Heavy
Katara is scared.
Katara is scared that she is weighing Aang down.
Because he is the Avatar, of course he has to continue flying around the world and maintaining the peace that everyone is afraid will break. The riots and conspiracies are like weeds, they pop up unknowingly and it takes a great pull or force to kill them. And that force seems to always have to be the Avatar himself.
She misses him, and she knows that he misses her too because when he comes back he springs into her arms. And he just stays there for a long moment, relishing in her warmth and affection, before he brings his head up and smiles at her. He says hello and they kiss and she feels her head go to the clouds.
They had decided to stay with Zuko in his palace in the fire nation for some time, to show how much they really trust the new Fire Lord and how the people of the world should too. Sokka and Toph are staying with them as well, and their company greatly helps when she feels alone when Aang was traveling.
She feels like she is holding Aang down, because she feels like she is bringing herself down with these feelings. Of wanting to take him away, to whisk him to the Southern Air Temple and his home and just live there. Away from everyone they don't want to see or hear from, away from all the complaints and whining of the world and unsupportive glares.
The teenager is ashamed at how jealous, how controlling she wants to be with him. How she doesn't feel like sharing the arrowed boy with anyone but herself and her yearning heart.
Katara doesn't want him to fly.
Katara doesn't want him to fly away from her.
So she holds onto his sleeves and his hands and his lips, and keeps him stuck with her. She keeps him grounding with her clinging love. Just like when she had to grab onto his glider in moments of need in the beginning, she keeps him from flying too far or high away with her dead weight.
But then she realizes that he might feel trapped, feel too confined in her wants and feelings that she barely has control of herself.
For a while she tries to not hold his hand so often, to not show such happiness when he comes back. It seems to do the opposite of what's desired, as rather than him getting fonder of her without the affection, he seems to distance himself.
And one night he asks her why, with downcast eyes, she was changing. He asks her what he has done wrong. Why it isn't the same and why she won't smile so wide anymore.
The waterbender can't help it, the tears just spill out and she grabs onto his shoulders for support. And she tells him; she tells him how afraid she was and how she knows he can't go far or fly high with her. Because, no matter where he goes, he comes back to her. She is making him go against his nomad way of life and making him attached to something worldly.
But then something amazing happens, and it is all from a simple kiss. It's soft and like the wind and so light Katara thinks she has imagined it at first, but when she opens her eyes she sees his face right next to hers.
Aang explains that he doesn't care or even notice, and says that without an anchor (without her) he would have blown away into the never-ending blinding sky a long time ago.
He is so convinced in himself, and she wishes she could be like that too. But she can't, as she knows she isn't a good anchor. Because she is water, and water is constantly changing and slinking into new crevices. And her feelings are still changing, are still maturing and every time he glides off it hurts more.
She wants to be with him, she wants to be weightless. But she can't; she can feel glimpses of it in their kisses and embraces. When he isn't with her, when they're not touching and laughing, she is a rock.
Katara still worries.
Katara still worries as she sits and waits.