ten minutes earlier
"So what's your relationship with the Doctor?" Jack asked Rose, Clara, and River.
"I'm his wife." said River, proudly.
"I'm his girlfriend." bragged Clara.
"What? No you're not!" said River.
"I'm not? That must of been a dream..." said Clara.
"Everyone knows he loves me most." said Rose.
"Everybody knows you were just there to make him feel better after the Time War." said River.
"Well, I think that The Doctor and I always had a connection!" Jack said, putting his nose up in the air.
"I think I could easily seduce him!" argued Clara.
"Well, why don't we make a bet? First one who kisses the Doctor wins!" Rose announced.
"Deal!" said River.
"Deal!" announced Jack.
"Fine." said Clara, trying to make an intimidating face. "I'm off to change!"
"I'm so going to manage first!" said River.
"Oh no, I am!" said Rose, running into a wall, which made her less convincing.
ten minutes later.
Rose entered the room, followed by River, who was carrying a gun.
"Why is the Doctor asleep on the bed?" asked Rose, obviously forgetting that that's a bed's purpose.
"I don't know," said Clara "he just passed out!"
Just then, Jack entered the room, yelled "Finally alone!" and passed out on top of Eleven. Which immediately woke him up.
"I'm awake! I'm awake! And why is Jack lying on me?" he yelled.
At that moment, Ten and Donna walked in.
"This isn't the console room!" yelled Donna, and immediately turned around.
"Hello. Goodbye." Ten said, following Donna.
Eleven pushed Jack off him, and Jack fell on the ground.
"Right!" he got up, "Time to party! Do my two ladies want to come?" he put his arms around River and Clara, which made Rose's face red with jealousy.
"River, why are you carrying a gun?" Eleven said. "Oooh, I know! Let's get some bottles out and shoot them."
Apparently, no one had thought of emptying the bottles before shooting them, which made an awful mess. That and the fact that Clara was an extremely bad shot.
Nine got very upset and started accusing everyone of stealing the bullets from his banana.
"How are Strax and I supposed to invade the moon without them?" he complained.
Suddenly, Amy and Rory came into the room, wearing Martha and Mickey's clothes.
"Mom, why are you wearing those clothes?" asked River.
"Mom?" asked Rose.
"Yeah, you got a problem with that, home-wrecker?" River said.
"Home-wrecker?" asked John, who was wearing a leotard (for some reason).
"I was there first!" yelled Rose, as she slapped River across the face.
"Oh, you did not just do that!" said River, grabbing the gun from Clara's hand.
"Are they talking about the last slice of pizza? Because I'm the one who ate that." asked Eleven.
"No, you idiot! We're talking about you!" said Rose.
"What?" asked John as he punched Eleven across the face. Eleven fell down the stairs and Clara, River and Rose immediately rushed to make sure he was okay.
That's when the Dalek came in, wearing a party hat.