A/N: Happy anniversary everyone!..er, I know it's a little early but I'm sure you have no complaints XD!!!!!
Genius
"What are you doing?"
Tifa glances over her shoulder from the couch, grinning up at me.
"Not much," she says, slyly closing the magazine in her lap.
I narrow my eyes, leaning over the back of the couch, "What is that?"
"Don't look! You can't see it!" Tifa squeals, clutching the magazine to her chest.
Yeah, like that's going to stop me.
I try to grab it, "What is it?"
"No! Cloud, stop it. Stop Cloud."
I sigh, leaning on the back of the couch, "Just tell me what it is."
She flushes, looking off to the side, "It's a wedding magazine."
I narrow my eyes again, "So why do you have to hide it?"
"Because Cloud, I've circled some of the dresses I like, and I don't want you to see what dresses I like."
"Because they're so expensive?"
She slaps my arm with the magazine, "No, because it's bad luck for the groom to see the dress."
I thought the bride had to be in the dress...
"Can't you just let it be a surprise?" she pouts.
Damnit...the pout. Must...resist...
Crap I can't.
I sigh, straightening, "Fine."
"Good man," Tifa grins, folding the magazine beneath her arm and standing.
"Can you do me a favor?" she asks, poking my chest.
"What?" I ask.
"Could you go check on Denzel and Marlene? They need to do their homework...I'm going to go get in the shower."
I nod my head, "I'll open the bar for you, too."
"Well, aren't you just the gentleman? Thanks," she grins, kissing me once before heading up the steps.
I follow behind her, going into Denzel and Marlene's room. Marlene is sitting on her bed over some papers and books, and Denzel is at the window.
"What are you two doing?" I ask.
Marlene looks up, grinning, "We're doing our homework...well, Denzel is procrastinating. I'm doing my homework, though."
"Denz?" I ask, not even having to elaborate.
"Fine, fine," he grumbles, turning to sit on his bed.
"Thanks," I say, keeping my eyes on them as I take a step backwards.
Marlene glances up, "Cloud! Watch out!"
I glance down, spotting Marlene's dollhouse in my path. I step over it, prepared to be successful in my endeavors...but I forgot...I'm Cloud and the world hates me.
It seems as if Denzel needs a new place for his skateboard, instead of right behind Marlene's bloody dollhouse.
My foot lands for about three seconds on the skateboard, and I feel myself about to pitch backwards, but I can't do that cause I'll land on Marlene's dollhouse and that'll be tragic; therefore, I have to throw my weight forward, and I go down, Denzel's skateboard shooting out from beneath my foot like a missile.
There's a crash, and the another crash as I fall forward on my face. Like literally, right on my chin. Ouch.
"Oh mah gosh! Cloud are you okay?" Marlene puts her hands on her knees and gazes down at me.
Does it look like I'm okay?
"Ew you're bleeding!" Marlene squeals, rearing back.
"Dude! My skateboard put a hole in the wall! Sweet!"
"Denzel!" Marlene yells, "He's bleeding. Ew! EW!"
"Calm down Marlene," Denzel says, heading towards us, "Hey, you okay Cloud?"
I'm fine...except for my pride. That's a little bruised.
"Dude, your chin is like, flooding with blood. It looks so cool."
And my chin, apparently.
I put a hand to my chin, feeling the blood on my hand, before standing slowly.
"Finish your homework," I grunt, moving out of the room.
I hold my hand to my chin as I move into Tifa's...our room, heh. Tifa comes rushing out of the bathroom with a scanty towel wrapped around her body.
Score; see, this is what I'm talking about.
"What happened?" she asks, eyeing my hand on my chin.
I take my hand off and she winces, "I fell."
"I'd say so," Tifa frowns, grabbing my clean hand and pulling me into the bathroom.
I wash off my face, and Tifa rummages through the cabinets, before holding a band-aid out to me.
Whoa...I'm not putting a band-aid on my chin, "No."
Tifa sighs, putting a hand on her hip, "Cloud, at least until it stops bleeding. Then you can take it off."
Dammit.
I sigh as she reaches up and puts the band-aid on my chin. My chin...dammit. That's embarrassing.
I wrap my arms around her as she throws the package away, and she squirms in my hold.
"You're bleeding," she says, twisting in my arms.
"You put a band-aid on it," I say, and she frowns.
"I need a shower."
"And..."
"Cloud."
I lean down, kissing her softly; she kisses me back. Hell yah she can't resist my kisses cause I'm good like that.
And all she's got on is this towel...
She giggles against my lips when I tug at the knot; not much farther now.
"Whoa..."
Dammit!
I break off quickly, Tifa gasping and clutching her towel around her, "Denzel, what is it?"
Denzel cackles, "Dude, look at your chin."
Tifa grins, pushing me back out of the bathroom, "It is kinda funny, isn't it?"
Denzel nods his head, laughing.
"I'll go open the bar," I grumble, pushing past Denzel.
I get downstairs, open the bar, and decide to just wash dishes. Seems monotonous enough.
The door opens, but I don't look up; I'm going to hide my chin.
"I need to talk to you," I glance up at the voice...dammit.
Yuffie.
I narrow my eyes, scrubbing the inside of the glass I'm holding.
"Why?"
"Where's Tifa?" Yuffie squeals, "I've been calling and calling and she won't answer her damn phone!"
I stare at her, "Tifa's in the shower."
Yuffie suddenly blinks, staring at my face, "What happened?"
Dammit, she noticed.
"...I fell..."
"Why'd ya fall?" Yuffie asks, leaning on the bar.
Keep up idiot, "I slipped..."
"But why?!"
Because I'm gravity's bitch and gravity was like, "Hey bitch! Get down here!" That's why!
I glare at Yuffie, my eye's narrowing, "Did you want something?"
"Yes! I told you I wanted to talk to Tifa, but she's in the shower so I can't!" she yells, tossing her arms up in frustration.
I stare at her, rubbing on the glass, and she stares back at me, breathing heavily.
"Well, aren't you going to ask me?"
"Ask you what?"
"Why I'm so distressed!" she screeches, "I need womanly advice and the only damn woman I really know is Tifa and she's in the shower! Geeze, Cloud, haven't you been listening at all?"
"What about Shera?"
"Oh she's corrupted," Yuffie leans on the bar, defeated, "She's married to Cid of all people...and she's married! And there's only one thing I hate almost as much as I hate marriage and that is weddings, and she made me attend a wedding and wear a dress! So no, I cannot talk to Shera."
I pick up another glass to wash, just staring at her.
"Just ask me! Please! I need to rant!"
Dammit...what do I do? If I don't ask her, she's going to keep nagging me...but I'm afraid if I ask her it'll never stop... I don't know if I want to know what's wrong or what has made her this distressed.
Dammit, screw you curiosity, "What, Yuffie?"
"Reno hit on me!" she screeches.
My eyes go wide and I drop the glass.
It bounces on the counter, and I scramble to right it and catch it.
"What?" I hiss.
Yuffie's eyes are wide, her fingers clutching the air desperately, "YES! He hit on me!"
I stare at her, "How?"
"He hit on me!"
I understand that! Tell me what happened idiot! How did he hit on you?!
"H-he-he saw me at the movie theater, kay? So I'm all like, listen pal, what's up? Cos I don't really care about Reno, I mean, he's Reno, and he knows not to hit on me cos I'm Yuffie, and that's just how one and one goes together and he hit on me."
You saw him at the movies...now what?
But really, is it that shocking? I mean, Reno...well, he's a man-whore.
"But...Reno...always..."
"I know he flirts with anything that has two legs and a pair of breasts but I don't!"
"Don't what?" I frown.
"Have breasts! They're tiny! Look at these things!" she shouts, pointing at her chest, "I'm like a freaking 'A'. Hell, I'm not even an A! I'm a bloody 'barely A'! I don't even need a bra!"
Dude, where did the 'Reno hit on me' crap go? How did we get to talking about her bra size? I don't care about her chest, or lack there of!
"What happened?"
"He hit on me! He said...flirty things!"
"...is this a bad thing?"
"Yes! It's bad cos he's Reno for pity's sake! Re-e-e-no!"
Yeah, I got that much...I guess that's a good point. I mean, it is Reno...I don't want Yuffie to date Reno...that would be a little too close to home for me.
"So what did you do?" I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me again, which is never a good thing when Yuffie is concerned.
Yuffie looks at me incredulously, "Well I called him ShinRa scum and I punched him on the nose of course! Anybody would've done the same thing!"
She did...what?! Go Yuffie! You've done something right for once!
"You punched him?" I ask dubiously.
"Yes! Don't you believe me? I freaking punched him on the nose!" she yells.
She suddenly puts her elbows on the counter, and buries her hands in her hair in desperation and she groans.
Something is not right.
"Uh...Yuffie?"
"Why did I punch him?" she moans.
Wait...wasn't this a good thing? Weren't we celebrating this a moment ago?
"What?"
Yuffie's head shoots up, "I said, why did I punch him?"
Because he's Reno and we all hate him?
"Uh..."
"I mean," Yuffie sighs, turning sideways before glancing at me, "He's the first guy that's hit on me in ages, and I mean ages, Cloud, like you wouldn't believe."
Yeah, but... "He's Reno..."
"Exactly! Have you looked at Reno lately?"
What? "No..."
"He's hawt stuff! Suddenly Reno is desirable!"
Why? Since when is drunken, chain smoking, sloppy Reno any type of desirable? I'm not even a woman and I understand this much.
"That doesn't make any sense," I say.
"I know," Yuffie's eyes flash expressively, "That's why I'm so damn confused! He shouldn't be desirable! What do I do, Cloud? What do I do?!" she pleads, dropping her head on the bar, and clasping her hands before her face.
Why? What do I do? I mean, I don't know how to handle these situations!
Tifa! Tifa save me!
"Uh..."
"I mean, Cloud, he's...he's Reno! I should hate him! I don't know what to do!"
"Uh..."
"Maybe I should call him back? No, he wouldn't answer...I could apologize I guess, but I don't think...I just don't think he'd accept it..."
"Uh..."
Her eyes brighten suddenly, "Maybe I should hit on him!"
WHAT?! No!
"Uh...why?"
"Because Cloud, I haven't been hit on in ages!"
"What about the wedding?"
"That doesn't count," Yuffie waves her hand, dismissive.
"Why not?"
"Because that was a wedding, Cloud. No one that hooks up at weddings stays hooked up, kay? Get with the picture, geeze."
Sorry if I'm not educated in these types of dealings...
"I'll hit on him, turn the tables on him! Make him feel what it's like to be completely emotionally upchucked like that!"
Doesn't that defeat the purpose, though? I mean, didn't she want to prove to him that she doesn't want to be hit on by him? Isn't that like mixed signals or some crap like that?
I'm so confused...
"Hey Yuffie, what's up?" Tifa smiles, stepping behind the bar beside of me.
Her hair is wet, and she smells like strawberries.
"Tifa, ehmahgawd I'm going to hit on Reno!" Yuffie squeals.
Tifa's eyes go wide, "What?!"
Finally! Someone that sees the light! Talk her out of it, Tifa!
Tifa grabs Yuffie's arms, a big grin splitting her face, "That is awesome."
What?! No! Tifa stop! That is not awesome! It's anything but awesome! That's like...ex-awesome! No!
"I know, right?"
Wait...wait, what?!
I stare at them perplexed...I've missed something here.
"When?" Tifa asks, her eyes bright.
"The next time I see him!"
What the hell is going on here?
"What's brought about this?" Tifa asks, leaning on the bar.
"Well, I already told Cloud. He's the one who told me to hit on Reno."
"What?" Tifa squawks.
Yeah, what she said!
"Well, not really," Yuffie says waving her hand, "But he hit on me and I punched him on the nose."
"Who hit on you?" Tifa asks, "Cloud?"
What?! No!
"No!" I say before Yuffie can get it out.
Don't insult me like that woman!
Yuffie snickers, and Tifa shrugs, turning her attention back to Yuffie.
"So, what are you going to do?"
"I have no idea," Yuffie says, shaking her head dramatically, "I don't think the normal flirtation will work on him..."
"Or, it might work too good. He's such a flirt himself," Tifa says, sighing.
"Really?"
"Well, it's mostly just when he's drunk. When he's sober, he can remember that Cloud and I are together and Cloud would willingly kill him. It's when he's drunk that he becomes a man-whore."
See, I told you he was a man-whore, but besides that, how often has Reno been stopping around here? And what does drunk Reno forget? Should I stick around more often?
"Really?" Yuffie asks.
Yeah, really?
I should learn Reno's drinking schedule...prevent these encounters from happening...
"Sure. Oh, oh look, Rude's coming in...maybe...maybe we can get Reno in here today..." Tifa says, spotting Rude through the window.
Rude walks in, pausing at the doorway; he's probably a bit unnerved by the way Yuffie and Tifa are staring at him and whispering.
He makes his way slowly over towards us, sitting down beside of Yuffie cautiously. Yuffie and Tifa are still staring at him.
"Want the usual, Rude?" Tifa asks finally.
Rude gives a silent nod of his head as Tifa reaches beneath the bar to get his drink.
Yuffie glances at Rude slyly, "Speaking of the usual, where's Reno?"
"Uh..." Rude is at a loss.
Tifa returns with his drink, leaning onto the bar. Yuffie and Tifa both stare at him with the most ...I can't even explain it. It's like the ultimate puppy dog look, except it's coming from both of them. Rude's a goner.
"Say, Rude, can you do us a favor?" Tifa asks, pouting.
Stop pouting!
"Sure, I suppose."
No! Say no! Fight the pout man, fight it!
I glare at Rude from over Tifa's head, shaking my head slowly as to not alert Yuffie. I can't tell if he's even looking at me though, dammit, since he's got those damn sunglasses on!
Yuffie grins, "Could...you uh, ya know...call up Reno for us?"
Rude frowns, "Why? Reno will be here in a minute. He's meeting me here."
It's like a whirlwind; they brush past us and head to the other end of the bar, conspiring with low whispers and paranoid glances.
Oh great...here they go.
Rude turns his head towards me, "What's...going on?"
I guess Reno didn't tell Rude about Yuffie punching him.
I best answer truthfully, "I have no idea."
I have no idea why anyone would want to hit on Reno.
...ew.
The door opens, and I glance up towards it. It's him, Reno, he's here and he has no idea what's going to happen to him. He's going to be pounced on. I have half a mind to chuck the glass I'm holding at him...maybe that'll scare him away.
Reno saunters into the bar, a hand in his pocket, and the other one grasping a slushy. He slurps on it loudly as he makes his way over to the bar.
Suddenly Yuffie is beside of him, beaming up at him. He flinches, staring at her. Tifa moves up beside of me, leaning on the bar to watch with interest.
"I don't know if this will work..." Tifa says softly.
"Why? Because he can't forgive her for punching him on the nose?" I ask.
Rude swiftly turns his head to look at us, and Tifa sighs.
"Nope," she says shaking her head, "Because she's Yuffie and she's bound to mess this up."
That was harsh...but probably true.
Rude turns his head back to watch the proceedings.
Suddenly it looks like Reno's accusing Yuffie of something (surprise surprise) and Yuffie's saying something vehemently.
It happens in a split second. One moment, Reno's slurping on his slushy, the next..well, the next it's sitting on Yuffie's head.
Yuffie screams, and Reno flinches, but holds his ground. They exchange heated words, and we all stare in disbelief. After a minute, Yuffie stomps her foot loudly.
"Fine!"
"Fine!" Reno says, tossing his hands up into the air.
He turns sharply, heading for the door as Yuffie takes the cup off her head, crushing it in her hands, and heads back over to the bar.
Tifa frowns, "Oh, Yuffie...I'm so sor–
"I've got a date Friday night!" she grins wide.
What?!
Rude chokes on his drink.
"Really?" Tifa asks dubiously.
"Yup, and all thanks to my genius."
Yeah, right...your genius. That's exactly what it was. That's why you ended up with a slushy on your head.
"Dude, Tifa, can I thieve some of your sexy clothes?"
No, you may not thieve Tifa's sexy clothes. Tifa, say no.
"Sure! Come on! Cloud, watch the bar," Tifa says, grabbing Yuffie's hand and jerking her towards the steps.
"We need to wash your hair first."
"Oh, can I use your strawberry shampoo?"
No! Stop! Stop! I don't need you to wear Tifa's clothes and try and smell like her!
"Oh sure, Yuffie."
Dammit...
I sigh turning to face Rude as I scrub on a glass. How long have I been scrubbing this glass?
Never mind that; Rude's freaking staring at me.
"What?"
"Cloud..." Rude speaks softly.
"Huh?" I grunt.
"What happened to your face?"
I sigh; bastard. I had forgot about that.
Man...forget this. I'm going to go kick Yuffie out and tell Tifa to put the towel back on.
A/N: So, I wanted to do something special for the anniversary...but I didn't know what...so Yuffie and Reno magically popped up and were like rawr. It was fun, and I tried to make this chapter long. Originally it started out with Yuffie coming in the bar, but I added on. I fell the other day. I scraped my foot up. It hurt. I had to go out and buy giant ass bandaids. It was an adventure. Anyways...SURPRISE!
zenbon zakura: Heh, I need new slippers; and Cloud will eventually get around to theiving Tifa's!
Sabith: I hope this was special enough! I couldn't think of anything else Thanks alot!
AzNAnGeL07: If you can find a priest to wed you to this story, I suppose that's fine by me! XD
Altais: It's okay! I'm glad you like it!
annomynous: OMG I know...Yuffie w/ a kid is scarrrrrrry! Not as scarry as the wrath of Barret though O.o
sam: Thanks so much! I'm glad to motivate the inner cloti in anyone. It's fun XP
Alice001: He isn't a morning person; I hate getting up early too.
Summer Jasmine: Quit giving me ideas! Oh man, that would be pure torture for Cloud...not to mention the fact she'd probably be carrying a camera
x.one.winged.angel.x: Pink bunny slippers...big fluffy ears. Oh yeah, that's manly
Toons: I'm glad you understood that! I wasn't sure if it was clear or not. I wish I had squeaky slippers...or slippers that used to squeak!
Admiral Andalite: Heh, was this torture enough for him? I hope sure hope so for his sake.
Tibbar Sabertooth: Fluffiness is good for the heart though: ). Thanks!
Duderman: Thanks so much! I'm always glad when people say Cloud is in character
ishmaranara: Oh? Cold is good...it's finally a bit cool here. I'm so happeh! I hope one day you enjoy snow; everyone should XD
Zaz9-zaa0: HAHA! I couldn't put Cloud in my slippers; I like them too much to give 'em up!
Shugoshin No Sora: That's a good idea; I'll have to work that in somewhere XD The Morning of the Slipper Wars Cue dramatic music
Kohryu: Thanks so much!
karin23: Thanks! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
lady Alexas: Thanks!
Raito Akuma: Glad you love it! XD
Princess of Queens: It would : )