.o
.o
.o
.o
15. Life Is...
.o
.o
.o
.o
Morning became afternoon. Mora sat comfortably by the oval window, watching the happenings in the house and out back. Kejal checked on him often. Aleexa made sure his pain stayed under control. Odo brought a seed pod inside and set it on the table by the flower Kejal gave him earlier.
Leruu walked out of his bedroom. Her pregnant belly gave her an adorable waddle. She leaned over and kissed his nose. "I have everything ready for you." She led his hand to her gravid midsection. The baby kicked. Her green eyes twinkled.
"Take me with you," Mora pleaded.
"Soon, my love." Leruu tapped on his nose.
Mora took a deep breath and stroked her belly. "How am I going to find you?"
"I'll come and point the way." She let her forehead touch his and giggled. It sounded like birds on a spring morning. "The rest will be up to you. Just follow your heart."
He closed his eyes. When he opened them, Leruu was gone.
As the day wore on, Mora had trouble breathing. His back hurt despite the pain medicine. Dozing let him escape it. Nobody disturbed him while he napped.
When the shadows outside grew long, Mora heard a voice calling his name.
"Doctor Mora? Doctor Mora."
Mora lifted his head. He smiled sleepily. "Sorry, Odo, I keep falling asleep."
Odo shrugged his shoulders. "It's all right. I let you sleep, but it's almost time to dose you again. Do you want to go back to bed?"
"Yes, please."
Mora could tell he was overdue for his medication. A gnawing ache filled his back and abdomen. His face twisted. He gripped the grab poles by the chair, but no matter how hard he tried he could not pull himself up. Each attempt sent stronger pains shooting through his spine.
Odo's eyes widened. "I'll go get- "
"No!" Mora grunted.
"Doctor Mora..."
"I don't want anyone here...ex-except you." He sank back into the chair to rest. "I'm going to walk to my bed like a man."
The lines in Odo's face deepened.
"All right, Doctor Mora." He extended his arms and wiggled his fingers. "Take my hands."
Visions from the past filled Mora's mind. He chuckled despite his misery and reached out. Odo easily pulled him to his feet and slipped around to his back.
"I'll be right behind you," Odo said softly, his strong hands grasping Mora's upper arms. "Whenever you're ready."
Tears blurred Mora's sight when he forced himself to stand up straight. The sensations in his back and abdomen eclipsed the discomfort from his arthritic knee. His heart palpitated like it wanted to burst through his ribcage. Spots danced before his eyes. An involuntary moan escaped his throat. He cut it off and spoke instead. One word for each step.
"M-my father- walked- t-to his deathbed...like a- like a proper man. He kissed mother, hugged me and- he stagg- augh!- staggered into the...b-bedroom. We f-found him dead an hour...later. Heart attack...he knew it was coming. My father taught me how to die with- dignity, and...ungh- dammit! -I'm g-going to do this with...dignity!"
At his bedroom door, Mora shook Odo's hands off and limped the last three steps to his bed unassisted. He stumbled, falling against the side of the mattress. His pained grimace became a sly grin.
"See, Odo...I made it!"
And he laughed.
Delfeya syndrome, you might take my life, but you don't have my dignity. I took it back from you, you wretched disease! I've won!
Mora let Odo help him into bed. Walking took everything out of him. He no longer had the energy to vocalize the burning discomfort spreading up his torso like wildfire. His sides heaved with every breath he took, but he didn't care.
"I'll get your pain medicine. Here, take this first." Odo grabbed the oxygen mask off the shelf by the bed and placed it over Mora's nose and mouth. Then he gave him a dose of triptacederine. "Easy. Breathe. It will stop in a moment."
His circulation was so poor now. The medicine took almost three minutes to turn the supernova into a campfire. To him, it felt like an eternity.
"More," Mora coughed. Ooh, that really hurt.
"But the dosage chart for your body mass says- "
"It's safe. Please..."
The hypospray hissed again, and the discomfort finally shrank to a manageable level. He relaxed, sighing. When medicated, he didn't feel pain as long as he refrained from bending at the waist.
"Now I know how you felt when you saw me in labor." Odo said. He replicated a cool wash cloth and pressed it to Mora's clammy brow. Oddly, the coldness helped him breathe deeper.
"Ah...yes..." Mora sucked air into his tired lungs. "You were so young, Odo." The mask muffled his voice. He took it off and held it against his chest. "So young when you came to me in a tiny jar..."
Odo tightened his jaw. "We can't change the past, Doctor Mora."
"Please, listen to me for once! Odo, I don't have time, I have to say this now...I was such a fool." Mora shook his head. "I didn't take your feelings into account. I didn't listen to you."
"You did everything right with Kejal."
"Kejal isn't you. Raising him doesn't erase my failure with you, Odo. I know this sort of talk still makes you uncomfortable, but I am going to say this anyway." Mora's eyes watered, and his voice cracked when he said, "You needed a father, and I treated you like a specimen. Everyone told me not to grow attached to you. I tried not to, but you were so vulnerable to the world, so eager to learn. You didn't belong in that lab."
"Doctor Mo- "
"Odo, please...let me finish..."
Odo closed his mouth. Mora found himself fixed in his clear blue eyes. He gazed into them and spoke from his heart.
"You needed someone to guide you, and I didn't want it to be one of those damn Cardassians. Those parties...they were mistakes. All of them. I wanted to show off my research. I should have taken you away in secret, and I was too afraid of the repercussions. That's still no excuse. I was a coward. I was too prideful. I put my needs before yours. I was a fool. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Odo, I'm only asking to be heard. I'm sorry. For the shocks, for the acid, for my arrogance, for everything...I'm sorry."
Frowning, Odo straightened to his full, imposing height. He turned his head and stared out the window. His profile looked so natural now, so far evolved from where he began.
Finally, he let his shoulders slump.
"Doctor Mora...I...I hear you. Don't get me wrong...but I must confess that I, too, have been avoiding this conversation." Odo stared at his feet. His reflection superimposed itself over the first evening stars. "I read a story from Earth once, while I was still living on Deep Space Nine. It's the novelized version of a film many centuries old. I didn't understand it until I saw how close Kejal is to you. I'm no Talaxian, but it's a story that must be told rather than summarized. Are you up to hearing it?"
Mora replaced the oxygen mask on his face and struggled for breath. Sometimes, he had to flex his jaw to get the air down his throat.
"I'm...listening, Odo," he said.
Odo began to weave the tale.
"An old wood carver named Geppetto wanted a son, so he wished upon a star. A blue fairy came from the star and brought one of his marionettes to life as a little wooden boy named Pinocchio. Geppetto was overjoyed to have a son at last, and all Pinocchio wanted was to become a real child."
He ducked his head again, and did not pull away when Mora grasped his hand.
"Pinocchio tried to be a good son to his father, but he was led astray by a pair of con artists. They tricked him into working for a puppeteer who made him entertain an audience for money. Pinocchio realized he didn't like it and tried to leave, but the puppeteer locked him up. He told Pinocchio that once he outlived his usefulness, he would use him as firewood. Can you imagine how terrifying that sounds to a being made of wood?"
"And a child, no less," Mora gasped. He saw where this was going, but he wanted to hear the whole story. "Go on..."
"The blue fairy found Pinocchio in the puppeteer's clutches. He made the mistake of lying to her about his capture, and it set back his dream to become a complete child. She said he would become real once he proved himself brave, truthful and unselfish...or something to that effect. Then she helped him escape.
"But once again, before he reached home, Pinocchio was drawn astray by the wrong crowd. He followed his new 'friends' to a magical island where delinquent children mutated into donkeys. The donkeys were put to work in a mine. Pinocchio watched one of his friends change before his eyes. Then he sprouted donkey ears and a tail, and it frightened him into escaping the island.
"When he returned to his house, he discovered Geppetto went out to sea in search of him, and during his search he was swallowed by a whale. Pinocchio rushed fearlessly to the ocean to rescue his father. He let the same whale swallow him, and against all logic he found Geppetto in the whale's stomach. They somehow made the whale sneeze to escape its stomach, and it was angry to lose its meal. So it gave chase.
"Geppetto was too weak to keep swimming. He told Pinocchio to swim for shore. Pinocchio refused to leave his father, and he dragged him into an ocean cave too small for the whale to follow. The whale slammed into the rocks, apparently killing itself. The impact threw Geppetto and Pinocchio out the other side. Geppetto was briefly knocked out...and regained consciousness to find Pinocchio dead."
Mora trembled and squeezed Odo's hand. "And...?"
"Doctor Mora, all Pinocchio wanted was to be a flesh and blood child like his peers." Odo whispered. He flinched, closing his eyes. "And the fairy saw his courageous, unselfish act and how truly he loved his father...and she granted his wish to belong. Pinocchio was resurrected as a child. A real child."
"Odo?" Mora gripped Odo's fingers. He commanded his bedside lamp to turn on, and it filled the room with a dim white glow. Taking off the oxygen mask, he said, "Odo, look at me."
"I-I...can't..."
Mora lifted his head off the pillow. "Odo..."
"Don't you see? Doctor Mora, I have always been an outsider looking in! Everywhere! Even among my own people! All my life, I've only wanted one thing, and I can't attain it! I give, and I give, and I- " His voice rose higher and cracked. "It's all I wanted...to belong. To be the people around me. To laugh like them, to cry like them, to be loved like them. I never thought it possible until I met Nerys. But I still longed to have a parent like everyone around me. I didn't want Kejal to go through that pain, and I knew you would know how to raise him. And you did it well."
Suddenly, he leaned forward and something impossible happened to his face. "But I see you two, and as ridiculous as this sounds, I want that, too."
Mora reached up. He touched Odo's cheek. The droplet clinging to his lower eyelid morphed back into Changeling cytoplasm the second it lost contact with his skin. Another trickled free and merged back into his substance when it reached his chin.
He was witnessing an evolution. An opening. Here. Now.
Odo's features began to contort. He looked at his hands in a mix of terror and confusion.
Using the strength he could still muster, Mora pulled himself forward and truly embraced Odo for the first time in over thirty years.
Odo's hands pushed at his shoulders.
"Something's wrong. I'm- " Two more teardrops spilled free. " -crying?"
He looked at Mora, his blue eyes huge. The same expression he wore after being bullied by Klingon children and giving up Kejal. No matter how his face changed, his eyes were still the most emotive part of him. And now they expressed the deep, unspoken agony he kept buried for so long.
"Yes." Mora brought him closer again. "You're crying."
"But I...w-why?"
"Because you just learned how," he replied. "You held these tears inside all your life. It's time to let them go. Let them fall, Odo. Just...let the tears fall."
At that, Odo closed his eyes. He hid his face and wept like a child on Mora's shoulder. Mora's nightshirt remained dry, but he didn't see Odo's tears as any less real than his own.
"I wanted- to be- real to you. The way you and Kejal...he is so close to you, and I never knew how to reach out." Odo choked on his words. "Now it's too late."
"No. No, Odo, it isn't." Mora said. It hurt, seeing the fullness of the pain he put Odo through, yet he was simultaneously grateful for witnessing its release. "We have right now. Here, lay down with me."
Odo climbed onto the soft mattress. His nose was running. That, too, dissolved back into his substance. He didn't appear to notice.
Mora braved the agony of moving again and settled on his side. He clutched Odo more protectively, erasing the last rift between them.
"You were always real to me, and now you're proving it to yourself. I'm so sorry for the times I caused you to believe otherwise. I made so many mistakes with you, and I can't take them back. But if I could, Odo...I would." He pursed his lips. "After you left, there was never a day that I didn't think about you."
"This is incredibly painful. Me. You. All of this."
"I know." Mora's eyes overflowed when Odo reciprocated his embrace.
"I'm at fault, too. I took everything out on you instead of talking to you. I don't regret leaving." He slowly regained his composure. "But I'm sorry for the way I did it."
"Shhh. That was then. You're here now." Mora smoothed Odo's hair with his palm. "And this, Odo," he jiggled Odo's shoulder, "this is healing. And we're achieving it together. Just like we used to."
"Together." Odo agreed. "But I think I'm a little old for this," he added without making any attempts to get up.
Mora barked in laughter and patted Odo's back. "Nonsense. Sons are never too old to need their fathers."
They were quiet for several minutes. Mora used the lull to focus on breathing.
Finally, Odo murmured, "Doctor Mora?"
"Hm?"
Odo's skin began to shimmer. He melted onto Mora's chest in his natural gelatinous state. Mora swallowed over the hot lump in his throat and ran his fingers through Odo's substance. Powerful images bombarded his mind like holographic movies on fast forward.
Cities rebuilding after a catastrophic war.
Colliding galaxies reaching a new equilibrium.
Sunrises following violent storms.
A tiny child racing into his father's arms.
"Oh..."
Tears welled in Mora's eyes. The pain in his back lessened as if someone reached inside his body and shrank the inflammation. He pressed his other hand to his mouth.
Odo reformed in the same position he was in before. "Are you all right?"
Mora sniffled and nodded. He dabbed the tears off his face with a fingertip still covered in Odo's substance. Odo touched his hand and absorbed the stray pieces of himself.
"Now that part of you is part of me." He whispered. "Any more regrets?"
"No. Not anymore." Mora said. He felt Odo embrace him again. His head sank back onto the pillow and his grip on consciousness slipped. He dreamed of Kejal coming into the room. Immediately upon waking again, he peered expectantly at the door.
"Oh, hugging!" Kejal appeared in the doorway. "Can I join?"
"Of course!" Mora pressed the control button that widened the left side of the bed and beckoned Kejal over. "Climb on behind me."
Kejal's arms joined Odo's. In seconds all three of them held each other.
"Now that you're both here..." Mora paused and took a few breaths off the oxygen mask before setting it aside again. Who kept sucking the air out of the room? "I'm surrounded by the best part of my life. I...I want to thank you two for everything. Both of you."
He glanced out the window. The stars glowing in the evening darkness weren't from Bajor's sky. They were too numerous, too close and too bright. He blinked, but the view did not change. When he looked straight ahead, he saw orange grass instead of his bedroom.
Kejal lifted his head. "You're welcome." Then he gave a little nudge. "Tell mother what you told me this morning."
"I'm going to die tonight." Mora said matter-of-factly.
Odo looked away. "I...had a feeling."
"Mm. When you look back on my death, remember me telling you this. Today was a good day." Mora's eyes crinkled. "A fantastic day."
"Doctor Mora..."
"Odo, it's just like my favorite lullaby. 'Mission is over, mission is done. I will miss you, children of the sun. Now it's time to go away...'" He found Kejal's hand and squeezed it. Then he kissed the top of Odo's head. "'Goodbye, goodbye, Milky Way.'"
Odo sat up halfway, his eyes wide. "You were the lights-out singer?"
Mora lifted both eyebrows. That memory took him way back.
"You heard me?"
"Yes...I never realized that was you. I, um..." Odo sighed. "I found it comforting."
"Oh..." Mora mused before taking another puff from the oxygen mask. He laid his head down on the pillow again, his gaze fixed on sky. "I'm glad it gave you something happy to remember."
Kejal pressed himself closer. So did Odo.
"I am at peace now." Mora murmured. He looked between the two Changelings, truly his sons in everything but genetic material, and grinned. "If anyone asks, tell them I died a happy man."
The strange grass kept tickling his ear. Outside the window, the stars became clearer as his eyes grew heavier. He found comfort in their gentle glow.
Kejal gripped his shoulder tighter. "I love you, father."
"I love you, too." Mora replied. He faced Odo. "And you. I love you."
"I know." Odo's mouth trembled. He pressed his lips into a line and whispered the next words. "I...love you, too."
Mora's eyes watered. He beamed in delight. Odo mirrored his expression. Finally, after all these years, they had a true connection.
"Thank you." He squeezed Odo's hand the same instant he felt Kejal rub his upper arm.
Everything fell into place at just the right time. His work was done.
Mora focused on his prayer shrine and mentally let go of his life.
"Do you need anything?" asked Kejal.
"No." Mora forced another breath. "My sons are beside me." He smiled again with tears in his eyes. "I have everything I need."
His senses blanked out. For a moment, he floated above the foot of his own bed, watching Odo and Kejal embrace him. Then he inhaled and fell back into his body. Pink spots clouded his vision as though he stood up too fast for his blood pressure to compensate. He couldn't stop gasping.
"Easy." Odo said, "We're right here."
Another breath, and he saw the roof of his house from above the deka tree. Once more, he realized he was in bed, not floating in the sky.
Mora noticed someone putting the oxygen mask on his face. He pushed it back off since it didn't help anymore. Somebody brushed their palm over his forehead. Another hand massaged his fingers. A cool washcloth kept his lips moist.
"Mother, I think he's going to sleep." Kejal kissed him behind the ear. "You can sleep, father...we won't leave the room. I promise."
He tried to smile, yet he couldn't spare the energy to respond anymore. Breathing became his sole focus. Each gasp drove him towards a gigantic unknown.
Odo moved off the bed. Mora felt him take his hand.
"Doctor Mora, if you're comfortable, squeeze my hand once."
Mora managed to close his fingers around Odo's. He stroked his knuckles with his thumb until he grew too tired to keep it up.
Every time he took a breath, he left his body and came back. His eyesight dimmed until he only saw pink "static" against blackness.
"It's all right. We won't leave your side." Odo whispered. Vaguely, Mora saw his face contort. "I'm here."
"You were a great father to me." Kejal pressed against his back. "Never forget that."
Mora grasped Odo's hand again. He found Kejal's and squeezed it too.
His eyes closed on their own. The blackness became more absolute and time lost all meaning.
A voice reached him from far away. "Hey, it's Nerys. I'll take care of Odo and Kejal. You don't have to worry about them. I don't want to keep you waiting if you're ready to leave us, so I'll go. But first..." She spoke in a whisper, "Odo forgives you. I don't know if he told you that, but I want you to know."
Kira's presence faded away.
Mora sensed a familiar membrane surrounding him. His breathing hitched. Just getting air into his lungs required so much strength. He could think of nothing else. While he struggled for air, the membrane made full contact with his body in slow, painless increments. He kept seeing shimmers, like he'd stepped into a transporter beam, except its center appeared brighter than its outer fringes. The glow made loud whooshing sounds. His sense of balance disappeared. He swore he was moving forward at light speed. Mora watched the brilliant central speck grow with a scientist's sense of detachment. Suddenly, he slammed into the end of the "tunnel" and realized he could see again- clearer than he ever had before.
Aleexa's finger moved away from his left eye. He saw the foot of his bed. Aleexa whispered a heartfelt farewell before leaving the room.
Odo and Kejal sat on either side of him. They talked softly to each other about how he'd been there for them. Their voices were music. Light shone through their skin. Like stained glass windows lit by candles inside.
Life...he saw their life and the strength of their love for him and each other.
"I know what he's waiting for."
Kejal scooted closer. Mora sensed arms around his shoulders. His awareness stretched to encompass his whole body. He blinked and looked into Kejal's eyes, marveling at the glow they gave off. Everything created its own light. Even his own skin. Their combined essence brightened the room.
Kejal made a wisecrack about getting lost. Then he whispered reassurances that Leruu would be there soon. Mora let Kejal know he understood him before turning to Odo. He wasn't sure if he said goodbye out loud or not. Odo reacted by coming closer and shedding a tear. His blue eyes held an entire universe. By the Prophets, he was still so young.
A flicker drew Mora's attention to the foot of his bed. Leruu stood there, smiling. She shimmered beautifully and her pregnant belly glowed like a sun.
Leruu rubbed her swollen abdomen. "Pol, it's time."
Mora raised his eyebrows. He wanted the others to know she arrived, but his voice no longer worked.
He pointed to her.
"Is she here? I told you she'd come!" Kejal understood through faith, though not sight. "Go to her, father!"
Leruu winked and waddled away from the bed. Mora pushed himself up on his elbows. He tried desperately to follow her.
"You have to leave your body behind. You don't need it anymore." Kejal held him down. "Your work here is finished. We'll be fine. You can go now. It's okay. You can go."
"Everything is in order." Odo spoke with difficulty. "You've done all you can. It's time to rest. I won't leave your side. I promise."
Mora's physical body had no strength left. He turned inward, breathing and waiting. His senses disconnected one by one. Sight, smell, taste, touch...until only hearing remained. The dark numbness wasn't frightening at all because he was safe in the arms of people he loved.
He didn't resist the membrane contracting around him.
Odo's voice continued talking quietly in his ear
Tighter, tighter...
And then, with a final, vicious squeeze, Mora's prison ruptured!
The need for oxygen disappeared. His heart began to fibrillate. He could feel the vibration of it quivering. What a strange sensation.
Kejal said something to Odo. Odo responded in a hoarse whisper. They weren't sure whether he'd left yet.
Kejal, Odo, he thought, I hope this is enough of a sign for you.
Mora shed his body. It just slipped off like an old coat, leaving him to wonder what all the fuss was about. Below him, Odo and Kejal embraced his darkened mortal shell. Their combined light made his bedside lamp appear dim by comparison.
Odo sat up. Kejal blinked. There was minor confusion between them. They'd seen the sign, but only Kejal recognized it. He glanced upward, just to the left of Mora's actual position, and said to have a safe journey.
Because he knew.
Mora smiled and drifted through the oval window in the living room. His passage stirred the deka tree's branches. He cleared the tree and shot eastward without looking back. When he reached the horizon of everything he knew, he picked up speed and kept going, trusting his love for Leruu to guide him to her side.
The finality of everything struck as soon as Bajor shrank from his sight. Its host star, a yellow G-class, shone like a newly-lit flame in the cold, silent void.
The Bajoran solar system was a mere dot among many dusting the black vastness.
Mora soared through time and space until the G-class star he kept dreaming about came into focus.
All at once he found himself standing face to face with Leruu. She'd taken her hair down, and it fell in blonde waves about her shoulders.
"Relax, my love," Mora kissed Leruu's forehead. "I'm here now."
"Pol," Leruu gasped. "Pol, the baby is moving."
Mora calmly helped her lay back against a slanted, mossy rock jutting through the orange grass. He eased the hem of her white birthing shift past her knees and rolled up his own white sleeves.
"Awake, child."
"We await you with love," gasped Leruu.
"And welcome you into the world," Mora finished.
Leruu's chest heaved, but her face remained peaceful.
New light glimmered when the baby crowned. The amniotic sac that protected it for so long still covered its head like a veil.
"That's it, Leruu. Relax, let it happen."
The baby's head emerged and twisted to one side.
"Pol..." Leruu's toes gripped at the grass. Her face flushed. She threw her head back, moaning as though making love. "Oh...oh, Prophets, Pol, my love...Pol!"
Suddenly, the baby slipped effortlessly into Mora's waiting hands. It was still in the caul, looking at him.
Mora peeled away the amniotic membrane. The baby gulped its first raspy breath and its dull glow became a brilliant light.
Tears poured down Mora's cheeks. "Leruu...we have a son!" He knelt beside his beautiful wife, happier than he'd ever been in his life. The infant in his arms let out a strong wail.
"A son." Leruu panted. She wrapped her arms around the tiny, pink newborn. "Olan. We have our Olan."
Olan stopped crying at the sound of Leruu's voice. His green eyes opened wide, taking in the world around him.
Mora kissed Olan's tiny nose ridges. Then he kissed Leruu's.
They huddled together, unmindful of the blood and vernix staining their clothes.
"He has your eyes!" Mora exclaimed in delight. "And his hair matches yours, but look, that's my cleft chin."
"He has your lips, too." Leruu nuzzled him. "And your hands."
"I can't believe you made that."
"We made this."
They chuckled. Mora placed his thumb on Olan's miniature palm, and those tiny fingers held on tight. So soft, so warm, so precious. Everything was there. Ten fingers with impossibly small fingernails and ten perfectly stubby toes. Mora gazed skyward to thank the Prophets.
A huge gray-green crescent moon rose in the east. It took up a sixth of the sky! And above it, the Milky Way had two disarrayed central hubs. Massive, colorful lobes of star birth hugged the eastern horizon.
"We're finally here," he whispered. "You brought me to the planet."
"You weren't ready until now," Leruu replied, hugging Olan close. "This solar system, your namesake, survived the galactic collision."
"I'm five billion years away now?" Mora raised both eyebrows. "I can't believe it." He grinned at his newborn son. "Olan, can you believe it?"
"Do you know what you're looking at, Pol?" Leruu blew warm air against his ear. "You silly scientists, you never see the forest for the trees, do you?"
"Leruu..."
"Pol..." She mimicked his playful tone.
Mora felt the ground ripple beneath him and his breath caught in his throat. He touched the soft grass. His gaze shifted skyward.
"Yes." Leruu spoke tenderly. "This is their evolution. Their lives always revolved around yours, Pol. Just as yours revolved around mine. You're part of the star, and they watch over it as you watched over them."
"How did- "
She covered his mouth, her quiet laughter like music in his ears. "Let's not unravel every mystery yet, my sweet scientist."
"They...did this for me?"
"Yes."
Mora chewed his bottom lip.
"I promised Kejal that I wouldn't forget him...or Odo."
"And you won't." Leruu nudged him with her elbow. "Will you stay and watch the sunrise?"
"Yes, my darling." He kissed Olan's brow. Then he kissed Leruu's lips. "I'm ready to stay." He kissed her again. "I love you."
She grinned, her green eyes sparkling. "I love you, too."
They sat on the grass together. Mora cradling Olan, and Leruu embracing him from behind.
Dawn's first light came, but the stars and moon never dimmed. The burning white sun rose into the hazy Milky Way, turning the heavens blue.
Mora watched the filamentary structure of the universe spread across the sky. Every particle, every galaxy...even the afterglow cast by the cosmic microwave background shimmered in the vastness. He saw molecules congeal into radiant DNA chains, and he traced their atoms backwards to the big bang. He watched entire worlds rise and fall. He witnessed beginnings and endings and everything in between.
Everywhere he looked he saw energy creating life.
His pagh was energy.
Energy fueled life.
Life was...
Suddenly, the wormhole spiraled open before him. Deep in its center, the eternal moment of creation emitted a luminescence greater than a billion quasars. He saw it earlier in Odo and Kejal, and he noticed it coming from Leruu, Olan and himself.
Everything in existence came from that point.
Mora gazed deeply into the scientific and the divine. The truth flooded his mind.
Living beings longed to touch the brilliance that gave them life, never realizing its glow already suffused their genes.
Love is creation. I AM love, and love never dies.
Mora Pol laughed joyfully at the revelation as he, his wife and his son became the light.
.o
Doctor Mora's eyes were closed and his mouth slack. Ever since he lost consciousness, his exhalations sounded like someone slurping the last drops of a beverage through a straw. It started quietly and grew louder as time progressed.
Odo hadn't moved from his bedside in nearly four hours. He sat there in the dark, holding his hand. Doctor Mora's short, round fingers were swollen and cold. No amount of massaging them restored their fading warmth, but that didn't stop Odo from trying.
Earlier, Aleexa inclined the head of the bed and made creative use of the abundant pillows to make Doctor Mora more comfortable. A semicircular one supported his head, a large one kept his feet from pressing into the footboard and a small foam cushion propped up his arthritic left knee. He moaned a little at being repositioned.
"Oops, did that hurt? Shhh, Pol. I'm sorry." Aleexa spoke to him the same way she did while he was still awake. "I made it easier for you to breathe. That's all." She straightened the blankets and smoothed them down.
Odo cleared his throat. "How much longer?"
"He's moving through this stage pretty fast. At this rate, he won't make it to morning."
"Heh..." Odo looked across the bed at her. "He said he was going to die tonight. He seemed so sure of it."
"Sometimes, people just know. Where is Kejal?"
"I don't know. He shape shifted about ten minutes ago. He heard what you said."
Aleexa nodded and padded from the room. She checked back every fifteen minutes. Her presence was never intrusive. Odo liked that.
"Odo?"
Odo faced the familiar voice. "Nerys."
She moved closer to the bed. Her eyes watered at the sound of Doctor Mora's raspy exhalations. "Tekeny made that noise in the last hour of his life."
"Doctor Mora has been like this for four hours."
"Everyone dies differently." Kira sat down on the edge of the bed. "Pol said he doesn't want me to watch him die, so, out of respect, I'm not going to stay. Is that okay with you?"
"It's fine."
Kira smiled sadly and stroked Doctor Mora's left hand. "Hey, it's Nerys." She paused as if waiting for a response. "I'll take care of Odo and Kejal. You don't have to worry about them." Tears welled in her eyes. "I don't want to keep you waiting if you're ready to leave us, so I'll go. But first..." She leaned close to him and whispered something too quietly to hear.
Odo reached for Kira's hand. She grasped and squeezed. Their eyes met in the darkness. Then she tip-toed out, her steps silent like a shadow.
Two hours later, Doctor Mora smacked his lips and sputtered a few times. The first change in his breathing since the rattling noise started.
Odo unbuttoned the scientist's white nightshirt and applied a fresh triptacederine patch. A dose via hypospray followed.
The frown lines in Doctor Mora's brow relaxed. Everything about him seemed so fragile now. Odo picked up his hand and resumed rubbing it. His throat tightened at the memories washing through him.
Hours ago, when he shed his first tears, he finally experienced the paternal love he sought. It had always been there, and he spent decades letting his resentment act as a blindfold to it. No language could express the wonder of feeling truly safe in Doctor Mora's presence. The hands that once tormented him in ignorance brought wisdom, peace and healing.
Odo lifted one of those hands towards his lips and tenderly kissed it. Blessing it with silent forgiveness.
Doctor Mora's breath hitched again. He stopped completely for nearly two minutes. Then his limbs twitched and he resumed as though the pause never happened.
Frowning, Odo straightened. "Light, twenty-five percent."
He let his eyesight adjust to the dim glow cast by the spherical bedside lamp.
A knitted green afghan lay over the red and gold quilt keeping Doctor Mora warm. Propped up the way he was, he resembled a marionette held in place by strings. His half-closed eyes stared into nothing. Ghostly pallor was sweeping over his skin. His lips and fingers had a blue tinge. The way his mouth hung open gave his face an unnaturally thin appearance. He kept making gulping motions like a fish out of water. Every few breaths, he frowned and groaned. Was the rattling in his chest causing discomfort after all?
"Doctor Mora?" Odo shook his mentor's shoulder. "Doctor Mora, can you hear me? Are you in pain?"
Nothing. No response at all.
Odo frowned and pinged Aleexa's combadge. "I think Doctor Mora needs help. I dosed him with his medication, but he is still in distress."
"Sit tight. I'll be right in."
Moments later, Aleexa padded into the room.
"It's Aleexa. I'm going to do a quick exam, all right? No, Odo, you don't have to move. I can do it from here. Keep holding his hand."
She checked the pulse in Doctor Mora's wrist, lifted the blankets to peek at his feet and lightly brushed her finger across his eyelashes. Each action was performed with utmost gentleness. Her ministrations generated no reaction.
After the exam, she said, "This is it. He's going."
Odo leaned forward. "How can you tell?"
"His radial pulse is almost gone and his legs are mottling. He has minutes. Kejal? Are you here? Sweetheart, you need to come out now. Your father needs you."
The green afghan glistened, dribbled onto the floor and shifted into a humanoid shape.
Odo stared at Doctor Mora in disbelief. Kejal studied his odd facial contortions.
"Are you sure he isn't in pain? He keeps making faces."
"That's a reflex." Aleexa kept her voice low. "Don't be alarmed if his arms and legs pull inward or shake- did you see his hand move? That's normal."
Kejal nodded and petted Doctor Mora's hair. "Why is he moaning like that?"
Odo wished Kejal would stop asking questions!
"His vocal cords are relaxed and they vibrate as the air passes over them. That's a good thing. It means he's not suffering." Aleexa said softly. "You can still speak to him if you wish. He can hear you."
"Can he feel us touching him?" asked Kejal.
"I believe so."
Odo doubted Doctor Mora had any awareness of anything, but for Kejal's sake he kept that thought to himself.
Kejal grasped Doctor Mora's left hand. "We're here, father."
Aleexa smiled tenderly at that. She patted Doctor Mora's feet.
"Pol, this is the moment you've been preparing for. You're doing just fine. It's all right to pass on when you feel ready." Her voice trembled. "Everyone in this house loves you. May the Prophets welcome you home."
She smoothed the blankets around his frail form and slipped out of the room.
Kejal kept petting Doctor Mora's hand. Other than that, he didn't move at all.
"I remember...he held me in his arms when I was sick with the morphogenic virus. He hardly ate or slept. He read to me, prayed over me and wouldn't let me give up. I'm alive because of him, and he told me I made his life worth living again."
Odo smiled wryly and studied Doctor Mora's wrist. The blood vessels under his skin created purple blotches all up his arm. Unsettled, he pulled the sleeve of his nightshirt down.
"Once, just after I mastered my humanoid shape, he broke a Cardassian's jaw on my behalf."
Kejal's eyes widened. "Why?"
"The Cardassians wanted to vivisect me, and Doctor Mora wouldn't have it. I was too angry at him back then to see the lengths he went to for my sake, but..." Odo sighed heavily. "...he saw my first shape shift. He heard my first words. He witnessed my first steps. He saw most of my firsts."
"Mine, too," whispered Kejal. "Now, we're here for him."
Doctor Mora's fingers were wholly blue. Rubbing the warmth back into them became a futile effort, but Odo kept doing it anyway. It made him feel less helpless.
They sat quietly, watching his chest rise and fall. The pauses between breaths stretched longer. There was an oddly familiar rhythm to the rapid inhales and slow, rattling exhales. Odo likened it to his own labor experience. The waves came quicker and stronger after he relaxed into the process, which culminated in the ecstasy of Kejal's emergence.
Now, he was watching it all happening in reverse. It pained him in ways he never imagined. Why did he wait to say what needed saying? Why couldn't they talk while they had time? Why did he let his bitterness stand in the way for so long?
Kejal moved to the edge of the bed.
"I know what he's waiting for."
"What?" Odo stirred from his reverie. "Kejal, don't reposition him again."
"I'm not. Just watch." Kejal bent and gave Doctor Mora a hug. "He needs his hug. Nobody leaves without getting one, remember?"
A shiver ran through Doctor Mora's body. Odo saw him blink and look at Kejal. Did that really happen, or was he imagining it?
"Hey, father...you're going the wrong way. Are you lost?" Kejal tried to smile, but his lips quivered instead. "It's okay. Step-mother will be here soon to guide you."
Doctor Mora blinked slowly. His left hand patted Kejal's knee. He moved his eyes to focus on Odo. Something profound and intangible reached out through his gaze.
"Hug him, mother," whispered Kejal.
Odo climbed onto the bed without question. His arms overlapped Kejal's.
Tears spilled down Doctor Mora's cheeks. Odo brushed them away and shed one of his own in solidarity.
Because, now, he could.
Their eyes met again. No words were needed.
Finally, Doctor Mora's attention focused just above the foot of his bed. His eyebrows went up and his eyes reflected a light not present in the room. He uncurled his right index finger to point towards his feet.
"Is she here? I told you she'd come!" Kejal's face practically lit up with hope. "Go to her, father!"
Doctor Mora's eyes widened. He gurgled and tried to sit up. Odo and Kejal stopped him.
"You have to leave your body behind. You don't need it anymore." Kejal glanced at Odo and his brown eyes held a strength reminiscent of Kira. "Your work here is finished. We'll be fine. You can go now. It's okay. You can go."
He met Odo's gaze and nodded towards the ailing man, mouthing, "Tell him."
"Everything is in order." Odo stammered, completely at a loss for what to say. He never was good at things like this. "You've done all you can. It's time to rest. I won't leave your side. I promise."
Doctor Mora stared intently at the foot of his bed. His eyes drifted halfway shut and his lips went from blue to white to grayish-purple in a span of seconds. Odo found the sudden changes alarming, yet he couldn't look away.
"There...now you're going the right way." Kejal murmured. He kissed Doctor Mora's cheek and stroked his jaw. "You'll be in the light soon, father."
Odo watched the remaining color drain out of Doctor Mora's skin. His breathing slowed to a shallow breath every thirty seconds. The way his tongue and throat flexed looked so mechanical. The awful, congested rasps of his exhalations grew even louder.
Sadness stung in Odo's eyes. He wanted to flee from that awful sound. Knowing his mentor's suffering neared its end became his only solace. He clung tightly to his single-minded wish for a painless passing.
"I'm still by your side, Doctor Mora, and I'm not going anywhere. Never again," he said. "If you can still hear me, listen...I'm right here. You have nothing to worry about. Relax...just relax."
Doctor Mora's ears, fingers and eyelids went purple.
"Everything is fine." Odo spoke softly. "It's time to rest now. Relax. Just relax."
He rubbed his thumb in circles around Doctor Mora's palm. Hoping to comfort him in the face of his impending oblivion.
"It's all right. Your discomfort will end soon. Very soon now..."
Another quick inhale followed by a long exhale.
"Let it happen, Doctor Mora. Don't think. Relax and let it happen..."
Doctor Mora's neck muscles clenched and went slack.
"No. No, don't struggle. Please, just relax. I'm right here..."
His jaw twitched.
"...That's it. Relax. You're doing fine..."
The room became silent.
"...It's all right. I'm here. I'm right here..."
"Mother?"
Odo focused on his son.
Kejal's eyes glistened in the dim lamplight. "He's not breathing anymore."
Time hiccupped the same way it did for Kejal's birth. Nothing moved or made a sound. There was no more struggle for air. How could such a profound moment be so natural and unremarkable? The weight of it crashed into Odo like a planet-killing asteroid. He straightened and stared at Doctor Mora's face.
"Doctor Mora?" Odo blinked in disbelief. "Is he...?"
"Not yet." Kejal said. He rubbed Doctor Mora's chest. "He said I'll know when his pagh leaves. Brain death takes three minutes without oxygen. Maybe he's waiting for that. Let's wait three minutes, mother. Please." He closed his fists. "Three minutes. I'm counting on you, father."
Odo released Doctor Mora's hand and grasped Kejal's instead.
Three minutes won't make any difference, he thought morosely. There won't be a grand sign from beyond. It's all false hope and everyone is deluding themselves. His suffering is over, and that is all that matters.
Kejal hid his face against Doctor Mora's neck. Odo mirrored his son's pose. They stayed that way in silence, both embracing the person who shaped their lives.
Several moments later, Odo felt a chill run down his back. He noticed a tiny stain on the pillow.
"Kejal, is his left ear bleeding?"
"Huh? No." Kejal gasped, wide-eyed. "He did it! His pagh is free!" He hugged Doctor Mora closer, looking up towards the ceiling. "I knew you could do it, father! It's okay now. Everything is okay. Have a safe journey."
"Kejal?"
"He's on his way to the Celestial Temple. He's gone now. Oh, father...I love you so much." Kejal nuzzled Doctor Mora's shoulder. He stopped short. "Um, mother? His nose..."
Odo straightened. "What now?"
Blood oozed out of Doctor Mora's nostrils. More filled his mouth to overflowing. Dark yellowish-red rivulets dribbled onto his white nightshirt.
The peaceful moment shattered into something hellish.
"Doctor Mora!" Odo recoiled in horror.
Kejal grabbed four towels but they weren't enough to contain the mess. He snatched the bowl meant for catching vomit and bent Doctor Mora's head over it.
Odo heard the ping-ping of blood hitting the metal bowl. He grimaced. "I'm calling Aleexa."
"Mother, no. I've got it." Kejal said. Nothing about his body language expressed fear. How could he be so calm at a time like this?
Odo's inner substance turned over. He gripped the altar of the prayer shrine. His fingernails cut deeply into the wood as he clung on for dear life.
Kejal started mumbling more prayers...a bunch of useless incantations directed at wormhole aliens who didn't care! Hearing it almost made Odo knock over the prayer mandala in rage, but respect for Kejal's faith stopped his hand. He asked Doctor Mora to teach Kejal about the Prophets and he had no right to tear those beliefs down, no matter how unrealistic they were.
Merciful gods indeed.
When Odo regained control of himself, he faced the bed again.
Four stained towels surrounded Doctor Mora's pallid, crimson-streaked face. His pupils were dilated like black holes.
The bleeding finally stopped. Kejal set the bowl aside and began systemically removing the soiled towels.
"What happened?" Odo asked.
"I don't know, but I'm going to clean him up. He wouldn't want anyone seeing him like this." Kejal replied. He asked the replicator for a basin of soapy water, cradled Doctor Mora's head in the crook of his arm and tenderly washed his face. Afterward, he dried Doctor Mora off and set aside the washbasin.
"There." He got rid of the cushion propping up Doctor Mora's arthritic knee and repositioned his head on the semicircular pillow. Every motion was performed with utter love and reverence. "I miss you already." He adjusted the mattress to lay flat and smoothed Doctor Mora's rumpled hair. "Mother, I think his pagh went right past you."
The statement dug at Odo's rawest wound. Moments ago, the body on the bed was a brilliant scientist renowned throughout Bajor and Starfleet for discovering the first Changeling. Now...he'd become a corpse destined to decompose.
"No..." His eyes stayed bolted to the bloodstained nightshirt. Something cold opened deep in his chest. He wanted a re-do without the bleeding. "This is wrong."
"Mother? What's the matter?"
"Everything." Odo choked out. The rising panic wouldn't abate. He tapped his combadge. "Aleexa!"
"I'm right here." Aleexa stopped in the doorway at the sight of Doctor Mora. "Oh, bless his heart." She finished tying her robe and checked her tricorder. The slight shake of her head made it official.
"That wasn't peaceful!" Odo exploded over the emptiness in his chest. He pointed at Doctor Mora's face. "He drowned in his own blood! You said he wasn't suffering!"
"Mother!" Kejal gasped. "And you tell me I'm immature."
"Kejal, I'll handle this." Aleexa came further into the room. "Odo..."
Odo clenched his teeth and held up a hand to halt her.
"Odo, listen to me. Did the blood look foamy?"
"No. It was dark in color."
"Then it wasn't from his lungs." Aleexa scanned Doctor Mora with her tricorder and showed him the screen. "See? His lungs are clear. Odo, look."
Odo stared at the image of two lifeless lungs bearing no abnormalities other than mucus in the bronchial tubes. The heart nestled between them stood still with all its valves pulled wide open. He saw similar images a few times when scanning Bajoran murder victims. It let him estimate the time of death. Regardless of temperature or the kill method, Bajoran hearts stayed relaxed for twelve hours before they contracted into a tight ball.
But this was Doctor Mora's heart, and it wasn't beating anymore.
"Then where did it come from?" Odo asked. "And why was there so much? Look at this!" He gestured at the bowl and bloody linens piled up on the bedside table.
Aleexa's eyes glistened. She ran another, more detailed tricorder scan. "It came from his esophagus. I've never seen this happen before myself, but it isn't unheard of with Delfeya syndrome. He was already gone when he bled, Odo."
"How can you be sure?"
"Bleeding of this sort only happens after the heart stops." Her voice remained calm. "I will let you see my full report when I chart it."
"Don't leave anything out." Odo said brusquely.
She touched his hand. This time, he let her.
"He loved you," she whispered.
"I know. W-we talked...I know." Odo mimicked a swallow. "I-I'm sorry for my outburst." He sat down again, trembling and embarrassed. "Please, I didn't mean to doubt you. You did nothing wrong. I thought- no, no excuses. I'm sorry."
"Shhh, Odo. Everybody reacts differently. I had no idea he would bleed like that. Please remember, it happened after he died and he never felt it. He didn't suffer." Aleexa gave Odo's shoulder a squeeze. "Do you need to talk about what you saw?"
"No." Odo groused.
"All right. When you're ready." Aleexa said without taking offense at his tone. She got rid of the bloodied objects on the bedside table and gently approached Kejal. "Kejal?"
"I'm okay. Father promised to let me know his pagh escaped, and he kept it!" Kejal dropped his voice to a whisper. "He did it, Aleexa. He's flying now. No more pain."
"No more pain." Aleexa agreed. She patted his arm and kissed the side of his head. "Looks like you're still saying goodbye. I'll leave you to it unless you want me to help with- you don't? That's fine. Call me if you need any assistance."
"Thank you," said Kejal.
Aleexa sniffed and bent to kiss Doctor Mora's forehead. She did a remarkable job of holding her emotions in check. "Now you're at peace, sweetheart. Good night."
At the door, she offered a respectful nod and keyed the code to close it.
Odo stared at the cooling body lying in the bed. The cold, empty space in his chest grew heavier, making his whole being feel numb. How long before it swallowed him up?
What is the use of life if it disappears as soon as someone expires? Hmph, I suppose it doesn't matter to Doctor Mora anymore.
"Mother? Are you okay?"
"Hm? I was just- thinking." Odo passed his palm over Doctor Mora's eyelids. They wouldn't stay shut. His cheeks felt waxy and cool. "His body needs to be tended to."
"In a little while." Kejal didn't budge an inch. "I don't want to disturb him yet. Look how peaceful he is."
"Peaceful...yes, I suppose."
Odo took Doctor Mora's hand again. He thought he was ready to witness this. He'd prepared himself to move on. He never expected pain.
"I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do." Odo whispered, rubbing the former scientist's limp, purple fingers in a last-ditch attempt to warm them up. When no answer came, he solemnly laid Doctor Mora's hand down on his chest.
Now it felt real.
Kejal shifted Doctor Mora's hand into a more relaxed position. How could he lay there and embrace his lifeless corpse like that? How could he smile?
"He was in our arms." Kejal said softly. "He felt safe enough to die in our arms."
"Don't say things like that."
"Why, mother? It's true. Come, lay with him a little while."
"Later...after he's cleaned up." Because his nightshirt is still bloody, and that's all I can see right now.
Someday, Kira would take her last breath.
Odo frowned at his thoughts. He shook them away. Doing was the only way to stop his mind from twisting itself in knots.
"Where is his old lab tunic?"
"In the closet behind the winter robe."
Odo found the garments in a bag. He hung them on the hook next to the closet door. He turned and grasped Kejal's shoulder. "Let me know if you need me."
Kejal nodded once. "Thank you, mother."
Odo quietly exited the room. The void in his chest refused to go away.
Kira stood outside the door. She looked disheveled and groggy, having awoken only moments before.
"I was coming in to check on you. Aleexa told me Pol just died. Are you all right?"
"Nerys, I'm fi- no. No, I'm not."
"Odo?" She was suddenly wide awake. "What happened?"
Odo shook his head and walked right past her. He headed out the front door. His legs kept moving until he stood upon the cold ground next to Leruu's burial arch.
"Odo? Odo!" Kira followed him. "Talk to me, Odo!"
"I can't."
Cloaked by darkness, Odo formed a shovel out of his substance and let it bite into soft, grassy dirt. He dug and dug. All his rage went into the shovel, but the hole never matched the emptiness in his chest.
"Odo!" Kira shouted. "Dammit, stop digging!"
"Let me do this!" Odo snarled back. He returned to the task at hand. Some of the dirt he tossed aside fell back into the grave, dirtying his face and hair. His legs were covered in soil. He didn't care.
Kira jumped into the hole and wrenched the shovel out of his hands. It turned back into Changeling cytoplasm. They both watched it merge with his shoulder.
"Talk to me," she said.
Sighing, Odo wrapped his arms around Kira and hugged her close to his chest. Her heartbeat brought sensation to the numb part of his being.
Jeraddo rode high in the sky, offering enough light to see Kira's face so clearly. He saw the march of time on her skin and in her hair.
Every second counted down her lifetime. Each beat of her heart was precious.
"I watched him die, Nerys."
Kira rubbed his back and kissed his cheek. "Your being there meant a lot to him. Was Kejal in the room, too?"
"Yes. He's still with him. I think he wants to be alone for awhile."
"That's fine." Her breath tingled across his neck. She pressed closer to him for warmth. "I'm sorry, Odo."
Odo closed his eyes. Life was so fragile and short. How much of hers did he waste by not saying what he should have said? If what his Gaia counterpart said was true...the alternative seemed unthinkable.
He brushed his lips against the soft shell of her ear, whispering, "I love you, Nerys."
Kira's grip on his arms tightened. "I love you too, Odo."
He kissed the top of her head. His breath, or what passed for it, hitched in his throat.
"Let's get out of this grave." Odo formed himself into a ladder. Kira climbed up and lifted him onto the ground next to her, where he resumed his humanoid shape. They sat together, their feet dangling into the hole.
She made him look at her. "Something's bothering you. I'm not leaving until you tell me what it is."
Odo gave in and told her exactly what he saw. The horror of the blood. He doubted Doctor Mora's final seconds were peaceful, regardless of what Kejal or Aleexa said.
"...and I wish I hadn't witnessed it. I can't think of him without seeing his face covered in blood. It's going to haunt me forever." He grimaced. "I've seen less gruesome murders."
"I know. You're in shock right now." Kira wrapped her arms around him. When she spoke, her voice cracked. "But each time that ugly memory comes up in your mind, find a good one to counter it."
"Does it help you?"
She smiled a little. "Every time."
"Then..." He sighed, rubbing her hands with his thumbs. "Five minutes before the end, he looked at us. He just...looked at us like he was saying goodbye with his eyes. Then he stared at the foot of his bed and pointed at something. Kejal is convinced he saw Leruu waiting to take him away. He closed his eyes and died right after that."
"Maybe he did see his wife." Kira pressed her hand against his chest. "There you go, Odo. Make that your last memory of him."
He cringed. "I wish it was that easy."
"Give it time," she whispered. "The hard part is over for Pol."
"But not for me." Odo replied.
Kira's eyes flickered at his words. She leaned into his embrace without another word.
Finally, Odo stood and offered her his hand.
"You should go back to bed," he said. "Tomorrow is going to be a rough day."
Kira let him help her up. "Will you be okay?"
"I...need time."
When they started towards the house again, Odo saw the light still on in the bedroom. In its glow, Kejal gently tended to Doctor Mora's dead body.
.o
Humanoids gave their babies a bath shortly after birth. Kejal saw no difference in bathing his father's remains after death.
When he shifted Mora's body to scrub his back, he felt comforted at hearing no moans of pain. He washed Mora's hair, cleaned the blood residue out of his nose and mouth and trimmed his nails. Then he slicked his hair back using styling gel and took great care in shaving off his stubble.
When Kejal finished, he kissed Mora's right ear and covered his nude body with a clean blanket. He faced the prayer mandala to thank the Prophets for granting his father a peaceful passing.
The door opened just as he completed his prayer. Without looking, he knew it was his mother. He practically threw himself into Odo's arms.
Odo cupped the back of Kejal's head. His voice sounded wooden. "You did a nice job. He looks good."
"He's naked under the blanket. I thought you wanted to dress him."
Odo nodded. "I'll need your help." He glanced at the chosen attire. "He never was very stylish, was he?"
They chuckled despite the ache. Getting Mora dressed was a simple matter. Odo and Kejal managed it without assistance. Afterward, Kejal placed a rolled-up towel under Mora's chin to keep his mouth in a dignified state of closure.
Then they stood together and studied what remained of the man who centered their lives.
Mora's face was relaxed in an inquisitive expression. The colors of his lab tunic actually made the pallor in his skin less shocking.
Kejal held his head and groaned. Odo bodily led him into the living room without a word. The vase became his regeneration container, and he enjoyed a blissful hour of nothingness.
Faint light on the horizon hinted at morning's nearness when Kejal returned to his humanoid form. He almost prepared a mug of tea until he remembered it wasn't necessary anymore.
In Mora's bedroom, Odo stared off into space. Eventually, he covered his face with one hand, and Kejal swore he heard muffled sobbing.
It's my imagination.
Kejal checked the PADD Aleexa filled out after Mora died. His official cause of death was multi-organ failure as a result of Delfeya syndrome. When his heart ceased to beat, all the blood in his body flowed into the varicose veins lining his esophagus. They couldn't handle the sudden influx and burst, pouring his entire blood supply into his gullet. Bajoran stomachs contracted at death, a reaction to the lack of oxygen, so the blood had nowhere to go but up.
There was no explanation for the bleeding in Mora's right ear. Something ruptured his eardrum from inside, but Aleexa had no idea how it occurred.
Kejal checked the date and shut the PADD off. He toyed with the chain on the earring Mora gave him. Knowing his father's pagh was safe brought immense comfort.
His eyes searched the myriad of holograms lined up underneath the oval window. He saw his birth, his mother smiling and his father in full health. A personal favorite was Mora and Ambassador Spock exchanging a Vulcan salute. Odo and Kira's wedding hologram stood in the center next to Mora's and Leruu's.
Every chair, every wall...everything carried echoes from the past. More than anything, Kejal loved seeing Mora laugh. Especially when he laughed hard, like he did less than twenty-six hours ago. The way his face crinkled up in mirth was unforgettable.
So many memories.
"The morning after my death, you will watch the sunrise from the oval window just like we used to. You will see the most beautiful dawn of your life and realize life goes on. I want you to smile for me when that morning comes."
Kejal looked up. A glowing line marked the misty east. He sat down on the floor near the oval window.
Brilliant colors heralded morning's arrival. Kejal's brown eyes shimmered with reflections of sunlight bursting over the horizon. Like a tree, he saw the sun as a sign of life.
Something stirred the dust motes floating in the air. Kejal reached as if to embrace the light itself. The sun climbed higher, its brilliance sliding down his body. He didn't try to hold on when its glow moved slowly off his outstretched fingertips.
Kejal folded his hands in his lap.
"Goodbye, father," he murmured, smiling. "You were right."
"Kejal?"
He startled. "Mother...I didn't hear you come out here."
"I didn't want to be heard." Odo said. He seated himself on the rug.
Kejal scooted over into his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. He wanted to be held. Odo silently pulled him closer.
"Kejal...you saw the same thing I did." He inhaled through his nose and asked, "Do you think he felt pain at the end?"
Sighing, Kejal closed his eyes. "What did you experience while giving birth to me, mother?"
"You already know."
"Tell me anyway."
Odo frowned at the window. His eyelashes looked unusually damp. "Everything went white, and I felt the purest love I have ever experienced in my life. And then you were there, in my lap...and when you formed your face to look at me, I forgot all about the discomfort leading to your birth."
Without hesitating, Kejal said, "Father experienced the same thing when he died."
"He bled from his esophagus. Blood usually entails pain."
Kejal looked right into his mother's eyes. They were large and pleading for meaning. He wasn't surprised by Odo seeing Mora's death as total extinction.
But he hoped to change that.
"The blood in his nose and mouth came from his esophagus, yes. Aleexa doesn't know what caused his ear to bleed. Something ruptured his eardrum from the inside."
"So?" Odo growled.
"I think I know what caused it." Kejal leaned forward. "Mother, humanoids often bleed when a baby passes through their birth canal, and that usually happens after the amniotic membrane ruptures."
Something in Odo's face changed.
"Yesterday, father told me he wouldn't see another sunrise. He knew exactly when he was going to die. Do you know why?" Kejal saw the opening and kept talking. "His biological son was due forty-seven years ago today."
At that, Odo pursed his lips. He blinked rapidly, his eyes glistening, and touched the earring on Kejal's right ear. His whole body trembled. Then he looked at his hands and began to laugh. He clutched Kejal in a crushing embrace, his entire frame shaking.
Odo was laughing and...crying?
Kejal pulled him close. He kissed his cheek and rubbed his back, letting him experience whatever emotions coursed through him without judgment.
"I was so afraid to witness the end," Kejal said. "Father told me I would be ready when his time came, and I was. He prepared me every step of the way once you made me realize it was inevitable. Seeing him die was...mother, this will sound strange, but it was beautiful. All his pain and sickness ended at his last breath. I can't think about it with sadness. Why should I when he is hugging wife and son like this right now?"
Odo ruffled Kejal's hair and immediately smoothed it back down. His voice quivered. "It's amazing how we both saw the same thing and drew such opposite conclusions. All I wanted was for his last moment to be peaceful, and it didn't look peaceful to me. I worked cases on less gruesome murder scenes...so I always equated blood with pain. I felt as if I let him down."
Kejal gripped Odo's shoulders. "You held him in your arms when he took his last breath. You didn't fail him. You gave him what he wanted. You stayed by his side. He died happy because of you. Not me, mother. You."
The clock on the wall beeped to mark the hour.
"Kejal..."
"Hm?"
Odo closed his eyes and his form lost cohesion. He beckoned through the link. Kejal relaxed into it without question. In a few seconds they became one giant puddle on the living room floor with Kejal's earring floating in the middle.
Between them, a single, bittersweet emotion flowed with all the strength of a tsunami.
Hope.