A/N: Hey guys, I'm back. I know it's been eons since I've last posted. My life has hit the high end of low. My depression got the best of me. I'm sorry. I'm trying to write TVNHBJ but I'm thinking that I'm going to take it down and rewrite it. I know, I know. It's going to take awhile for it to be done but I'm going to make it ten times better. I'm also in the middle of writing my own book so I can get it published and make my dream of being an author real. But I also really want to thank all of my fans who have stuck with me and that are still out there. Thank you for your patients.

SM owns all and everything Twilight. Do you think an adult with a minimum wage job, a cat and an obsession with Halo 4 and Call of Duty would own Twilight? If I did … sure as hell know I wouldn't be here writing for you guys.

WARNING: If you are not old enough to buy cigarettes legally … then you are not old enough for this story. Sorry. Exit out. Exit out now.

NPOV

I woke up in the morning, feeling like crap. My head was hurting like a mother fucker, my mouth tasted like a cat came and shit in it and my body was covered in sweat. I got up and went to my bathroom and took a shower and brushed my teeth in hopes that I could the cat shit taste out of it. But what the shower didn't help was my damn headache. My head hurt so bad that I wanted to go and beat the shit out of it for hurting me so bad.

After I had gotten dressed in dark blue jeans and my 'Spooning Leads to Forking' T-Shirt that I had stolen from Jacob along with the boxers, braided my hair and put on my make up, I went out into the living and picked up my iPod that was laying on the coffee table next to Jake's latest edition of Play Boy. Gross.

I put the iPod in the docking station that was next to the microwave in the kitchen and put it on the cheesy eighties song You Spin Me Right Round by Dead or Alive and jacked up the volume as far as the docking station would let me. Jake absolutely hated this song. So guess what?

Wake up call!

I started dancing around like a crazy person as I cleaned the already clean kitchen. Soon enough as the song was in its chorus; Jake's bedroom door opened and out came a hung over, makeup smeared-faced blonde bimbo who honestly made me flinch back in a fright because she looked like . . . she looked horrible. Ha!

"What is that terrible noise?" The bimbo asked as she stumbled into the kitchen and plopped down on the barstool that I had used to stand up to dust the fake plants on top of the fridge.

"Music," I answered as bent down to retrieve the cleaner underneath the sink.

"Hmph. Can I have some coffee, please? My head hurts and the only way to get rid of it is to drink coffee." She asked as she picked at her long manicured fingernails.

"Sure you can. But just to warn you, I put roofline* in people's coffee that I don't like." I said as I grabbed a coffee mug and a bottle of eye drops disguised as roofline*.

"What the fuck is roofline?"

I rolled me eyes.

"Roofie . . . the Date Rape drug . . . ring any bells?"

"Oh that. Are you really gonna put it in my coffee?" She started to get off of the barstool.

"Yeah . . . I don't like you and this will be easier to get you out of my apartment."

"You mean yours and Jake's apartment." She crossed her arms against her plastic chest.

"No I mean my apartment. It's mine, I bought it, and I pay the utilities. Not Jake."

"Well if you want me out you could be nice and not a bitch and just ask me to leave instead of threatening me with roofie."

I slammed the bleach that was in my hands onto the counter that I was cleaning and turned towards her.

"You listen, slut. This is my apartment, and I shall do what I wish. If I wish to kill you and go Dexter* on your ass, I shall do so, if I wish to go Sweeny Todd* on your ass, I will and if I wish to give you roofie, I sure as hell will."

She stepped back and fell onto the floor with a terrified look on her face.

"You can't do that! That's all illegal!" I leaned down and got in her face.

"What the police don't know won't hurt them," I said with a smirk. No, I wasn't really going to do anything of the stuff I said, but come on, I hate the bitch.

Just then, Jake appeared from his room, dressed in only plaid sleep sweats. I looked at his face and practically orgasmed; his hair was all messy and his face had sleep marks from his pillow and his eyes were squinted. He looked like shit but he looked so fucking sexy.

He walked into the kitchen and grabbed an empty coffee cup from the cupboard and went over the coffee machine and poured himself some. He liked his coffee strait up black.

Bimbo Slut was giving me the evil eye.

Jake looked up and met her eyes. His stance went stiff.

"Jane, you need to leave before Nessie throws her cooking knives at you." He said lazily.

"Wait, this is just a onetime thing?" She scoffed.

"Damn straight. I don't sleep with the same slut twice; especially one with a loose pussy, like yours." Jake said as he poured himself some Lucky Charms*.

Jake walked over to the living room and sat on the couch, propped his feet on the coffee table and turned on the TV to the news while he ate his nasty breakfast cereal.

I rolled my eyes as I sprayed the liquid cleaner on the counter and wiped in off furiously with an old bleached stained dish towel.

I noticed Jane was still sitting in the kitchen with a dumbfounded look on her stupid slut face.

"Yo, cock whore, I think Jake told you to leave. You might want to make a smart decision and grab your shit and leave. You've over stayed your welcome long enough,"

She rolled her eyes at, folded her arms over her chest and walked over to where Jake was setting and plopped down next to, as if I had never told her to leave. Whatever, though. It's not like I had any claim over Jacob. No matter how much I wish I did.

I don't understand why Jacob won't consider us being together; we're fucking perfect for each other. Jake and I grew up together; I know everything about him and vise versa. We live in the same fucking apartment, granted I pay for it all because money is hard to come by for Jake, but I love him and that's why I do it. What makes the whole situation even shittier is that it must be completely obvious to him that I'm berserkers for him.

It's like he knows that I want him, but he doesn't even want to think about being with me. I could be over thinking things, and over thinking things is bad in every way possible. I'd give anything to just be able to call him mine, to be able to have those cheesy moments that you see couples on TV have.

I want all of that and ten times more. But confessing to Jake would have to be my biggest fear. The fear of rejection makes my heart burn and my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Ness … I think the kitchen is clean enough, dude," Jake's voice broke me out of my deep thoughts.

I looked down at the counter I was scrubbing away at and dropped my towel on the floor and wiped my hands off on my shirt.

Jake pulled me into a hug, "Are you alright, Ness? You seemed like you where lost in your own thoughts,"

I looked up in his deep brown eyes and saw the concern on his face; he was genuinely concerned.

"Yeah … I'm fine … I was just thinking about how I'm going to stay a single old cat lady for the rest of my life," I mumbled into his chest.

Jake chuckled and pulled me at arm's length and looked me in the eyes.

"Ness, you are beautiful and amazing. You're not going to die alone with your cats. There are plenty of guys out there in the world and I'm sure one of them is looking for you," he says as he walk over to the cookie jar and grabs an oreo, "Oh that reminds me! You remember Gabe from my work? Yeah? Well I think you two would be great together. I'm setting you two up on a date." He winked and walked into his bedroom and shut the door to – and I'm assuming—to take a shower.

What the fuck? Those where definitely not the words you want to hear from the man who's babies you want to carry.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

All hope was lost. He just plain and simple did not want me at all. That was his way of telling me he wasn't interested.

My depression settled in … weaved its way through my rib cage and wove it's self around my heart.

I walked back to me bedroom, went to my night stand and grabbed two Ambien* and swallowed them dry and crawled in bed and cried until they kicked in.

I dowsed off into dreamless sleep.

Peaceful.

Numb.

Void of emotions.

Exactly how I wanted to be forever.

A/N: *Roofline … date rape drug … ya'll know that.

*Ambien … it's a prescribed sleeping medication. I take it. It's wonderful.

*Lucky Charms … if you're from a different country and don't know what these are … they are a breakfast cereal. I don't like them, but to each their own.

*Dexter is a TV show on Showtime … It's really good. But the books are better.

*Sweeny Todd … must I explain?

Anyways … thank you all for reading … review and tell me what you think, if you would like.

I love you all.

~Nikki