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13. The Dying Process

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Time got lost somewhere in the days following Odo's wedding.

Mora's pain worsened almost overnight. High doses of triptacederine combined with the metorapan patch and takeo smoothies offered his only relief. The dexalin stopped helping his fatigue and the cough aggravated his back, so he discontinued it. He had trouble getting out of bed, and he couldn't bathe without assistance. Aleexa got him a bedside commode with a rig to transport his waste right into the bathroom toilet. He knew he was losing ground after he needed Aleexa's help to take a shower.

Sleep became Mora's favorite escape. He slept often and dreamed every time. Sometimes his slumber sent him chaotic, abstract visions. Others seemed as real as a holosuite program.

And then came the morning he woke to Leruu petting his hair. She smiled, crinkling her lovely green eyes. Her breath tickled his brow when she bent to kiss his nose ridges.

"Good morning," she said.

Mora blinked at hearing her voice. He caught her hand. "Leruu?"

"Who else, silly?" Leruu rubbed his upper arms. "How do you feel?"

"Awful," Mora admitted. "But with you here? Better."

Leruu climbed onto the bed with him. Mora's throat ached when her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Yet something about her felt different. He let his gaze wander downward to the swell of her gravid belly. His heart caught somewhere in his throat.

She followed the line of his eyes. "The baby is due in two weeks."

"Oh, darling..."

"Do you want to feel him kick?"

"Him?"

"I'm still sure it's a boy." Leruu placed his hand on her swollen belly. It felt soft, yet strong under his hand- like a hard boiled egg after peeling off its shell. Something tiny swished beneath his palm.

"Oh!" Mora gasped, meeting Leruu's eyes. "I can't believe you're making that."

"Well..." She grinned impishly, "You helped get it started."

Then she laughed that wonderful laugh of hers. The baby inside her moved some more.

Leruu visited again late in the evening. No one else saw her, yet Mora never thought anything of it.

"Close your eyes, Pol. I want to show you something."

Mora did what she asked. Leruu helped him sit up.

"Now you may look," she said.

They stood together on an asteroid within an unfamiliar solar system. Mora saw a blue and brown planet twirling around its central G-class star. The planet's gray-green moon orbited extremely close to it.

"This is your star, Pol."

"My star?" Mora flashed back to Kejal naming a blob in 'his' nebula. "Oh. Oh my..."

He looked towards the galactic hub. Except, there appeared to be two, and the neat stellar bands denoting the Milky Way were distorted beyond recognition. Giant clouds of star birth lit the darkness like newly polished jewels.

"So it's true...this galaxy is colliding with another."

Leruu nodded, looping her arm through his. "Yes."

He closed his eyes and breathed the floral scent of her hair. How he did so when there wasn't any air never occurred to him.

"I must look so old to you," whispered Mora.

Leruu didn't answer.

Mora opened his eyes. He was in his bedroom again, staring at the blue daylight outside his window. The hand on his shoulder wasn't Leruu's.

"Good morning." Kira sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry to wake you up. It's almost lunchtime. Aleexa wants to know if you'd like any soup."

"Yes. Thank you." Mora covered a yawn and stretched. He thought better of it after invisible hot pokers jabbed his back. His eyes screwed themselves shut. "Oh!"

"Are you all right?"

"The pain is pretty bad." He admitted. "Would you please hand me my triptacederine hypo and the white card? Ah, thank you."

Kira patted his hand. "I'll go let Aleexa know you want lunch."

Mora reached under his nightshirt collar and peeled off yesterday's metorapan patch. He stuck the new one onto his hip- Aleexa said to place it on a new site every day- and dosed himself with the triptacederine. The sharp pains in his back cooled away into nothing.

"Coming in!" Aleexa announced. "Are you decent to be seen?"

He had to laugh. She saw him naked yesterday, so why did it matter?

"I'm clothed, if that's what you mean."

She stepped in carrying a steaming bowl. "I always like to ask. Dignity matters. Plus, you stepped into a towel. I only saw your bottom."

Mora let Aleexa roll a tray up to the bed. He stirred the chunky, delicious smelling soup and watched steam pour into the cool air.

"I keep dreaming about Leruu."

"Oh?" Aleexa leaned forward. Her tender smile warmed Mora's heart. "What sort of dreams?"

"She is..." Mora gestured at his own stomach to indicate a pregnant belly. "I felt the baby kick. She told me it's due in a few weeks. When she died, she was only six weeks along."

"Mm, and Bajoran women don't show until the second month, right?"

"Mmhmm." Mora tasted the first salty spoonful of soup. Somehow Aleexa managed to create a rainbow of flavors. He enjoyed the chewy bits of cabbage she'd added at his request. "Leruu had the most adorable sneezing fits. They always came in clusters of five at the same time every morning. You knew it was ten-hundred at the first set, and ten-hundred and five at the second set."

"Was she a scientist, too?"

"No. Leruu was extremely smart, but she hid it and worked with the laboratory cleaning crew." Mora ate another bite. "She listened in on Cardassian talk around the lab and helped smuggle ingredients for medicine and information to a small Resistance cell." He sighed, his eyes far away. "Leruu could sweet-talk you into believing the sky is purple. It's a miracle she was never caught."

Aleexa giggled, her eyes twinkling. "I'm sorry I never met her. She sounds like someone I'd definitely get along with."

"Leruu would have adored you. She was kind to practically everyone...except the Cardassians." Mora licked the spoon and finished the soup. "I need a shave."

"I'll get your supplies."

A good shave fixed a lot of ills.

Fifteen minutes later, Mora let Aleexa help him into his favorite chair by the oval window. He held a small PADD in his left hand.

Odo, Kira, Kejal and Aleexa sat together on the couch. They gathered at his request.

"I know this is difficult, but I want to get this done now. I don't want you scrambling around after I'm gone. This PADD has all the information you need for planning my funeral." Mora cleared his throat. He'd put this off so long because it made him emotional. "Keep it small, and bury me beside Leruu at sunset as soon as you can after my death. Odo, I have a copy of my treatise...I would like you to read it before I'm buried."

Odo's blue eyes widened. He folded his hands in his lap. "I can do that."

Mora nodded once. "Kejal, I have the chants I'd like sung over my grave." He read them off the PADD.

"Okay...I know those. I'll do it, father." Kejal breathed. Almost humorously, he mirrored Odo's stiff posture.

"Nerys, I understand your duties on Deep Space Nine may mean you can't be present." Mora said, focusing on her. "Please don't trouble yourself over it. If you are here, I'd like you to help carry my coffin."

"I'll be here for the funeral." Kira laid her hands on the two clasped pairs flanking her. Her strength held the two Changelings beside her together. Somehow.

"Aleexa," Mora focused on her, "If you're able, I'd like you to carry my coffin, too." He gazed at people gathered on the couch. "I don't want a spectacle or a three hour chant. All I need is a simple burial in the presence of those who stood at my side in my final days."

Kejal suddenly hopped off the couch. He curled up in Mora's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. Mora set the PADD aside and embraced him.

"I'm not ready," Kejal whispered. "It's going to happen, but I'm not ready."

Mora kissed his ear. "You will be when the time comes."

Aleexa and Kira discretely slipped into the guest bedroom to speak quietly amongst themselves. Odo stayed on the couch. Always just out of reach behind his mental stronghold.

Except now, Leruu sat beside Odo, petting his hand, and Odo had no idea. She winked before disappearing in the time it took Mora to glance at the clock.

He closed his eyes and stroked Kejal's hair.

"Odo?"

"Yes, Doctor Mora?"

"I'm sorry if I spoiled your wedding."

"What?" Odo balked. "You...you didn't."

"It's only been two days since you got married, and I've declined so much."

"Three, actually...you slept through most of yesterday."

Kejal snorted and rubbed his cheek against Mora's shoulder. "You kept talking to Leruu in your sleep. I didn't want anybody to wake you up and take those dreams away. You looked so happy."

"I was," said Mora.

"As I was saying..." Odo squared his shoulders. "You haven't spoiled anything. We all knew this was coming. The wedding was the surprise." He tipped his head towards the guest bedroom.

"A pleasant surprise." Mora beamed. "I think I'm ready to lie down again. Assist me?"

Kejal climbed off Mora's lap. Odo extended a hand. They helped Mora up and walked him back into his bedroom.

That evening, he had trouble keeping his supper down. Aleexa made excellent ratamba stew. Its delicious smell filled up the whole house. Mora ate a whole bowl full, and spent the rest of the night vomiting.

Odo commed Aleexa when Mora brought up blood. She came and gave him an antiemetic, and the heaving stopped.

"I think it's time I moved in, sweetie." Aleexa said soothingly. "I can share the guest bedroom with Nerys. I'll bring a futon."

"There is a mattress hidden in the wall. Pull the handles behind the door and you have a spare bed." Mora made a face. "Why am I vomiting? I felt fine this morning, and I know I don't have an infection."

Aleexa smoothed his hair back. "Your digestive organs aren't getting enough oxygenated blood. They're slowing down. It's a normal part of the process."

"What can I do?"

"Small, light meals might be best."

Mora closed his eyes. He used to be a big eater until recently. "Thank you...I'm sorry for waking you."

"No, don't apologize, sweetheart. Times like this are when you need me the most."

"I appreciate- " Mora gagged and leaned over the bowl in his lap. Nothing came up. "False alarm."

Aleexa gave him water to swish around in his mouth. "I'll sleep in the spare room tonight. I'll get the rest of my supplies tomorrow morning."

Mora laid back. He wiped a hand across his face. "I'm getting close to the end, aren't I?"

"Yes, Pol, you are." Aleexa never sugarcoated anything. Mora liked that. She leaned forward, fixing him in a serious gaze. "Is there anything you want to do that hasn't been done?"

He nodded without hesitation. "It's...a private matter I need to resolve on my own. I hope I have enough time. It's going so fast now."

She rubbed his hand. "It's a blessing. It really is."

"Now watch, I'll end up living another six months." Mora chuckled at the irony. "I never do things the conventional way."

"Well, good!" Aleexa replied jokingly. "I never liked conventional men anyway!"

They both snorted. Aleexa emptied and washed the sick bowl.

Mora drifted in and out of slumber. He dreamed about Cardassians pouring acid into a beaker of golden fluid. The liquid screamed. Its pain traveled straight through his lower back. He awoke gasping for air.

"Shh, father. It's time for your medicine." Kejal changed the metorapan patch and gave him his triptacederine. He handed Mora his oxygen mask. "Here."

Mora breathed the sterile-smelling air. He slowly resumed his sleep. This time, he rested peacefully.

.o

Aleexa's discrete departure from the guest bedroom barely registered in Odo's consciousness. Somehow, he'd reverted to his gelatinous state in his sleep, but Kira's body was the dam keeping him on the bed. He assumed his humanoid form and nibbled on Kira's ear.

"Nerys..."

"Hmmm?" Kira answered. He loved her croaky just-awakened voice.

"I have a bowl of koganka pudding."

"Ugh!" She pulled the pillow over her head.

Odo chuckled, kissing her bare shoulder. She hit him in the face with the pillow.

"Spousal abuse is a crime." Odo smirked.

"So are bad jokes first thing in the morning."

"I never joke."

"Ugh. I want a divorce."

They snickered at the same time.

Odo grabbed the pillow, flung it over his shoulder and caught Kira's wrists. "You are under arrest for spousal abuse."

"Ooh, is anything I say going to be used against me?" Kira squirmed in his grasp.

"Possibly." Odo morphed his hands into handcuffs. "Resisting arrest is also a crime. How do you plead?"

Kira licked the end of his nose. She grinned with fire in her eyes. "Guilty."

Odo's eyes glinted. "Then your sentence is death by a thousand drops."

His body glistened as he liquefied. He oozed drop by drop under the front of her nightgown. Beads of his substance slithered across her erogenous zones. He flowed through softness, wetness and warmth until her gasps of release sent him rippling into ecstasy.

Odo reconstituted himself when the chaos of the moment passed. He spent a short time as a puddle between her breasts before slipping to the floor and regaining his humanoid shape.

Kira rolled over and kissed him as he rose. "I wish I didn't have to go back to Deep Space Nine again. Pol is getting worse. I don't think he'll live much longer."

He glanced at the sand mandala hanging above the bed. "I know, but it's probably for the best. Do you want me to accompany you to the space port?"

She shook her head. "I want you to stay here and take care of Pol. He needs you, Odo."

Odo hung his head. He couldn't decide if the emotion curling in his chest was anguish or shame. Having Kira around gave him a great excuse to avoid seeing Doctor Mora's illness advancing.

"I'll see if he needs anything."

Kira squeezed his arm. Odo kissed her brow.

He crossed the living room and poked his head into Doctor Mora's bedroom. Just in time to see him miss his sick bowl and splatter vomit all down his chest.

Doctor Mora muttered obscenities. The tiny dinner napkin he grabbed did not even touch the mess on his clothes.

Odo hurried into the room. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

"Odo, wait, I- " Doctor Mora heaved into the bowl a second time.

Disgusted, Odo averted his gaze and praised his inability to smell.

"Aleexa will help me bathe."

"She isn't here right now. You aren't sitting in emesis until she gets back. Are you through?"

"Yes. That was breakfast."

At that, Odo helped Doctor Mora stand and assisted him into the bathroom. "I'll help you get into the shower. Take your nightshirt off and give it to me once you're inside."

"That's a strange way to do it." Doctor Mora replied.

"And more private."

"You have a point."

Odo steadied Doctor Mora until he stood safely inside the shower. A few seconds later, he was presented with the vomit stained nightshirt. Odo wadded it up and shoved it into the bedroom replicator for cleaning.

The shower hissed.

Doctor Mora called. "Odo, please, don't go far. Stay in the bathroom."

Something in his voice stopped Odo from walking away. A thread of...panic?

"Doctor Mora?"

Odo saw Doctor Mora sitting on the bench in the middle of the shower. Hot water poured down his back. The bones closest to his skin stuck out in sharp relief. His ribs were visible, though not overly so, and his arms and legs seemed thinner than Odo remembered.

He was a hardy man, once. Now, his flesh resembled clothing too large for its frame. Everything sagged around his bones.

An odd stinging made Odo blink his eyes. When did Doctor Mora's hands grow that thin? They were the same hands he feared for so long. And now, he realized, Doctor Mora could hardly use them to wash himself.

Not even newborn Kejal looked that vulnerable. And there sat Doctor Mora, naked and nearly helpless.

Odo forced away the pity gnawing at his mind. He knocked on the doorframe. "Doctor Mora, do you need assistance?"

"Yes," came the quiet reply.

Reluctantly, Odo soaped up the wash rag and handed it to his mentor. "Wash what you can reach and I'll help with the rest."

He kept his eyes downcast and felt the rag slide off his fingers.

Doctor Mora reached for the mobile showerhead. He stopped short, making a wounded noise in his throat. Odo rolled his eyes and got it down for him.

This is insane. He can't honestly be that sick...

"I need your help now."

"Where am I washing you?"

"I got my front from my neck to my knees. The rest is up to you."

Of course, Odo groused mentally. This was so much easier when he imagined Doctor Mora as being invincible. He didn't like seeing the reality.

Odo started at Doctor Mora's feet. He kept his eyes only on what he was washing.

"Your left knee is swollen."

"It's been that way for years."

Doctor Mora's toes were short and round like his fingers. Odo worked the washcloth between them. It would have been easier if Doctor Mora didn't squirm.

"Can you try to be still?" Odo grumbled.

"I'm ticklish. I can't help it." Doctor Mora leaned forward, discretely covering himself with his arms.

Some of Odo's irritation melted. Like smell or taste, he lacked the ability to feel tickle sensations until after he spent time as a humanoid. He often assumed Kejal "let" him keep it.

Even then, he often hated it unless Kira did it. She had the ability to tickle him in the most erotic way. With one finger, she could leave him gasping.

"You're smiling about something."

Odo wiped the smirk off his face. "No, I'm not."

"All right." Doctor Mora hung his head. "I won't argue with you."

"Thank you. I'm going to wash your back now." Odo rinsed the soap away. "Do you need help standing up?"

"I'll stand myself up." Doctor Mora grasped the grab poles on either side of him and pulled himself up. Odo saw more of him than he ever wanted to as he slowly turned away.

"It's painful to stand, so please hurry."

The muscles under his skin quivered. His sides heaved when he breathed. He pressed his forehead against his wrists.

Odo swore he heard a muffled whimper. Such a proud man reduced to this...it just wasn't right.

Odo scrubbed Doctor Mora's back. He got into the shower, not caring that he got wet, and knelt to wash his lower body. Then he rinsed. Slowly, carefully, still fighting the pity encroaching on his mind.

Doctor Mora lost his balance as Odo shut off the water. Odo caught him by the armpits. The former scientist weighed less than he did the last time Odo picked him up. He was shrinking into nothing!

"That's the last time I drink a martini," said Doctor Mora. He twisted his head to smile at Odo.

Odo scoffed at him. "This is the last time I shower fully clothed. And...by the way? Martinis taste terrible."

They both chuckled, breaking the tension.

Odo walked Doctor Mora to the waste unit, lowered the lid and sat him down. Doctor Mora leaned forward with his forearms resting on his knees. He grasped the towel Odo wrapped around his shoulders and sprayed something on his underarms.

"Do you remember how water used to scare you?"

"Mmhmm." Odo caught his own mothering instincts in action again when he started drying Doctor Mora off. "You're the one who told me humanoids die if they submerge."

"And then you..." Doctor Mora laughed, "...you fell into the river outside the lab, and it was hell getting you back out. You discovered you could swim."

"Exposure seems to help me get over my fear of anything." Odo stopped moving the towel. He met Doctor Mora's eyes. "Especially the lab."

"I'm sorry about it, Odo."

"Please, Doctor Mora, don't." Odo wasn't ready to hear this. So he did what he always did and pushed the subject away. "I didn't realize how low this commode is. How does Aleexa normally help you stand up?"

"I used to use the grab poles, but it's too hard now. This is how she helps." Doctor Mora placed his hands on Odo's shoulders. If being pushed away hurt, he did a fine job of not showing it. "She has me hold on and stands up." His eyes crinkled. "It's remarkable how strong Talaxians are, isn't it?"

"Indeed. Hang on." Odo stood, pulling Doctor Mora onto his feet. "You need a shave."

"You don't miss a single detail." Doctor Mora rubbed his chin. "Help me to the sink and I'll take care of that."

"Mother? Where's the- ew! Father vomited!"

Odo rolled his eyes while Doctor Mora combed his hair and shaved off his stubble.

"Kejal, it's just vomit. Clean it up. I'm busy."

"It's gross! I'll do whatever you're doing, you clean this up."

"No," Odo replied sternly.

"I'm going to gag." Kejal complained.

"You don't have a gag reflex." Odo sent back, smirking. "Clean it up, Kejal. The smell will make Doctor Mora ill again."

A long-suffering sigh punctuated footsteps moving away. Then Odo heard the wet splat of the mop at work. He nodded, satisfied.

Doctor Mora put his straight razor away and splashed water on his face. "Kejal still enjoys pushing peoples' buttons."

"Sometimes, he is such a child."

"I heard that, mother!"

Odo fought down the sharp retort. It would only open up the avenue for Kejal to continue the argument, which meant he didn't have to mop. Odo wasn't going to play that game.

"Do you want me to bring you a clean nightshirt, Doctor Mora?"

"Thank you, no. Take me back into my bedroom and I'll- " Doctor Mora stopped mid-sentence and stared blankly at his shower. He smiled, " -I'll put one on myself."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Leruu is taking a shower."

"What?"

"Nothing." Doctor Mora shook his head. "Please." He gestured towards the bathroom door.

Odo tucked the towel around Doctor Mora's waist and helped him into the freshly mopped bedroom. Kejal had the decency to dry the floors.

Doctor Mora pulled on his brown winter nightshirt. An old, shapeless thing that somehow kept him warm.

Still shaking his head, Odo found Kira carrying her travel bag to the front door. He stopped short of exiting the living room. A familiar, colorful artifact hung on the wall by Doctor Mora's bedroom door.

"Oh!" She said, "I put the sand mandala on the wall in the living room. Pol might like having it around. I better see him...just in case he's not here when I get back."

Odo kissed her cheek. Kira still looked a little flushed from their early morning activities. She slipped past him on her way to Doctor Mora's bedroom.

Outside, Kejal slouched on the swing, half-heartedly kicking at a seed pod under his feet.

"I was helping Doctor Mora." Odo said upon joining him. "I couldn't let him fall and hurt himself."

"He throws up almost everything he eats now," grumbled Kejal. "I don't like seeing him this way, mother. Father values his dignity."

"I've said this before for a different reason, but I'm going to say it again now. Perhaps the fact that it's not easy is what makes it worthwhile."

Kejal shot him a hard look, his brown eyes blazing. "It's so easy for you to say that, isn't it? You don't love him like I do. Seeing him sick like this doesn't hurt you as much as it hurts me. He loves you, and you won't see it! You're going through the motions. That isn't taking care of someone. He wants you to love him, mother. He's sorry for the pain he caused you in the lab. I see both of you and I want to slam your head into a wall until you see what I see. You're so blind! Are you going to hold his mistakes over his head for the rest of our lives? When will you let it go?"

The outburst took Odo aback. As long as he'd known Kejal, he never saw him express such anger straight at him before. And it hurt like knives stabbing into his torso.

"Do you think this is easy for me?" Odo met Kejal's burning brown eyes with his icy blue ones. "You aren't the one who went through it."

"He hurt you! I know, I understand! It feels awful and I wish I could take that pain away from you. But I can't. You're the only one with that power, mother. He didn't mean to hurt you. He didn't know he was hurting you. It's eating him alive, and you're just sitting there, watching it happen! Forgiving doesn't make everything okay, it just means you're willing to move past what happened and focus on healing." Kejal jumped off the swing. "Dammit, mother, sometimes you're too stubborn for your own good!"

"Kejal- "

"You won't understand until you sit by his bed and hold his hand while he is in pain."

"Let me finish."

"No."

Kejal crossed his arms. He shape shifted into a smooth black river stone at Odo's feet.

Odo scooped up the rock and carried it inside. For a single angry moment he considered hurling it at Doctor Mora's forehead. It wouldn't help the situation any.

What was that old saying again?

An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

He sat down in the chair by the oval window. The sand mandala fit right in with the décor of the house. He spent ages staring at it.

Kira's voice filtered out of the bedroom. "...so, how is the pain?"

Doctor Mora's answered. "To be honest...it's getting worse. I am not the type who admits to pain easily."

"That makes two of us."

Their voices dropped too soft to hear.

"Perhaps you're right." Odo cupped the rock in his hands. Just the way he had immediately after Kejal's birth. "I don't want him to suffer, either, but he is going to regardless of what we do. I'm not sure how to help or make it easier."

He placed the rock on the floor. It shape shifted into a humanoid again.

"Aleexa told me dying people with unresolved issues will suffer more pain than those who don't." Kejal sat on the footrest in front of Odo. "I'm not blaming you for father's pain, but this wall you have up around yourself isn't helping him either."

Odo sighed heavily. He took Kejal's hands in his own. They looked identical to his. "The fact that he raised you so well shows me how much he's changed over the years. He used to be so arrogant, so buried in his work."

"I know, but he was good to me, mother. He really was. He raised me the way he wished he could have raised you." Kejal smiled. He made a shushing motion at the sound of Kira's footsteps. Then he liquefied and oozed under her travel bag.

"He's resting now." Kira said as she emerged from the bedroom. She checked the clock. "I better go. My transport leaves in a little over an hour."

Nodding, Odo walked her to the door. "The tram is here."

Kira leaned into him, grasped two handfuls of his backside and squeezed. "I love you, husband."

Odo let his forehead touch hers. He didn't want her to go. "I love you too, wife."

They kissed and embraced. Odo wished he could smell her soft hair.

"Take care of Pol," she whispered in his ear. Then she reached for her travel bag.

Kejal dribbled out of the side pocket and took shape already hugging her. "Do you think I'm going to let you escape without a hug?"

"Ah! Kejal!" Kira laughed, giving him a good, strong squeeze. "Ooh, you sneak." She pinched his cheeks. "I need to get going. I'll be back in about three weeks. I told Pol not to wait for me."

Kejal's smile sobered. "I understand." He embraced her again. "Take care, mom."

Kira rubbed his back until he let go. She stepped out the door, climbed into the hover tram and was gone.

A tram carrying Aleexa pulled up scarcely two minutes after Kira's drove away.

"Help her." Odo said to Kejal. He left him there and ventured into Doctor Mora's bedroom, where he found Doctor Mora curled up on his right side.

The former scientist appeared even smaller in the bed than in the shower. His upturned shoulder shuddered.

In the living room, the sounds of Aleexa unpacking were punctuated by Kejal chattering to her about gardening.

"Doctor Mora?" Odo moved in front of him and sat on the seat that swung out from the bedside. "Are you in pain right now?"

Doctor Mora nodded without opening his eyes. His eyebrows knit. Suddenly, his face contorted and turned red. Tears poured over his nose ridges. The shaking of his shoulder accelerated.

"Don't leave me again, Odo," he sobbed. "Please. Please."

At a loss, Odo moved onto the edge of the bed and touched Doctor Mora's hand.

How many times had he been the one cowering, helpless and small inside his beaker? How many times did he suffer pain he couldn't escape?

"Please, don't leave me," whispered Doctor Mora. He sniffed. "I know how I made you feel...I'm going through it. It's no wonder you left...Odo, please, don't leave again! If this is how I must atone for it, I will...I will. Please, stay..."

Odo reluctantly climbed onto the bed and drew Doctor Mora to his chest. He didn't pull away when strong hands gripped his clothing.

This wasn't the terrifying scientist who unknowingly tormented him so many years ago. This was a broken, dying man.

If Odo believed in the Prophets, he might have called it divine retribution. Except, he didn't feel vindicated. Seeing Doctor Mora like this hurt.

For a split second, Odo considered leaving and taking a shuttle to Deep Space Nine. He couldn't stand to see this. But abandoning a sick man would be more heartless than his physically lacking a heart.

"I won't leave you," Odo said softly. "It's all right." He tucked Doctor Mora's head under his chin and scooted closer to him. "I'm right here. Shhh. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Odo held Doctor Mora while Aleexa changed his metorapan patch and dosed him with triptacederine. He helped him drink his takeo smoothie. By sunset, he'd settled into a restless slumber in which he sleep-talked to Leruu.

The house gradually grew silent and dark.

Odo extricated himself from Doctor Mora's bed and tip-toed out into the back yard. Cloudless skies always chased the darkness out of his mind. Being alone let him gather his scattered thoughts.

That night, it was below freezing outside. Odo hugged himself. He couldn't shiver like a humanoid. Instead, his willed his inner substance to thicken and circulate faster to maintain homeostasis.

Millions of stars glimmered in the clear sky. He watched a gibbous Jeraddo rise over the southeastern mountains. It encroached upon the Milky Way's central hub, which looked like a streak of sugar someone spilled and then tracked across a black carpet.

What was it about winter that made the sky feel so close?

He stepped past the property line to better see the moon. Wind stirred the deka tree, making it creak. A limb of frosty leaves brushed his back. The chill almost hurt.

Odo ignored the droopy branch. He walked further eastward, closed his eyes and told his body to change. Morphogenic enzymes flooded his substance, bringing forth a pleasure experienced only by shape shifters who morphed for the sheer joy of it.

He let his feet sink onto the ground and spread out. His elongating torso broadened. When he lifted his arms, they transformed into two massive limbs from which several drooping branches unfurled.

Suddenly, he sensed the wind ruffling his leaves. Instinct prompted him to fluff out his appendages, trying to capture the light of suns far too distant to warm him. All around, the universe went on into eternity, and only his strong roots stood between him and the void.

The vastness of everything left Odo awed. Trees really knew things!

"Mother?"

Odo stretched a branch towards the vibration. Something touched his trunk.

"You feel that, don't you? The night air, the sky, the stars...no, don't change back. Stay a tree."

A weight settled in the junction between his two largest limbs.

"Imagine turning into a planet full of trees like you. Heh, heh, Vokau told me it's great to have two eyes, but ten eyes see even more. Then she shape shifted into a ten-eyed squid from Karemma to prove it." Kejal patted the limb he was sitting on. "Can I tell you a secret, mother?"

Odo rustled a leaf. Kejal chuckled at him.

"My biggest dream is to be a world full of trees. I want to be a garden. I want to be the ground, the plants, the sky and the rain all at once. I want to become a place where people will appreciate how precious nature is." Kejal sighed wistfully, "I just want to be."

He jumped down, the vibration of his landing reaching Odo's roots.

A few minutes later, Odo sensed another deka tree forming scarcely ten feet away. Their roots intertwined underground.

They stayed that way for hours. Simply being.

A flicker of warmth rippled the horizon. The wind stopped. Everything held its breath in anticipation.

Odo's leaves sensed life. He turned them towards it. Golden light created a sweeping chord that resurrected the dormant world. Nature became music and he joined its song.

The simple joy of it rivaled giving birth to Kejal. Odo was in awe.

Now he understood Kejal's openness towards music and nature.

No, towards everything.

Together, the trees shrank into two humanoids silhouetted against the sun.

Kejal grinned, his brown eyes twinkling in the sunrise.

"Trees know," he said. "Now, you know, too."

Odo smiled back and extended his hand. Kejal accepted it. They made their way towards the house.

Aleexa greeted them at the door. She folded her arms against the cold and pretended to shoot them stern looks. "Well, where did you boys wander off to?"

"We communed with nature," said Kejal. "How is father doing?"

"He's resting. I'm giving him small doses of long-acting promethazine every twelve hours. It seems to do the trick. He ate alvasauce on toast and kept it down. I expect him to stop wanting food pretty soon." Aleexa moved out of the doorway. "Oh, get in here! We're letting the heat out! It's freezing out there."

Odo pushed Kejal through the door and closed it after stepping inside. He glanced nervously around the room. There was no delicate way to broach the question he wanted to ask.

"Aleexa, how will we know Doctor Mora is near death?" He focused briefly on Kejal. "You said there are signs when it is imminent. I think it's time we learned what they are."

Aleexa gestured to the couch, where they sat down together. "Everybody does it at their own pace, but the sequence of changes is almost always the same. I'll go step by step from where we are now. First off..."

.o

Days melted together like the Great Link, remembered only by the rising and setting of the sun.

Kejal climbed into bed with Mora and let morning sunlight pour through the open bedroom door.

"It's almost spring, father," he said.

Mora awoke and flashed a sleepy smile. His eyes were twinkling.

"I brought you a bowl of warm, chunky alvasauce sprinkled in kava." Kejal showed him the mushy red concoction. "Do you want it?"

"Mmhmm."

"Here, I'll sit you up a little." Kejal inclined the head of the bed until his father was comfortably in a sitting position. "Does that hurt your back at all?"

Mora adjusted his pillow. "Not enough to bother me." He felt underneath his bottom lip with his front teeth. "I need a shave."

Kejal handed him the spoon. "We'll do that after you try this."

Mora stared intently at the utensil in his hand. Finally, after a long moment, he said, "Kejal, help me."

"Oh." Kejal took the spoon. If he had a heart, he knew he'd feel it breaking at the sight of his father too weak to feed himself. He dipped the spoon into the alvasauce and lifted it to Mora's lips. "Here you go. It's not burning hot."

Mora had trouble swallowing the alvasauce, but eventually he did. He fell asleep with the second spoonful still in his mouth and it dribbled all down his chin.

Kejal wiped away the sticky mess with a cloth napkin. "Father? Wake up, you need to swallow that."

"Mmh." Mora stirred. He made chewing motions and his neck muscles worked several times.

Kejal offered more when the swallowing movements stopped.

Mora didn't react at first. Kejal slipped the spoon between his parted lips. That roused him to take the next bite. As soon as Kejal leaned back, Mora grimaced and coughed, splattering alvasauce on the napkin under his chin.

"Oops!" Kejal covered Mora's mouth to minimize the mess. "I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"No," Mora cleared his throat and laid back. "Done eating."

A few bites isn't going to nourish you.

"Do you want to try something else? How about Aleexa's soup?"

"No."

"Larish pie?"

"Kejal, I don't feel hungry."

Rather than question it, Kejal set the bowl aside and slipped into the bathroom for Mora's shaving supplies. Mora liked to shave the old-fashioned way using a straight razor, hot gel and water.

"It is, isn't it?" Mora mumbled. "Yes, darling...we'll watch a sunrise together soon, won't we? Oh, is the baby kicking? Let me feel."

Talking to her again... Kejal warmed the gel on the heating plate. Through the bathroom door, he saw Mora touch a nearby pillow as though feeling an unborn infant kick.

"Here we go." He walked back into the bedroom carrying the gel tube, a mirror, a small basin of water and a dry towel. "Is step-mother still here? I don't want to step on her foot by accident."

"She just left," Mora said matter-of-factly. "Could you replicate me a hot towel?"

"Of course."

Mora pressed the hot towel to his face. Kejal helped him apply shaving gel and steadied his hand when he brought the razor to his face.

"Ah, Kejal, this is important. Please shave my face for me after I die. I don't want to go to my grave looking like an old goat."

Everything in Kejal's chest contracted around itself. "I promise you'll look your best, father."

Two days later, Kejal had to shave Mora's face for him because he kept dozing off and dropping the razor. Afterward, Mora turned down a plate of orange slices imported from Earth, but he took two tiny sips of deka tea.

Aleexa gave him a triptacederine patch for a constant stream of pain medication. Despite it, Mora required steadily increasing bolus doses via hypospray to stay completely comfortable. He still experienced episodes of breakthrough pangs. They could be stopped, however it sometimes took several minutes for the medications to kick in. Mora commented once that pain had a time dilating effect, and a single second of it felt endless.

Watching his father writhe made Kejal want to flee the room, yet he couldn't leave.

Aleexa said the dying process can mirror the birth process...but this is awful! This is suffering!

"We've reached the hard part," Mora said. He hid his face behind one hand. "Kejal, you've been so helpful these past few days...I don't know what I would do without you."

Kejal gazed at the only father he knew. Mora looked so small among the pillows and blankets. The agony of the last three days added lines to his face that weren't there before. He couldn't bathe, walk, shave, eat, drink or get on the bedside commode without assistance. Just turning over nearly made him scream. Even his voice, which had always been deep and soothing, sounded breathy and thin.

Kejal's eyes glimmered. He turned his gaze away.

This is no way to live.

Mora moved his hand off his face and stared out the window. His eyebrows remained drawn in a perpetual frown.

Prophets, give me strength...please.

Kejal climbed onto the bed and laid his head on Mora's shoulder. He wanted to say this while his father was alert.

"Father?"

"Hm?" Mora peered at him. His ocean blue eyes were wet in the corners.

"Father, I need to tell you something."

"Then spit it out!" Mora snapped. "Oh, Kejal...I'm sorry...it's the pain..."

Kejal closed his eyes, unable to look at him and speak these words at the same time.

"If the pain is too much...if you think you need to get out of that body..." He forced the words past his lips, "then i-it's okay with me. Go to the Celestial Temple when you think the time is right. Don't suffer like this to protect me, father."

The pillow rustled. Kejal felt Mora take his hand. He heard him sniffling.

When he opened his eyes, he saw his father weeping.

"I want to go so badly." Mora's face contorted. "I pray for death every night, and it hasn't come yet. Leruu tells me I'll know when it is time, but I don't see how. The pain isn't anything like I expected. I'm ready now!"

"Father?" Kejal had never known Mora to actively wish for death, but he didn't let his terror drive him out of the room.

"Oh..." Mora wiped his eyes and composed himself. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk like that to y- "

"No, don't apologize. You're sick and in pain. You have every right to cry right now. I would cry with you if I could."

Mora blinked and groaned through another pang. "Kejal..."

The substance in Kejal's chest tightened like a ball. "I want you to feel better, father. You don't deserve to suffer."

"Ah, son..." Mora's eyelids fluttered. He rallied and patted Kejal's hand. "I'm so proud of you. You couldn't speak of this two months ago, and look at where you are now." He relaxed as the triptacederine kicked in, and his voice returned to its normal low pitch. "You're growing up, Kejal. You're truly growing up."

Kejal sneered. "Adulthood stinks."

"It does!" Mora snorted with laughter. "It sure does."

He actually fell asleep again mid-snicker, and his snorts became snores. Kejal reverted to his gelatinous state, slithered to the floor and regained his humanoid shape. He didn't realize Odo had entered until he finished reforming.

"Mother?"

"How is he?"

"The pain is getting worse." Kejal threw himself into Odo's arms.

Odo embraced him tightly. "You're taking wonderful care of him."

"It's the hardest thing I've ever done," said Kejal. He met his mother's eyes. "I gave him permission to die."

"Oh." Odo held him closer. He reached over and rubbed Mora's arm. "It's happening so fast now."

"I know." Kejal sighed. "Have you...?"

Odo shook his head. His face darkened in the dimness of the room.

"Do it soon, mother." Kejal whispered.

For the next two days, Mora didn't eat a single bite of solid food. He drank an entire mug of Aleexa's broth when Odo put the straw in his mouth for him. That was his only nutritional sustenance.

Hours became filled with pillows, hyposprays and patches.

Kejal lived for the brief times Mora reacted to outside stimuli. He convinced Odo to sit down and read the Shaarlek series out loud. Odo had a great voice for reading. He never got tired of doing it, much to Kejal's delight. Mora turned his face towards whichever side Odo chose to sit, and he outright smirked at mention of a Yridian getting swindled in the fourth novel.

Mora opened his eyes right at sunset. He held his arms out to Kejal. Kejal accepted the embrace without hesitation and felt a kiss pressed against his ear.

"Thank you." Mora whispered.

Kejal knew what it was for. He hid his face against Mora's neck. "You're welcome."

Then something changed literally overnight.

It started when Mora suddenly hurled off all his blankets. He grabbed at the air. Then he piled up every single small cushion within reach and mumbled ceaselessly to himself.

"Father, what are you doing?"

"I'm packing my supplies," Mora said.

Kejal leaned on the bed. "Why?"

"Moving...the second floor addition is complete and I have to transfer my equipment. It's a lot of work and I'm not finished yet."

"Oh." Kejal grasped the cushions and helped Mora lay down again. "I can take care of that for you."

He covered him with the blankets he'd thrown on the floor. Mora twitched more than usual in his sleep.

An hour later, he awoke, and the confusion started over.

"I need to reach Doctor Weld. Now!"

"Father?"

"My son is ill. He is dying. The morphogenic virus- he is infected! Those bastards in Starfleet are using my research to commit genocide! They didn't tell me...they- I trusted them. It's all my fault! Odo and Kejal may be dying, and I'm at fault!"

"Wait, what? No! I'm fine. I'm right h- "

"Blast it all, the induction didn't work. I need a biobed! He's in pain! Don't you see? He's in pain!"

"Fa- Doctor, it's all right. I will stabilize him."

"But I must hold his hand. He needs me at his side. He- "

"Shhh, you need to sleep. You're no good to him with no sleep. I'll tell you if anything, uh, changes."

"One hour. Get me in one hour."

"All right."

Exactly sixty minutes after Mora dozed off, he stirred. His eyes had a faraway glaze.

"He's gone."

"Hm?" Kejal took Mora's hand. "No, I didn't die...I'm right here."

"What are you talking about? I meant Odo. Odo is gone!"

"No! He's fine. Father- "

"You don't understand!" Tear streaks glistened on Mora's face. "I drove him away. I failed him...I- the Cardassians, they'll find him. He isn't prepared to be out there on his own. If the Cardassians get their hands on him- please, you have to help me. Tell Doctor Weld we need to find Odo!"

"Father!"

"He must be found! Please! I need to tell him I'm sorry. Please..."

"All right! All right, shhh. We will find him."

"We have to go now." Mora tried to get up. His eyes were wild. "I want to help."

Kejal caught Mora's shoulders and pushed him back down. "N-no, you should, uh, stay in case he comes back. Is that okay?"

"Fine...but hurry. It's storming." Mora picked violently at the fraying pocket on his nightshirt. "Thunder terrifies him."

"Okay, stay here. I'll find moth- I'll find Odo for you."

Then, almost in a panic, Kejal bolted into the living room. "Mother! Mother, come quick!"

"What?" Odo poked his head in from the garden. "What is it?"

"It's father. He's very confused and said I had to find you." Kejal grabbed Odo's hand. He practically dragged him into the bedroom. "Seeing you should calm him down."

By they time they got there, Mora had slipped back into restless unconsciousness. The quilt was thrown off one side of the bed and the sheets were on the other.

Odo shot Kejal a glare.

"But he...he was just..."

"Call me when he really needs me." Odo growled. He left the room in a huff.

Kejal grabbed the discarded blankets. They were wet. So was Mora's nightshirt. Alarmed, he called Aleexa into the room.

"It's fine. I'll take care of it. Pol, sweetie, we're going to get you cleaned up." Aleexa swapped out the soiled linens for dry ones. She did everything without removing Mora from the bed.

Kejal prepared to pull a clean nightshirt over his father's head.

Aleexa stopped him. "Wait, don't redress him yet. I need to wash him off."

Kejal helped Aleexa give Mora a sponge bath. He saw more of his father than he ever wanted to. Finally, she reached into the closet for something he hadn't seen her bring in.

"Oh, Prophets..." Kejal groaned. "Diapers?"

"Briefs." Aleexa corrected him. "I call them briefs. It's more dignified."

At least they looked like typical jockey style undergarments. He wouldn't have realized the difference without seeing the package.

"Kejal, I know this is embarrassing, but listen. It's extremely important to keep him clean." She set a pack of large swabs on the table beside a jar of disinfectant salve. "Every time you change his briefs, dip a swab in this, pull his foreskin back and wipe the tip of his penis. You won't hurt him if you're gentle. Make sure your hands are clean before you start."

"Why?" he asked.

"It's very delicate skin, and his urine is getting more acidic as his remaining kidney fails. This will prevent infection and irritation. Trust me, Kejal, having itchy or sore genitals is not fun." She straightened. "Oh! One more thing. Point him down towards his feet before you close up the briefs, or there's a chance they might leak at the waistband."

Kejal wasn't keen on looking at or handling someone else's genitals, however he knew it was necessary.

Aleexa showed Kejal how to apply and remove the briefs before they dressed Mora in a clean nightshirt. Mora never moved throughout the process. He just laid there, sleeping with his mouth hanging open.

"Check the briefs every few hours. The stripe on the front turns blue when he needs changing. Don't be surprised if you see brown or purple urine. His right kidney is just about done."

"What about solid wastes?"

"I wouldn't expect him to. Food has to go in first and he hasn't eaten much. All you have to do is wipe his rear end with a warm wet washcloth. Call me if you have any doubts. I'm not squeamish about taking care of that."

"I see. Um, okay, I-I can do that." Kejal pursed his lips. "How much longer?"

Aleexa touched his arm. "We're down to days. I'd estimate he has five at the most. I'm amazed he is still with us now."

"Father is strong." Kejal closed his eyes. "I think he's waiting for everyone to be in the house again."

"It wouldn't surprise me."

Kejal stared down at the red and gold quilt on the bed. "Aleexa?"

"Hm?"

He smoothed a wrinkle out of Mora's sleeve. "Father took care of me when I fell seriously ill. I almost died, and he was there. He barely left my side. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough for him."

"Aw. You're doing fine, Kejal. You really are."

At Kejal's sad smile, Aleexa let go of his arm and slipped out.

"Is something wrong?" Odo's voice filtered into the room.

"Not really. I'll tell you about it in the kitchen." Aleexa replied.

Their quiet talking faded from the doorway.

Kejal changed Mora when he needed it. Somehow, he performed the task without shying away from his private parts.

Mora did not wake up at all during the afternoon. That night, his breathing was labored and irregular. Kejal spent every moment he could lying in bed next to him. He listened intently for the congested exhalations Aleexa said meant imminent death.

Early in the morning, Odo encouraged Kejal to regenerate.

"His color is good. I don't think he'll die tonight."

"I don't want him to wake up alone."

"He'll be all right." Odo kissed Kejal above the ear. "You're stretching yourself too thin, Kejal. You need to rest, or you won't be in any shape to help him later."

"I'll regenerate if you alert me when anything changes."

"Fine." Odo sat by Mora's bed and took his hand. "I'll sit with him. Go regenerate."