I'm sure most of you have given up on this story by now, but oh well...
Alice was pacing up and down the room with the determination of a drill sergeant, hands behind her back and eyes on the floor. Her head jerked up at the creak of the door as I entered, and she rushed towards me and grabbed my hand.
"Edward! What took you so long?" she demanded as she dragged me towards the sofa. "Actually, nevermind. There's no time for your excuses!" She shoved me onto the couch, pulled up a stool, and hauled out an enormous chalkboard from behind the cabinet.
"Do I even want to know how you got that?" I asked.
"Well, I think Emmett and Rose enjoy… playing teacher sometimes, if you know what I mean." She raised her eyebrows.
"Ah," I said, eyeing the sofa with new distaste. Who knew what acts had desecrated its innocent cushions?
"But that's not the point! We are here to discuss you and Bella! We need a game plan." She tapped the chalkboard meaningfully.
"I feel like we're planning a military strategy," I muttered.
"Oh, no," Alice grinned devilishly. "This is much more complicated. So, we started with the flower… now, how was her reaction? Was she ecstatic or merely delighted?"
"I'd say delighted," I answered. "She actually thought it was a mistake and had been intended for someone else."
"Hmm, not very confident, then? All right…" she scribbled a note down. "Now, does she wear any jewelry?" I frowned, trying to remember. Her neck was usually bare, but I'd seen her wrists adorned before.
"Not necklaces, but sometimes bracelets," I answered.
"Favorite color?"
"Er… she wears blue a lot?"
"Favorite activity?"
"Reading, definitely."
"Favorite book, then?"
"She mentioned one of the Brönte sisters once…"
"Favorite movie?"
"Alice!"
"What?" she asked innocently.
"Why on earth would she tell me her favorite movie? I didn't cross-examine her, you know." Alice rolled her eyes and heaved a great sigh.
"Fine, then. I suppose this is enough for now. But pay attention to her! You have to know what she likes."
I nodded uncertainly, clasping and unclasping my hands. Alice sighed again.
"What's wrong, Edward? Spit it out."
"Don't you think this is at all manipulative? I feel as if I'm just trying to find her weaknesses so I can get her to like me. Isn't that wrong?"
"Oh, Edward. That's what strategy is all about." Alice smirked. Then she turned serious. "Really, though, Edward, I know what you're feeling. You don't want her to like you because you like her or because you give her nice things. You want her to like you for you." I nodded.
"Well, trust me, this isn't like that. These little presents are just ways to show her that you care. Bella is so unconfident now that I doubt she thinks any boy has ever liked her. If you approached her now, she'd think it was a cruel joke. The gifts will really build up her confidence."
"Okay, Alice. I'm trusting you."
"Good! Then we should start with – " she consulted her notes – "A book!"
"Sounds good," I replied. "How about Pride and Prejudice?"
"Excellent," she said, nodding approvingly. "Maybe you won't completely screw this up after all, Edward."
"Thanks, Alice."
"No problem. But we still need to think of a way to deliver it." She frowned a little.
"What's wrong with putting it on her desk?" I asked.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Because that would be boring, Edward. The presents have to be little surprises to brighten up her day. What if there was just a gift at her spot every single time she came to Bio class? She'd come to expect it. It wouldn't be exciting anymore."
"That actually is a good point," I conceded. "So what do you suggest?"
Alice gave a wicked grin. She hopped off her stool, flung the door open, and sang out, "Oh, Jasper! Emmett! Rose!"
All three appeared in an instant, the latter two looking suspiciously disheveled.
"Sit down, sit down," Alice ordered, gesturing to the sofa.
Jasper plopped down next to me, muttering, "What is this all about?"
"I'm not quite sure," I replied. "But knowing Alice, it can't be good."
I grinned as her eyes narrowed.
"I really wouldn't say that, Edward. I am helping you more than you can ever imagine."
"Helping with what?" Emmett asked.
"Why, his courtship of Bella, of course," she announced proudly.
There was a slight pause, and then the room erupted. Emmett tried to high five me. Jasper clapped me on the back. Alice smugly surveyed their reaction. And Rosalie spat out,
"Excuse me?"
Everybody paused. Emmett tried to take her hand, but she snatched it out of his reach.
"Is this a joke? Why would you do this, Alice?" She was livid. Her eyes were black as pitch and her expression murderous.
"Now, Rose," Alice began soothingly, but she was immediately cut off.
"How on earth could he ever court her? He almost killed her before! She's a human, for God's sake! She's obviously noticed we're not normal! What are you going to do when she wants to get close and cuddle, Edward? 'Oh, sorry, I can't, I might bite your neck by mistake!'"
"Rose, we know this will be difficult. And we know that, eventually, we're going to have to tell Bella what we are. But this is a chance at love that Edward will never have again. Can you imagine living without Emmett for the rest of your life? Imagine how miserable you would be."
Rosalie just stared at her.
"I can't believe this. You're actually serious."
"I'm completely serious. This can work, Rose, I know it can." Alice went up to her and took her hands, not so much as flinching when she tried to jerk away.
"Please, Rose. Do this for Edward. Do it for all of us." She gazed up at her, eyes wide and lower lip trembling slightly. "Please?" she whispered.
Rosalie looked away, sighed, looked back again, and gave a very petulant, very unwilling shrug. "Fine," she growled. "I won't stop you. But I'll have nothing to do with her, you understand?"
"Ooh, goody!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands. "Now, down to business…"