A/N :: Hey! Sorry for the long wait! I've been . . . busy. Yes, before you ask, I am in the middle of writing the next chapter for The Virgin Nessie and the Head Banger Jacob. If you haven't read that yet, go check it out! I'm told that I am doing an awesome job on it! *wink wink* Ok, question that I all want you to answer in your review, is do you have twitter? If you do, read my author's note down at the bottom! Ok, so . . . I'm going to recommend a fanfic to you all. I hope you like Bella/Edward parings. If not . . . don't bother going to this fiction. Soldier Boy by anallbr :: http : / / www . fanfiction . net / s / 516 81 74 / 1 / Soldier _ Boy. And The Bet by summerleigh81 :: http : / / www . fanfiction . net / s / 5 39 14 53 / 1 / The _ Bet. Both are great! Now . . . this is the longest chapter I have ever written. I was nice and made it long and it took me forever! If you want MORE chapters like that, then you'll have to review, and wait a bit longer then you do like the other chapters. So it's up to you. Is it worth the wait? If you ask me . . . I say yes. But I'm just the author of this silly little story. Nothing more.
Boob grope and tongue fuck to my beta Hans153! Thanks for whoring yourself out to me babes! *wink wink*
Disclaimer: ~Stands up to mic~ Do I own twilight?
~Crowd~ NO!
~Takes a Sharpie and crosses out Stephenie Meyer's name on Twilight and replaces it with own~ How about now?
NPOV
Just fucking great; we are going clubbing tonight. I don't mind going clubbing . . . it's just that Jake thinks it's fucking awesome to bring a bleach blonde anorexic slut with him every time damn time we go out. But I guess I would rather choose that he bring a girl with him than have him come home with him. I mean come on! My room is right next to his! It's kind of annoying hearing 'Oh, god Jakey! Fuck me harder! Oh! I'm coming!' all night. I mean . . . Jakey . . . really? God . . . I can't make up my mind rather if I want to laugh my ass off or go puke my guts out in the toilet. But anyway . . . back to my complaining about clubbing with Jake. One, I'm always the odd ball out. Two, my heart has to suffer extreme and horrible pain every time. Four, Jacob always seem very . . . verbose about the matter; meaning that he always 'jokes' about it when ever he can get the chance; saying things like 'Hey Nessie! You need to get LAID!' or 'Ness . . . I haven't seen you with a man in quite some time . . . you deciding to bat for the other team?' and yes before you ask . . . those jokes did hurt. But I never let the hurt show. I just put on a fake smile and I fake laugh and I fake going along with it. Because I know that if I let one emotion slip, my relation with Jacob now . . . will all be in the dumpster and down the toilet. And I don't want that to happen so I must keep all of my emotions and words in check or to myself before I let them out for the world to hear. Because God forbid that I let one little thing slip and Jacob as I know him will cease to exist in my life!
But anyways . . . I have to figure out what to wear. I'm contemplating on wearing a tutu and an over-sized 'I'm With Stupid' shirt just so that a way when ever a girl comes close to Jacob's lap, she's automatically leave because he's friends with 'me'. But then again . . . Jake might be a too embarrassed to even say that he knows me . . . so that won't work. Oh, well. I have vowed that I will not say a single word to him or anyone about my feelings for him. It would only result in—oh you already know! Okay, so back to my clothing for tonight; since a tutu and an 'I'm With Stupid' shirt has been over ruled, how about my black plaid mini skirt, a plane black tight fit v-neck shirt and my black gothic combat boots! I think yes! That outfit always makes the guys (and sometimes girls) flock around me like I am the last drop of water on the Earth! Call me cocky about my Gothic outfit, but its true! Tonight I am embracing my inner Gothic princess. She's been bugging me to let her out of for a bit. Speaking of Gothic . . . I need to call my mom and dad. They've just got back from their twenty year anniversary from Romania. Edward and Bella Mason (mom and dad) are totally into the Goth scene. I was raised Gothic. My mom and dad had little gothic baby clothes to put me in . . . I was a cute gothic baby. Ok, so enough about my gothic parents and back to my conquest for Jacob's heart. I'm never going to get it but I can't help but hope, pray, and fantasize that it will happen. Yes, I fantasize about Jake. You would too if you were in my predicament.
"Hurry the fuck up snail! This King Cobra needs to be at the club already!" Ugh! Couldn't he just give me another twenty minutes? "Jesus! I just got out of the damn shower! Keep you sparkle in your pants; I'm hurrying the best I can asshole!" Yes I know I was being a major cunt wipe right now, but seriously! Then man just needs to understand that I'm a girl and that I take A LONG time to get ready! I can't stay mad at him forever. I need to apologize; that was rude. But then again . . . if I apologized right away . . . he might suspect something. Now we don't want that, do we? No. Hell to the no. Ok, so now that I'm dressed, time for make up. Nothing to dark but nothing to light . . . I don't want to look like a slut but at the same time I don't want to look like I'm not trying to look like I'm not trying to look nice. Wow . . . that's what you call a tongue twister! Ok, so after I got my make up all on I went and grabbed my purse, put some money, condoms (you never know), lip gloss, mascara and spearmint gum in it. Ok, I think I'm ready!
"Fuck Renesmee! God, I don't know what the fuck crawled up your vagina and took over! All I was asking was for you to hurry up! I wasn't asking you too-," I opened my bedroom door and when Jake got a good look at the glare I had on my face, he shut up and stepped aside. "I'm ready. Let's go." I focused on the clunk of my boots as I walked to the front door to keep me from turning around and dropping to my knees and asking for his forgiveness. I must not let my weakness show. God forbid if I did. As I walked out of our apartment, I felt a strong hand grip my shoulder and spin me around. I was met with Jake's confused and worried eyes. "Ness . . . I'm sorry. That was fucking rude of me to say. It's just been a horrid day today and I want to get to the club so I can my drink on." Great . . . drunken Jacob is a pain in the ass; he's always so bossy and bitchy when he's drunk. I must not buckle and say that I should apologize and not him because then he'll see past my façade. I just need to accept his apology and move on. That is easier said then done. We all know that this damn fight or whatever you want to call it was my fault. It's time to put on the fake smile.
"It's okay Jake. I know you didn't mean any of it." Jacob pulled me into a tight hug. We hugged for what had seemed forever. I never wanted to stop. But all too soon Jake pulled away and simply stated that we needed to get a move on.
When we arrived at Es schmeckt wie Dunkelheit, we (well Jake) was bombarded by bleach blonde sluts with fake tans and, boobs filled with rubber, cheek bones that were probably made out of Michael Jackson's body, and of course clothes that were [probably] meant for a six year old girl. It just sickened me out. Why does he think that he must choose these types of girls? Does he not know that they sleep around (possibly even with each other) and could have some sort of venereal disease that could transform his dick into a tape worm? I guess not. I just prayed he used condoms every time . . .
"Jakey! Oh my god! You are so handsome! Oh! Who's this? You're little sister? She is SO totally cute!" God . . . her nasally voice made me want to puke my guts up.
"Uh no, this is Nessie my roommate and best friend." Don't forget to mention that I am hopeless and irrevocably in love with you!
"Oh. Nessie . . . like the Lochness Monster? How . . . interesting. Did your parents like not think before they like named you?" She better shut the fuck up!
"You're one to talk . . . Vaginlina." Jake said with MAJOR emphasis on the . . . Vaginlina. Were her parents on dope when they named her?
"Don't make fun of my name! It's Hungarian! My mom is Hungarian!" She ran off screaming. I turned and looked at Jake in unabashed laughter; that shit was funny as hell. I mean, the person who came up with that name must have been on some really good drugs . . . I bet she got made fun of a lot when she was in high school. I know I would have made fun of her. And I probably would have beat her up too. I would have done a lot of evil stuff to her.
We went inside the club and headed over to the bar. Jake ordered two Jager Bulls (Jagermeister mixed with Red Bull) and we headed over to a table where (conveniently) my best girl friend Victoria was sitting with her husband Nahuel who was rubbing her pregnant stomach. I wanted that. I wanted to be pregnant with Jacob's child. I wanted him to rub my stomach that was swollen with his child as he/she kicked. I felt the tears prickle in my eyes. I would never have that. No matter how much I wished and fantasized. I would always be single ol' Renesmee Mason. I will never have children. The only children that I want are Jake's children. Yeah, I know that it is picky and conceited of me to say that, but I can't help but say it, because I know I will never have any kids. I quickly willed the tears away, because unholy Gods forbid that I cried as I was walking with Jake over the table where Victoria and her husband sat, cooing about how their baby was going to be a soccer player.
"Nessie! Oh my god! You should have called me and told me that you were going to be here!" Victoria squealed as she got up the chair that she was sitting in and gave me a hug.
"I didn't know you were going to be here. Who's watching James?" James was their son that they had right after we had graduated high school. He was really a cute kid.
"Oh, my parents are; they're down here for the baby's birth." She said as she rubbed her stomach.
"Do you guys know what you're having? Or what you want?" I asked as we went and set down at the table.
"We're going to have a girl. I personally didn't care what we have, just as long as our baby is healthy and strong."
I didn't know what to say so I just said the first thing that came to mind. "That's good."
While Victoria and I were reminiscing about high school, Jake had gotten up and went to dance with some slut. I looked over at them and saw how she was grinding all over his crotch and how he grinded back on her ass. I think I threw up in my mouth and my heart broke even more. Victoria stopped in the middle of talking about how she once caught Aro blowing Alec behind the gym . . .
"Why don't you just tell him you love him?" She asked as if it were an everyday question.
"Wha-what do you mean?" I asked, acting like I really didn't know what she meant.
"Don't play stupid with me, Ren. I know that you're head over heals for him. I know this. Everyone knows this except Jacob. Everyone knows because of the way that you look at him. You look at him like you're waiting for him to turn around and run towards you and start making out with you! You're love sick." The fuck? Everyone know? This means that . . . oh fuck! What if she says something to him?
Victoria, sensing that the look on my face was one of worry; she immediately said that she wouldn't say a word to Jake. She would let me do that for myself. I thanked the unholy Gods and my stars that I have such a wonderful friend. Victoria has always been there for me. I don't know what I would do without her.
I had drunk three Jager Bulls and two beers and one Dr. Pepper. I wasn't drunk but I was buzzed. As I walked over to the bar to get water for Victoria who was making out with her husband, I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist. I stiffened, ready to press my thumb into his eyeball and watch him fall to the ground as his eye will be unfixable.
"Relax, Ness! It's just me!" Phew! It's only Seth. I turned around and proceeded to slap him upside the head. In the words of Axl Rose; that shit just ain't cool. The creeping up on me, I mean.
"Ow! Hey! What was that for?" He feigned hurt.
"For creeping up on; you know how I hate that shit."
He nodded.
"So . . . Where's Jake?" I turned him around and pointed to Jake who was currently sucking face with a blonde bimbo slut.
"Oh. Well . . . I-I don't know what to say Ness." I knew that he saw the hurt look on my face and he (naturally) felt bad. I didn't blame; I would feel bad for me too. In fact, I do feel bad for me. But of course, that's me! The girl who is in love with her best friend! Joy! Seth and I had gone to the bar and grabbed a shot of vodka.
"Hey Ren, you wanna come dance with me?" Seth asked after we both downed the shot glass of vodka and slammed our drinks harshly on the counter.
"Yeah, as long as you don't do anything nasty; I don't want to feel your peen rubbing up against my booty!" He had a agreed and we both walked to the dance floor laughing. Seth pulled me into his arms as me danced to Haddaway's 'What is Love'. We had danced for what had seemed like forever until there was a in the middle of the dance floor. Seth had tugged me by the hand to the where the fight was to see who was fighting. I was shocked out of my skin when I saw Jake fucking up Marcus Bowman's face. I ran over to them and tried to break them up.
"Renesmee! Let go of my fucking arm!"
"No Jake! You'll kill! And then you'll go to jail!" I screamed at him. This didn't seem to stop him.
I took my thumb and pressed it hard into Jake's left eye; he rolled off of Marcus whose face was barely noticeable through all the blood.
"FUCKING LET GO OF MY EYE, BITCH!"
I let my hand down and crawled over to Jake, looking him in the eyes.
"Jake . . . why were you beating the shit out of Marcus? He's half your size!" Jake's eyes roamed the room nervously.
"He was going to take the girl I was going to take home." He said quietly. See? He's totally oblivious to my love for him.
"That's no reason for you to almost kill the dude!"
"Whatever."
I took Jake over to the bar and I ordered a Dr. Pepper and he had ordered three shots of whiskey. By the time Jake was on his eighth shot of Jameson, he was knocked over drunk. Literally, I could've knocked him over with my god damned pinky!
Jake had found another girl and I had decided to it was time for us to go home. Since I was the DD, Jake had no choice but to bring his slut with him to go home. When we had all got home, Jake was already starting to rip off slut's clothing and I could feel my heart break and my soul turn black. I had run to my room and hurriedly unbuckled my Goth boots and stripped all of my clothing and underwear and walked to my shower. I stayed in the shower for had seemed years. I got out and wrapped a towel around myself and walked over to my dresser and grabbed the Dr. Pepper boxers I had stolen from Jake last year and my '69 Eyes: Dead Girls are Easy' t-shirt and slipped them both on. I climbed into bed, hearing the moaning and groaning and thumping from Jake's room. I felt the tears pure down my face and the sobs wracked my body.
I fell asleep into a dreamless around three in the morning and the sounds of sex from Jake's room had not subsided.
A/N :: Ok … Honestly … tell me what you think. Oh! And if you have twitter . . . You can follow me at :: www . twitter . com / I _ Have _ Fingers. You can follow Head Banger Jacob at :: www . twitter . com / HeadBangerJacob. You can follow The Virgin Nessie at :: www . twitter . com / TheVirginNessie. I give updates throught Twitter . . . I also post random shit on there . . . I'm ALWAYS on there . . . so are Head Banger Jacob and The Virgin Nessie. And 'schmeckt wie Dunkelheit' means 'It Tastes Like Darkness' German.
Links to Renesmee's outfit and jammies on my profile!
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~Nikki