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Jake or Edward, Jake or Edward. That thought was repeating in my head. I needed to figure it out. If I hurt Jake I would never forgive myself, but losing Edward? Was it worth it? Can I live without him? Can I forgive him? Will he leave again? Do I deserve better? I know I do, but I deserve him. What will the girls think? They love Jake, they even call him dad. Am I willing to give that up? How will they react to Edward? So many questions I need to answer. But I don't know if I can. I need to try to leave. Maybe if I see how they will react, then base it on that? No I can't Jake will freak. Something about the pull. But I don't feel the pull to him. I feel it to Edward, but not to Jake. How will they react? I need to ask the girls first.
"Babies? Wake up." I said while shaking them.
"Hi momma." They said together.
"Guys, do you like Daddy?" I asked.
"Yeah." They said seriously.
"How about Uncle Edward?" I asked.
"We love him." They said.
"Would you like him as a dad?" I asked.
"Yea." They said while yawning.
"Sleep my angels." I sighed.
"Night." They said together.
They would. They would like Edward. But can I leave Jake? I don't know. When I see Jake, it is like seeing an old pal. When I see Edward the sun dances. The earth stands still. Can't breathe because of his beauty. He is my Greek god. He is my center. But am I willing to hurt Jake. Am I willing to leave the love I do feel for him for Edward? Can I take leaving him? Most importantly, which one will hurt the least? How will either one react? Who would I loose for my heart to be satisfied. Can I still love Edward after all the pain he caused my family and I. Who will my family accept? At that moment my family walked in. Angela hand in hand with Ben and the same with Jess.
"Bella…you have been in your room with the girls for almost two days. Ever since you got back from saving Edward you haven't been the same. You seem distant. What is wrong?" Angela asked.
"Guys…who would you rather me be with? Which one will you accept as family?" I almost begged for answers.
"Well, Edward did this to us…..but we can see that he makes you happier. You seem more…loving. And Jake seems like a friend. Jake will always be family….Edward….you love him and we can see that. We would rather you be happy." Angela spoke for the group again. I almost cried if I could.
"I don't know what to do." I dry sobbed. It hurt to think of loosing Edward but it hurt for me to be with him. To loose Jake seemed like hell but to lead him on will hurt him more.
"To loose Edward will be hell but to be with him will be hell to and to loose Jake seems worse, but to lead him on will hurt him more." I sighed, I don't know whom to choose.
"Well, why don't we get ready for school and you can think about it." Jess suggested.
"Sure." I sighed. We did only have 4 hours until school. They would probably give me a make over before. That will get my mind off of things.
"Come on." They said they pulled me out of the room and into the closet. It is so peaceful in here. We put it on as an addition while we were gone. We have a staircase so we can reach the top. Jess went to get cloths and Ang started on my hair. She always likes to do funky designs.
"Okay, Bells, are you in the mood for sexy for rocker?" Jess asked.
"Sexy." I sighed.
"Great." She said loudly. She loved dressing me in hot sporty outfits. I usually just go along because I don't care what I look like.
"Okay, I will do a curly straight look." Ang said as she turned on the straight, and curler.
"What ever." I sighed.
How am I suppose to enjoy this when I have a huge problem. I need to figure it out and Ang and Jess are no help. I need a professional.
**
An hour after the make over ended and we had 2 hours until school, I decided to face my fears and confront Alice. She must know which one will make me happier.
"Alice, please help me." I almost begged.
"Of course, you will always be my sister." She laughed.
"Which one." She knew what I meant.
"Let me check." I looked in her mind and saw my first future. Edward and I were kissing in front of the lockers, then the girls were sleeping in his lap. The next future was not as bright. Jake and I were sitting on the porch. I didn't look happy, the girls look the same. But I wasn't happy. Then a third choice. I forgot about it. There was no future. The girls were with Jake and I was not there. They were crying. I saw my body in ashes. I must have killed…..myself.
"Okay." I sighed while getting up.
"I'll see you at school." I sighed.
"Bella. What your heart tells you, you must follow." Was all she said.
"I only nodded and ran out the door. I decided to go hunting. I am a master so my cloths won't be ruined. I decided to go for a challenge…mountain lion. I could smell it so I let my instincts take over. I was running in circles until I heard a blood-curling scream. I ran to the sound and saw a young girl, she was bitten, she must not be even 15. Then, I saw them. I saw scars. Hundreds all over her body. I looked and saw someone hiding. I ran at them, they are a vampire. So I used the easy attack…I put a force field around her. She seemed new. Not even a month. So I needed answers. I couldn't try to suck the venom out. It was to late so I went to the other.
"Who created you." I asked.
"Sara." She said simply.
"Are you new?" I asked.
"Yes I went through the change a month ago. Please I want her. Let me finish her." She begged while holding her throat.
"Try this." I said while attacking a deer and snapping its neck in one swift movement. This one will be hard to train.