[AN: First fanfic so bear with me. I don't own the characters at all, they belong to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own only the words ^^ pRussia rocks ^^ okay carry on ^^]
Two different lives. Two different hearts. Two different worlds. One man's struggle to gain back something precious.
It wasn't that he, Ivan Braginski couldn't love the crimson eyed Prussian…he just wasn't able to express his love well. He could try but he'd end up doing something drastic like probably killing somebody…or exploding a whole house. But mainly he signified everything bad, everything evil.
Ivan sat in his house, looking out the window as pure white snow fell, making him think of Gilbert Beilschmidt, the one with the fiery crimson eyes and a twisted smirk. The one who was to Ivan, something precious, yet forbidden. The one who thought himself 'awesome'.
The truth was Ivan thought of him as awesome too. Just that he could never tell him. Ivan got up from the chair that was in front of the roaring fireplace. Going over to the calendar, he took the red marker and crossed out the dates, 22, 23 and stopped at the 24th, looking at the great clock on the mantel piece, it showed the time, 10.35 about 2hours more to the dreaded day, Christmas.
Last year's Christmas had turned out to be a disaster. Instead of being able to wish Gilbert he'd caused him more trouble, he'd some how led a whole platoon of soldiers there…and he'd seen that look of betrayal in the Prussian's eyes. The crimson eyes that he could read so well. "I'm so sorry, Gilbert," Ivan had told him, but he hadn't even listened to the Russian.
This time it would be different he'd set things right, he had made a promise to himself. He would tell Gilbert of how he truly felt, tell him that he loved him. And to apologize for all the things that he had done wrong.
[well i hope that was rather good...i hope it was ^^ wheet~! constructive criticism/reviews appreciated and more of pRussia ^^ *goes off to type next chapter*]