The Great Escape
AN. Thank you to xHalosandwings, Cena-Wilson-Crazy, VolcomStoneBabe, TJ Sparkles, Grits0205, jojocheer28, xTwistedxImperfectionx, Cocoa, HappySmiler, Chain Gang Princess, RKO.I.F & rory21 for reviewing the last chapter.
Thanks very muchly :)
Chapter Twenty-Six – Those Three Scary Words
ASHLEY
Eve's wide-eyed expression—one that suggested she was freaking out both on the inside and out—was really beginning to grate on Ashley's nerves. Even as she hauled the last of her things inside, with no help from her roommate it was to be noted, all she could think about doing was shoving her until she stopped gaping at her. Fortunately for the girl, she was far too busy unpacking her things to cause any real damage.
"Would you stop that?!" She exclaimed, aiming a glare in her direction instead. "I'm not that freaking scary to live with, alright?"
The brunette appeared to regain her speech after a moment or two, and wearily began picking at the box closest to her. It was filled to the brim with black items and for this alone, she grimaced. "You know, I have a feeling this room is about to get a whole lot more emo."
"What is it with you people and emo? You know it's just short for emotional, right? That's all it is—that means basically everyone is emo."
"Doubtful. You're depressingly emo. I, on the other hand..." Pausing for a moment, Eve points to herself proudly, "am cheerful enough on most days to wear a smile. You know what a smile is, right Ash?"
The blonde merely rolled her eyes as she stood upright once more, flinging a few of the clothes in her arms onto her new bed. Placing her hands on her hips, she admired the new mess for a moment—yes, she had a feeling it wouldn't be so difficult to fit in here. A little less pink and a little more dark colouring would suit her just fine.
Brushing away a few short strands of her dirty-blonde hair, she thought about what to unpack next. She wanted to do this move-in business properly; if it was possible to scatter everything she owned across the place by this evening then she would do it, as it would provide her with something to finally smile about.
Away from Mickie James, away from the unnecessary drama in her life.
"So, erm," started Eve just a moment after her presence had been forgotten, "How long are you planning on staying for? It's just that...well, don't take this the wrong way...but I hate your guts."
A soft smirk curved the side of her lips as she looked in her direction. "Right back at ya, Torres—and just until I can figure out what to do. I need to know how to sort out the situation."
"Here's an idea. Why don't you just talk to Mickie about what happened?"
A snarl passed out of her mouth before she had the chance to stop it. Her expression hardening, she forced herself to turn away from the probing stare; the idea of going to talk to her best friend—or former now, all things considering—was preposterous. Why couldn't anyone seem to realize what she was going through? Why didn't anybody know why she reserved the right to be angry?
"It was just a suggestion." Eve muttered under her breath as she collected her jacket from her bed. "To tell you the truth, I think all of this could easily go away with one conversation."
"Really? Well let me know when Maria reveals your darkest secret to someone you hardly know, mkay? Then you can tell me how it feels to be betrayed."
"Whatever. I'm heading out to the store. D'you want anything?" After waiting a moment, only to get a frustrated sigh in return, the brunette rolled her eyes and stepped outside. "Just a glass of poison for me? Okay, can do."
Ashley pretended like she hadn't just heard the insult as she moved over to the corner of the room, unloading one of the boxes and finding herself pleasantly surprised as she realized she had remembered to take all of her CDs. She pulled the newest of her collection, Artwork; The Used, into her hand and studied it for a moment. Flipping the cover over to read the back, she smiled.
She could cope as long as she had the most important thing in her life: music.
But she felt her smile drag unwillingly into a frown as the last conversation involving the CD came to her mind.
"Let me get this straight. You don't know who The Used are?! First, you're shy around guys and have no idea what to do but stand there like a bumbling fool...and now you're telling me you don't know who my favourite band ever is?"
"Well. They're kinda..." Mickie paused for a moment, glancing skywards as she stuffed her hands into her pockets awkwardly. "Like...the screaming kind, right?"
Ashley shook her head in disbelief. "Where did I go wrong with you? You have to listen to them sometime, you know—I just can't believe this. You seriously need to listen to some more music. I mean my kinda music by the way, not all this popular crap around."
"I'll have you know that I'm quite well informed of your preferences otherwise." The brunette nodded defiantly. After a pause, in which she was prompted to continue, she slowly opened her mouth. "Well there's...erm, Breaking...Romance? And how about...My Chemical...Benjamin? No, that doesn't sound right..."
The blonde scoffed, fighting the urge to laugh.
"No, no! There's also, erm, You Me At...do I want to say Dinner? No, not right? Okay. Well how about Three Days of a Deadman? That could be—"
"Just stop talking already!" The blonde laughed, shoving her friend. Caught off-guard, the petite girl stumbled into a tree, causing a patch of leaves to flutter into her hair and around her. "Ha, you're hopeless, Mickie."
"I'd just like to say," said Mickie, only to pause to spit out a leaf. After expressing a particular look of disgust at the taste, she moved on, "That you have to make an exception for me not knowing all of your favourite bands."
"Oh really? I do?"
"Yes, of course. Ash, I'm your best friend. The most important person to ever enter into your life. The one person who's put up with your crap, especially the bashing of my favourite music. I'm the person who made you more awesome...and I guess you could say more sociable with others. Before I met you, you were untouchable. Now people can walk up to you and say hello without feeling like they're about to get knocked out. Isn't that something?"
"Yeah, I don't know whether to thank you or hate you for that." A beat later, she laughed, wrapping an arm around her best friend's shoulders loosely and pulling her in for a side-hug. "But yes, you're right. Mickie James, I owe you for a lot."
"Yes." The brunette looked self-righteous. "You certainly do."
A playful roll of the eyes kept the good times rolling for at least another fifteen minutes. It was with a silent pleasure that they thought about how much they meant to one another; this friendship was truly special to both, and would always be cherished in the most subtle way.
Eyes blurring back onto the vision of the Artwork cover, Ashley saw her stoic expression staring back at her in her reflection. She hastily dropped the CD, stepping as far away from it as possible, and turned to look around again.
"This is a new start," she muttered to herself in an unconvincing tone, "and it's time to look to the future. Forget about the past."
Was it really that easy? Even as she collapsed across her new bed, she knew that, no, it wouldn't be easy. She didn't even know if it was possible to forget about the ever-recent past. Once again she'd set herself the task of fulfilling the impossible. It simply wasn't going to happen.
Sighing, she rolled over onto her side and curled up into a foetal position. She knew she had to get used to the facts: Mickie had told the one secret she didn't want anybody to know. Adam now knew why she was so guarded and just how twisted she was because of it.
Everything is ruined.
This thought eventually led her to drift into a light sleep.
A faint knocking sound awoke Ashley from her mid-afternoon nap. She stirred for a moment, unsure if her perception of the noise was really just a part of a stretched-out dream, before realizing that, no, she wasn't still sleeping. Something—or more accurately, someone—had awoken her, and now her brain was awake enough to register the interruption.
Grimacing, she swung her feet to the floor, her tired eyes sweeping over the unfamiliar desk of colourful frilled items on the bedside table. No matter how many times she reminded herself, she knew it would take her awhile to get used to living in a new room. The change was far too big not to acknowledge.
If this is Mickie, she thought before she could stop the image of the brown-haired girl coming to mind, she can just turn right around and go back to her room. It's been a wasted journey for her.
Bitter couldn't possibly sum up how she now felt. Reminded of her best friend's betrayal once more, she stalked over to the door, almost willing the visitor to be her so they could have it out. She had several things she wanted to get off of her chest and most of them were insults she couldn't wait to use.
How could Mickie do this to her?
Swinging it open, the blonde found herself surprised when a male figure greeted her instead. Unmistakably, the person who was greeting her wasn't her former friend, after all; it was Adam Copeland, who, it seemed, was about to walk away before she made her presence known.
"Damn it." She muttered inaudibly as he stared at her, a little stunned himself. He clearly hadn't expected to be given the time of day. "I should have just pretended not to hear you."
The Canadian stared back at her. For a moment, it seemed like he didn't know what to say. She wasn't, like he expected, forcing him to leave or shutting the door in his face. She stared at him expectantly. She was waiting for him to say something.
"We need to—"
"Go to hell." She cut him off deftly and attempted to slam the door to split them apart.
"Oh," started the guy as he blocked it easily with his foot, using his hand to push it open again, "So you thought you'd actually wait until I said something before you closed the door on me, huh?"
She merely rolled her eyes. She gave off the vibe that his presence was just a weary challenge. "Why don't you go and screw some other dude's girlfriend and leave me alone, okay?" Looking away, she glanced around the room, though her fingertips still pressed tentatively against the wood.
He grabbed her arm to break the hold, forcing her back into his stare while pulling her in. The sudden gesture seemed intense for both parties. "So, what...is this it? Is this what you want—me to start seeing other people so I don't bother you anymore?"
"Yes, that's what I want!" She answered confidently enough, her breathing unsteady for just a moment before she flicked her hair back, suddenly brave in herself. "I want you to leave me alone. Hell, maybe then I'll find time to go on a few dates myself. You know, screw my way through the opposite sex like you seem to do so easily."
"Oh please," he almost spat at her, caught up in the argument all too easily, "You'd have to actually be willing to trust a guy to be in your company. Oh, and to trust yourself, which is unlikely to happen. Let's just face it, Ashley: you're not going to pay the slightest bit of attention to any other guy."
"And how would you know? I'm sorry, do you think you know me or something?" The frustration that pulsed through her veins took over all the numb senses she'd felt at his touch beforehand, and transformed her into another version of her stubborn, cold self. A more concentrated version. "If you're into me as much as you claim, then wouldn't you want me to be happy? It's a cliché way of showing someone that you love them, after all. I'm sure I could find someone nice for me—what then? Wouldn't you leave me alone because I'm happy?"
"No, I wouldn't! And you know why?" Letting go of her, Adam lifted his hands into the air in frustration, and then ran them tightly through his tangled hair. "Because I am too fucking selfish to let you go!" She swallowed lightly, suddenly stuck for words as his eyes caught hers once more. "There, that's the truth." He began a little more calmly. "I know you're right for me, Ash. You're the girl for me. And I'm not going to let you out of my sight for even a minute. I'm sorry, it's not going to happen."
She could feel a headache coming on. Allowing herself to look away from his stare, she placed her hands on her hips and focused on trying to get her breath back. How had she wasted so much time on him? She'd lost herself to him. Again.
"If you're looking for a way out of me chasing after you, you're not going to get one." He shook his head firmly, trying but unable to catch her eye. "I was deadly serious when I told you I liked you—"
"You never said that to me." She argued back, softly in comparison to her hard exterior.
He almost chuckled. Trust her to never settle. She was afraid, and now he knew just how much. "Either way, Ash, I'm serious about being with you. You of all people should know that I'm not joking when I tell you...that you're the only girl I've ever felt this way about. Y'know...you make me angry, you frustrate me and sometimes you make me want to knock you out boxing style." He paused. At the small giggle that slipped through her lips, he smiled; she truly was beautiful when she allowed herself to enjoy life. "But it's those annoying things about you that make me like you so much. That make me love you."
No man had ever told he loved her before. Not even Jason when she was wildly in love with him, and thought that he felt the same way too. And now, surprising herself with the reaction of relief, she could finally rest knowing she was a loveable person. She was able to be loved, and it wasn't impossible.
But...
Fragile couldn't even begin to describe the shell she'd wrapped herself up tightly in. She could neither say nor do anything to make this situation okay; the blonde was unwilling to trust herself or him to let something happen. She couldn't bring herself to. After all she'd been through with Adam, it didn't seem possible that he was in love with her.
How could he be?
"You have that glare in your eyes each time I see you. It's your defence mechanism, your back-off warning." He was now smiling at her, daring to take a step closer. "Of course, it only irritates you that I don't leave you alone...but I think you secretly take comfort in the fact I'm there for you to talk to. That can be our little secret."
There was a moment of silence. She bit down on her bottom lip, unsure of whether to look away to make this less painful or to stay put, intent on seeing it through to the end.
"You also..." He stopped for a moment, smiling to himself as a memory evidently came to mind. "You also have this way about you. You show yourself as a strong, independent woman, so different to everybody else in the way you act, in the music you listen to and in your personal tastes. You're so eager for everyone else to believe you're someone untouchable. But we both know you're not. You and I are more alike than you'd like to think. These ways...the way you bite your lip when you're focused, the way you roll your eyes when you're mad at me or the world, the way you make a big heated fuss about the smallest thing that bothers nobody else...they're all so amazingly you. And as much as they frustrate me, I wouldn't change a damn thing. You're just so imperfectly perfect, Ashley Massaro. Thing is, you don't even realize it."
Please stop. For once, she thought what she felt she ought to say. Before she could stop herself, tears glistened in her eyes, suddenly blurring her vision. She blinked them away quickly. You need to stop, Adam.
He didn't. "And you think people are incapable of loving you. In fact, you go out of your way to make sure they can't—but let me tell you, it only draws them in. Me included. I've been chasing you for months now and I haven't given up on you; it's taken me too long to realize that I simply can't. You see, I get this image of you in my mind...your brows creased, that glare of hatred in your eyes, your punk rocker style standing out so strongly as you stalk away from me...and, I suppose, I've fallen in love with that image. By pushing me away, you're only drawing me closer to you.
"For a while, that image wasn't there. It was replaced with another of you, when you caught me with Candice. You looked so...hurt, so vulnerable. It was like it wasn't you staring back at me. But that was when I knew you cared. About me, about us. Even though you insisted we had nothing in common, that I was only playing you...it was all a lie, wasn't it? We're pretty much perfect together and it took you a scene like that to realize you felt the connection too.
"And I am sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry I led you to believe you're just a game to me. Truth is, you're not. You're the furthest thing away from it. I mean, I'm pouring out my heart and soul here—you're the only girl I've ever loved. Love, in fact. You're beautiful. You're a bitch too, but you make it look so attractive. So...I'm sorry for dragging you into the deep end of relationships when you give off the vibe you'd rather be alone, but we both know you don't. You want to be with me just as much as I do with you.
"So how about you trust those instincts, huh? Because I'm nothing like the douchebag from your past. Mickie only told me about him because you never would. Now that I know about him, I know I can never be the same with you again. You mean too much to me. I don't think you understand just how important you are to me. And I'd never treat you the way he did. Never."
Ashley sucked in a breath as he closed his mouth for a moment. It was funny—she was forever trying to get him to shut up about one topic or another, but this time she'd been utterly enthralled in what he had to say. This time, things were based on a much more personal level between them. It was intense and meaningful, a far cry from their usual conversations and banter.
The things he'd just told her were made of fairytale stories. Each word was so beautiful to listen to, and so convincing too. If Maria had been the girl Adam was talking to, she would have already melted at his feet, captivated by the speech every romantic at heart wanted to hear.
But she wasn't Maria. She was Ashley Massaro, the non-believer when it came to things like these. They were simply too good to be true. They had to be.
"You're broken and vulnerable." He spoke again, a little softer than before. He pressed a palm against her warm cheek for a few tender seconds, and then brushed away the wispy strands of her hair from her face. "But I've discovered something about those traits. Just because you see these as seemingly negative things...it only makes you all the more special. There's a certain beauty in who you are, Ashley. I can finally see that for myself. And I want you to know...I'm in love with you for everything you are. You're beautiful in every single way."
The sad thing was, she knew he was telling the truth. She looked into those familiar eyes of his and saw the utter honesty in them. This forced her to come to terms with what he was saying, and to take a moment for herself to really think things through. She needed time alone.
She was never one to rush into things, even if the moment felt so perfectly right. But perfection wasn't even real, right? She knew this for herself. She thought what she had with Jason had been perfection...right up until the moment he'd taken her freedom away from her, and stripped her of the one thing that was rightfully hers. She could never take that moment back.
The blonde took a step away from him, surveying the room once more to get away from the sight of him. "I'm sorry," she found her voice at last, "I can't...I can't do this. I just can't."
A familiar feeling began to pulse through him again and it took all he had to restrain it. He'd just poured his heart out to the girl he loved for the first time—he had expected to receive a better reception than this one. "Just let yourself be happy, Ash. I know you could be. You and me, we'd be pretty much amazing together. All you have to do is let yourself."
The lump in her throat didn't seem to want to disappear. She swallowed it down time and time again, but eventually gave up. It wasn't going anywhere. "I'm going to need you to leave." She told him hurriedly. But even if it wasn't going, he sure could. "Please. Could you go?"
"What are you so afraid of?" He asked, placing both hands on her cheeks now, cupping her face as she tried desperately to look elsewhere. "Look at me!" He demanded, half-pleading. When she did so, he whispered once more, "What are you afraid of?"
"You need to leave." Her voice rose in slight panic. Blinking away the tears that seemed to flow so easily down her cheeks, Ashley moved out of his grasp and towards the door. She held it open for him. "Just go. Now."
The Canadian stood still for a moment. He thought about it for a while, debating his options. Stay here and fight for her or leave as she wished. The former option seemed like the one he'd choose but...
Ashley Massaro was stubborn. He knew this much for himself. She'd only be willing to be with him if she trusted herself. And that was something, like it or not, that he knew he couldn't force her to do.
So he slowly headed towards the door, somewhat hurt as she purposely looked away when he passed her. The gentle close after he'd left told him all he needed to know: she was giving up on him. Maybe not forever, but certainly for tonight. That was enough to wound him emotionally.
Ashley leant against the door quietly. She was unsure whether he was still there or whether he'd strode away already, but she didn't care; letting herself go in her own privacy, she looked up at the ceiling and allowed the sobs to build up in her throat.
Adam closed his eyes as he leaned into the wall gently. He could hear her crying. He never thought a sound could be so painful to listen to.
So he walked away, unable to stay for a moment longer. He would go back to his dorm room with a first time experience of being the broken-hearted man.
So there's the next chapter. Please review :)