Peter, Joe and Quagmire asked Horace to let them film in the Drunken Clam's back room. They were allowed to do so only If they gave his bar credit in the video.
The back room of the Drunken Clam was disheveled, with work out equipment and a vandalized brick wall. And on the ceiling was a mural of two armies fighting.
"See, I knew that Giraffiti should be a word, I mean how the hell did some drug dealer get all the way up there" Peter complained.
Peter walked to the middle of the room, set up his tripod and gave the thumbs up to his two friends.
"Ok first day of filming our new YouTube series" Peter announced, holding a camera in front of him. "AquaMongoose episode one"
"You picked AquaMongoose as our show name" asked Joe.
"Yeah, I mean, honestly, me and Quagmire just thought of two random words, said it at the same time and made it our name" Peter explained. "Alright guys…and….action.
Quagmire ran in front of the camera jumping around and waving his hands, Joe quickly rolled in frame and shouted in excitement.
"And cut" said Peter. "Wow, you guys that was really funny, you guys"
"That was so awesome, we should upload it now" Quagmire suggested.
Peter connected his camera to his laptop and put the newly made video on YouTube.
"What should I put in the tags" Peter inquired.
"Well, just to be a douche we should tag words like porn, full episodes of 1,000 ways to die, monkeys and car crashes" suggested Quagmire. "That way if people type any of those searches up, they'll get directed to our video"
"That's not that funny Quagmire, that actually sounds pretty annoying" argued Peter, not sure what he should do.
"If we want views, we need to get them by any means possible" Quagmire pointed out. "Even if it means promising our viewers something that we can't deliver them"
"That's kind of a dick move" replied Peter.
"Nah, it's cool, alot of famous YouTube celebrities lie about some of the stuff that they post" answered Quagmire.
The scene cuts to one of Fred's video.
"Hey you guys, this video is going to be super funny" he spoke in his iconic chipmunk-like voice.
The scene cuts back to Joe updating their video.
"Now just wait for the reviews" Joe said, pleased with the work that they had done with as little effort as possible.
The three guys waited for hours. Sometimes they would fall asleep on the ground, leaning on the brick wall, and other times they would pace.
After a few hours, the video had gotten one view.
"Guys, we freakin' did it, we got a view" exclaimed Peter.
"Did they leave a response" Joe asked.
"Nope, just one view…oop, we have another" Peter said, as the number changed to two views.
The guys waited again, looking at the computer screen from time to time, hoping that this new hobby would work.
"So, how's the absence of alcohol in your lives" questioned Quagmire. "It must be hard getting rid of that constant urge to drink"
"It's terrible, I'm so desperate for a drink that last night I found myself drinking that first aid antiseptic alcohol bottle, and I threw up for like two hours" Peter answered.
Joe and Quagmire groaned together.
"Yeah, it's been rough for me too, now instead of falling asleep after I leave the Clam, I'm wide awake at night" added Joe.
The scene cuts away to Joe and Bonnie in bed.
"Joe, I'm not really in the mood tonight" Bonnie nagged.
"We're having sex" Joe commanded calmly.
"Joe, I really don't want to" she urged.
"We're HAVING SEX" he yelled back, in a voice only Joe can scream.
The scene cuts back to the three guys around the computer.
"Hey, while we're waiting let's watch a video" Peter proposed.
"Sure, hey click on that one with the cat" screeched Quagmire.
A video with a cat in clothes with his paws out, over a keyboard started playing.
Peter, Joe and Quagmire sat opened eyed, waiting for what would happen.
The cat started playing the keyboard in a catchy tune for a few seconds.
After the video was finished, each of the men were severely disappointed.
"What the hell was that, we could do something as million times better" Peter squawked. "And look at how many views and good ratings that it got"
Peter turns from the computer desk, to face the reader/audience.
"I'm serious, like if you haven't seen it yet, go on YouTube, type in "Charlie Schmidt's Keyboard Cat – Original", and it has like twelve million views" Peter stated. "And I mean it's so fake too, you can clearly see the guys hand up the cat's ass".
Peter freezes and looks around.
"Uhhh line please" Peter asked, anxiously.
"Just make a joke, so that we could cut out" someone responded off screen, under their breathe.
"So, uh, let's go see what screwy things that Stewie and Brian are doing" announced Peter. "Jeez...am I fired"
Back at the Griffin's house, Stewie and Brian bickered the way they usually do, but in reverse roles.
"Brian, can you take out the mail" Lois asked.
"Sure, no problem" replied Stewie, grabbing the mail from her hand and walking outside.
It hadn't been Stewie's day, he had a massive headache from the night before, he had to shelve his pride to poop out on the lawn where Brian usually does and he had to sit at the foot of Peter and Lois's bed. On top of all of this, it was hailing.
Stewie ran towards the mailbox, and as he did, the fierce wind threw a car in to it.
"Damn it, in what world does that happen" Stewie shouted, running to Brian's car.
He put the keys in ignition and moved the gear shift in to drive.
"Damn" Stewie yelled after realizing that his feet couldn't reach the pedals.
He opened the glove compartment and a bag of meth dropped out. Stewie picked it up and held it in front of him.
"What is this, sugar" Stewie said to himself, looking around. "Lois doesn't let me have sugar, I wonder how it tastes"
Stewie took a handful out of the bag and stuck it in his mouth.
"Gee, it smells funny too" he added.
Stewie took a deep breath out of the meth bag and started twitching.
He started banging his head against the driver's window, with blood dripping from his nose.
He cranked up the radio to its highest sound level and banged his head against the steering wheel.
Peter, walks passed the car, in to the house.
"Hey honey, where have you been all day" asked Lois.
"I've been filming YouTube videos with Joe and Quagmire all day" Peter replied.
"Yeah, and how are they going" Lois inquired.
"Not as good as I thought, we only had seven views today and two comments that both told me to f*ck myself and shove dry ice up my ass. Peter responded "I think that this whole video thing is a waste of time"
"All of you shouldn't be fooling around with internet videos, and start finding Joe a new line of work" Lois I'm sure that somebody out there that's watching your videos, so don't get your hopes down" The scene cuts away to President Bush sitting down in pajamas watching Peter's YouTube video.
"What the hell this isn't Shane Dawson" Bush complained. "I like my YouTuber's emo and homosexual"
"Honey, your tater tots are done" his wife, Laura called.
"Tater tots, sweet" Bush said, turning his computer off.
The scene cuts back to the Griffin's house.
"Peter, look, you guys need to help find Joe a new job soon before he starts running out of money" insisted Lois.
"Fine, but let us make our next video first" Peter argued. "We call it "Illegal Alien vs. Child Predator"
The scene cuts to Consuela dressed up in a black alien costume and Herbert dressed up as the Predator.
"Hey, I thought you guys said that I was filling in for one of you as a guardian for a school trip or something" Herbert complained, walking away, aided by his walker.
"I…I no can read these lines" added Consuela starring at a script.