pressed against her bottom — or so she thought, not imagining that Emma could possibly be responsible for it.

"I'm glad that you confessed — it makes this all easier, as I don't have to go find you out." Emma gave her a menacing grin. "But you won't like it if I have to remove you personally." Emma glared at her. "This is your last warning: get off of him and leave — or fight me," she hissed, taking a step forward.

"Fine, but you'll regret it," Shelia replied. Turning away from her, she leaned towards the captain to kiss him on the lips, but he turned his head slightly so she only got his cheek. "I'll be right back, honey," she cooed at him, making both Killian and Emma cringe at her words. "I'm a lady, so I don't sword fight," she scoffed at Emma, standing up and walking over towards her.

"'Lady' is the last word that I'd use to describe you," Emma laughed, holding out her sword for Lancelot, who took it hesitantly.

"Captain Jones, you must stop this!" Lancelot called out to Killian — he could not let someone strike Princess Emma.

"I would actually love to see this," Killian grinned, propping his feet up on the table as he knew the girl would be no match for Emma. He wanted to hate her for her words at the castle, but he could never really hate her — though he was still mad as hell. In fact, Killian couldn't help but be elated that she had come after him and looked so damn good doing it — but he just couldn't forgive her without making her have to earn him, like he had done for her. I'm really going to enjoy this, he thought, watching Emma take a step towards the red-head whose name he couldn't remember.

"It's not me that you need to worry about — it's her and her teeth," Emma reassured Lancelot. As she glanced back at him, Shelia's fist moved towards Emma in the very moment she looked away. Emma caught her fist in her hand, knocked her arm away, and then punched her in the jaw using her right hand. Knocked out cold, the girl fell immediately to the ground as a tooth popped out of her mouth when she hit the floor. "See — I told you," Emma smirked. All the men in the room stared her in complete shock and admiration — except for Killian Jones.

"Leave us," Killian ordered everyone in the room. They ran to the door, but one of them stopped briefly to grab the unconscious Shelia from the floor and take her along with them. Killian's eyes were set on Emma, his eyes cold and his face expressionless.

"I'm not leaving," Lancelot replied, taking a step forward once all of Jones's men had left the room. Emma turned around; she was biting her lip nervously, and her eyes were now filled with the same emotion when she looked at him.

"Please let us talk alone — you can wait right outside the door," Emma said, hoping that he would comply with her wishes.

"I'll be right outside," he acquiesced, shooting Killian a glare before he exited the room and shut the door behind him. Emma stood near the doorway, still staring at Killian, who remained seated at the table.

"This is hardly the place for a girl of your station to be visiting," Killian interjected, breaking the silence. His eyes flickered down her body. "I think you tried a little too hard to fit in," he added once his gaze had reached her eyes, a flicker of hurt flashing there on hearing his words. "I'm a busy man — tell me what you want, then leave." He flicked his hand at her, looking down at the table and grabbing his rum. When he looked up again, rage and hurt were all over Emma's face. He knew those feelings all too well — because she had hurt him the same way.

Emma pushed a chair away from the table and stomped over. "Well, you are going to make time!" she demanded, standing at the end of the table and throwing her coat onto the ground. Killian fought to stay seated in his chair at the sight of her — she was taking in deep breaths to calm down, which was making her cleavage move up and down and her cheeks flush with anger.

Killian had never seen any sight sexier or more beautiful, and he was very tempted to throw her down on the table and take her roughly — but he refused to, wanting her to beg for his forgiveness. "I guess I can spare a few minutes for you, lass," he smirked as he watched the rage in her eyes turn into guilt and regret.

"I'm so sorry, Killian," her voice cracked as she sat down on the chair across from him at the table. Her green eyes were already starting to water. "I was so scared — scared to let you in because I'm cursed — but what scared me the most was…how I felt about you."

"How did you feel about me?" he asked, leaning over the table with a cold look in his blue eyes.

"I pushed you away because I couldn't watch another man that I love die because I felt cursed," Emma admitted to him, tears running down her cheeks. "I love you, Killian," her soft voice whispered, her green eyes shining with love and tears. It shook him to the core — no one had ever looked at him like that before. However, he continued to hide all of his emotions.

"You love a pirate who has killed thousands of men in cold blood — a pirate who has bedded thousands of lasses without caring about any of them? Or do you love the man Killian Jones, the one who lived in a castle to win over a princess? A princess who cared nothing about what he wanted, telling him that his feelings didn't matter?" he countered, growing angrier and angrier because he desperately wanted to forgive her.

"I love all of you! I love Captain Hook — I love Killian Jones — I love Captain Jones. I just love you," Emma stressed to him, the look in her eyes not wavering. "I hate that you were with that girl, but I love you more," she finished, jealousy and hurt flashing in her eyes.

"You told me you didn't want me — you have no right to be hurt!" he yelled at her, hitting both his fists on the table after being unable to control his rage any longer. "Leave! I'm done with you," he commanded her. Watching her stand up only made his rage intensify — this girl who claimed to love him was leaving without a fight. He had wanted to hurt her with his words like she had hurt him, but her quick acceptance of defeat made Killian not believe a word that she had said to be true.

"No," Emma replied, walking towards him. She stopped directly in front of him and then leaned down. "I am far from done with you," she breathed before crashing her lips onto his and kissing him passionately. Killian sat there stunned for a moment before he lost all control, pulling her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her fiercely, the feel of her soft lips and body on his own making him growl with desire. Her tongue swept across his bottom lip, begging for entrance before moving into his mouth. His tongue meeting hers, Killian pulled Emma's legs around his waist while getting out of his chair and knocking everything off the table. The sound of breaking glass echoed through the room, but it did not register to either Emma or Killian, who had lowered her onto the table and moved over top of her. Emma moaned into his mouth, igniting lust in Killian to a higher level of intensity he had never experienced before.

Lancelot rushed into the room after slamming the door open, and the first thing he saw was the pirate lying on top of Emma, whose legs were wrapped around him as they kissed wantonly. The couple instantly pulled apart and looked up at him in shock, both breathing heavily. "This is not the place or the time," he warned them as leering men looked into the room from behind him. "You have two minutes," he added, shutting the door.

Emma looked up at Killian, the spell of their mutual lust broken. He pulled away from her like she had burnt him, taking a few steps back. Tears filled her eyes at the sight. "I guess I was wrong…. about you feeling the same way…" Emma whispered, sitting up. She started to go to the door, but she felt his hand grab her arm. She looked at him and still saw anger in his eyes, but she didn't care — he did want her. Instinctively, she pulled him into a hug and held him tight. It took a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around her. "I missed you so much. Don't ever leave me again," she whispered against his shoulder, saying the words that he also felt but couldn't say back to her.

He didn't reply, but instead kissed her on her temple, not ready to say how he felt about her. "When are you going back?" he asked her.

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Killian," Emma said, pulling her head up from his chest and staring up at him lovingly. "It turns out that you were right about me being a good pirate — I not only fell in love with one, but I also fell in love with life on the sea as well."

"Emma…" he whispered, his blue eyes running over her face and not hearing one ounce of doubt in her words. Killian stared at her, unable to believe this sudden turn of events, when Lancelot opened the door. "We are ready to go," he said to Lancelot, letting her go so she could put on her coat. He couldn't have her walking out to the main floor of the tavern without it, or the men would be willing to kill each other to get their hands on her — and he knew why, for he felt the exact same way.

Emma turned around to grin at him and saw a very mischievous look in his eyes, as well as a growing smirk on his lips. "Killian…" she said to him as he walked over towards her, leaning in close to her lips.

"Alas, you're not going to like this, but it is very necessary," he purred to her before grabbing her and hoisting her over his shoulder, whereupon she let out a shriek. "Mm…I plan on being responsible for eliciting that noise from you in a much more pleasurable way later." He smacked her on her bottom playfully before he carried her out of the backroom. Lancelot gave him a look, but he decided this wasn't the place to address the pirate's bad behavior.

"Killian!" Emma hissed, but Killian could barely hear her over the cheering in the tavern when they saw him, carrying this beautiful girl over his shoulder.

"Good evening, gentleman —- I've got myself a lass to tame!" He grinned as the tavern erupted in whistles and more cheering. Killian smacked Emma on the behind again to prove his point. He felt Emma hit his in return, not needing to see the look on her face because he knew she was pissed. "See what I mean?" he laughed, the tavern crowd returning his laughter. He was walking to the front door, Emma trying to wiggle out of his grip unsuccessfully, when the red-haired girl that Emma had hit blocked his way.

"You are choosing her over me?" she asked, her nostrils flaring in anger at seeing Captain Jones carrying the girl that had knocked her tooth and her out.

"Yes," he said, looking at her with disinterest. "You will not try to touch her because she is mine for tonight. You had all you could ever get from me last night, so now move out of my way." His blue eyes flickered with serious warning.

She moved aside for him, but Emma gave her a smug look which made her furious. "He'll tire of you very quickly because you're not his precious Emma," she taunted the blonde, waiting to see her anger. Instead, a huge smile lit up her face.

"I love a challenge," Emma called out to her while Killian continued to carry her out of the bar. Emma was having trouble keeping a grin off her face — Killian had talked about her, and she had been the one he really wanted. She felt a pinch on her butt. "Hey, can you put me down now?"

"No, we must keep up appearances, love," he gloated, taking her towards his ship. "Just be a good girl, and enjoy your view." Emma's view was mostly Killian's backside, and she had to admit, it was a great view. She was trying to stay mad at him, but her anger started to crumble away when he called her "love."

"Is all of this really necessary?" Lancelot asked Killian, frowning at him.

"Yes," Killian grinned, walking onto his ship with Emma and setting her down on the ground. Emma stumbled slightly, feeling lightheaded since all her blood had been rushing to her head. "Easy there, love," he said, catching her in his arms and smiling at her.

"So…explain why you needed to go all 'cave-man' on me in the tavern?" Emma demanded, looking annoyed. However, the fact that she didn't move out of his arms didn't escape Killian.

"I needed them to know that you belong to me — it was a very bad idea to go into a tavern dressed like that," Killian said, his eyes darkening with possessiveness and jealousy.

"You couldn't have held my hand or put your arm around me?" Emma countered, raising an eyebrow at him. Her eyes then softened. "I wore this to get your attention," she confessed, reaching up to touch his cheek.

Killian smirked at her, grinding his crotch against hers, and a soft gasp left Emma. "Oh, you have my full attention," he growled at her, letting her feel the effect she had on him as he put his hands on her behind and pulled her up against him hard. Again, Killian felt his self-control fading as he was quickly overcome by the feel of her body against him, the way she was looking at him, and the soft gasps she kept letting out.

Lancelot cleared his throat to remind the couple that he was still indeed there. It was beyond awkward to watch the pirate pawing at Emma, so he had to stop it. "You couldn't let them know that she mattered to you, or they would want her even more," he said, figuring out the reason Killian had let them think she was a simple conquest.

"Pirates want what they can't have — especially if it belongs to someone else, a pirate being the biggest allure of all," he smirked at Lancelot. He may have refused to admit to having any feelings for Emma, but he wouldn't deny that she was his.

"I'm standing right here," Emma huffed, annoyed that she was being ignored. She attempted to wiggle out of his arms.

"Mm…" Killian moaned, giving her a lust-filled look which made her breath catch in her throat. "If you keep that up, I might be forced to take you right here," he whispered into her ear, "and I'd rather not have an audience." He nipped the shell of her ear and felt Emma's nails dig into his shoulder blades through his leather coat. Every second that passed, he was finding it more difficult to maintain his restraint.

"We should head back in the morning to the kingdom," Lancelot said to them, gaining their full attention for the first time all night.

"You can, but I'm staying here with Killian. I won't leave him. I'll send a letter with you," Emma said to him. There was fierce determination in her voice, letting him know she would not be swayed. Killian couldn't stop the smile which tugged at his lips on hearing her words.

Lancelot crossed his arms over his chest. "If I go back without you, I would be banned — and that's the best-case scenario," he said, knowing Charming would be furious if he came back without Emma.

"We'll go back, but I need to make a stop in Neverland first," Killian told Lancelot, not wanting the man who had returned Emma to him to suffer for it. He paused, stunned that he actually cared about the man's well-being and wondering if Emma was making him soft. "We can send a letter back with two of my men on your ship, since you two will be coming aboard."

"We're going to Neverland," Emma's awestruck voice whispered in the most inviting way, making Killian forget his previous train of thought. His eyes moved over to hers, seeing them lit up with happiness and excitement. "I've always dreamed about going there."

"It won't be a dream much longer, love," he smiled, amazed at the change in Emma since he had last seen her. She had only let herself experience moments of brief happiness before guilt had settled in and she was haunted by her past. She looked now as though she had let go of the ghosts of her past — there was hope and happiness in her eyes instead of haunting sorrow and guilt.

"We should get back to our boat," Lancelot said. Emma's eyes shot over to him, clearly giving him a "there is no way in hell" look.

"I'll walk you to your boat. We are leaving before sunrise, but I'll send a man over in the morning to get you," Killian replied. Emma's mouth fell open, unable to believe he had agreed.

"You can't be serious!" Emma exclaimed, pushing him away. Fuming, she glared at him. Her body was aching for his touch, and now he was sending her to her boat. Killian held in a smirk at seeing her as desperate for him as he had been for her since he had laid eyes on her. He wanted to ravish her all night, but first she needed to know how it felt to burn with desire, desire that nothing could extinguish no matter how hard you tried.

"A gentleman always walks a lady to her ship," he remarked as he reached to kiss her hand, but Emma yanked it away.

"You're no gentleman — you are a pirate!" she seethed, storming away off the ship and muttering under her breath. Killian had set her hormones in overdrive since he had thrown her down on the table in the backroom, and now he wanted to go to sleep.

It had been a year since she had slept with or even kissed a man — she had been numb to any such feelings, but now her body was burning with desire. She had forgotten what it felt like to feel lust and need for a man after trying to block it out for so long, but Killian had slowly brought those feelings back to her in her kingdom — and now she felt like she would explode if she didn't have him.

Her anger turned into agonizing pain on remembering he had slept with the red-head from the tavern. Maybe he really didn't want her. Tears began to build in her eyes, and her quick steps turned into a full-out sprint as her insecurities hit her — thoughts of him not believing that a young girl like her, who had been with only one man, could please him like an experienced tavern wench could.

Killian and Lancelot were following her from not far behind when she started to run from them, Killian realizing then that her mood had changed. He saw her shoulders had tensed up and her head was down, two things that told him she was close to tears. It puzzled him until he remembered she thought he had been with the red-head last night. He was finding out that he still couldn't stand to see her hurt, and it felt much worse knowing he was the cause of her tears. "I need a few minutes to talk to her," he told Lancelot when they reached the boat with Emma already below the deck.

"Fine, but that's it," Lancelot stern voice agreed. He was shocked when Killian didn't try to get Emma to stay with him after their earlier displays of affection. He watched as Killian walked onto the boat and then disappeared below the deck.

Below deck

"I'm not in the mood to talk, Lancelot — I'll see you in the morning," her muffled voice called out to him as she lay on the small bed face-down, her head buried in the pillow. She felt the bed sink from added weight, and knowing it had to be Killian instead, she said, "I'm tired, Killian," hoping he would just go back to his ship. She didn't want him to see her cry over him.

His fingers moved through her hair tenderly, making her heart ache even more. "Emma…love," he began, his voice incredibly soft, "please — look at me." Killian continued to run his hand through her hair, with his other hand on the small of her back. He felt her take a deep breath, and then she rolled over on her side, looking up at him. Just as he had thought, there were tears streaming down her cheeks. "Why are you crying, lass?" he asked, his thumbs moving in to wipe away her tears.

"Are you going back to the tavern to…? Is that why you don't want me to stay with you?" She swallowed hard, forcing the words out of her mouth and closing her eyes. Killian had thought he would enjoy watching her hurt in the same way that she had hurt him, but he was not enjoying it at all.

"Look at me…" his voice gently called out to her, making her eyes flutter open. He cupped her cheeks and brushed his thumbs along them. "I'm not going back to the tavern. I didn't really even want her last night," he confessed without really admitting that he didn't bed that wench. He wasn't ready to admit that to her yet, as in his opinion, it still made him seem to be weak that he couldn't touch another woman after she rejected him. "I was hoping for a kiss good night from you," he added, running his thumb over her bottom lip.

Emma gave him a small smile, able to see he wasn't lying to her. He leaned in, and his lips brushed hers with an aching tenderness as Emma's arms moved to his chest and pulled him closer to her. His lips continued to kiss her softly, feeling her body relaxing against his. He felt contentment, peace, and love wash over him — all of which startled him, as he hadn't felt such emotions in over three hundred years. After all, he had been only a child the last time he had felt peace or love of any kind. Killian finally pulled away from Emma, opening his eyes to see the same look mirrored on his princess's beautiful face.

"Good night, love," he said, moving away from her and slowly taking his hands off her cheeks.

"Good night, Killian," she whispered, her green eyes fluttering shut. She was truly exhausted by the wide range of emotions she had felt today. Her hands fell away from him onto the thin mattress; he grabbed the folded blanket near the bed and covered her up with it.

He got up off the bed and walked up towards the ship deck, stopping to look back at her sleeping form. He didn't want to leave her, but he forced himself to go above deck where Lancelot was waiting for him. "She is asleep. I will be over before sunrise," he told him, starting to leave the ship.

"You made a promise to me in the garden, a promise to never hurt her — if I find out you went back to that tavern, I'll kill you, and then I'll take Emma home," Lancelot's voice called out after him, making him turn around.

"The only lass I desire is asleep on this boat," he said before heading back to his ship.

The next morning- before sunrise

Emma walked aboard the Jolly Roger carrying her bag, the crew moving about to prepare for their departure. The crew froze when they saw her, leering at her while licking their lips. "Did I tell you to stop working?" Killian's angry voice yelled out before he walked into Emma's view. "What are you bloody looking at?" he asked his frozen crew, turning to see Emma boarding the ship with Lancelot behind her.

"Ah, our guests are here — and they are to be treated respectfully," he ordered, walking over to meet her. "Good morning..." he started to greet her, but he was cut off by Emma's lips crashing against his as she dropped her bag on the deck of the ship. Killian growled, pulling her body against his and giving into his need to ravish her when her teeth nipped his bottom lip. He felt his control dissipating, but the cheering of his crew brought him back to reality. He pulled away, his pupils dilated and lust gleaming in his eyes. "Did you miss me, lass?" he teased, smirking at her and keeping her body pressed to his.

"Do you want me to show you how much?" she whispered, her green eyes filled with burning desire.

God, do I love this lass? he thought, looking at her and knowing that it wouldn't be long until his control snapped and he would give into his searing need for her. "Oh, I do — but we need to set sail," he replied, hating his answer and seeing the disappointment in her eyes that he felt. "Do you have your letter?" he asked her.

"Lancelot has it," she replied, laying her head against his chest and relishing the feel of being in his arms.

"Tobias and William, you will take a boat to Charming's kingdom, the one that we just left, and hand-deliver the letter that Lancelot gives you to Prince James and Snow White. You will then wait for us there until we return from Neverland," he ordered, not giving them the option to decline. "Lancelot will lead you to the boat."

"Yes, Captain," the men obeyed. They followed Lancelot, who looked back at the ship, hesitant to leave Emma.

Emma took a deep breath — guilt struck her hard for what she was about to do, but she couldn't have Lancelot with them. If he was there, he would stop her from going forward with her plan to make sure she couldn't be separated from Killian. "We need to leave now," Emma whispered to Killian, who looked up at her with surprise evident in his face. "I wrote in the letter that I tricked him, letting him go back to beg for his and their forgiveness. Lancelot belongs back in my kingdom — but I belong with you." Her green eyes filled with love and conviction. He looked at her for a second, pausing.

"Men, we are leaving now," he called out in a loud whisper as he motioned for them to pull the anchor. The men scurried silently, and the ship was sailing out of the port in record time.

Emma looked at the dock to see Lancelot running down the dock. "WAIT, WAIT! SWAN!" his voice boomed out.

"I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! GO HOME! IT'S IN THE LETTER!" Emma yelled, crying as she watched Killian's men knocking him out from behind and then dragging him back to the boat. She hoped that someday, he would forgive her